


If we burn we burn together

by EloraDanen



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Action & Romance, Adventure & Romance, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bonding, F/M, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:20:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 121,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24644716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EloraDanen/pseuds/EloraDanen
Summary: Rose returns but she carries a secret with her and when the Doctor discovers it his world crumbles down around him. The solution might be too terrible to contemplate but the alternative would be too painful to bear. Both will be forced to make choices which have the power to either save the universe or burn it down.
Relationships: Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler, The Doctor (Doctor Who)/Rose Tyler
Comments: 146
Kudos: 153





	1. A twist of fate

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally posted on ff so if you read it there, it’s pretty much the same, I just never use ff anymore and I wanted to continue it so yeah...
> 
> Alright, this starts off right at the end of the third series just as Martha Jones is about to leave. It is not strictly speaking a rewrite but I rather worked events from the show into the story.
> 
> Also, just a heads up, this is on the angsty side of things. You have been warned! lol
> 
> If you haven’t come across this story before I do hope you enjoy it! And if you have, feel free to give it a reread if you want (there will be a few tweaks) 
> 
> And do let me know what you think! Good or bad :)

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

"I'll see you again mister."

The Doctor watched as the girl turned around and walked away. 

Martha Jones. She’d saved the world without firing a single shot. Oh, he’d liked her. His smile turned sad. Just not the way she’d wanted. 

He turned back to the TARDIS console. The ship gave a comforting sort of hum as though the old girl had sensed his mood. 

Running his hand along the console the Doctor thought, you’re not going to leave me though are you? When all the rest were gone, he’d still have the TARDIS. New adventures. New horizons. 

The thought brought some measure of comfort. 

The Doctor drew in a quick breath through his nose just as Martha came rushing back in a second time. 

He turned around and stared at her in surprise. 

“Doctor...” she trailed off hesitantly. 

The look in her eyes stopped him short. “What?” he asked. A twinge of worry twisted his gut. 

It took a while for Martha to answer. “There’s this girl,” she said, pointing behind her. 

“What girl?”

“This blonde girl. She...” 

Whatever else Martha said the Doctor heard none of it. His blood rushed so fast through his veins it buzzed in his ears. He took a step away from the console. Away from Martha. 

He couldn’t keep doing this, he thought. 

He still saw her everywhere. As a mere reflection in a window or her smile on a random passerby. It was as though her image was imprinted on his eyes and he couldn’t see the world without seeing her. If he didn’t stop this it was going to kill him. She was gone. Rose was gone and he was never going to get her back. 

Shaking his head in an effort to clear it, the Doctor’s hearing finally returned to normal. He managed to focus on Martha who was staring at him. 

“Did you hear me?” she asked. 

“No, sorry, what?” he asked, shaking his head one more time for good measure. 

"The girl, she says she knew you," Martha repeated. 

The Doctor cleared his throat. "Yeah... um... what did she want?" he asked, trying and failing to sound casual. 

Martha looked at him worriedly. "Just to give you a message," she said, hesitant again. She was looking at him as though she feared he would at any moment keel over. 

He went back to the console and flipped some random switch he wasn't even quite sure exactly what it did.

"What was the message?" he asked, not looking at Martha. The longest two seconds in history past while he waited for her answer.

"Bad Wolf."

The Doctor's head flipped around. For just the flash of a second his entire body went numb. Then everything came rushing back in. 

“How do you know that phrase?” he asked, a little harsher than he had intended.

Martha took an unconscious step back. “It’s what the girl said to tell ya.”

As his heartbeats drummed away at an alarming rate inside his chest, the Doctor rushed passed Martha. He flew out the doors. He looked around, scared and panicked and tragically hopeful. 

Then he froze. Because there she stood. A mere few metres away from him. Blue jacket, a breeze catching her blonde hair and coaxing it to dance. 

"Rose?" he breathed. A thousand different conflicting emotions coloured his voice. He couldn’t seem to grasp a single one.

She gave him a little smile. A smile he knew like he knew the shape of the flowers blooming by his old home on Gallifrey. And that is exactly what it felt like looking at her. Like coming home. He took a couple of steps towards her but stopped. Her being here was impossible. She was lost to him.

Rose stood still, that small smile still about her lips. He had dreamed of their reunion a hundred times but never had she just stood there. Why was she just standing there? 

“Rose?” he mouthed silently. 

He took the last couple of steps towards her. He reached out his hand to her face, his eyes roaming over every angle, trying desperately to detect some inconsistency. Some flaw that didn't match with his memory of her, proving she wasn't real. Because she couldn’t be. 

But there was nothing. She was exactly as he remembered. Her hair was a bit longer and her skin a little pale but other than that she was unchanged. His hand hovered inches away from her face. He didn't dare to close the distance, fearing his hand would pass through her as though she was nothing but a ghost. A mirror image of the longing in his hearts. 

"You can't be here," he whispered, his voice breaking. "I lost you."

Sadness filled her eyes as though she too relieved the memory of that day and all the empty ones that followed.

"Doctor..." A lonely tear spilled down her cheek. He brushed it away without thinking. He hated seeing her cry. 

Only after he had done it did he realise he had felt the warmth of her skin. Even now he could feel the tear on the tip of his finger. She wasn't a trick. Not a ghost. She was here. Somehow she was here. 

The Doctor closed the distance and touched her face. Her skin was warm and alive and before he knew what had happened he had caught her up in his arms.

She threw hers around his neck, her fingers in his hair. "Doctor," she mumbled with joy. 

He held Rose fiercely to him. This was some kind of miracle. Some unbelievable twist of fate and at that moment he didn't care if she had broken time to get to him. He didn't care at all.

"Rose. My Rose." 

His fingers got tangled in the blonde tresses of her hair. The texture was like a memory, but alive. So unbelievable alive. 

Rose clutched the collar of his jacket tightly in her fists, holding on as tightly as he did her. 

"My Doctor," she whispered. The sound of her voice nearly broke him.

"Tell me how you are here," he mumbled into her hair, not letting her go. "Tell me how this is possible."

"Oh, do I need to explain something to you now?” she said and he could hear the smile in her voice.

"To be honest I'm not sure I care as long as you're real."

"I'm real," she assured him. "I'm real."

The Doctor let her go, finally pulling away. As much as he had missed holding her, his eyes were equally starved. They roamed over every inch of her, taking her in.

“To be honest it’s quite a long story,” Rose told him. “But the walls between universes. Doctor, they’re breaking down. 

“Breaking down?”

She nodded. “I think it’s why I was finally able to find you.”

"But that must be something, something massive. I mean..." 

The cogs were spinning inside his head, possibilities being examined and rejected at an infinite rate. "Cataclysmic."

"I know."

Rose could see his mind running in a thousand different directions at once, trying to solve the puzzle. And it needed solving but right now it could wait. Rose caught his face with the palm of her hand and turned him towards her. Right now she just wanted him. That crazy man and his blue box. That was all she wanted. She’d come such a long way. 

"Doctor," she said. 

His eyes focused on hers and his lips spread in an amazing smile.

"Hello," he said. 

Rose smiled back at him. "Hello," she replied, laughter bubbling out of her mouth. 

His eyebrows drew together in a sudden frown. "How did you find me?"

"I didn't. Found the TARDIS," Rose explained, pointing at the familiar blue box behind him. 

The Doctor glanced back at his ship. TARDIS - Time And Relative Dimension In Space. His ship. But not only his ship. It had been his home since before the Great Time War. The war that had claimed his entire race and left him alone in the universe.

The Doctor looked at the amazing girl before him. She had made his life less lonely. She had made his existence not only bearable but fun. She'd saved him. He liked to think that every moment with her he'd lived to the fullest. But he knew he hadn't. Fear had always held him back. He couldn't make that mistake again. He had to make every moment with her count. How much time could he get with her? Fifty more years? Sixty? One minute? He had to make it count.

He gave her a smile. "She isn't an easy thing to track," he told her. 

Rose smiled impishly back at him, the tip of her tongue sticking out playfully between her teeth.

"It's easier if you know what to look for," she told him. 

The Doctor picked her up, clasping his hands around her waist and spinning her around. Rose gave a surprised yelp. It quickly turned into laughter before he put her back on the ground.

"You clever girl, you," he told her, his whole face filled with the unbelievable happiness filling his chest. 

Rose glanced past his shoulder. "So, who's she then?" she asked. 

The Doctor twirled around to found Martha standing there, watching at them. 

Martha gave Rose a sad little smile. "No one," she said and turned away.

The Doctor put his arm around Roses shoulders and grinned. 

"This is Martha Jones," he declared proudly. Martha stopped and glanced back at them, surprise in her eyes. The Doctor leaned down to Rose. "She saved the world," he told her. "All on her own."

"Well, not all on my own," Martha said, blushing. 

Rose left the Doctor and walked over to the pretty girl. She held out her hand.

"Nice to meet you Martha Jones," she said with a smile. "I'm Rose." 

Martha shook Rose's hand."Yeah, I kinda figured," she said. 

Rose glanced back at the Doctor who was smiling unabashedly. 

"Anyway, I should get back to my family," Martha reminded them. "I guess you two have quite a lot to talk about."

Martha Jones turned around and walked away, smiling a little to herself. There had always been that touch of fresh sorrow in the Doctor's eyes even when he'd been smiling. Martha had wanted nothing more than to wash that sorrow away. And she had tried; sometimes she even thought she had succeeded if only for a moment. But the minute he'd looked at Rose it was like the pain had never been there at all. He looked at her like he couldn't quite believe she existed but couldn't be more thankful that she did. Martha glanced back at them one more time before she disappeared inside the house.

Rose spun around and headed back to the Doctor where he stood leaning against the TARDIS. He smiled as she got closer.

"The whole world by herself?" Rose asked him, smiling back.

"Yep, the whole world," the Doctor confirmed.

"She must have been quite something," Rose said as she sidled closer to him.

"Oh, she was brilliant."

"Then why is she leaving?" Rose asked. 

The Doctor shook his shoulders as though he didn't know.  
"Other things to do," he said. "Take care of her family, finish med-school."

"She is going to be a doctor?" Rose asked in surprise. 

She was close now, inches away. The Doctor nodded in the affirmative, his gaze for a moment dropping from her eyes and slewing down her. When his eyes came back to hers she was smiling. He couldn't help but smile back.

"Oh, Rose Tyler!" he exclaimed, a big old stupid grin on his face. 

He clasped his arm around her waist and spun her, pushing opened the TARDIS door and depositing her inside. He closed the door behind them and flicked the lock.

"Did you just lock me in here?" Rose asked.

"If you think I am ever letting you out of this box ever again, you are sadly mistaken," he said with a mischievous grin. 

Rose backed up.

"Oh, and you think you can keep me here do you?" she asked, smiling that wonderful way of hers. 

The Doctor sauntered after her, hands in his trouser pockets. "Weeeell," he said, drawing the word out. "I still have a few tricks up my sleeve," he assured her. 

Rose's eyes strayed from his and roamed around the room. The amazing, familiar room. Her eyes took in everything. The coral-pillars surrounding the edges, the grated floor, the round console in the middle of the room. She ran her hand along the edge of it. Hello again, she thought to the TARDIS. Missed you. The TARDIS seemed to hum in response. Rose smiled. 

"I think she missed you too," the Doctor said. Rose turned back to him.

"Really?" she asked with a smile.

"Who wouldn't miss you, Rose Tyler," he countered. 

Rose laughed and the Doctor thought it must be one of the most wonderful sounds in the whole world.

He came up to her and stopped right in front of her. He caught her eye as he fished the sonic-screwdriver out of his pocket. He began running it over her, the blue light flickering and the familiar hum filling the room.

"What are you doing?" she asked, placing her hands on her hips.

"Making sure you are not a hallucination," the Doctor explained calmly.

"Can a hallucination do this?!" Rose asked, reaching around and pinching his arm.

"Ouch!" the Doctor exclaimed, offended. 

Rose scurried away from him before he had a chance to finish the scan. She couldn't let him finish it. She couldn't.

Rose danced around the console, staying out of his reach. The Doctor watched her.

"Oh, I missed this," she said with a sigh. "I missed this room, I missed this ship..."

"And me?" the Doctor cut in. 

Rose peaked out at him from behind the console. "And you," she confirmed with a smile. He smiled back at her. It was impossible not to. The whole world smiled when Rose smiled. 

"Sooo," he began. "The walls between universes are breaking down?" he asked. He saw her nod as she ran her fingers lightly over the switches on the console.

"They are. Don't know why." She looked up at him. "Thought I better warn ya though. Whatever's going on it's not just happening to one universe it's happening to all of them."

"Sounds bad," he replied. She nodded.

They watched each other for a moment, their joyous reunion temporarily clouded by the darkness looming from the future. But then the Doctor cleared his throat and flipped a switch on the console, the TARDIS coming to life.

"Good thing we have a time-machine then," he said with a careless smile. "Fancy a bit of running?" he asked. 

Rose smiled. "Oh yes," she replied. There was nothing in the world she wanted more.

"Allons-y!"

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·


	2. Starfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Rose discover just how powerful their feelings for each other are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> snogging. there will be snogging

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Rose laughed as she closed the TARDIS door behind them.  
"I never thought we were going to get out of there," she said. "I thought for sure she was just going to tie you up and keep you."

"I'm sure it was funnier from where you were sitting Rose Tyler! I was terrified!" the Doctor exclaimed.

Rose had to struggle to stop laughing. The queen of the Galactic Federation of Commerce and taken a shine to the Doctor and she had wanted to trade him for her rather impressive collection of life-sized porcelain figurines. 

"And you could have told her, no a bit sooner," the Doctor pointed out. 

Rose sat down on the beat-up jump-seat. She smiled at him. "I had to think it over. That was one brilliant collection she had to trade. I was tempted." 

The Doctor sat down next to her. His shoulder brushed against hers. He leaned down towards her.

"You weren't really going to trade me though were you?" he asked, sounding slightly worried.

"Oh, I dunno," Rose mused. 

He gave her a playful push. Rose just laughed. Until her laughter turned into coughing. She held up her hand to her mouth in an attempt to stifle it. 

She struggled so hard the Doctor's hands came around her shoulders. "You okay? Rose?" Actual worry in his voice. "Rose?" 

She brushed his hands away, getting it under control. "I'm fine," she told him, taking a deep breath. "Just a cough." His eyes traced her face worriedly. "I'm fine," she insisted and smiled. "I'm not made of porcelain," she pointed out. 

The Doctor gave her a glare as he let his hands fall."Cheap shot," he told her and she smiled. She nudged him with her shoulder and eventually got a smile from him. Rose jumped to her feet.

"So! Where are we going next?" she asked.

"There is just no stopping you is there," the Doctor said. "Not tired? I thought humans needed sleep," he pointed out.

"I can sleep when I'm dead," Rose said and the Doctor, just about to rise, froze for a second. He knew she was just joking but it was still a grim reminder that she would not be with him forever. The Doctor got to his feet.

"Where to then?" he asked her. Rose pondered. "How about this," the Doctor suggested. "...there is this burst of starfire just off the coast of Meta Sigmafolio. Absolutely beautiful. The whole sky lights up."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Rose asked.

The Doctor smiled and ran away around the console, pushing buttons as he went. He danced around Rose and she laughed at him, loving every precious moment. When the Doctor wasn't looking she glanced down at her hand, seeing the hint of blood glistening in her palm. She wiped it away quickly on the inside of her pocket. The Doctor came over and took her other hand.

"We're here," he said and pulled her along.

Rose stumbled after him, giggling as she went. The Doctor pulled opened the doors and Rose drew in a hiss of breath in sheer awe. 

They hadn't landed. They were moving leisurely across the sky. Everywhere around them the sky was alight. The light caught in all the colours of the rainbow, like watching oil move over water. The heavens were a glittering, shimmering cascade of starlight.

"What is it?" Rose asked, the awe clear in her voice.

"A meteorite struck an ice giant. It sent billions of ice crystals out into space," the Doctor explained. "And this galaxy has one blue dwarf star and one red. See?" The Doctor pointed the stars out in the sky. Rose nodded. "What you see is the ice crystals passing between them and reflecting the light."

"It's so beautiful," Rose breathed.

"Only once through all of time and space does this happen," the Doctor explained. "Right here, in this system. It will never happen again." 

Rose squeezed the Doctor's hand. Her quiet way of saying, thank you. The Doctor slipped his hand out of hers and snaked his arm around her waist. He pulled her against his side and she went easily, resting her head against his shoulder as though it was the most natural thing in the world.

"You promised me forever once," the Doctor said, his voice a little husky, a little hesitant. 

Rose buried her face against his shoulder, mumbling something in the affirmative. 

The Doctor took a deep breath. His hearts were beating too rapidly. "Does that still stand?" he finally managed to get out.

Rose was silent. For a long time she said nothing at all as they watched the starfire blaze across the infinite sky. Then she raised her head and looked at him. There were tears in her eyes. Her beautiful hazel eyes and for a moment he was sure both his hearts stopped. Then she reached up her hand and ran it down the side of his face. Her touch was light. So light he could barely feel it.

"You have my forever," she said. "I promise."

She said it just as easily as last time. Like it was nothing more than the simple truth. But her eyes were a different matter. They were serious, intently focused on his. The starfire sparked of her irises, reminding him of when she'd absorbed the energy of the time vortex and saved his life. 

He'd been so close to losing her then. And then he had. Lost her to a different universe. To time and space and circumstance. But now here she was. Right in front of him. Rose. His Rose.

The Doctor leaned down towards her and she rose to meet him before he could think to stop. The kiss was soft and hesitant at first, neither quite sure of being accepted. But when they both realised that neither was backing down from this moment all the walls they'd built came crumbling down.

The kiss transformed in an instant from a kindling into a blazing fire. The Doctor moved his hands around Rose's waist. He pulled her against him. He heard her moan softly against his lips and he immediately ceased the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Her hands came around his neck and ran up into his hair. Before he knew it he felt his back hit the TARDIS door. The handle dug into the small of his back and he couldn't even feel it. All he felt was her. Rose. She was everywhere around him, consuming his senses until nothing remained but her.

There was desperation to the way he kissed her, fearing it wouldn't last. That he couldn't possibly be allowed to keep something that felt this good.

Every move Rose made seemed to resonate somewhere deep inside him and in that moment he couldn't believe it had taken him this long to kiss her. He knew all the reasons. All the reasons he had told himself why he couldn't have her. All these things that now didn't seem to matter at all. Nothing mattered but this.

The Doctor pulled Rose with him as they stumbled inside, never once letting go of each other. Rose's hip hit the console. The Doctor picked her up and placed her on it and she wrapped her legs around him. Her fingers curled around his tie as she pulled him closer. They were losing themselves in each other. Having being torn apart had reminded them of the limited time they had. Everything could be gone in an instant.

The thought made their movements more desperate. Made them cling to this one moment with everything they had. Something stronger than want or need had sparked in their blood, urging them on. 

Rose pushed the lapels of his jacket apart and the Doctor let it slide off his shoulders and fall to the floor. She ran her hands across his back, clutching the material of his shirt in her fists. The Doctor practically tore off the grey hoody she wore, not able to get rid of it fast enough. He pulled her against him, needing to feel every inch of her.

Fire. Fire raging through them. They were lost. The world could have burned down around them and they never would have noticed. Rose felt something brush carefully against her mind. Something soft and tender. She realised it was him. The Doctor's mind brushed gently against hers and suddenly every touch, every caress became heightened. His tongue tangled with hers and the sensation went through her entire body like an electric charge through her blood.

The Doctor was mumbling something against Rose's lips but she had no idea what it was. Her mind could not seem to process the words. Rose was not a natural telepath like the Doctor. She had never been taught how to reach out with her mind or how to welcome another's. She moved on pure instinct, the need to be closer to him burning through every thought. Her mind seemed to be caught in a dance with his. Swirling, twining, binding. Suddenly the Doctor clasped her wrists. Hard.

"Stop," he growled, tearing his lips away from hers. "Stop..."

Rose froze.

The Doctor let her go as quickly as he’d grabbed her. He put his hands on the console instead, on either side of her hips. His head fell to her shoulder, his breathing laboured. 

"I can't." he breathed. 

Rose felt his mind retreat from hers and her blood cooled in her veins. A mere second ago she'd been burning, feeling as though her very blood was on fire. Wild and bright and now her blood ran cold. She pushed at his chest, desperate to get away from him.

"Get off," she managed to get out, humiliation and hurt colouring her voice. 

One more push and he stepped back enough for her to get down from the console. She moved away from him, feeling tears stinging the backs of her eyes. She had to get out of there. She had to get out now.

The Doctor clasped her wrist, stopping her. "Rose..." His voice sounded so fractured, so broken. 

She tore free of him. Seeing her hoody, lying discarded on the floor she swept it up. She would not look at him. Could not look at him. 

"Rose, please," he pleaded.

"No, I get it," she mumbled, wanting nothing more than to escape. To run from the humiliation. From the rejection. "You're right. I get it." 

She didn’t get it. She wasn’t sure she wanted to. The Doctor always had his reasons. She wasn’t sure she could bear to hear the one for this. So Rose hurried out of the room before he could see the tears streaming down her face.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·


	3. Do you wanna leave?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Rose spend a quiet day snuggled up together in the TARDIS library.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just a bit sweet and fluffy. They need that for what’s to come.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The Doctor was at the centre console, setting coordinates. He hadn't seen her since yesterday. After the debacle during the starfire he'd gone to her room. He had stood outside her door for hours but he hadn't dared to go in. He had just stood there, his hand raised to knock but being too much of a coward to do it. 

He rubbed his fingers across his eyes.  
What if after yesterday she wanted to leave? What if this was what made him lose her again? He felt his stomach twist into a knot and a painful pressure settled over his chest. He would never be able to bear that. Losing her again would destroy him.

The Doctor straightened, a new sense of purpose filling his chest. He had to see her. Talk to her. Explain. He pushed away from the console and headed for the corridor leading out of the control room. Halfway there he stumbled to a stop as Rose suddenly emerged.

"Rose," he released her name on an exhale. 

She was dressed casually in jeans and a simple blue top that made her hair look very blonde. She was as beautiful as ever. 

"H...how are you?" he stuttered, rubbing at his neck.

"Fine," Rose said casually, walking past him. "So where to?" she asked. 

The Doctor turned around and followed her back to the console. A memory of her sitting on that console, her legs wrapped around him, her hair messy and her lips red from his kisses flashed ruthlessly through his mind.

"Rose..." he said carefully. He touched his hand to hers and she immediately drew away.

"Somewhere nice, yeah?" she suggested, moving around the console.

"Rose, we should... talk," the Doctor said, feeling like an idiot. 

Rose shook her head. "I'd rather not," she said.

"I have to..." he began but she quickly interrupted him.

"It's fine. You don't need to explain. I'd rather we just never talk about it again," she insisted.

"Alright," he allowed, feeling not right about it at all. He pulled the screen over to where he was. "It never happened."

"Good."

"I thought maybe breakfast at the heart of the Delium belt," the Doctor suggested. 

Rose was staring at the buttons and leavers on the console, her vision swimming before her. She fought to stifle a cough but failed. The Doctor's eyes drew over to her.

"Still got that cough?" he asked. She nodded. "Are you okay?" 

He moved closer to her and she immediately drew away again. His hands fell awkwardly to his sides.

"I'm fine," Rose insisted. "It's just a cough." 

The Doctor pulled his sonic-screwdriver out of his inner pocket.

"Here let me see,' he said gently. 

Rose flicked his hand out of her face. "I'm fine," she repeated adamantly.

"Then there is no harm in letting me scan you," the Doctor pointed out. He raised the sonic again and again she flicked it away.

"Leave me alone, Doctor," she clipped out.

"Don't say it like that." 

There was genuine hurt in his eyes and she had to fight the urge to take it back.

"Say what?" she asked, trying desperately to hold on to her anger. She feared at the moment it might be all that was keeping her on her feet. Facing him after what happened had been even harder then she'd thought.

"Doctor," he clarified, mimicking her. "...like it's filthy. Like you can barely stand to have the word in your mouth."

Her eyes were hard as she looked at him and she refused to let them soften. 

He reached out his hand towards her face. "Rose."

When he spoke her name he spoke it like a prayer, softly reverently, savouring the feel of it. The exact opposite to the way she'd said his.

But Rose still drew away from him. 

"Now I'm not allowed to even touch you, is that it?" he asked, anger slowly creeping into his voice. 

Rose shook her head. "Just leave me alone," she repeated, her eyes on anything but him.

"How can I do that?" he asked, sounding as though he genuinely wanted to know. 

She looked up and glared at him. "You seemed quite capable of it last night," she told him harshly. 

The Doctor fell back a step as though he had received a physical blow. "Rose..."

"Don't," she warned. "Don't."

"If you'll let me...-" he tried again, moving towards her and she immediately drew back. Having her shy away from him was like getting punched repeatedly in the gut. It made him sick.

"I said don't," she interrupted him, holding up her hands as thought to ward him off.

"There are reasons..." he tried again. But she just shook her head.

"Of course there are!" she exclaimed. "There are always reasons. I just don't want to hear them!"

"But you have to let me explain," he insisted.

"I don't have to let you do anything!" she pointed out angrily.

"Rose, please I'm so-"

"Shut up! Just shut up!"

She turned and ran. It was all she could think to do. Running from him, from his words, from her own fear. Her fear that whatever his reasons were, hearing them would break her heart.

Rose ran through the endless halls of the TARDIS, feeling rooms and corridors shift around her until she found herself in the library. The fire in the hearth was lit and there was a steaming cup of tea on the table near the sofa, like the TARDIS had known she'd be coming. Rose ran her hands frustratingly through her hair.

"Trying to comfort me are you?" Rose called out to the room. "Well unless there is arsenic in that tea I don't think it's going to help!" 

She thought she heard the TARDIS hum sadly in response to her irrational outburst. She couldn't tell if the hum came from outside or if she heard it inside her head. Ever since the Gaming Station she'd thought she could hear the TARDIS sometimes. Or not exactly hear but feel her.

Rose stared at the steaming cup of tea waiting on the table. After a few more moments of indecision she walked over and sank down into the comfortable leather sofa. She sat there, staring at the empty air before her. She should never have come here, she thought. She should never have gone looking for him. It had been a foolish thing to do. She was such a bloody idiot.

"Do you wanna leave?"

She froze at the sound of his voice. She turned around and saw him standing there, watching her. She sighed and turned back, the fight having gone out of her. She was mostly just tired. She didn't answer him for a long time.

"No," she said eventually."I promised didn't I?"

"It was different then," he said sauntering over to her, hands in his pockets. He sat down in a worn leather chair next to her.

"That was like twelve hours ago," Rose pointed out.

"A lot can happen in twelve hours."

"Yeah," Rose agreed. "I guess it can."

"I'll take you back home. If that's what you want. If you could get here I’m sure I can get you back."

Rose shook her head, not sure what she was shaking it for. If it was no, she didn't want to leave or no, she didn't want to stay.

"I don't know," she moaned and rubbed at her tired eyes, probably ruining her makeup, but not having the strength to care.

"Well, how about this then...," the Doctor began and Rose turned to look at him. "...we don't leave this room."

"What?" she asked, nonplussed.

"For this whole day, we just stay in. No life-threatening situations, even though I know you love those," he pointed out and Rose smiled a little, unable to help herself. "We just stay here."

For some reason that idea sounded awfully tempting.

"Won't you be terribly bored?" Rose asked. 

The Doctor looked over at her through the fringes of his wonderfully messy hair.

"I could never be bored with you," he said, a serious timbre to his voice as though he was trying to tell her more than he was saying. 

Rose felt herself blush, even though she wasn't sure why. She coughed a little and straightened.

"Ok, sounds good," she agreed. She took the still steaming hot tea from the table and leaned back in the comfortable sofa. "But if you want any of this you have to get your own 'cus this is mine." 

She burrowed down contentedly with a small smile on her face and sipped her tea. The Doctor watched her for a moment before he rose and left. Presumably to get more tea.

He returned only a few minutes later carrying a tea tray laden with biscuits and scones. He put it down on the table.

"Would you look at that," Rose said with a smile. "How domestic." 

The Doctor gave her a glare and held out the basket with scones. "Only for you," he told her. 

She smiled a little and took one of the scones. They were still warm, though she had no idea how. She couldn't exactly see the Doctor standing in the kitchen and baking scones.  
Rose put plenty of marmalade and butter on it before she chugged half of it into her mouth at once. Her eyes drifted shut in rapture. Heaven, she thought. 

The Doctor was leaning back in his chair looking at her thoughtfully. "Do you have a favourite book?" he asked.

"Haven't we known each other a little too long for twenty-questions?" Rose asked as she gobbled down the last of her scone.

"I was actually just wondering because I could probably find it in here for you," he said. "But now that you mention it..." He trailed off and Rose looked up at him. "How about an answer for an answer?" he said. 

Rose had to force the scone down her throat. "You mean if you ask me something you must also answer it?" Rose asked. The Doctor nodded. 

"Alright, fine," she leaned back in the sofa and licked her fingers clean. "A little princess," Rose said. The Doctor looked comically lost for a moment. "That's my favourite book," she explained. "At least it was when I was little. I've not read it in years."

The Doctor shot to his feet. "A little princess, Frances Hodgson Burnett. Should have that one," he said and disappeared behind a bookcase.

"What about your favourite book?!" Rose called after him. His head appeared as he peaked out behind a bookcase.

"Harry Potter," he said. "Naturally."

"You're joking," Rose said.

"Something wrong with HP?" he asked, sounding affronted. 

Rose shook her head vigorously. "Oh no, just thought you would say Shakespeare or Sir George Huntington III the great writer of the twenty-third century or something."

"Who's George Huntington III?" the Doctor asked and disappeared behind the bookcases again. 

Rose sighed. "No one, but you know what I mean." 

The Doctor emerged with a dusted old book in his hands.  
"Actually, now that I think about it," he said. "I don't think I can pick just one. HP is great. Love the magic and mystery of it all but Charles Dickens he was brilliant, Shakespeare too now that you mentioned him. And Agatha Christi!" he exclaimed in delight as he flopped down on the sofa next to her. "You know I met Shakespeare," he said.

"Of course you did." Rose rolled her eyes at him, but she doubted that he saw it.

"With Martha," the Doctor said thoughtfully.

"Right."

The Doctor turned to her. "Oh, you would have loved him Rose," he said, a big smile spreading across his face.

"Well, I wasn't there," Rose pointed out, unable to mask the hint of bitterness in her tone.

The Doctor cleared his throat, breaking the awkward silence that followed her words. He opened up the book. Its pages were dusted and old but beautiful. It was a truly magnificent edition, with gold lettering on the spine and detailed illustrations inside.

"So you and Martha..." Rose began but the Doctor immediately cut her off.

"No," he said. He glanced up at her. "No one. Not since..." he trailed off not quite able to finish the sentence. Not since you. "What about you?" he asked carefully. She didn't answer right away. "An answer for an answer," the Doctor reminded her. 

Rose took a deep breath. "I tried, with Mickey but..." She took another strengthening breath. "...I couldn't," she finished. The Doctor didn't comment as he turned back to the book.

"Alright," he said. "A little princess," the Doctor began. "Chapter one..."

"Hold on," Rose stopped him. "Are you going to read it to me?" she asked. "The whole thing?"

"Unless you object," the Doctor told her, raising his eyebrows in question. 

Rose shook her head. "No," she said.

Rose settled back in the sofa with her tea and listened to the Doctor as he read one of her favourite childhood stories. Before long he had her laughing at the funny bits and tearing up at the sad ones. When she'd finished her tea she put the cup back on the table and flung her legs across his lap. He rested the book on her knees casually as though they'd done it a thousand times.

There had been some down time through the years but he had always been so careful. Because it was the quiet moments that were the hardest. In the heat of adrenaline and running it was easy to clasp her hand or pull her into his arms without it having to mean anymore than that he was simply happy to have her with him. But in the quiet moments he'd found it too difficult to keep that last line of defence up. And he'd had to keep it up.

The Doctor glanced over at her as she laughed at a passage he'd just read. It would be okay, he thought. When she had run away from him he'd feared he would never be the cause of her smiles again. But they would be alright. They had to be. Because he knew now that a life without Rose was only half a life and he couldn't go back to that. Not now. Not ever.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·


	4. If I dream of hell...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor will be faced with his greatest fear. That he might lose Rose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here cometh the angst

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Rose smiled dreamily as the Doctor finished the story. She was lying with her head in his lap. She didn't know how long they'd been in the library. The whole day for sure. It was tricky measuring time in the TARDIS. She knew the Doctor could tell it down to a minute but that was a skill she did not possess.

"Oh, I do love a good happy ending," Rose smiled.

"I usually don't read to the end," the Doctor said as he closed the book and removed his glasses.

"Why not?" Rose asked. He shook his shoulders.

"Dunno, just like to think the story goes on," he said.

"Forever."

"Yeah."

"Like you."

"I won't go on forever," he remarked thoughtfully after a while. "My day will come, eventually." 

Rose turned her face to the side, away from him. "Yeah," she agreed. "When all the rest of us are long since ashes." 

The Doctor brushed a lock of her hair out of her face, his fingers lingering a moment at her temple. She didn't shy away from him this time but she squeezed her eyes shut for a second as though she was in pain.

"If I could keep you with me until then I would," he said. 

Rose sat up hastily. Shaking her head. "Don't say things like that," she said, her back to him.

"Why not?" he asked, baffled. He'd told her the simple truth.

"Because it's a lie," she said. "You leave us behind. You always do. I shouldn't have come back."

The Doctor clasped her arm and turned her around to face him. "Don't say that," he told her, steel in his voice. "Don't ever say that. I don't care how much it will hurt when you..." he trailed off, unable to finish the sentence. "Every moment with you will be worth it. Do you understand?" he said instead, his eyes insistent. 

Rose hesitated then reached up her hand and ran her knuckles down the side of his face. He closed his eyes, sighing contentedly.

"You think you'll watch me wither. That's what you're afraid of. That's why you leave us all behind," she said sadly. "But you won't." 

His eyes flipped opened and he stared at her. She should tell him, she thought. But then immediately discarded the notion. No, he couldn't know. He must never know. 

"This life," she said instead. "I'll die young, don't you worry." 

The Doctor clasped her hand. Hard. Anger flared in his eyes. "Don't you get it?" he said. "Losing you made me realise. There is nothing worse... Nothing that compares too..." He was clearly struggling. "If I dream of hell..." he said. "...it is a world without you."

Rose stared at him. She felt a bit lightheaded. She’d never heard him talk like that and after he’d spurned her yesterday she certainly didn’t ever expect to

"I don't understand," she said in a small voice. "Yesterday..." she began but he shook his head.

"I can't be that for you," he said. "I just can't and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Rose." his gaze fell from hers, landing on her hand that he still clasped tightly. "I wish things were different. But I can't. Not that. Not with you."

Rose had been right. There it was. His reason why they couldn't be together. And it broke her. Broke her heart to hear it spoken out loud. Not that. Not with her. Someone else perhaps, but not her. She gasped in a lungful of air, feeling as though none of it actually reached her lungs. Suddenly she was gasping, desperately. Then came the coughing. She pulled her hand out of his and put it to her mouth, trying to stifle the coughs. She rose to her feet, the Doctor rose with her. His hands came around her shoulders.

"Rose, something's wrong this isn't...-"

"I'm ok," she cut him off, wiggling out of his hold. "Really, this cold is just persistent." 

She turned away from him. More coughing. She felt it as the blood hit her palm, the coppery taste in her mouth. She clenched her hand into a fist and hurried away from him.

"Rose!" he called after her.

But she didn't answer. She rushed out of the library, hurrying down the corridors until she got to her room. She pushed opened the door and stumbled into the bathroom.

Another coughing fit overtook her. Rose stared at her palm and the tell tale crimson stain. It seemed startlingly red against her pale skin. She spit the blood out of her mouth into the sink, turning the water on and washing away the evidence. 

Slowly she got the coughing under control. She washed her hands and caught her reflection in the mirror. She was pale but forced a smile to her lips because he couldn't know. The Doctor couldn't know.

She stepped out of the bathroom and started as she found him waiting for her outside. His face was hard.

"Are you going to tell me?" he asked her, his voice dark. 

Rose gave him a tremulous smile. "What you mean?" Rose asked back. 

He took a step closer to her. "Something's wrong," he insisted. "Tell me what it is."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Stop lying to me, Rose," he warned.

"I'm not lying. I'm fine."

"Fine uh?" 

He took another step closer to her. She held her ground. He clasped her chin in his hand. His finger brushed against her lips, sending a shiver down her spine.

"You missed a spot," he said. 

He held the finger up for her to see. There was the faintest hint of blood, evidence of her lies.  
Rose turned away from him but he clasped her wrist stopping her.

"You never really told me how you got here," he pressed. "You don't talk about your family and I didn't push because I thought you would tell me when you were ready." His grip on her tightened. "You owe me an explanation Rose." 

She tore free of his hold. "It's nothing." 

She walked past him, heading for the door. But then he was in front of her. Rose stumbled to a stop. She backed away. He followed her. Stalking her until her back hit the wall and there were simply nowhere else to run. Darkness moved in his eyes. Fury rising to the surface. 

The sonic- screwdriver was suddenly in his hand. He flicked it on, shining the light in her face. Rose clasped his hand, trying to stop him.

"Stop," she begged. "Just don't. Please." 

There was a snarl to his lips. He was angry with her. He moved closer.

"You are going to let me scan you," he told her. 

Rose shook her head, her eyes fixed on his. "No point," she said.

"And why is that?"

Rose took a shuddering breath. She looked up into his dark eyes, feeling her own well up with pain. She had never wanted to hurt him.

"Because..." she trailed off, finding it impossible to tell him. How could she explain that she'd only come back to hurt him? That what she'd done had been the most selfish thing she had ever done in her whole life. She could have stopped. Even stayed on that alternate world and he could have been blissfully ignorant of her fate. But when she had finally found him again she had gone without thinking. She had never stopped to consider what this would do to him.

_If I dream of hell it is a world without you_

"Because..." she tried again. "...I'm dying."

His hand dropped, the screwdriver falling out of his limp fingers.

"I'm dying," she repeated.

The Doctor stumbled back a step. "No," he breathed, shaking his head in mindless denial. "You can't be."

Tears were beginning to spill down Rose's cheeks when she saw the agony swirling in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," she whispered so quietly she doubted he heard her.

"What happened?" he asked, refusing to look at her.

Rose leaned back against the wall, finding she did not have the strength to hold herself up.

“We built something,” she began.

“Built what?”

“It was like this sort of, Dimension canon. We couldn’t get it to work until the walls began to come down. But you were harder to find than I thought and with every jump there was radiation. It...”

“Of course there was, Rose! You’re not supposed to travel between worlds.”

“We did,” Rose refuted. “And I thought I could...”

“Rose, I had to burn up a sun just to send a projection through. Just so I could say goodbye to you.”

“Yeah well, I wasn’t ready to accept a goodbye from you! I couldn’t.” 

The Doctor ran his fingers through his hair, clutching at the strands. His gaze caught on Rose’s face, the tears streaming down her cheeks. He reached his hand out towards her only to curl his fingers into a fist. He let the hand drop.

“You’re dying because you tried to get to me...”

“It got bad,” Rose said. She leaned her head back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling. "I wasn't going to come here. I wasn’t, but... I just wanted to see it all again... before..." she trailed off.

The Doctor was suddenly in front of her. He clasped her arms in a vice like hold, startling her.

"You should have told me," he said. "I can fix this."

Rose shook her head sadly. "You can't. There is nothing to fix. I'm dying."

"No," he insisted. "There is a way. I'll find it. I'll find it if it is the last thing I ever do."

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·


	5. Burning down the world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor rushes through time and space in a mad dash to find a way to save Rose, willing to do anything. Even make deals with devils and demons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s all coming to a head now....

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The Doctor was relentless. They went everywhere. He took Rose to the furthest reaches of space. Even so far into the future the universe was no longer recognisable.

Word quickly spread throughout the stars of the lonely god trying to save the dying girl he loved. But there were no answers. It was over for her. Rose knew that and she knew he did too. But he didn't stop. Not for one moment. And the breakneck speed at which they were going was starting to wear on her. When she wasn't coughing up blood she was too weak to stand. And the more ill she got the faster the Doctor ran.

All Rose had wanted was one last adventure with him. But there were no spectacular new worlds, or glorious new skies. It was only the Doctor running, his focus absolute. Saving her was the only thing that seemed to matter. Which meant he hardly ever even spoke. Not having the time or perhaps the courage to so much as look at her.

Rose's dream of seeing him again had turned into a nightmare. And that was killing her faster than anything else would have.

"Let's just go," Rose pleaded, her voice frail.

The Doctor shook his head, his eyes focused on the strangely beautiful boy before him. He looked like a young boy. No more than six or seven years old. But he wasn't. His eyes had that look that the Doctor had. Ancient and timeless all at once.

"Tell me what I want to know!" the Doctor demanded. His patience with the boy was wearing thin.

"What you ask is not what you want," the boy replied, his voice sweet and melodic. He sat cross legged on a tree stump, looking curiously at them.

"How would you know what I want," the Doctor snarled.

"Please," Rose tried again. She tugged at the Doctor's arm, urging him to go. The place was scaring her. It had the moment they'd stepped out of the TARDIS. She just hadn't been able to tell why at first. Now she could.

The boy was sitting in a glade. By first glance it was a beautiful one. Green grass and flowers covering the forest floor. Towering trees overhead. But when she looked closer she could see rot in the trees that created skull like holes in the bark. Blood stained the petals of the flowers and insects crawled around the boy's filthy feet. Sinister shadows moved just out of their field of vision, snarling in the dark.

The Doctor pulled free of her hold. Rose stifled a cough and saw the Doctor's shoulders tense up at the sound.

"She understands," the boy said in his strange, sing-song voice. He nodded his head in Rose's direction. "She knows she doesn't want what you ask, Time Lord."

"I don't care," the Doctor said. 

That got the boy's attention. He regarded the Doctor with curious, purple eyes. 

"Truly?" he asked. 

The Doctor said nothing but Rose saw his hands ball into fists. 

"You don't care whether the girl wants to live or not?"

"She does."

"Have you asked her?" the boy wondered, tilting his head to the side as he regarded them.

"I don't need to. I know her," the Doctor insisted.

The boy turned his purple eyes to Rose. He gave her a smile as though they shared a secret. Rose felt her stomach twist into a knot. She didn't like that look. She didn't like anything about this. None of it. It all felt wrong.

The boy's eyes turned back to the Doctor. His smile turned vulpine. "Very well," the boy said.

The tips of his fingers were covered with bits of metal. He removed the thimble-like covering from one finger and held out his hand. His fingers were stained black.

"What is the price?" the Doctor asked.

The boy continued to smile. "You'll see. Time Lord."

The Doctor hesitated. But only for a brief moment. He took one step forwards and held out his hand. He touched the tips of his finger to the boy's.

Rose watched in horror as the boy's touch coloured the Doctor's veins black. The Doctor screamed out in sudden pain. The ink ran up his arm, up his neck and straight into his mind.

Rose gasped and lunged for him. But just like that the contact broke. The black vanished from the Doctor's veins. He fell to his knee, his breathing heavy. 

Rose clasped his shoulders. "Doctor?" There was a hint of panic in her voice. She glared up at the boy. "What did you do to him?!" she growled.

"Gave him what he asked for," the boy replied simply.

Rose turned back to the Doctor. "Are you alright?" she asked. "Doctor?"

"I'm fine." 

She helped him back to his feet. The Doctor looked at the boy, his jaw clenched tight as though steeling himself for a blow.

The boy simply smiled. "Now let's see if the whispers and prophesies are true," he said.

"What are you talking about?" Rose asked the boy. "What prophesies?"

He kept regarding them in that curious way of his. The boy's gaze shifted to Rose's. His smile widened. "If the last will sacrifice all for the sake of one."

The Doctor tensed up. Every muscle in his body went rigid. The boy's words seemed to resonate somewhere inside Rose. Like she'd heard them before but couldn't remember where. She shivered.

"How could you...?" the Doctor trailed off. He swallowed hard. If Rose didn't know better she'd say he was afraid.

"I told you you'd find out the price," the boy said.

The Doctor clasped Rose's hand in a vice like hold. "Let's go," he told her.

They made their way out of the forest and back to the TARDIS without looking back. Once inside the Doctor let Rose go.

"We need to get out of here. Now," he said. 

He hurried over to the console. The familiar whining noise signalled their departure from the Forests of the Damned. 

The Doctor had hastily explained it to her when they'd first arrived. How the whole planet had been a desert landscape and about the entity that had been banished there. But the entity hadn't died there as it should have. It had thrived. Thrived and shaped the whole planet to its liking. By the way the Doctor had spoken of it, Rose had imagined a great beast or a perhaps some dark spirit. Never had she expected it to have the shape of a child.

Rose made her way slowly over to the Doctor. She leaned against the console to help keep her on her feet. She was tired, so tired.

"What happened?" she asked him. "What did he do to you?" 

It took a while before the Doctor answered. "He showed me where we need to go."

"And where is that?"

The Doctor was silent for such a long time Rose thought he wouldn't answer her at all.

"The Oracles," he finally said.

"For when the Oracles are asked the last will sacrifice all for the sake of one."

The Doctor looked up at her, sudden fear in his eyes. It was a look she didn't see very often.

"How do you know that?" he asked, a tremor in his voice.

"The boy said..." Rose began.

"No," the Doctor cut her off. "He didn't say all of it. How do you know all of it?"

"What is it?" Rose asked instead of answering because she honestly didn't know. It was like the memory of dream. A cold, dark dream.

The Doctor ran his hands frustratingly through his hair, messing it up. "It's a prophecy," he said. "An old one."

"It scares you."

He nodded. "It does."

"Why?"

"First tell me how you knew? Where have you heard it?"

"I don't know," Rose said, shaking her head. "It's like... it's there right at the edge of my mind but I just can't..." She made a motion with her hand as though she was trying to grasp something but failed. "It makes me feel cold though. Not cold like winter but cold like... death."

The Doctor nodded without looking at her. "It should," he said. "Because it is." He drew his hands down his face. "It's the death of everything."

"Everything?” Rose felt a chill down her spine and couldn’t quite shake it off. “Since when do we believe in prophecies anyway," Rose said, afraid her words lacked conviction.

"This is different," the Doctor said.

"Different how?"

"Because I was the one that made it."

At that the room fell silent. Even though Rose had been dying for weeks, in that moment is were she felt closest to the edge of the abyss. That unknown darkness that was sure to follow her last breath.

Clasping the console she tasted blood in her mouth. "I don't understand," she said.

The Doctor took a couple of deep breaths before he answered. "When Time Lords are young," he explained. "...they are made to stare into the Untempered Schism. It's a gap in the fabric of reality. A point from where you can see the whole of the vortex." 

The Doctor still wasn't looking at Rose. But staring at something far away. "Some go mad and some..." He took a deep breath, struggling for a moment to continue. "When I did I saw those words. I saw me ending everything." His gaze shifted to hers. "It's why I've been running all my life."

"You're the last..." Rose swallowed down the bloody taste in her mouth. "...who will sacrifice all?"

"I am the last of my kind," the Doctor said. "The last of the Time Lords."

Rose felt her knees grow weak. It was getting harder and harder for her to breathe. Perhaps that feeling she'd gotten of being close to the edge wasn't just a feeling. Perhaps she was.

She tried to hold on tighter to the console but her grip was too frail, her body no longer with enough strength to keep her up.

"Doctor..."

Rose's knees folded under her. The Doctor reached for her in the same instance. Her knees hit the grated floor just as he caught her.

"Rose?" His voice shook. "Rose?" 

She coughed and her limbs went limp. His arms came around her, managing to cradle her form in his lap.

Rose looked up at him from the floor of the TARDIS. She could see the familiar ceiling behind him with the wires hanging loose and the faint green glow from the time rotor.

The Doctor was saying her name. It was a distant echo. Nothing but an echo. The world was slipping away from her. Or perhaps it was she who was slipping. It didn't seem to matter so much because he was with her. After all it was all she had wanted. Just to be with him. One last time.

"Rose...No.." the Doctor was holding her in his arms and her life was bleeding out between his fingers. Like trying to hold water in his hands. "Please, Rose..." He brushed a lock of her blonde hair out of her eyes. She was cold. So cold. "I can't go through this again. I can't... don't make me, I beg you."

Rose reached out her hand, her fingers grazing his cheek. "I can feel you this time," she whispered.

She smiled. A small, resigned smile and the Doctor thought he might scream. She couldn’t be resigned. Not to this. Not to leaving him. 

"I'm begging you Rose,” he pleaded. “Just stay with me. You promised. Do you remember that? You promised me."

Her smile turned weak and he saw the blood staining her lips. It was like all the air was ripped from his lungs. He couldn't breathe. Couldn't think.

"It's alright." 

She was saying it was alright. How could she say that? Nothing was alright. If he lost her nothing ever would be again.

The Doctor's hold on Rose tightened, desperately trying to keep the water in his hands. Her fingers brushed against his lips, reminding him of all the things they'd never done. All the things he had never told her.

He had promised himself when he'd got her back that he was going to make it count. Every moment, every second. But he hadn't. The minute he had found out she was dying he'd panicked. The fear of losing her had taken over everything. Dominating his every action. He'd even gone to the Forests of damnation. Nothing good ever came out of going there. And nothing had.

He knew where to go and going there could destroy everything. It's what he had feared most all his life. It was part of why he fought so hard to save everyone. Because maybe then he could balance out the scales. Just a little. But in the end he feared he would be the architect of more destruction than anything else.

The Doctor looked down at Rose. Her skin was pale and her lips stained red. She was dying. Rose was dying and if he couldn't even save her then what did the rest even matter?

Her fingers fell from his lips and her eyelids fluttered shut. He could feel her slipping away from him. The Doctor squeezed his eyes shut, his hands clenching into fists. Then one single word shone bright inside his mind.

No.

No. He wasn't going to lose her. Not without trying. He wasn't going to sit there and just let her life bleed out of her. 

He couldn't.

The Oracles had no real power. All they could do was give him an answer. What he chose to do with it was up to him. So he would deal with what was right in front of him. And right now that was Rose. She needed him and he needed her.

The Doctor laid Rose down gently. "Hold on," he whispered.

He got to his feet, looking at his beautiful TARDIS. "You have taken me so far," he said. "Now I just need you to take me a little further."

He made the calculations as best as they could be made. The last bit he would have to fly by hand. It might even rip the ship apart but he really hoped it wouldn't.

He would have to go far and nowhere at all at the same time. That was where the Oracles existed. "Don't let me down," he whispered and flipped the switch.

The TARDIS roared to life. He felt it as she tore off through the time vortex. He pushed her to her limits. Demanding more than he ever had before and she gave him everything she had. That ship had been his companion through it all. Everything he'd lost and all he'd sacrifice. She'd seen how Rose had put him back together after the war. And she'd witnessed his pain when he'd lost her the first time.

The Doctor knew the TARDIS understood. The sentient part of her would always fight for him.

He took over the controls, struggling to keep the ship on track. Explosions went off underneath the grate. Hold on, he thought. Sparks rained down from overhead and the TARDIS shook violently. The Doctor clung desperately to the console. His gaze flickered to Rose on the floor. Any more shaking and she'd be hurt.

Yet he had no choice. He pushed the TARDIS harder. Faster and faster they went.

Come one girl, he thought to the old ship. They broke through every barrier. Rushed on at blinding speeds.

The Doctor grabbed one of the levers. He had to wait until the exact moment. A sudden shake made him loose his grip. He was flung to the grated floor, hitting it hard. He saw Rose being tossed to the side, hitting the railing at the edge. He growled with the effort and used the console to pull himself back up. He reached for the lever. He had to pull it now. Now!

The Doctor stretched as far as he could. Finally his fingers closed around it. He pulled it down. The TARDIS made a grunting noise. More sparks rained down from above. One of the wires broke from its fastening in the ceiling. It dangled down as the ship shook again.

The Doctor ground his teeth together. Please, he thought. We can do this. The TARDIS put on a final burst of power and they tore through the vortex faster than ever before. Until finally they were not moving at all.

Everything was suddenly still. An unnatural silence settled over the room. It was like the very fabric of time froze. The Doctor scrambled over to Rose where she lay on the hard metal floor. He turned her over. She was still out. But she was breathing. For a moment he let his forehead rest against hers, gathering his strength for whatever was coming next.

He looked up, sending a silent thank you to his ship, not sure yet what damage he might have caused her. Then he reached down and picked Rose up from the floor. He slid one arm under her knees and the other behind her back and lifter her up.

"It's gonna be alright," he whispered in her ear, not sure she could hear him anymore or if she was too far gone. 

He carried her out of the TARDIS. Not hesitating as he stepped out into total blackness. 

It felt as though he walked on stone. Black, featureless stone. Hard as marble. But he knew it wasn't marble. It was the most basic of matter. That on which all else in the universe was built.

The Doctor carried Rose across the seemingly empty space. Right until he felt he should stop. Gently he laid Rose down on the floor. Despite the darkness he saw her quite clearly. She looked peaceful, he thought. If it wasn't for the hint of blood on her lips he might have thought she was sleeping. He kissed her forehead before he rose to his feet.

"The last of the Time Lords." One voice and a thousand voices echoed through the empty space. "We have been waiting and not waiting." 

It sounded as though the voices were all around him and inside his head all at the same time. 

"For both you and your wolf."

"You knew we were coming." It was a statement not a question.

"We know everything and nothing," the voices replied.

"That sounds problematic," the Doctor observed, trying to focus on the voices and not Rose dying at his feet. He had to keep his head straight. The Oracles could be tricky things.

"Philosophy of mortals is not why you are here," the voices reminded him.

"No, it isn't."

"Are you going to ask us, Time Lord? Knowing what could happen should you do?"

"Oh, I imagine the asking will do nothing," the Doctor said. "But rather what I do with the answer."

A sound like a million twinkling bells rang across the space. He realised it was laughter. The Oracles laughing.

"Clever child," the voices laughed.

"Guess I've been called worse things."

The laughter died out in an instant. 

"Your Bad Wolf is dying Time Lord make your choice." 

Clearly their patience had run out. If they even possessed such a thing.

"How do I save her?" he asked, his voice hard and determined. He had made his choice.

"You already know how to save her," the voices replied.

At that the Doctor felt anger boil up inside his chest. "What do you mean I already know?" Desperation and fear twisted inside him. "Do you honestly think I would have come all this way if I already knew?!" he screamed into the empty space.

"One question. One answer," the voices echoed ominously.

"Rose is dying and you think I already know how to stop it!" 

Fury was rising inside him. It cleared the knots in his chest. The fury of a Time Lord. He would tear this place down if he had too. Anything to get the answers he needed. He was not going to lose her. Not again, not ever again. He didn't care what it took or what he had to sacrifice. She was not going to die. 

"Tell me how I save HER!"

"You already know," the voices repeated. "Child of Gallifrey."

The Doctor felt them leaving. The empty space was suddenly just a little more empty. He would receive no more help from them. He screamed out all his fear and anguish as he fell to his knees next to her.

Child of Gallifrey. It echoed through his head. Over and over again and suddenly he understood. No. His hearts broke. Both of them.

"She's human!" he screamed even knowing he would never get an answer. "It would kill her! All that energy! It would destroy everything!"

The Doctor looked down at Rose. Pale and still. Her blonde hair was spread out around her head. She was a golden sliver in the midst of all the darkness. A light. His light.

He took her hand and raised it to his lips. "This is the choice then," he whispered. "Sacrifice all for a chance to save my one."

He looked down at her face and remembered a moment when he had been faced with a choice much like this one. In that moment he had chosen one thing. To believe in her. If he had a religion, religion to him was this girl. This one amazing human being. Stronger than anyone else he'd ever met.

Letting go of her hand the Doctor picked her up. "Rose," he urged. "Rose, open your eyes. Open your eyes, Rose."  
He brushed the back of his fingers against her cheek, sending a little spark to her mind. "Open your eyes."

Her eyes fluttered open, her eyelashes delicate like the wings of a butterfly.

"Rose." 

Her eyes drifted closed again. He put his forehead against hers, his arm all that was holding her up, her body limp. 

"Trust me," he whispered. "Trust me." 

Then he put his lips to hers.

He had dreamed of this. It would be a lie to say he hadn't. A thousand lonely nights he had dreamed of her. Holding her. Allowing himself to love her. Just as he wanted. Without fear. Without restraints. Without the repercussions of a universe that had put her in his path only to tear her away. This was everything he'd dreamed in the shape of a nightmare. He loved her. Loved her with the power of a thousand dying stars. And now he had her. Right in his arms and every brush of his fingers against her skin was tainted. Tainted by the knowledge that the love he felt for her would most likely burn her and everything else with it.

"Please," he whispered against her lips and kissed her again.

Rose stirred. "Doctor," she mumbled.

He put his mouth near her ear and told her his name. His true name. The one he was given not the one he chose. No one alive but him knew it anymore save her. She would know it. She deserved to know it. He wanted her to. Even if their lives were snuffed out in a moment. Rose would know his name.

The Doctor's lips found hers again, urging her to kiss him back.

"What are you doing?" Rose mumbled.

He reached his mind out to hers. Letting it envelope her and coaxing her to do the same.

"Rose, trust me," he whispered. "Just trust me."

He kissed her again, letting his mind caress hers until her lips responded to the pressure of his. 

He had a fleeting touch of guilt, knowing she wasn't quite aware of what was happening and certainly not what it would mean in the end. But he pushed the feeling back and focused solely on the girl in his arms. This one thing that was more important than truth or honour.

He held her closer to him, kissing her as though he'd been starving because he had. He had missed her before he even knew her name. This was always were they were going to end up. Burning together and burning the world with them.

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	6. Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor is faced with the consequences of what he’s done and what it means for both him and Rose.

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Oh, my bloody head, was the first thought that ran through Rose's mind. She opened her eyes. She was staring up at the ceiling in the TARDIS. She moaned as she moved, her body objecting to the hard metal floor she was lying on. It gave her a strange feeling of deja-vu instantly followed by horror. Last time she had woken up on that floor the Doctor had ended up changing, regenerating. She shot up to her feet, twirling around, searching for him. She found him leaning against a pillar, watching her. She felt a wave of relief as she saw that familiar face.

"You're alright," she breathed with obvious relief. 

He straightened slowely. "Are you?" he asked, his eyes weary.

"I think so," Rose said. 

She looked herself over. She seemed to be intact. No limbs missing, head still on her shoulders. The Doctor walked up to her slowly.

"Do you remember what happened?" he asked, a sliver of fear in his eyes that made her pause. 

She remember standing right where she was standing now. She had felt faint. They had been talking about something.

"I don't...Did I pass out?" she asked. 

The Doctor reached out his hand as though he was going to touch her but his fingers merely hovered inches away from her face. Somehow Rose thought she could still feel his touch even though he didn't actually touch her. A shiver ran down her spine.

"You don't remember." It sounded like half a statement and half an accusation. 

Rose shook her head. That sliver of fear in his eyes turned to pain. She caught just a hint of it before he turned away.

"What happened?" she asked, chasing after him around the TARDIS. "I don't feel sick anymore. What did you do?" 

He flipped a couple of switches on the console. "Fixed you o'course," he told her and gave her a confident smile, every shred of pain she'd seen gone. "Don't tell me you ever doubted me?" 

She gave him a hesitant smile back. "But how?" she asked.

"Oh, it was nothing," he brushed the question off. "Just a bunch of technical mumbo jumpo, timey whimey stuff." 

She regarded him suspiciously. "Alright," she allowed reluctantly, not helping but feeling slightly put out. She hated when he didn't even try to explain something. "So I'm fine? Just like that?"

"Fit as a fiddle," he confirmed. He took another lap around the TARDIS, flipping switches as he went. "So, anywhere special you wanna go?" he asked. 

She was silent for a long time, until finally she said, "Home."

He stopped. "Home..." he trailed off, not turning to face her.

"Yeah, my family you see they think...When I left they..."

"They thought you weren't coming back," he finished for her.

"I don't know if we can still get through. Could you check...I..."

"Yes, of course."

After extensive testing the Doctor deemed it safe enough to travel through without any serious repercussions. She could tell the reason for the walls having been weakened troubled him. Something massive, he'd said. It would take something massive to weaken the walls. 

They used the TARDIS to get through. Rose looked up at the Doctor as the TARDIS quieted down.

"Are we there?" she asked. 

He nodded. She turned around and rushed out. He had parked the TARDIS inside her room at her parents' house. The grand house Pete owned. The father she had lost as a child and had in a way gotten back. Just then the door to her room burst opened and her mum stormed in. For a moment she just stood there, staring from the TARDIS to her and back again.

"I thought I heard..," she breathed in utter disbelief. "How?" 

Rose threw herself into her mother's arms. "I'm alright mum," she said. "He fixed me."

"He fixed you? The Doctor fixed you? How?" 

Rose pulled away, a big smile on her face. "Does it matter? I'm here I'm fine. Where's Pete? And Mickey? I've got to..."

"Slow down, Rose," Jackie urged. "Pete is at Torchwood working and so is Mickey."

"Then I'll just go there I'll..."

"Your mother's right, Rose. You need to slow down." The Doctor emerged from the TARDIS. 

Jackie looked over at him. "You saved my daughter," she said. The Doctor swallowed audibly. He gave a slight nod. 

"Thank you." All her gratitude shone out of her tear rimmed eyes. "Thank you so much." 

He nodded in acknowledgement. 

"How about a cuppa?" Jackie exclaimed with predictable delight, wiping the tears away. She hurried out of the room.  
Rose was about to follow when the Doctor clasped her hand, stopping her. Rose felt a tingle like electricity run up her arm from where he touched her. She gasped in surprise.

"You can feel that?" the Doctor asked. 

He ran his thumb experimentally back and forth across the heel of her hand. The sensation was dizzying. Euphoric.

"How are you doing that?" 

Rose's eyes drifted shut. She was losing herself in the sensation of his touch when something flashed by behind her eyes. A dark room. Hands against her skin. Lips against hers. Abruptly the Doctor let her go. Her eyes flipped opened and it took her a moment to regain her equilibrium. 

"What was that?" she asked, utterly confused. 

The Doctor walked past her. "Come on," he said. "Time for tea."

Rose shook her head in an attempt to clear it. She ran her hand up her arm, feeling the fading imprint of another's hands. She struggled to clear the image of that dark room but it was slipping away from her like mist. Morning light chasing away a dream. Is that what it had been? A dream?

Instead of focusing her mind Rose let her mind go. Let it wander where it may in the hope that it would find its way back to that room. But that is not where her mind went.  
It went everywhere. Everywhere at once. 

Rose gasped as images old and new and never lived assailed her. A thousands different possibilities to a thousand different choices. She lost her balance and fell to her knees as though the floor beneath her had shifted. She opened her eyes and stared at her hands. Light was moving beneath her skin. Golden, dusted light. 

She squeezed her hands tightly into fists. She had to keep it in. Instinctively she knew she had to keep it in. But she couldn't. It was all too much. The world was spinning, turning, rushing at a blinding speed through the galaxy. Unbelievable pain pierced through her head and she screamed.

The Doctor twirled around as he felt Rose go down. He ran back up the stairs and crashed into her room to find her on the floor, writhing in agony. 

No, no, no. 

He rushed over, falling to his knees next to her. He pulled her into his lap. She was shaking. Her body was going into shock. He brushed her blonde hair out of her face, touching her skin wherever he could. He marvelled as the golden light reacted instantly to the touch of his fingers.

"It's okay," he whispered. "I'm here." He ran his hand down the length of her arm. The smoothness of her skin sent memories sparking to brutal life. Memories that now hurt. He pushed them away and clasped her hand. "Feel me, Rose," he told her. "Feel me."

The bond that had been forged between the Doctor's mind and Rose's flared to life as he touched her. He entwined his fingers with hers, holding on to her. 

"Feel me," he begged.

Slowly her body stopped shaking. The light dimmed and finally disappeared, the energy inside her finding focus.

The pain in Rose's head receded to a dull hum. She opened her eyes and stared into the Doctor's. Feel me, he was saying. So she focused on the points where he touched her. His fingers laced with hers, his other hand at her waist, just brushing the skin between her shirt and her jeans. The pain drew back further. The images that had assailed her faded and finally the earth stopped spinning. 

Rose breathed out a sigh of relief. The Doctor's forehead fell against hers. He was mumbling something she couldn't make out.

"What happened?" Rose croaked out, shocked and weak. Only then did she hear what the Doctor was mumbling.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." 

He kissed her forehead and kept repeating those words over and over.

Rose's chest filled up with sudden fear, a memory of having no control over power greater than she could comprehend tore its way through her mind. She struggled out of the Doctor's hold, needing to be away from him for a second to gather her wits. But the moment she got back on her feet her knees crumbled under her and pain lashed through her head. 

Rose screamed out as she fell to her knees, clutching her head in agony. Then the Doctor was there, his fingers brushing against her cheeks. It made her vision less hazy but it didn't dull the pain right away. Rose whimpered and the Doctor told her he was sorry one more time before he kissed her.

She froze in surprise. He drew away but an inch.

"You have to kiss me back, Rose," he whispered against her lips. "Please." And she did.

The pain in her head blew away as though it had never been there at all. Electricity rushed along her nerves, setting her blood aflame. It felt like it had when his mind had brushed against hers during the starfire but a hundred times stronger.

Rose threw her arms around the Doctor's neck, clutching the lapels of his suit in a desperate attempt to find some purchase in the storm. She pressed her lips to his, euphoria singing in her veins. His hands were at her back, holding her fiercely against him. It was a whirlwind, a tempest and she never wanted it to end.

Images were flashing through her mind. Images of them together. Like this and yet not like this. That dark room, between time. His hands roving over her, his lips caressing their way down her neck, his voice in her ear begging her to trust him. 

Then his hands were in her hair, cupping her skull and getting his fingers tangled in the golden tresses. It was more than she'd dreamed. It was all consuming on a level she could never have imagined. Everything began and ended with this.

Suddenly the Doctor pulled away. It was like being ripped apart. Rose nearly screamed with the agony of it. She tried to pull him back but he shook his head, holding her away from him.

"Stop for a moment," he said.

"Doctor..."

"No, Rose just for a moment. Stop and think." 

He wasn't looking at her. His head was hanging from his shoulders, his breathing laboured. He was shaking his head, clearly struggling for control. But Rose didn't want control. She wanted him. She ran her hands up his chest and over his shoulders, trying to get him back. He ceased her hands and removed them instantly. 

"Just stop," he growled.

"Doctor." 

She struggled to get her hands free. His head flipped up and his eyes met hers. Fire burned in them. Fire of anger as much as passion but that was not what upset her. Behind that was a pit of self-loathing.

Rose drew back. She pulled her hands out of his. The euphoria was swiftly leaving her veins. Reason returned to her mind. She drew away from him, stumbling back up on her feet.

"What did you do?" 

She stared down at him, fear lacing her voice. He let his head fall into his hands, his shoulders slumping with hopelessness. 

"What did you do?!" she screamed, not caring if her mother heard her. "Tell me what you did! Or I swear...!"

"I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that!" 

The world was beginning to spin again and her head was starting to pound. She pressed the palm of her hand to her forehead, trying to will it to stop. In a moment the Doctor was on his feet in front of her. She took a step back. 

"Don't touch me," she told him.

"Rose..."

Just then her mother came into the room. "What are you shouting about the pair of you? You'll wake the whole bloody street."

Rose took another step back.

"Rose, just listen to me," the Doctor pleaded. 

But Rose just shook her head as the pain slowly got worse. 

"Take my hand." 

She glanced down and saw his hand held out towards her. But she didn't dare to touch it. What if she got lost like that again? 

"Rose, please. I'll explain. I promise. Just take my hand." 

She looked up at him, meeting his beautiful dark eyes. Trust me, they said. Trust me. And what else could she do? She had made her choice three years ago when she had decided to go with him. There never had been any turning back. 

So Rose closed her eyes and took the Doctor's hand. Her skin tingled in response to his, the link reaffirming itself and the headache receding.

The Doctor pulled her with him. She could hear him telling her mother some excuse as to why they had to go. She heard enough to know it was a lie.

The minute Rose stepped into the TARDIS the headache disappeared altogether. She blinked her eyes opened, feeling the Doctor's hand slip out of hers as he walked over to the console. 

For a moment he stood there as Rose watched the rise and fall of his shoulders with each uneven breath. Then he turned around. Folding his arms across his chest he leaned back, watching her as though from a great distance. She expected him to say something. But he just stood there, looking at her.

"Why did the headache go away when I stepped inside the TARDIS?" Rose asked, thinking that if she had to she would force the answers out if him.

"My guess would be proximity to the Time-vortex," the Doctor replied in an even tone. "It... levels you out." 

Rose wandered along the edge of the room, feeling the need to be in motion. But she stayed out of reach, never close enough for him to touch her. She ran her hand down one of the pillars. It felt different somehow. Alive in a way it hadn't before.

"What did you do to me?" she asked. "I thought you said I was fine."

"You are," he replied.

"But something's different," Rose pointed out. "You did something."

"Yes."

"What?"

The Doctor took a deep breath, looking like he was steeling himself for a blow.

"Jumping between universes like you did. Your body couldn’t take the strain. It was breaking down on a cellular level so I... I stopped it. Replaced what had been broken," he said.

“Replaced?”

“Yes.”

"How?"

"It's complicated," he answered, rubbing his forehead. 

Rose continued to wander around the room, making sure to keep distance between them.

"Try me," she said.

"Rose..." he trailed off. 

There was hopelessness in his posture and tiredness in the set of his shoulders.

"With what then?" 

She decided to leave that question for now, thinking it was better to lead with the answers he would readily give. The Doctor looked up, his eyes tracking her. 

"You must have replaced it with something, yeah?" she pointed out.

"Yes."

“What?” 

“Rose, you have to understand I had no other choice.”

“Tell me what you did,” she demanded.

“That kind of cellular degeneration it couldn’t be fixed so I replaced them with new cells instead.” 

"New cells?"

"Yes."

"Human cells?"

"No."

Rose felt a shiver run over her skin. Not human. "Alien."

"Yes."

She feared to ask it but she did anyway, she was nothing if not brave.

"Who's?"

He paused before he answered this time. "Mine," he said. 

Rose clasped the railing to steady herself, feeling like she had just received a punch in the gut.

"I'm not...human anymore..."

"Of course you're human," he immediately refuted.

"Human but with..." she trailed off, unable to finish.

"...a certain amount of Time Lord DNA, yes," he finished for her.

She clasped the railing so tight her knuckles were turning white. She felt like she was going to throw up.

"Why can't I remember anything?" 

Rose struggled to get the words out past the sickening feeling in her throat. Maybe if she could remember what happened she wouldn't feel so violated. Because at that moment it is exactly how she felt. He had done something to her. Something that fundamentally changed her. Had he even bothered to ask if that was what she wanted?

"Do you remember when you absorbed the energy of the Time-vortex?" he asked. 

She shook her head. "You know I don't."

"Same thing."

Rose forced herself to straighten, looking over at him. The Doctor was still standing at the exact same spot, his eyes watching her, his face unreadable.

"Why do I feel dizzy when you touch me?" she asked.

"Is that what you feel?"

"Yes." And a thousand other things she wasn't ready to tell him about. 

He sighed as though it took him effort to try and explain this all to her. But she didn't care if it inconvenienced him. He owed her.

"I'm guessing a low-level connection was formed. That’s all."

"You're lying." 

His half-truths were still hard to spot but outright lies she could discern from miles away.

His eyes narrowed on her. "So are you," he countered.

She glared at him."Fine," she said through gritted teeth. "When you touch me I feel like there's electricity running through my blood. It's... I can't explain it...It's blissful but terrifying at the same time...kinda like dying I think." That got his attention. She curled an errant lock behind her ear. "You feel that too?" she asked. 

His gaze fell to the floor and he shuffled something unseen with his shoe.

"Yes," he finally answered but without looking at her. "I feel that too."

"Tell me why?"

"It couldn't be helped." He still wouldn't look at her. "It was the only way it was going to work."

"What was?" she pushed. 

His eyes snapped up to hers. "Keeping you alive," he ground out as though he thought that above all else should be obvious. 

Rose sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. They were both silent for a long time. She had to know what he'd done. She had to understand or she might never be able to forgive him. But he didn't seem interested in making her understand. Every answer he gave was evasive, inconclusive. It was like he didn't want her to know.

She bit her bottom lip, trying to gather the courage to ask him the next thing.

"When..." she began but trailed off. She took a deep breath and tried again. "When you touched me... When we..." God, why was this so hard? She leaned her head back, gazing up at the ceiling. "I saw something." The room was silent for a long time as Rose struggled to continue.

"What?" the Doctor asked. 

She closed her eyes, trying to see it clearly in her mind. But like before the images were slipping away like mist.

"A dark room..." she began. "And you... you told me to trust you. Was that real? Or was that a dream? That dark room, did that happen?"

"Is that all you saw?" he asked, sounding a little worried. 

It wasn't. She also remembered feeling him against her, his lips against her skin. But she couldn't tell him that. She felt herself blushing, hoping the dim lighting in the room kept him from seeing it.

"Yes," she said. 

He regarded her a moment. She could feel his eyes on her but she kept hers on the ceiling.

"I did ask you to trust me," he finally said.

"And I did," she replied. "Didn't I? Blindingly."

"Yes."

Rose felt tears falling down her cheeks. She felt betrayed, so horribly betrayed. She couldn't help it.

"Did you even tell me what would happen?"

"No." 

A brokenhearted sob escaped her lips at his simple denial. 

He straightened, turning to her. "There wasn't time," he insisted, a hint of desperation in his voice now. "You were dying..." 

She nodded that she understood, her eyes still on the ceiling and her heart breaking into a milling razor sharp pieces that hurt with every breath she took.

The Doctor was in front of her. She could feel him. He reached out his hand. Rose shifted her gaze to his, her eyes turning hard.

"Don’t you dare touch me." 

She saw the hurt in his eyes but forced herself to ignore it. What he'd done could have numerous untold consequences and he had never even bothered to ask her if that was something she was prepared to live with. 

She thought that she had been beyond selfish when she had come to see him, knowing she was going to die. But this was worse. What kind of life had the Doctor condemned her to just so she would live?

Rose slipped past him, drawing away. She rubbed her arms, feeling suddenly cold.

"What is going to happened to me?" she asked, her voice not quite steady.

"I don't know," he sighed. "I don't know if anything like this has ever happened before."

"So you had no idea what it would do to me? What it might turn me into and you did it anyway?!" She twirled around, screaming at him.

"I had no choice!" he screamed back. "You would have died!"

"Then I would have died! I am human, Doctor! I am supposed to die!" 

It felt like she was trying to pound the words into his skull, yet he was hearing none of it.

"I wasn't ready!" 

He ran shaking fingers through his hair again. He was messing it up every time and every time she noticed. Because she liked his hair messy. She had loved him for so long and now all that love was turning to ash.

He took a step towards her. "I couldn't lose you." His voice shook. "Not again. I couldn't."

"You selfish bastard," Rose said, a part of her regretting the words immediately after they'd left her mouth. 

The vulnerability disappeared out of his eyes. "Yes," he said. "I was selfish. This one time! I spend my life saving people. Saving entire worlds but this one time I thought to hell with it! If I couldn't keep the girl I lo... " He trailed off, struggling to get the words out. "If I couldn't keep you than none of the rest mattered."

"Not even me?" she asked. "That damned boy in the forest he was right wasn't he? That's why you never asked me what I wanted. Because you knew I'd never want this but you didn't care."

"That is not true!" He pointed his finger at her for emphasis. "You want to live. I know you do."

"Not like this!" she insisted. "Like some ticking time bomb!"

"We don't know what will happen. You could be fine."

"Like I was out there?" Rose pointed towards the TARDIS doors. "When it felt like every molecule in my body was screaming?! Is that your idea of fine?!"

"That we can fix," the Doctor began. 

Rose threw up her hands in a show of exasperation. He wasn't listening to her. 

"With practice," he was saying.

"Practice?" Rose snarled.

"Yes!" he insisted. "You just have to learn to control it."

"Control what? I don't even know what it is!"

The Doctor took a step closer to her. "Can you describe it?" he asked. 

Rose rubbed her arms and shook her head, struggling to calm her racing heart.

"I don't know," she cried. "I can't..." She took a deep breath and tried again. "It was like I could see everything at once, I think. It's hazy."

"That is your mind protecting itself," the Doctor explained.  
"Suppressing what it can't safely comprehend."

"What do you mean?"

"What you saw. It's what I see, all the time. All that was, all that is, all that ever could be."

Rose felt the pieces click into place, remembering how it had felt like the world was moving beneath her feet. She recalled the first time she'd ever met the Doctor when he had tried to explain what he was. I can feel the turn of the Earth, he'd said. That's what she'd felt. What he felt. It was what had overloaded her brain. She was human after all.

"Your body wasn't meant to withstand that." He confirmed her thoughts as though he had read her mind. 

She glared suspiciously over at him. "Can you read my mind right now?" she asked. 

He shook his head, clearly thinking that idea preposterous.

"No, I can't read your mind not if you don't let me. But I can..."

"Can what?"

"I can feel what you feel to a certain extent if the emotion is strong enough. Like when you collapsed. I could feel that you were in pain."

Rose was shaking her head again. This was all too much. She couldn't take it all in. She needed a break. She walked around the centre console, staying as far away from the Doctor as she could and headed for the door.

"You can't go out there," he said from behind her. 

She stopped with her hand on the door knob. "Same thing will happen again."

"So I'm trapped in here," Rose concluded.

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't you ever say that to me again," Rose warned. "Ever."

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	7. Who is the big bad wolf?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose takes off for Torchwood and leaving the Doctor behind. But when she gets there, there are not friendly faces that greet her.

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"Just try to concentrate," the Doctor told her.

Rose struggled to do as he asked but it wasn't easy. They were sitting in her room, on her bed, cross legged and facing each other. The Doctor was holding her hands. Even though she hated having to touch him. It made her feel powerless, a slave to the need to be close to him. It should be a choice, shouldn't it? Not a necessity.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

Rose nodded. She breathed slowly in and out, focusing her mind to one single thought. In this instant it was the stuffed teddy bear in her lap.

The Doctor pulled his hands out of hers. Rose pictured the teddy bear perfectly in her mind, concentrating on even the smallest detail. She began to feel her mind pulling away, wanting to go everywhere. 

An image flashed by. A city. An alien city. Beautiful amongst snow-topped hills and valleys of red grass. It shone like gold in the light of two suns. Another image overtook the first. The city burning, hundreds of millions of people screaming. Then nothing but silence. 

Rose felt her head starting to pound. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut, trying desperately to focus back on the image of the teddy bear. Then she saw the Doctor, standing apart from it all, watching as the world burned. Suddenly she was the one that was burning. Her world. Her family. Turning to dust.

Rose screamed the Doctor's name. Reaching out through the flames, calling him. But he stood and watched as the flames consumed her.

"Rose!"

She opened her eyes and first then did she notice the tight grip the Doctor had on her wrists. Electricity seemed to radiate from the spot where he touched her. It cleared her mind of the horrid images. She blinked a couple of times until her eyes focused on him. She tried to pull free but the Doctor held her fast, keeping the connection to him alive.

"I'm fine," she insisted.

"Never heard you scream like that," he said.

"I screamed?"

He nodded, his eyes on their hands. "We have to find a better way to do this." He sighed.

Rose shook her head. "No, this was your idea. We keep going."

Rose took the teddy bear and put it away. Instead she retrieved a photo she had sitting on her nightstand. An old yellowed photo of her mum and dad. She put that in her lap instead. Rose stared at the picture until every aspect of it was memorised. She closed her eyes and pulled her hand out of the Doctor's.

She was able to hold on a little longer the second time. But then images started flooding her mind. Past, present and future. All jumbled together. She wouldn't have been able to understand it even if her mind wasn't screaming in agony.

And so it went for days. Slowly, trudging forwards. Before Rose managed to build a barrier in her mind. Thin but holding. Allowing her to lock a part of herself away. The part that wasn't really her anymore. The part that was him. The part that was dangerous.

Sitting on her bed Rose did a form of meditation the Doctor insisted on. It was supposed to strengthen her mind. Give her more control. But if that was the case Rose was pretty sure she was doing it wrong.

Her phone buzzed, breaking her concentration. She checked it. Text message with the caller id blocked which meant Torchwood. She read the short missive and tucked the phone into her pocket. Getting to her feet she found the Doctor sitting in a chair by the window watching her. He was always watching her. Treating her more like a nuclear bomb about to explode than an actual human being.

Rose past him and went to her wardrobe, picking out a black leather jacket she was fond of. She drew it on and flicked her hair free of the collar.

"Where are you going?" the Doctor asked, his tone dark.

Rose chose not to reply. She was bloody sick of him hovering about all the time. She left the room. The Doctor  
caught up with her on the stairs.

"Rose," he called after her.

She hurried away, making her way to the front door, pretending she couldn't hear him. Rose let the front door slam shut behind her. She took a deep breath of the fresh, familiar air and tried to smile. But there was a strange pressure on her chest. Choosing to ignore it she took the car Pete had bought her for her birthday. A silver Mercedes.  
He didn't skimp on presents that's for sure. Probably trying to make up for lost time. Not that she was complaining.

Rose started the car and tore off down the driveway. The text message she had received was a call back. Usually it meant debriefing.

She generally believed that Torchwood was doing good now. The world needed some form of institution to deal with abnormal things. And since abnormal was normal for her, working at Torchwood was an easy choice.

But she was only an agent. Not involving herself too much with the politics of it all. That was Pete's job. And she knew he was having a hard time of it. Trying to untangle the hundreds of different departments and deciding whether they were worth keeping was taking up most of his time.

Rose took a hard right turn. The pressure on her chest refused to recede. In fact it was getting worse. She rubbed at the area that hurt but the pain wasn't on the outside. She pulled into the underground parking garage at Torchwood and parked the car in her usual spot. She beeped the car locks closed on her way to the elevator.

"Hey, Rose!"

She turned at the sound of the familiar voice. She forced a smile as she saw Mickey running up to her. He gave her a hesitant smile in return.

"Hey." She gave an awkward little wave.

"Didn't think I was gonna see you here any time soon," Mickey said. "You weren't looking too good the last time I saw you." He rubbed his head. "I mean, you look better now, sort of."

"Yeah, thanks," Rose said. "I am better though. The Doctor's been helping me."

Neither the Doctor nor Rose had really explained what was going on. What the Doctor had done. Rose because she didn't understand it herself and the Doctor because he'd told no one. He wouldn't even tell her.

Replaced her cells he'd said. But how? And why when she'd asked him about it had she seen not only guilt but fear in his eyes? It hurt her that he wouldn't tell her. It made it impossible for her to trust him. To even begin to forgive him.

"Yeah, how is the old Doctor?" Mickey asked and judging by his tone he couldn't care less about the answer.

"Fine, I guess," Rose replied, her gaze dropping.

"Are you okay?" Mickey asked clearly having caught the hesitancy in her voice. He was always so attentive. Maybe too attentive sometimes. "I mean, he hasn't gone and done anything, has he?"

"Done anything? Like what?"

"I just know how you are with him. How he is. He doesn't think sometimes."

"It's nothing," Rose assured. “He’s just the Doctor, you know.”

"Alright." Mickey rocked back on his heels, hands in his pockets, clearly not willing to push her for answers she might not be prepared to give. "Well, if you ever need to talk, you know..."

"Yeah, I know." Rose combed a lock of hair behind her ear. 

"Thanks."

"Eh, um...see ya."

"See ya."

Mickey trudged away while Rose wondered for a second where they both would have been today if the Doctor had never fallen out of the sky and landed smack in the middle of her life. Would she and Mickey still have been together?

Rose turned away and headed for the elevator, thinking it mattered little now. She pressed the button to call it and the elevator door immediately slid opened. She stepped inside, swiping her card on the access panel next to her and gave the number of the floor where she wanted to go. It took longer than usual for the elevator to start moving. But eventually it did. 

Rose sighed and leaned back against the elevator wall. She was too distracted to notice that the elevator was going down instead of up. The strange pressure on her chest had turned painful.

The elevator pulled to a smooth stop and a pleasant ping signalled that she had arrived at the designated floor. The elevator doors opened and she was met with six guns pointed straight at her.

"Step out slowly," a female voice urged her. 

Dr. Conn. She was head of genetic research. Or the Basement as most people called it. Rose wasn't even quite sure what went on down there. It was one of the departments Pete hadn't even begun to untangle yet. But more importantly why was Dr. Conn's people pointing guns at her?

Rose raised her hands and stepped out of the elevator. As soon as she did she saw Conn in her white lab coat.

'What is going on?" Rose asked hesitantly.

Dr. Conn stepped forwards. "You are supposed to be dead," she said, sounding a tad accusatory.

Rose let her hands fall to her sides. Every soldier tensed up a little, but no one shot her outright.

"Well, I'm not," Rose said. "As you can see, I'm fine."

Dr. Conn took another step towards her. "No one survives that," she said in a hard tone. "I looked at your lab work. You should be dead."

"Still alive I'm afraid," Rose told her with a shake of her shoulders.

"Secure her," Dr. Conn ordered. 

Within seconds two soldiers had stepped forward and grabbed Rose.

Fire and anger flared inside Rose's chest and she lashed out. She pulled free of one soldier and punched the other so hard she knocked him to the floor. She barely even noticed the four other guns raised towards her. She twirled and faced the other soldier, realising she knew him. Tom Saks. 

Tom hesitated but she didn't. Rose knocked the weapon out of his grasp, spinning it around in her hands. In no more than a couple of seconds she had it aimed right between Tom's eyes. The man froze.

Basic weapons and combat training was mandatory for any Torchwood agent. Though Rose had seldom found the need to use the skills they had taught her, she'd still seemed to have had an affinity for it.

"Everyone hold!" Dr. Conn screamed. "No one fire!"

"Rose..." Tom's voice shook.

"Shut up," Rose growled. "You have no right to speak to me."

"We had orders," Tom tried to explain.

"From Dr. Conn? I am Rose Tyler!"

Sudden pain lashed through Rose's shoulder. Tom's eyes grew wide as he stared at her. Rose felt the gun slip out of her fingers. It clattered to the floor as she fell to her knees. Dr. Conn stepped forwards, stun-gun in hand.

"You shot me in the back," Rose said with disbelief. "You spineless..." Rose fell to the floor.

Dr. Conn waltzed over to her. She was a tall woman Dr. Conn. Long auburn hair was tied in a tight braid down her back. Her eyes were slightly slanted up at the corners. It made her look feline as she tilted her head, staring down at Rose.

But none of those things is what really captured Rose's attention. It was the strange scarring covering her skin. Like patches of it had been removed and then carefully stitched back together.

Rose glared defiantly up at her."Why?" she ground out.

Conn watched her curiously."We don't even know what you are," she mused. "Are you even Rose Tyler?"

"Of course I am. Don't be ridiculous."

"There is no way a human being survives after that. You should be dead."

"Don't sound so disappointed," Rose said.

Surprise filled Dr. Conn's face."Oh, you are mistaken Agent Tyler. I am not disappointed..." Dr. Conn giggled. Actually giggled. "...I am quite delighted in fact." She smiled broadly while Rose stared at her in utter confusion. "Take her to the lab," Dr. Conn told the soldiers.

Rose was pulled to her feet and dragged away. She passed out sometime on the way. She didn't know how much later she awoke. But she awoke strapped to a hospital bed, hooked up to all manner of machines.

The room she was in was all clean white and metal. One wall was covered by a giant mirror. Rose looked at her reflection and saw a pale girl staring back at her. How long had she been out?

There was a beep and a door slid opened. In stepped Dr. Conn. She looked much as she had the last time Rose had seen her. Lab coat and dark hair tied back. She smiled at Rose and Rose wanted to scream at her. There was a pad in her hands. Dr. Conn looked down at it, pen at the ready.

"How are we feeling?" she asked sweetly, her cat eyes watching Rose with curiosity. Rose just stared at her. Dr. Conn looked up, the question in her eyes. "Yes?"

Rose pulled at the bounds holding her. They wouldn't budge. 

"Just let me go," Rose said.

"That would rather defeat the purpose wouldn't you say?" Dr. Conn pointed out.

"And what exactly is the purpose?"

"Why, determining just what happened to Rose Tyler. Of course."

"I am Rose Tyler," Rose said yet again. "And if you don't let me go this isn't going to end well. For anyone."

"What? Is the Doctor going to come calling?" Dr. Conn giggled at her own joke.

Rose just stared at her. It was rare that anyone made light of the Doctor.

"Myths don't frighten me."

"Maybe they should," Rose said.

Dr. Conn rolled her eyes and made a few marks on her pad. She walked around the hospital bed and checked the beeping machines Rose was hooked up to. She made a few more notes.

"Have you heard the one about the bad wolf?" Rose asked. 

Dr. Conn glanced over at Rose. There was the barest twitch at the corner of Dr. Conn's eye.

"Is that something worse than your Doctor?"

"Don't get me wrong," Rose said. "The mere mention of the Doctor should make you tremble in fear. There is a reason they call him the oncoming storm. But the bad wolf? You never wake the big bad wolf. Everyone knows that."

"Very well then. Who is this big bad wolf?"

Rose raised her head off the bed, making sure she had Dr. Conn's full attention. "Me," she said.

There was a flicker of perhaps not fear but concern moving inside Dr. Conn's eyes for a moment. But then she smiled.

"What are you going to do from there?" Dr. Conn asked condescendingly. "I have you tied up. You can't hurt me. And neither can your Doctor." She returned to the pad in her hands. "Are you experiencing any dizziness? Headaches?" 

She was clearly checking off a list.

Rose hadn't thought to even check yet. But when she did she noticed that she still had that strange pressure in her chest. Like something tugging, painfully.

When she didn't answer, Dr. Conn abandoned her pad and leaned against the bed.

"You see..." she began. "I've run every possible test on you. Everything I can think of and they're all inconclusive. The only thing I could determine for sure is that you have an elevated body temperature." Dr. Conn leaned down over Rose. "So I'm going to need you to tell me, Rose Tyler, Bad Wolf or whatever you chose to call yourself. Tell me how you are still alive."

For the first time Rose noticed a hint of desperation in Dr. Conn's eyes. Something was going on. Something that went deeper than simple curiosity. This was personal. Somehow.

"Why do you want to know so badly?" Rose asked. 

Dr. Conn straightened with a sigh. "If you won't tell me Agent Tyler...," she said walking over to a small metal table with several medical instruments lined up in neat rows. 

She put the pad down on it and picked up a syringe. She turned back around. 

"If you won't tell me I am going to have to find out. Anyway I can. It will hurt. Trust me." 

Rose squeezed her lips tightly shut and glared defiantly at Dr. Conn. 

"Very well." 

She walked over and used the Iv catheter inserted in Rose's arm to inject whatever she'd put into that syringe.

"No." 

Rose struggled, trying to tear free of the bonds holding her. But Dr. Conn was right. There was nothing she could do. In terror Rose watched the pale yellow liquid as it ran up the tube and into her arm. Then she screamed.

//

The Doctor paced back and forth in front of the TARDIS in Rose's bedroom. Her absence was physically painful. He had tried to tell her it would hurt if they were apart. But Rose hadn't cared to listen. She'd rushed off, eager to be away from him. And how could he blame her? He saw the mistrust in her eyes. The disgust whenever he touched her. She hated him. His beautiful, brilliant Rose Tyler hated him and it was killing him.

Stopping his pacing the Doctor leaned against the TARDIS. He'd known the minute he made his choice that it would have consequences. Now he was just going to have to found a way to live with them. 

Suddenly pain lashed through the Doctor's nerve endings. He had to fight to stay on his feet as his mind struggled to make sense of what he was feeling. He quickly realised it wasn't his body that was in pain it was Rose's. Someone was hurting her.

The Doctor pushed the pain away with sheer force of will. It receded to a steady hum, just enough to urge him to hurry. 

He spun around and tore opened the TARDIS door, rushing inside. He hurried to the screen mounted on the centre console and began scanning the surrounding area for her. She would be much easier to find now that she had Time Lord DNA jumbled in with her own.

The thought of it made him feel wrecked with guilt. He had never wanted to do that to her. Certainly not without her permission. Without explaining just what it would mean and what it would cost. But he had been desperate. The mere thought of living his life in a universe without her in it broke him. He just hadn't been able to face it.

When the - no life-signs - flashed on the screen he screamed. "No, no, no!"

She had to be out there. She had to. He ran around the console, flipping switches as he went. Just then the TARDIS doors busted opened and in stormed an angry Mickey.

"Doctor!" he barked.

The Doctor stopped and turned around in surprise. "Mickey?" he asked, squinting at him in disbelief.

"What have you done to Rose?" Mickey asked, clearly upset. "I just saw her and...-" Mickey was immediately cut off as the Doctor rushed over and clasped Mickey's shoulders in desperation.

"You just saw her?!" he interrupted.

"Yeah, just now. She tried to make me think everything was fine. But everything's not fine. You did something to upset her, I can bloody tell."

"Where did you see her!?" the Doctor screamed.

Mickey stared at him in shock for a moment. "Torchwood," he finally answered.

The Doctor let go of Mickey. He ran back to the console, punching in coordinates.

"What are you doing?" Mickey asked, "What's wrong?"

"You should get out of here," the Doctor said, his voice suddenly eerily calm.

"Is Rose in trouble?" Mickey asked, running up to the console. 

The Doctor glanced over at him. "Rose is hurt," he said. "I can feel it."

"Feel it." It wasn't even a question. He didn't even sound all that surprised. "And you are going to get her." 

Not a question either, so the Doctor didn't bother to answer it. Because of course he was going to get her. He would always get her if she was in trouble and nothing short of time breaking apart and the whole universe shattering was going to stop him.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·


	8. Ashes to ashes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose loses control and the Doctor is the only one who can help her. If he can’t reach her in time the world might just turn to ashes and dust.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

"Please, Agent Tyler. I can't help you if you don't help yourself," Dr. Conn said, her voice far too sweet. 

Rose simply continued to stare up at the ceiling. 

"Tell me what he did," Dr. Conn insisted. "Tell me what the Doctor did to save you and this can all stop."

Rose clenched her teeth as she lay strapped to the hospital bed. Dr. Conn had run all kinds of tests. Blood work, tissue samples and biopsies. She had injected Rose with, god knows what, time and time again. Some of them hurt. Some of them knocked her out and some made her sick.

Relentlessly Dr. Conn searched for the answers Rose didn't give her. Hour after hour and through it all Rose fought to stay in control. To not let the energy inside tear through her and perhaps tear apart Dr. Conn with her. 

Dr. Conn leaned over Rose. "Tell me," she said with a smile that was somehow all sweetness and malice at the same time. 

Rose turned her head and glared at the horrible woman. "Don't you get it?" Rose told her. "I will never tell you. I won't betray him."

"You stupid girl!" Dr. Conn screamed in frustration. "This could save millions of lives! Don't you understand that? From what little I could deduce from your tests, whatever the Doctor did it didn't just fix you it made you better."

Rose turned away from her. The Doctor hadn't made her better. It was a curse. Even now she could feel it pushing behind her eyes, fighting to tear her apart. Sooner or later Rose wouldn't be able to hold it anymore. And that scared her far mor than Dr. Conn did.

Dr. Conn clutched the edges of Rose's bed in a white knuckled grip.

"Please, Rose," she pleaded for the first time. "I need to know what he did." 

Rose said nothing. Dr. Conn shook her head and turned away. She ran her fingers through her hair, messing up her braid.

"It could do so much for science, for medicine." She turned back around. "We could cure so many people Rose. We could save them all."

Rose narrowed her eyes at the woman. Dr. Conn had tears in her eyes. Her hands reached out towards Rose in pleading. It was the first sign Dr. Conn had any empathy at all. She must be talking about someone specific.

"Who are you trying to save?" Rose asked, her voice weak and barely holding.

Dr. Conn straightened and blinked in confusion. "I... I have a sister," Dr. Conn said in a quiet voice, her eyes dropping to her hands. "She's dying. It's why I joined Torchwood." She raised her gaze and stared defiantly down at Rose where she lay hurt and exhausted in that hospital bed. Dr. Conn smiled. "I'd do anything to save her." She raised her hands and indicated her scars. "Anything."

Rose felt a little sick. 

"We share a very rare blood-type," Dr. Conn was saying. "I am her perfect donor."

As Rose watched those horrid scars she wondered what other things Dr. Conn might have cut out and given to her dying sibling. 

"Dr. Conn," Rose began and looked over at the woman. Despite what Dr. Conn had done Rose felt sympathy for her. Everyone deserved a chance. "Let me go," Rose struggled to say. "...and we will do everything we can to save your sister. I promise."

"Will the Doctor to do what he did to you?" Hope filled the woman's eyes.

At the thought Rose suddenly felt cold all over. Whatever the Doctor had done he'd said it had never been done before. Probably for a very good reason. Rose wasn't even sure the process could be repeated. She barely understood half of it. But she did know one thing. She knew it as certainly as she knew her own name. Even if he could the Doctor would never do it again. Ever. Not for anything or anyone. That knowledge hummed through her veins and drummed through her bones. It was a truth that was absolute even if she couldn't remember why.

"No," Rose said quietly. "He can't."

Rose watched the momentary vulnerability leave Dr. Conn's eyes. Cold resolve replaced it. A horrible smile spread over her lips. In that moment Rose realised she would die in that room. Dr. Conn would never stop. Just like the Doctor hadn't when Rose had been the one that was dying.

Rose didn't know when she started to see the images. But at some point her hold began to slip. They began flashing inside her head. Old ones and new ones and ones never lived. It was a kaleidoscope of feelings and fears and pain. Most of all pain. Because she was never meant to see it all. Never meant to understand it. She wasn’t like the Doctor. 

Rose screamed. Her human mind was being overwhelmed with what it didn't have the strength to comprehend. Rose didn't even notice the surprised look on Dr. Conn's face before she rushed over to the monitors lined up at the side of Rose's bed. 

There were electrodes attached to Rose's head that monitored her brain activity. That machine was going crazy. Every reading shooting clear off the scale.

"This can't be possible," Dr. Conn muttered in astonishment.

Sparks blew out of the machine as it short circuited. Dr. Conn screamed and leapt back. It fell over and caught on fire. 

Rose was tearing at her bonds and crying out in agony. It was far worse than any Dr. Conn had inflicted.

Dr. Conn stared around in confusion. She had no idea what to do. As far as anyone knew she had simply brought Rose in to do some standard tests. She dared not call anyone for help. Not when they would see the state she was in. 

Dr. Conn looked at Rose. There was some sort of light shimmering beneath her skin.

Another one of the machines short circuited and sparks blew out of it as its screen went dark. There had to be a way for Dr. Conn to harvest this energy.

She hurried over to the table with the medical equipment. She picked up a syringe. She hesitated only for moment before she pushed the needle into the Rose's arm. The vial filled up with blood. The blood was far from normal. Strings of gold moved within it. It had not been there before. Dr. Conn stared in awe at the blood.

"Amazing," she mumbled to herself just as the strings of light went out. She screamed in frustration and hurled the syringe across the room. She went back to the table and grabbed a scalpel. Her eyes caught on the bone saw. What if she cut opened her head? Maybe that is where the answers lay.

Dr. Conn stared from the scalpel in her hand to the bone saw. This was stepping over a line. Resolution filled her chest. She discarded the scalpel and picked up the bone saw. 

Rose was still thrashing and screaming. But she was tied to the bed. Dr. Conn placed herself at the head of the bed.

"I'm sorry Agent Tyler," she said. "But why do you deserve to live more than anyone else?"

The familiar hum of the bone saw filled Dr. Conn's ears as she put it to Rose's scalp.

"Touch one blonde hair on her head and I'll end you in ways you could never imagine."

Conn started and twirled around. There was a man standing there. A man in a pinstriped suit, a messy head of hair and sneakers of all things. But none of those things seemed important. 

It was his eyes. Despite his young face his eyes were old. Ancient. And furious. It wasn't a regular kind of fury. If there was such a thing. The intensity of it was tangible. It seemed to radiate around him. The Doctor. What had Rose called him? The oncoming storm. Dr. Conn could see why. Merciless and uncompromising. This was the man that could topple governments with a single word. Who'd seen entire galaxies wink out of existence. 

The man that held all of time and space in the palm of his hand and he'd come for one thing. Rose Tyler.

Dr. Conn dropped the bone saw and stumbled back. She'd thought she didn't fear the Doctor. That the Doctor was just a name. A myth. But now that the myth had come to life she found she was afraid. Rose had been right. His mere presence in the room was enough to set her heart racing and her brain screaming for her to run. Run for her life.

Dr. Conn retreated until her back hit the wall. Until there was nowhere else to go.

The Doctor's eyes shifted to the girl screaming in the hospital bed. He strode over to her side. Swiftly he untied the bounds Dr. Conn knew she'd tied just a little too tight. He got rid of everything Dr. Conn had hooked her up to. Then his hands were at Rose's face, touching her with a gentleness that surprised Dr. Conn. He whispered her name, his voice soft and kind. 

“Rose.”

It was a truly strange thing to behold. This man with the fury of a vengeful god and he treated this one girl with such tenderness.

Dr. Conn watched as the Doctor raised Rose off the bed and held her to him. She shook in his arms and all he did was hold her tighter. Like nothing was ever going to be strong enough to make him let go.

Dr. Conn skirted the room, moving towards the exit. But halfway there she stopped. They were both here now. Rose Tyler and the Doctor. In this room. Just waiting for her to unlock their secrets. And all she had to do...

Suddenly a blinding light lit up the room. Dr. Conn twirled around and stared in horror. It was Rose. Golden, dusted light twirled around her. Rose opened her eyes and that light was in them too. It was power. Unlimited power. Dr. Conn could feel it even from across the room. Even in this the girl had been right. She had warned her of the Bad Wolf. This must have been what she meant. 

The Doctor was a force of nature but he was still a person and a person could be reasoned with on some level. Dr. Conn knew instantly that there was no reasoning with the creature of light rising in that bed.

The Doctor stumbled back. Rose sat up, her glowing eyes fixed on Dr. Conn.

The light grew, reaching out like tendrils. Pounding, pulsating with power. Dr. Conn would have screamed. She thought she would scream. But it was painless. She just disappeared into dust. Ashes to ashes. She didn't feel a thing.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The Doctor felt it as Rose was being torn apart. All that energy sizzling through her veins being released. The building was shaking around them. Things were falling over. Cracks were breaking up the walls. It was all coming down.  
And it was his fault. He hadn't gotten to her fast enough.

The Doctor clasped the edge of the bed and pulled himself back on his feet. He could feel the heat around her. The power surging. Curling. He clasped her hand. It burned even him but he didn't let go. He’d never let her go.

"Rose..." The Doctor struggled to reach her. "Rose please." But he feared she was too far gone. Lost.

The Doctor let his forehead fall against the mattress. He entwined his fingers with hers and held on tight. Even though she had told him never to touch her like that again. And he had silently sworn he never would.

_Please Rose, he thought desperately. Not like this. Please. Not after everything. It couldn't all have been for nothing._

__

Then he suddenly felt her squeezing his hand in turn. He looked up in surprise. She was still surrounded by that dust of light. But her eyes were on him.

__

"Doctor," she whispered in a broken voice. "Make it stop."

__

It was permission enough. He surged up and ceased her face between his hands. He pulled her to him and kissed her. Their connection was all that had the chance to bind the power now. 

__

But it wasn't a one way street. He had to engage her heart, her soul and this was the only way he knew how. The only way he could make her forget.

__

Golden dust shimmered around them as the building was breaking down and neither of them noticed any of it. They were lost to each other. Nothing existed but the two of them. They were the very eye of the storm.

__

Slowly the light around them began to dim. Slowly Rose pulled all that energy back inside. Just as she had done before in that place between time.

__

She was strong his Rose.

__

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·


	9. I can’t

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Torchwood is falling. The Doctor and Rose must hurry to escape before it crumbles.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The Doctor and Rose pulled apart.

He ran his hand carefully through her hair. "Rose?"

She looked up at him, exhaustion in her eyes. He got the sonic out of his pocket and scanned her quickly. It wasn’t good. The energy had ripped through her, causing damage to the tissue around her heart and lungs. Not only that it was clear that Dr. Conn har run far too many test on her. Painful ones at that. He had to get her out of there. Get her back to the TARDIS. He had to fix this.

Looking around the Doctor saw the decimated room. Half of the ceiling had caved in. Dust coated the floor were Rose had destroyed equipment. Not to mention Dr. Conn.

They were deep underground and the structure was coming down. They would be buried alive if they didn't hurry out of there.

"We have to go," the Doctor told Rose.

She gave him a weak nod. The Doctor got out of the bed. He urged Rose with him. Looping her arm across his shoulders he wrapped his other arm around her waist. He half dragged her out of the room.

The whole sub-level had been TARDIS proof and he’d been forced to park several floors up. It had been a desperate race to get to Rose in time.

They made it out into a hallway. It was in a worse state then the room Rose had been in. Metal beams had fallen through the ceiling. Broken lights flickered as they swung from their cables.

The Doctor pulled Rose with him, struggling to get over the fallen beams. Dust and debris was falling from above. It was a constant reminder that they had to hurry. But Rose kept stumbling, nearly toppling them both over.

"We are not dying down here, Rose," the Doctor told her. "You hear me?"

But there was no response from the girl at his side.

The Doctor looked up. Someone was moving up ahead. By the looks of it they were struggling to get past debris blocking their way. The Doctor made his way over with Rose.

"Are you going to help me?" the woman growled as they got closer.

"I..." The Doctor began but trailed off, his eyes caught on Rose. He was loath to relinquish her.

"Are you deaf or stupid!?" The woman twirled around. She stopped dead as she saw them. "Oh my god," she exclaimed. "Is she...?" Her eyes narrowed on Rose. "Is that Agent Tyler?" she asked with disbelief.

The Doctor reluctantly put Rose down. He leaned her carefully against the wall. Her eyes were closed, her breathing shallow. He brushed his knuckles down her cheek, feeling that pleasant electrical spark tingle through his blood. He let the link flare inside his mind. For just a second enjoying the feeling. The feeling of not being alone anymore.

He let his hand fall, knowing she didn't feel the same way he did. Knowing she hated it when he touched her. It made his chest twist painfully. It made him wake in the middle of the night, screaming in fear that she'd never let him near her again. That being the last of his kind would be nothing compared to being without her.

The Doctor rose to his feet and turned to the woman who stood staring at them.

"Let's get this out of the way," he said.

The woman only nodded.

They both got a hold of the beam and pushed. It was heavy. But the very minute they shifted it dust rained down on their heads and what was left of ceiling creaked ominiously. 

“Not entirely sure this is safe,” the Doctor said, glancing up. 

“There is no other way forwards,” the woman said. “Not if we want to get out of here.” 

“Very well,” the Doctor allowed. 

Putting their backs into it they managed to shift the beam a bit further. For just second it seemed the ceiling would hold. But then the beam fell and more fell with it. 

The Doctor and the woman covered their heads. Dust rained down. Harsh and suffocating. He glanced up. It looked like a path had been cleared. Problem was more of the ceiling was coming down. 

The Doctor pushed the woman on before he ran back to Rose. He yanked her up off the floor. A section collapsed just behind them. They were out of time.

Looping Rose’s arm over his shoulders the Doctor pulled her with him. Dust and rocks rained down. The Doctor fought to keep Rose from the worst of it. 

The woman was running ahead, making sure the path was clear enough to pass. The ceiling above groaned and buckled. It wasn't going to hold. It was all going to cave in.

"Run!" the Doctor screamed at the woman ahead of them.

She twirled around. A moment of indecision flickered past her face. 

She ran back to them, taking Rose's other arm and helped the Doctor pull her along. Rose was still stumbling, struggling to move forwards with any speed. 

A metal bar fell from above. They tumbled to side to avoid it. It crashed at their feet, nearly crushing them all. 

"Come on!" The Doctor screamed over the noise of the collapsing building.

They hurried down the corridor as the roof caved in behind them. They ran harder, faster even though they knew they could never outrun it. The woman suddenly stopped at an intersection.

"This way," she said, indicating a hallway to the left. "There's a bomb shelter down there. Reinforced against pretty much everything."

They turned down the left hallway and ran flat out. Then Rose's legs gave way under her. The sudden dead weight made them all falter. The Doctor yanked Rose up, slipping his arm under her knees and lifting her up.

"RUN!" he screamed at the woman as she hesitated.

She turned and ran. 

The Doctor ran after with Rose in his arms. Everything was falling. Dirt and rocks from the ground overhead rained down on them. Some hit the Doctor hard enough to make him ground out in pain. But he didn’t stop. Did not dare. If nothing else he would not let Rose die in this dark, broken place. 

Behind them the entire ceiling was finally coming down. The entire structure failing. The woman skidded to a halt and used her keycard to swipe at a panel before a big iron door. After the longest two seconds in history the light above the panel blinked red.

"Oh, come on!" the woman screamed in frustration.

She swiped the card again. Again a red light.

"Human, woman, person!" The Doctor called over the sound of their ever impending death, realising he didn't know her name. The woman twirled around. "Inside, jacket pocket," he said nodding down towards his chest. She looked at him dubiously. "NOW!"

After a few seconds she pulled out his sonic-screwdriver.

"Put it in my hand," he told her. Holding out his right hand as far as he could while still holding on to Rose. 

The woman gave it to him without comment. He pointed it at the panel. A rather large chunk of stone crashed down next to them. They all jumped. The woman stared in fear as the corridor was collapsing towards them.

"Come on," The Doctor growled.

Finally the light turned green. The door slid opened. They threw themselves inside. The Doctor turned his head and saw pounds of dirt and broken steel beams crash down just before the door slid closed.

"Hannah, thank goodness," someone was saying while helping the woman to her feet.

The Doctor was turning Rose over. She was unconscious. Her skin deathly pale. Horrible memories of her dying in his arms filled his mind until he thought they might crush him. She had been pale then too. Pale and cold, and blood staining her lips red. 

He brushed her blonde hair out of her face. "Rose," he whispered, not even he able to mask the fear in his voice. "Rose?"

He felt the warmth of her skin. She was alive. But she wasn't responding. He couldn't lose her. He wouldn't lose her. It was as simple as that. He'd keep her alive or die trying.

The Doctor looked up at the faces around him. Five people were standing in a semi-circle staring at them. 

One was the woman who had helped them, Hannah. Next to her was a guy in his early twenties. His name tag red Ford Velcon. Next to him was a woman in her forties, short cropped black hair and a sharp business suit. No name-tag. 

Then there was an older guy in a lab-coat, name tag read Clive Bartley. The last one was a young soldier, the patch on his breast pocket read Saks.

"Is there any water?" he asked the group.

For a moment none replied.

"In the back. I'll get some." The soldier, Saks turned around and hurried away.

"That's Agent Tyler," the woman in the business suit pointed out.

"Yes, what of it?" the Doctor muttered, only half paying attention. More focused on Rose than anything else. 

"So who are you?" the woman asked.

The Doctor glanced up at her. Her eyes were sharp on him. He could see intelligence in them. But a pitiless kind. She seemed far more interested in who he was than helping someone who was obviously injured.

Saks came back with a small bottle of water. He handed it over. The Doctor gratefully took it. He raised Rose's head off the floor.

"You have to drink, Rose," he urged her. 

He tipped the water into her mouth and she swallowed. The Doctor sighed with relief. She managed to get a few mouthfuls down before she coughed. 

The Doctor handed the bottle back to Saks before he helped Rose into a sitting position. She coughed a couple more times and leaned her head against his chest. 

"Rose, please talk to me."

"What happened?" Rose mumbled weakly into his chest. 

Of course she wouldn't remember. It was the only defence her mind had. Suppression.

"We're in a bit of a jam," the Doctor told her.

"When are we not," Rose mumbled. "What else is new?"

"Weeell..." the Doctor began. "We are trapped a few floors underground and we may or may not be able to get out."

Rose opened her eyes and looked carefully around the room. Every bone in her body felt sore. Her eyes found the other residents in the room. They slew over everyone but stopped at Saks. Tom Saks, the guy she'd thought she knew but had helped Dr. Conn.

"You," she muttered accusingly.

"I'm sorry, Rose," Saks immediately cut in. "I was coming down here to check on you. I felt bad...-"

"She practically tortured me, Tom!" Rose spat at Saks. 

That much she remembered. Every time Dr. Conn had stuck a needle in her. Every painful test she'd taken was burned into her mind. 

Saks blanched. "I didn't know. I swear," he insisted.

"You were a part of this?" the Doctor cut in. 

Saks gaze flickered up to the Doctor. What little blood that was left in his face drained away. 

"We… we had orders," he stuttered. "I didn't know."

The Doctor was holding Rose's hand and his grip was tightening to the point of being painful. She gave his hand a squeeze to get his attention. His eyes flickered down to hers.

"Forget about it," she told him. "Just forget about it."

After a couple of seconds he gave her a nod and his hold on her eased up.

Rose took another look around the room. "Where's Dr. Conn anyway?" she asked. She felt the Doctor tense up.

"She's gone," he replied, his voice stilted. 

She was just about to ask him what had happened when he cut her off. 

"How are you feeling? Can you stand?"

"Dunno," Rose replied.

"Do you have blankets or anything?" the Doctor barked at Saks.

The soldier immediately hurried away. When he came back he carried a bundle of blankets in his arms.

"Over there," the Doctor ordered, pointing to a spot against the wall, a little out of the way. Saks arranged the blankets in a make-shift bed.

"Do you wanna try to stand?" the Doctor asked Rose. 

She nodded.

He got to his feet and pulled her with him. She swayed and her head spun but she stayed upright. The Doctor wrapped his arm around her waist. She could feel the points were his bare skin graced hers. She couldn't deny that the contact was strengthening. 

The closer she was to him the stronger she felt. It was the most bittersweet thing she'd ever known.

The Doctor helped her down on the blankets Saks had laid out. Rose leaned her back thankfully against the wall. The Doctor began to straighten but she clasped his wrist, stopping him. She shook her head.

"Stay for a while," she said. "Just for a while. Please."

The Doctor did as she asked without question, sitting down next to her. She interlaced their fingers and laid her head against his shoulder.

The other four people had gathered together in a group, whispering and sending curious glances their way. 

Tom Saks was standing a bit awkwardly between them, clearly not quite sure where he should place his loyalties.

"Can you hear what they're whispering about?" Rose asked without raising her head.

"They're curious about you," the Doctor said. "And me."

"Do they know who you are?"

"They suspect, yes."

The Doctor ran his thumb back and forth over hers in a soothing rhythm.

"I hate how good it feels when you do that."

The Doctor immediately stopped the motion. He hadn't even been aware he was doing it. He didn't know if he should release her and move away all together. Perhaps these few moments were all he was going to get. 

He sat very, very still as he asked, "Do you hate it that much? Does it feel that terrible?"

He knew how touching her made him feel. Like walking barefoot through dew-covered red grass. Like running flat out with nothing but an endless orange sky overhead and nothing to hold him back. Touching her felt like touching something impossible. Like starlight. Impossibly wonderful. 

But she was human. And for a human it clearly did not feel that way. He got the sense that it somehow made her ill. She had said it felt like dying. The thought made a knot twist deep inside his chest. He was just to pull his hand out of hers when she spoke.

"No," she said. "It doesn't feel terrible at all." She took a deep unsteady breath. "But it scares me. A lot."

"I'm...-" the Doctor began but fell silent, remembering how she'd told him never again to tell her he was sorry. Even though he was. He would be sorry for the rest of his life.

They sat quiet for a while until Rose broke the silence. "I killed Dr. Conn, didn't I?"

It was not what he'd been expecting and the question startled him. 

"I don't remember doing it but I feel the guilt of it," she continued before he had a chance to gather his thoughts.  
He turned his head and kissed the top of her head.

"She'd hurt you. She was about to kill you," he told her, his voice muffled by her hair.

Rose straightened and looked up at him. "I want to see," she said. "You can show me, can't you? You can do that mind-thing. Project images into my head...-"

"No," the Doctor cut her off, shaking his head. "There is a reason your mind is blocking it out. It's protecting itself. Just like with the Daleks at the Gaming station."

"So I failed to keep control? Is that what happened?" she asked sharply. "Is that what you're telling me, Doctor?" She glanced around, sudden realisation filling her face. "Did I do this?" she asked in horror. "Was this my fault?"

The Doctor didn't answer, unable to find the words. But his silence was enough.

"Oh, my god," she breathed.

Her fingers tightened around his. Panic filled her chest. How many people? How many she knew? Her father. Mickey. If they had been here. What if...?

Her heart began pounding frantically inside her chest, her breathing coming in rapid pants. The Doctor ceased her face and turned it towards him, still holding on to her hand even though her nails were digging into his skin.

"Rose, easy," he said. 

Her eyes found his. She looked into their brown depths and saw nothing but strength and kindness. 

"You didn't do this," he told her. "That Dr. Conn woman did. You stopped it." He brushed his thump over the curve of her cheek, sending a calming tingle over her skin. "Do you hear me? This was not your fault."

She wanted to believe him. But how could she? If she had been stronger this wouldn't have happened. People had most likely died because she wasn't strong enough. Panic curled in Rose’s gut. 

It was making it harder to keep control. She could feel it slipping. That power in her veins was stirring. And that only made her more frantic. She looked away from the Doctor, seeing all the people in the room. Could she kill them all? If she lost control, could they all die?

The Doctor was talking to her but she could no longer hear him. There was a buzzing in her ears. As though she could hear her blood rushing through her veins. And then for a split second she remembered. 

She remembered being strapped to that bed. The Doctor was coming for her. Dr. Conn had stood behind him. Through the endless stream of timelines rushing through her head one had suddenly stood out like a beacon. She saw Dr. Conn killing the Doctor.

It had been enough to snap the last few strings in Rose's mind. Fire and rage had filled her until it became pure energy. Energy that needed to be released.

Suddenly his face, hazy and indistinct swam before her. She blinked and slowly the edges began to sharpen. His eyes came into focus and his voice finally penetrated her mind.

"Rose, stop it!" He was holding on to her arms, his grip hard. "Do you hear me?! Stop!"

She blinked again and the memory faded. Until it was tucked away, deep in her mind where it couldn't hurt her. She saw him breathe a sigh of relief.

"For a moment I thought I was going to lose you again," he mumbled, shaking his head.

She glanced down and saw the light moving under her skin dimming until it was completely gone. It looked like the Doctor's just before he regenerated, she realised. Perhaps it was the same kind of energy. It just wasn't doing the same to her as it did to him because she was human.

The Doctor pulled her into his arms and Rose let him. Just for the moment she pushed everything else away. All the guilt and the hurt and just let him hold her. 

She had loved him for along time. Loved him more than life itself. She supposed she still did. That she always would. A love like that was not something that could simply fade. She feared it would burn across time and space for an eternity. Burning worlds with it.

The Doctor ran his hand down over her hair and she buried her face against his shoulder. It was a nice moment. One that they both needed. But it was passing. 

Rose pulled away from him and reluctantly he let her go. She leaned back against the wall, avoiding looking at him. Though she could feel his eyes intent on her.

"You are never going to forgive me, are you?" he asked, his voice fractured.

Rose looked up at him. 

Fear filled his eyes. Sometimes he could be hard to read. He was so very good at hiding what he was feeling but for once it was all too clear. 

Rose swallowed hard. Whatever he'd done she didn't want to hurt him. But false hope was worse than any painful truth. 

She shook her head. "No."

He gave her a nod of acceptance. He'd known deep down that she wouldn't. He had violated her trust. And all because the thought of losing her had been unbearable.

The Doctor turned away from her, preparing to rise. She grabbed his shirt sleeve, stopping him.

"Unless you tell me," she said. His eyes narrowed on her. "Explain to me what you did. You are hiding something. I know you are. Just tell me. Make me understand."

The Doctor reached down and removed her hand. "I can't," he said. He rose to his feet and left her. 

Rose felt his absence like a physical wound. She pushed her hair out of her face and took a deep strengthening breath. 

She looked up to find Tom Saks watching her, a sad expression on his face. She gave him a glare and he turned away.

Rose watched as the Doctor ran around the room, looking for a way out. Without him near her she was getting tired again, her eyes drifting shut. She leaned back, allowing herself to slip away. Her body needed rest after the ordeal it had been through.

"Rose?" Her eyes fluttered opened.

Tom was kneeling down in front of her, a bottle of water in his hand. "This shelter is fairly well stocked," he said. "Your Doctor insisted I make sure you drink enough water," he explained.

Rose reluctantly took the bottle. She was thirsty. She took a swig. "Where is he?" she asked.

"They found some maintenance shaft or something. They're trying to see if they can find a way out."

"They?"

"Your Doctor and Hannah."

"Hannah, of course. Great," Rose muttered and took another swig of water.

"I don't think you need to worry," Tom said at the hint of jealousy in Rose's voice. 

She had tried to mask it but had obviously failed. She had no real right to be jealous. "That bloke only has eyes for you. Never seen anyone look at someone the way he looks at you. Like loving you is killing him and he doesn't even care."

"Yeah," Rose muttered. She rubbed her eyes tiredly, thinking Tom didn't know what on earth he was talking about.

"I remember when you left," Tom said. "Left everything to see him one last time. What happened?"

Rose leaned her head back. She felt the power in her veins moving, humming. It was always there. Her control over it had to be constant. She could never relax. Unless she was in the TARDIS or with the Doctor. He had done that to her.

"Thanks for the water," she told Tom, dismissing him. 

He didn't push but nodded and left her alone.

Rose screwed the cork back on the bottle and put it down next to her, letting it slip out of her fingers and roll away.

Suddenly she heard an inhuman like screech. She froze and listened. It sounded like it had come from inside the walls. She looked around at the others in the room but none of them seemed to have heard anything. Maybe she was going mad.

There was a bit of a ruckus and the Doctor came bounding in.

"Alright people!" Rose heard him declare.

He came into view, Hannah following behind. The others stopped what they were doing and turned their attention on him. Rose looked up at the Doctor from her position on the floor, but he was avoiding looking at her. 

He looks at you like loving you is killing him. Tom's words rang inside her head.

"We think we found a way to the surface," he was telling them all excitedly. "It will be a bit of a squeeze and a climb but we can do it." He turned to Hannah. "Brilliant Hannah here knows the way," he said. "Just follow her." For a moment no one moved. "Come on! Get up!" he called clapping his hands to get them all moving.

The ones who had been sitting struggled to their feet, all of them moving towards Hannah. 

Tom came up to the Doctor and told him something. The Doctor nodded and finally looked over at Rose. His face was hard, his eyes dark and unreadable. Rose let her gaze fall from his. He came over to her, kneeling down in front of her.

"Rose," he said, his voice soft, rivalling the hardness she had seen in his eyes.

"A bit of a squeeze and a climb?" she asked.

"Do you think you can manage it?"

Rose took a deep breath and nodded. She struggled up on her feet, using the wall to prop herself up. She ignored the hand he held out to aid her and pushed away from the wall.

"I'm fine," she said.

Her knees folded under her. The Doctor caught her and pulled her back up.

"Sure you are," he muttered and wrapped his arm around her waist.

Rose pulled away from him. "I said, I'm fine," she insisted.

The Doctor immediately took a step back. "Fine," he said. "If you say you're fine you're fine." He walked away from her, going the same way as the rest of them had gone. "You won't hear me arguing." He stopped at the doorway to the storage room and turned back to her. "Coming then?" he asked.

Rose nodded and moved towards him. Her gait was slow and unsteady. The Doctor had to struggle to keep from helping her. He stood to the side and let her pass by him.

Rose saw the last person wiggling into a man sized hole near the floor. She used the wall to steady herself, taking a few deep breaths.

"In you go then," the Doctor said.

She turned and gave him a glare before taking a torch lying on a cart next to her. It was the kind that you strapped to your wrist. She put it on, got down on her hands and knees and crawled into the hole.

It was dark and tight. One way forward. One way back. Nowhere to run. She heard the Doctor enter behind her. The light from his torch cast shadows of her across the walls. Making her feel hunted. Trapped.

They crawled through the vents for a good fifteen minutes. Until Rose saw the man in front of her, Clive Bartley if she wasn't mistaken, struggle up and disappear out of sight. 

Rose reached the intersection and a ladder. She grabbed a hold of one of the rungs and pulled herself up. She felt the muscles in her arms straining. Her chest hurt as she struggled to draw in breath. She squeezed her eyes shut and struggled up the ladder.

At the top Tom was there to pull her up. They were all standing around in a hallway. Half of it looked caved in. There were metal beams and debris blocking the passage. Hannah was at the head of the group, looking to see that everyone was with them.

The Doctor climbed out of the hole. He gave Hannah a nod and she nodded in return. 

So that was how it was, Rose thought bitterly. Only to immediately chastise herself. She knew she was being ridiculous. But she couldn't help but feel jealous as she watched the Doctor and Hannah work together. Usually that would have been Rose.

Hannah turned around and called to the others to follow her. She began climbing over the debris and the others followed. Hannah and the Doctor must have found a way through. 

Tom was holding out his hand to help Rose but she shook her head. She could do it on her own. Tom preceded her and the Doctor followed behind.

Rose took a hold of a metal beam to help pull her over a big boulder. Suddenly she heard that screech again. 

Everyone froze and Rose nearly loosed her footing. It was a terrible inhuman scream. She whipped her head around and her eyes found the Doctor's.

"What was that?" she asked.

His eyebrows drew together in a frown. "You tell me," he said. "You're the one that works here."

"I'm never down here," Rose admitted and looked around worriedly.

"We really should be going," the woman with short cropped dark hair and the sharp suit urged.

There was a hint of panic in her voice that made Rose pause. Her eyes narrowed on the woman. Something about her was familiar but Rose couldn't put her finger on it. There were so much personnel working at Torchwood and so many different departments. She could have seen her in passing anywhere.

"Well, you heard her!" the Doctor called. "Let's get going!"

"Alright! Come on! This way!" Hannah called.

They all went a little bit faster after that. And soon the screech was joined by more, echoing off the walls. Rose thought she could hear scratching, things moving in the darkness.

Tom helped her over another boulder. Some parts they had to crawl through and others they had to help each other to get over.

The flickering light from their torches were casting frightening shadows across the walls. 

More than once Rose was sure the shadows were moving on their own. But whatever was hiding in the darkness it wasn't coming out. Not yet. It was waiting. Watching. Biding its time.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·


	10. Important

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose must trust the Doctor if they are going to make it out. But there are more things to fear in the dark than being buried alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An old but slightly updated Doctor who foe in this chapter!

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Rose fell and the Doctor caught her. His hand in hers sent a shiver of awareness across her skin. Reflexively she pulled away only to stumble again and have Tom catch her instead.

"I got her," Tom assured the Doctor. 

He nodded. Stoically watching as Rose let Tom aid her.

"We... we have to move faster." Rose looked up and saw Ford, his eyes darting around, fear twisting his features as he stuttered. "It's coming."

They could all feel it. They were being hunted. By something. Something in the walls.

And Rose was regrettably slowing them down. Every bone and muscle in her body ached and every breath she took was a struggle. At this rate she might end up getting them all killed.

So she picked up her pace, Tom running along side her. But she didn't make it far before she was out of breath, her body screaming at her to slow down. She ground her teeth. She hated feeling like a burden.

But no matter how she fought, her body didn't have the strength to carry her. So again she stumbled, no one close or quick enough to catch her this time.

Rose caught herself with her palms flat against the floor, gulping in lungfuls of air as she realised that at this rate they were going to have to leave her.

Tom was by her side but it was the Doctor's hands that wrapped around her waist and got her up. 

Before she could object he pulled her back, manoeuvring her far too easily behind nook in the wall. Effectively blocking her view with his body.

"Go on," he told Tom.

After a moment of hesitation Tom urged the others along and they hurried away down the dark and broken hallway.

"I'm sorry," the Doctor told Rose. "But if you're hellbent on getting yourself killed...-"

"I'm not," Rose refuted, interrupting him impatiently. "Just not keen on getting everyone else killed because I'm...-"

"Shut up," he growled, the harsh command startling her into silence.

The Doctor raised his hands, his fingertips ghosting against her temples. She drew back at the tingling sensation his touch caused but was stopped by the wall.

"Trust me," the Doctor told her, his eyes sharp on hers.

"Like I did last time?" she bit out.

It was meant as an insult. A cruel reminder of what had landed them in this situation in the first place. Her blinding trust in him.

His eyes hardened, his jaw clenching tight. "Yes." He leaned down closer to her. "Blindingly," he added as though he'd read her mind.

In that moment Rose knew, despite it all that she would. Again and again. And that realisation broke her heart. Because what was wrong with her that she could trust him even as he lied to her?

The Doctor shut his eyes and Rose thought she saw a flicker of fear flutter in their depth before he did.

"Let me into your mind." The words were hard as though he wasn't asking to be allowed in but demanded it.

But Rose could feel his fingers tremble as he held them at her temples, understanding the fear she'd seen in his eyes.  
If she told him no, he wouldn't push. Whatever he had planned this was one demand he wouldn't make of her. 

But if she did say no, it would hurt him. She knew it without a shred of doubt. Even though he might sound brisk and unfeeling he was far from it.

It was a fragile request and one he might never make again if she refused him. So Rose closed her eyes, forcing herself to relax. She felt some of the tension leave the Doctor's body as she did.

"Properly," he whispered. "Or I can't help you."

Rose took a deep, shuddering breath and almost immediately she felt the link between them flare up. Bright and shining it wove her mind with his and the more she let him in the more the euphoria of it spread through her body.

The feeling was like nothing she had ever known before. She absently wondered if it was the same for him. Did he feel like every movement was perfect, every touch ecstasy?

"Relax Rose," he murmured. "...and I'll show you what to do."

And so she did and he did. He showed her how to direct all that pulsing, errant power inside her. Direct it towards the parts of her body that needed mending. It felt good. So very good to have the energy directed, focused on something instead of just trying to contain it. 

As her body healed Rose let the energy flow more freely. Letting it wound and bind and reach. Instinct guiding her more than conscious thought.

Then suddenly an image blazed up inside her head.  
She instantly knew that it wasn't from her mind. She was seeing into the Doctor's.

She saw darkness. The infinite kind. She felt the echoes of desperation and things long denied. But most of all she felt the loss of this moment and fear of never knowing its like again.

Rose could see as the Doctor ran his hand down her arm and she could feel exactly how her skin felt underneath his fingers. Exactly how it made him feel to finally touch her this way. He kissed her bare shoulder. Softly, reverently as he murmured her name. Rose. My Rose.

Then suddenly it was like a door slamming shut. The image vanished. The Doctor released her so abruptly she had to steady herself against the wall not to fall. 

Rose gulped in air as the world around them rushed back in.

"You shouldn't have done that," the Doctor said, his voice hard.

Rose looked up at him, confused. "Done what?" she asked, her mind a scramble.

"Looked into my mind," he clarified.

"Oh, but it's okay for you to poke around in mine?"

Rose struggled for a moment to regain mastery of the power surging through her blood. The Doctor had pulled back so quickly it was like it had abruptly lost its tether and it took her a moment to tie it back down.

"I wasn't looking at your thoughts I was just trying to help you," the Doctor said.

At that Rose started and stopped, looking up at him.

"What I saw, that is what you were thinking about? Right now?" she asked in surprise. The Doctor stepped back, his eyes dropping from hers. "Doctor?"

His eyes fluttered back up to hers. "It's all I can think about," he admitted, his voice ragged and raw like a fresh wound.

He turned away and Rose straightened. She reached out but halted as Tom called back to them.

"What are you two doing? Come on!"

"We gotta go," the Doctor said and Rose clenched her outstretched hand into a fist and let it fall. "Come on." 

He walked away and Rose could do nothing but follow.  
Her head was still pounding but her body no longer felt weak, her breathing easy and her heartbeat steady.

They hurried to catch up to the others, noticing they had all stopped. As they got closer it was easy to see why. The way was completely blocked by debris.

"This wasn't here before," the Doctor muttered.

Rose glanced around, she had the uncomfortable feeling something was off. 

"Wait, where is Clive?" she asked aloud.

"Who's Clive?" the woman in the sharp suit remarked disinterestedly, immediately causing Rose's ire to rise.

"White haired bloke, kind smile," Rose told her and the woman shook her shoulders as though she couldn't care less.

The Doctor pushed past them, joining Hannah and Tom in trying to move some of the debris out of the way.

Rose twirled around seeing no sign of Clive. Then she heard it again. That scratching. 

She made her way over to the wall. She paused, a touch of trepidation running down her spine like cold water before she put her ear to the wall.

There was definitely something scratching. Except it wasn't scratching. Not quite. She pushed closer, listening as hard as she could. Insects. It was the first thought that came to mind. It sounded like insects. 

Rose stumbled back, worry rising in her chest. She really wasn't a fan of insects. Certainly not lots of them.

"Doctor?" Rose called.

He left Tom and Hannah and came over to her. "What?" he asked.

"That scratching. Can you hear it?"

He paused and listened, nodding after only a second.

"What does that sound like to you?"

His eyebrows went up. "Bugs," he said. "Like lots of... bugs."

"Clive's missing," Rose said, her eyes still glued to the wall. Sure that the noise was getting steadily louder.

The Doctor looked around as though he would simply spot Clive in a dark corner Rose would somehow have missed.

"Hey, wait!" he called out.

Rose was finally able to tear her gaze away from the wall. She was just in time to see the woman in the sharp suit disappear through a door.

"It's a dead end!" the Doctor shouted after her but she was already gone.

"I'll get her," Rose said and hurried after.

"No, Rose wait!"

The Doctor followed her as Rose rushed through the door, barking at the others to wait for them.

Another dark hallway met them. Smaller and not as destroyed, with one door at the far end. No sign of the rude woman.

Rose ran down the hall to the door, the Doctor calling at her to wait. She, of course ignored him. She opened the door and hurried inside. Only to stop dead.

The first thing that hit her was the smell. Rancid and vile. The next was the giant cocoon. It hung from the ceiling, taking up most of the far corner and dripping goo onto the floor. The whole thing was pulsing, stretching to near breaking point.

She felt the Doctor at her back, some objection having died on his lips. Then he was drawing past her. Specs appeared on his nose as he moved closer to the big mucus covered sack.

"Interesting," he muttered as he hunkered down in front of it.

"Doctor, what is that?" Rose asked.

"I do believe that was your missing Dave."

Rose started and turned at the female drawl. The woman was standing in the room, having been momentarily hidden by the shadows.

"It's Clive," Rose corrected without thinking. "Wait, what?" She looked back at the pulsing thing in the corner. "You mean he's..." She swallowed hard. "... in there?"

"If he was there's not much left of him," the Doctor muttered, his eyes running over the cocoon.

He retrieved his sonic out of his breast pocket. But he barely had time to use it before the thing gave a violent twitch causing them all to start.

"Doctor, maybe we should go," Rose said, glancing around the room in case something else was hiding in the shadows.

Her attention caught on the woman. There was something in her eyes as she stared at the pulsing, twitching cocoon. Or perhaps a lack of something that alerted Rose to the fact that she'd seen this before and she was not at all surprised to see it now.

"You know what that is, don't you?"

The woman turned her attention on Rose. "There are far worse things down here than that, Agent Tyler," she said, a hint of a smile twitching her lips. "And they are all lose now."

"Who are you? What's your name?"

The woman's lips spread in a smile that was eerily familiar in it's absolute lack of empathy.

"Annabelle," she said. "Annabelle Conn."

Rose felt her blood run cold. She fought to swallow the lump in her throat. "Dr. Conn was..." Rose trailed off.

"My sister, yes," Annabelle Conn confirmed.

Rose stared at her. She must be the sister, Rose thought. The one Dr. Conn had been desperate enough to want to cut Rose's head open to save.

"Are you the one that's dying?" Rose blurted out and saw surprise fill the woman's eyes before they turned hard again.

"Did she tell you that?" she asked. "Before you murdered her?"

It was like a fist had reached inside and twisted Rose's heart. Murder. But Rose shook her head. She'd had no choice. Of that she was sure. Whatever she had done it had been in self-defence. Or - her eyes flickered over to the man still hunkered down on the floor in front of the giant cocoon. - in defence of the Doctor.

Rose turned back to Annabelle Conn, noticing she had steadily made her way closer to the door. 

"I'm sorry," Rose told her. 

And she was. Even though she could barely remember doing it, she was still sorry it had happened. Annabelle Conn didn't answer, she only smiled.

"You, know," the Doctor said, drawing Rose's attention back to him. "I think I've seen this before."

"That's great," Rose said with just a hint of sarcasm. "So what is it?"

"Do you remember you thought you heard insects in the walls?" he said and Rose felt the acute need to rub at her arms as though said insects were suddenly crawling all over her.

"Yeah," she said hesitantly.

"Wirrn," the Doctor said.

"Wirrn?"

"Yep," the Doctor confirmed. "Or some version of them. They take a host, most likely poor Clive here, infect it and it turns into this." He pointed at the sack of oozing goo. "And from it the Wirrn is born."

The cocoon gave another hard twitch. Enough to get the Doctor to his feet and a step back.

The door suddenly slammed shut behind them. Both the Doctor and Rose twirled around. Annabelle Conn was gone. Rose immediately rushed over to the door and with a sinking feeling in her stomach she yanked on the handle. Locked.

"Doctor...?" She turned back. But he was staring at the cocoon. It was twitching more violently now. Stretching and writhing like something inside was trying desperately to get out. "Doctor...?"

"Yeah, I think we should..." he began and then the thing burst opened.

Rose screamed. She couldn't help it. Because out poured bugs. Big as cats. Their glistening bodies coated with mucus and their insect legs crawling over each other. They poured out of the cocoon that had once been Clive.

The Doctor ran, his sonic already in his hand. A few flicks and the door unlocked.

Rose and the Doctor practically fell through it. He grabbed her hand and together they ran. It had been too late to close the door behind them. The Wirrn were already pouring out of it. 

Flat out the Doctor and Rose ran. Chased by the patter of hundreds of insect legs behind them.

They reached the other door. The Doctor yanking it opened and pushing Rose through ahead of him. She stumbled into the hallway, the Doctor slamming the door shut and using the sonic to lock it. Immediately it shook as large insect bodies crashed against it.

Everyone in the hallway were staring at them. There was no sign of Annabelle Conn.

"Okay, let's go!" the Doctor called out, pocketing his sonic. "Now!"

They all burst into action. Hannah, Tom and Ford had managed to move some of the debris away but the path was far from clear.

The Doctor and Rose helped Tom lift a particularly heavy metal beam out of the way when the door behind them burst opened. The Wirrn spilled out. Insects. Hundreds of them. Ford screamed. Tom cursed. And the Doctor clasped Rose around the waist hoisting her up onto the remaining debris.

"Go!" he told her.

But Rose reached out her hand for Ford instead, helping to pull him up. Then Hannah.

"Go, go," she urged them and they both scrambled away. Desperately lifting debris out of the way, struggling madly to get through.

The Doctor helped Tom up and Tom hurried over on hands and knees to help Hannah and Ford. Rose held out her hand for the Doctor. He glanced back at the coming swarm of insects. Insects as big as a forearm, crawling up the walls and running towards him across the floor.

"DOCTOR!" Rose screamed.

The Doctor twirled back around. He clasped her hand and she helped to haul him up.

"Big bugs," Rose muttered. "Big, giant bloody big bugs."

"Oh, these are nothing," the Doctor said as they crawled hurriedly over to the others. "Babies."

"They get bigger!?" Ford exclaimed, his voice shaking with strain or fear as he pushed a heavy piece of what used to be the ceiling out of the way.

"Um...yeah... quite a lot bigger," the Doctor admitted.

"Wonderful."

They cleared a hole in the debris. Everyone stared down into it worriedly. There was no knowing if it would lead anywhere. Going down it could mean they got trapped.

Rose looked around in desperation. There was nowhere else to go. The first of the newborn Wirrn were coming up towards them. Rose groaned and jumped into the hole they had created. She landed on the floor and found the debris had fallen to create a tunnel through it.

"Come on!" she called up to the others. "I think we can get through!"

Rose crawled in. It was a tight squeeze. At some sections she had to get down flat on her stomach and pull herself through. She could hear grunting and complaining behind her as the others followed. But that was not all she could hear. There were scratching all around them. A part of her feared that by the time they got out from under the debris the insects would be everywhere.

There was a scream. A very human scream. "Oh my god, hurry!" someone yelled from further back.

Rose thought it might be Hannah, the terror in the voice making it nearly unrecognisable.

Rose pulled herself forwards. She cut her leg against some sharp piece of metal and stifled a cry but she didn't slow down. There was no time for slowing down or checking the wound. She scrambled onwards, praying the others were keeping up behind her.

Finally she seemed to reach the edge of the fallout. Rose crawled out from under it and pushed herself quickly to her feet.

She turned around and found Tom coming out behind her. She took a hold of his arm and helped him up. He was sweating and shaking. Next was Hannah. Both Rose and Tom helped pull her out. Then there was no one.

Rose stared at the dark hole they had come out of. But no one else emerged. She felt panic chasing her heart into a canter, her blood rushing in her ears. No. She got down on her hands and knees, shining her torch into the opening.

"Doctor!" she called into the darkness. No response. "Doctor!" she screamed again, hearing the panic in her voice.

Hands grabbed her and tried to pull her away. She struggled against them.

"Let me go!" she growled, trying to twist free.

"Rose, we got to go!" Tom tried to tell her but she wasn't listening. "Rose!"

"No!" she insisted, trying to crawl back into the darkness. "I have to get him!"

"He's gone," Tom told her, not unkindly. "He's gone Rose. We got to go!"

She twisted free. "No!"

She dove into the hole. Only to have Tom grab her and pull her back out. He got his arms around her and dragged her to her feet.

"Stop!" he insisted. "Stop!"

But Rose wouldn't stop. Couldn't stop. Tom shook her hard to get her attention.

"I promised him I'd get you out," he was saying. "I swore!"

"NO!" was all Rose could form as a reply. She wouldn't leave. Not without the Doctor. Never without him. "Doctor!"

Tears were starting to stream down her face, unrivalled fear clogging up her throat.

Tom pulled her away while she struggled. She couldn't even hear the insects getting closer, their feet tapping rapidly against the walls as they rushed towards them. All she could hear was the ringing in her ears, the frantic pounding of her heart.

"Help me!" Tom begged Hannah.

She grabbed Rose and helped Tom drag her away while Rose struggled. Tom's and Hannah's eyes were flying frantically about. The insects were crawling across the walls, the light from their wrist-torches shining of their glistening bodies.

Hannah stumbled and fell to the floor. One of the beetle-like insects was suddenly on her leg. She screamed. Tom managed to kick it off her. Hannah scrambled back up, tears of fear and panic trailing down her cheeks.

Tom gave Rose a hard shake and spun her around in his arms. He yanked her within an inch of his face.

"You are going to get us killed!" he screamed at her.

Rose's eyes finally focused on the two of them. She couldn't let them die. It's not what the Doctor would have wanted. A hundred different moments flashed by behind her eyes. 

Moments of the Doctor. Always helping. Never thinking of himself. She couldn't be selfish. She had to help Tom and Hannah get out. She watched as the insects spilled out of the hole they had crawled through.

By extreme force of will she pushed the thought of the Doctor to the very back of her mind. It took every ounce of strength she possessed to turn away. It hurt, physically hurt just the thought of leaving him but she had to do it. 

He was strong, resourceful and clever. If he was still alive he would find his way out. And she had to believe he was alive because the thought of him gone was enough to cripple her if she let it.

Rose pulled free of Tom's hold and stomped on a bug that was inches away from his leg. It made a horribly squishy noise as it splattered under her foot. It wasn't like stepping on a beetle or a spider. It was more like stepping on a cat.  
Rose fought the urge to gag. She gave them both a nod.

"Let's go," she said and the three of them took off running.

They ran flat out, jumping over most of the obstacles in their way while the insects scurried with them across the walls. 

Babies, the Doctor had said. They were nothing but babies. They turned a corner and skidded to a halt. Nothing but babies.

Before them towered an insect the size of a large man. Its body was sleek and black. It's mandibles snapped at them. 

Up on its hind-legs, the squealing sound it was emitting sent shivers of fear down Rose's spine. It was something out of a nightmare. The kind of ones you woke up screaming from. 

She stared in horror for the blink of second, frozen in absolute fear. She had no doubt those mandibles could crush a man's skull and suck the marrow out of bones.

Rose got a hold of Tom's shirt and yanked him away. Suddenly another one came up at their right. Hannah screamed as it got a hold of Tom. 

Rose looked around in desperation for any kind of weapon. The Wirrn in front of her hit her and sent her flying. Rose knocked into the wall and slid to the ground with a grunt.

The Wirrn was screeching and coming for her. Her hands ran along the ground until her fingers miraculously closed around a lead pipe. She picked it up and struck out. She hit the Wirrn hard. It screeched and stumbled.

Rose scrambled to her feet, running past the momentary stunned Wirrn. The other Wirrn was bent over Tom, its mandibles snapping at him. Rose hit it over the head. It screeched and Rose hit it again. Hannah rushed over and grabbed Tom, pulling him to his feet.

They all turned and ran. The large Wirrn seemed to be calling the smaller ones to it. They were clearing off the wall, showing a door that there hadn't been any hope of them seeing when the Wirrn had been crawling all over it. 

They kicked the smaller Wirrn out of the way as they ran for the door.

Tom yanked it opened and ushered the girls inside. They found themselves in another hallway. Rose used the lead pipe to secure the door. They ran on.

"We have to find somewhere to stop," Hannah breathed. "I can't run anymore."

There were a few doors lining the hallway. Rose picked one at random but it was locked. Tom yanked on another one. Also locked. A smile spread on Rose's lips as she spotted a door marked Stairwell 4B.

"Over here!" she called to the others.

She pulled the door opened and rushed up the staircase, the others close behind.

Hannah was panting harder than Rose and Tom but Rose could still feel the objections in her own muscles. She was tired. They needed a moment. She stopped at a landing and opened a door marked with the number twelve. She peaked in.

It was a large room lined with rows of desks and computers. Some of the desks had toppled over, the computers lying broken on the ground. Many of the ceiling tiles had fallen down. There was a lounge area with water coolers and a couple of couches in one corner. It seemed to be mostly standing.

"Come on," Rose told them and slunk inside.

Rose was looking around as she hurried over to the sofas, looking for any movement. Any threat. They put Hannah down in one of the couches and Tom got her a drink of water.

Rose remained standing, folding her arms across her chest, her eyes on the room. She was trying her damnedest not to think about the Doctor.

Tom nudged her arm, holding out a cup of water for her. She took it without looking at him. She swallowed the water in one gulp, not noticing that her hands were shaking until Tom clasped the one holding the empty cup.

"He saved our lives," he said. "He died saving all our lives."

Rose pulled her hand out of his. "He's not dead," she told him firmly.

"Rose..." he said sadly. "...those things were everywhere. He couldn't have made it out."

Rose squashed the paper mug and let it fall to the floor.

"He's not dead," she insisted and walked away, heading back the way they'd come.

"Where are you going?" Hannah called after her. 

Rose twirled around and glared at them. "I'm going back to get him," she told them.

Hannah rose out of the sofa."You can't!" she exclaimed. "Those things...!"

"I don't care!" Rose spat. "I'm not leaving him!"

Rose was so worked up she didn't notice the sudden look of absolute shook on both Tom's and Hannah's faces.

"I'm not leaving him." she repeated.

"Rose."

She froze. It was his voice. She twirled around and there he stood. Pinstriped suit, chucks and spiky hair. Alive. Amazingly and utterly alive.

"You're alive," Rose breathed. "You're alive."

"Last I checked," he answered, his smile a touch sad.

Rose marched over to him and slapped his arm as hard as she could. "Don't you ever do that again!" she told him harshly. "You hear me! Never!" She hit his chest with her closed fist.

The Doctor caught her hand. She tried to pull free but he didn't release her. Within a second he had caught her up in his arms and pulled her to his chest. She was too exhausted to fight it. Any of it.

Tears of anger and relief streamed down her face as she let herself relax against him. The Doctor ran his hand soothingly up and down her back. He whispered comforting words in her ear that she couldn't understand.

"What are you saying?" she mumbled into his shirt.

He kissed the top of her head and for a long while he didn't answer. 

"It's not important," was all he said then.

Rose finally pulled away from him. She felt his reluctance to let her go by his hands lingering for a moment at her waist. 

But she stepped back. Out of the protective circle of his arms. She felt it as she did, that hum under her skin receding.

Low level connection, he'd said. It didn't feel -low level-, Rose thought. 

The Doctor's eyes lingered on her but she was too much of a coward to look up and meet his gaze. Too scared that she would see what Tom had talked about. 

He looks at you like loving you is killing him. 

Brave Rose Tyler, a coward.

"How on earth did you get out of there?" Hannah asked, astounded.

The Doctor put his hands casually in his trouser pockets.  
"Weeell," he drew the word out. "I'm just really clever," he said and gave Hannah a smile and a wink.

"So what do we do now?" Tom asked. "Are we taking the stairs?"

"The ones back there can only take us up a couple of more floors," the Doctor told them, pointing with his thumb behind him to indicate the stairwell they had just used. "Then its collapsed."

"Are we even above ground yet?" Rose wondered, looking around but seeing no windows.

"No," the Doctor shook his head. "We're still underground. Five more floors to reach the surface."

"Five!?" Hannah exclaimed. "I thought we were closer."

"You know, you lot," the Doctor said, sounding a tad irritated. "For working here your knowledge of the building is abysmal."

"The compound's huge," Rose explained. "Everyone usually just sticks to their own department."

The Doctor rolled his eyes, like they were all idiots.

"Doctor," Rose said, thinking it best to get his mind on a different track before he really got into insulting them. He turned his eyes on her. "Annabelle Conn, she said there were more things to fear down here than those Wirrn."

"What does that mean?" Hannah asked.

"I bet they're all out," Tom said.

"What's out?" Hannah asked.

Tom looked a tad uncomfortable as he answered, "The... ah... experiments."

The Doctor took a step towards him. "What experiments?"

"Creatures... monster.” Tom swallowed hard. “Aliens.”

"And you experimented on them?" the Doctor demanded to know. His upper lip twisted in anger over the cruelty of such a thing.

"Not me," Saks defended himself, taking a step back. "The Conn sisters. They were in charge down here. I just worked security. I don't..."

"How many?" Rose asked.

Saks shook his head. "I don't know. There are hundreds of rooms."

"Cells you mean," the Doctor cut him off.

Saks gaze flickered back to the Doctor's. "I guess," he said. "I've seen some of them but not all. There is a cell with just a statue in it. But they say it moves when no one's looking. And one cell was just black, even if the lights were on."

"Anything else?" the Doctor asked.

"I never saw it, but I hear they have Cyberman suits and... dead Daleks. And they... cut them opened."

The Doctor gave Rose a glare.

"Oh, you think I knew about this?" she asked, offended he could think so.

"No," he admitted. "But you were suppose to be cleaning this place up weren't you?"

"I've been trying," Rose told him.

"Yeah, until you decided to go and get yourself killed."

"What choice did I have?"

"To not to!"

Rose sighed in frustration. "Right, I should just have stayed put because that is what you would have done, is it?”

"No, but I'm not you," the Doctor said.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You would never understand.”

“No, Doctor, what? What exactly wouldn’t I understand?”

“That you're important!" he threw out. 

"And you're not?!"

The Doctor took a step closer to her. "To me," he growled, glaring at her. "You're important to me."

Rose glared back at him, fighting the urge to yell at him that he was important too. So important.

When she'd feared she'd lost him it had taken all her strength just to keep going. No matter what he'd done he would never stop being important. That was a truth she couldn't fight no matter how much she might want to.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·


	11. An end in fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Rose discovers more horrifying truths about Torchwood as they fight to get out. But not everyone is going to make it.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The Doctor was sitting at one of the desks. He was using his sonic screwdriver to get the computer working. Hannah was standing behind him and Rose sat on the sofa while Tom was kneeling down in front of her, inspecting her leg.

"You said you just cut it?" he asked.

"Yeah, when we were crawling through the debris," Rose answered. She tore her eyes away from the Doctor and Hannah and looked at Tom. "What?" she asked.

"Well, because it's almost healed," Tom said.

Rose glanced down at her leg. There was a tear in her jeans and blood but Tom was right. The wound was practically healed.

"Do you have any idea how that's possible?" Tom asked.

Rose shook her head. She had an idea but not one she could share.

"Ah!" The Doctor exclaimed in triumph.

Rose jumped to her feet and hurried over to him, Tom trailing behind.

"I found us a route to the surface!" He was pointing at the screen. It displayed a map of the building. "We take the stairs up the two floors, then cut through this room, take that corridor, down those stairs, through whatever this area here is to stairwell 4A and hope there won't be anything blocking our way. Simple."

"Yeah, right. Simple. Nothing to it," Rose said with sarcasm, thinking of the Wirrn and who knew what else. Not to mention Annabelle Conn skulking around.

The Doctor shot to his feet. "I saved the schematics to my screwdriver if anything unforeseen should occur." He turned around. "Allons-y." 

He hurried past them and led them out of the room.

They rushed up the stairs. The Doctor took two steps in one bound as though he was simply too impatient to do it normally.

As they reached the second landing Rose saw what the Doctor had been talking about. There was a big chunk of the stairs missing and the rest looked unsafe to say the least. 

The Doctor used the sonic to get the door opened. He walked in carefully, looking around. Hannah followed him. Then Tom and Rose last. The room was pitch black like everything else. They used the torches on their wrists, shining the beams around.

From what Rose could see, the floor, walls and ceiling were all white. They were standing in a corridor. On each side were rooms encased in glass.

Rose walked over to one, shining her torch-light inside. It was some sort of lab. In the middle of it was a gurney with a creature strapped to it. 

Rose shone the light at it. The creature didn't seem to have skin. She could see the muscles, half of its face covered with what looked like bone. Rose realised that she recognised it. She could even name it. Sycorax. 

She glanced over at the Doctor. He was by another room, looking inside it.

The Sycorax had tried to invade her Earth when he had been new. Just when the Doctor had regenerated. She remembered how scared she'd been. 

Scared that he was too different to be the Doctor anymore. But he had proved her wrong. He had saved them all and showed her that even though his face was different at the core he was still that same man that she had run away with.

Rose looked back at the Sycorax. It had wires and tubes coming out of its chest. They must have been experimenting on it. Just like Tom had said. Rose didn't have much love for the Sycorax but surely no one deserved that.

She turned and walked over to the Doctor where he sat hunkered down in front of the glass of another room. Rose started as she saw what was on the other side of the glass.

It looked like a human woman except her skin was silver. She had horrible burns all down the side of her throat and down her arm. Not only that, she was blind. Her eyes gouged out. 

She had her hand pressed against the glass as she lay on the floor. Just like the Sycorax she had wires and tubes attached to her.

Is this what would have happened to Rose had she been left in Dr. Conn's care?

The Doctor put his hand against the woman's on the glass.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm so sorry."

The silver woman opened her mouth as though she was screaming. But they heard nothing, her torment silent to them. Not that it mattered. Her agony was carved into every delicate line of her face. Burned into her skin.

"Can't we get in?" Rose asked, her voice unbearably sad. "Can't we help her?"

"These rooms are deadlock sealed," the Doctor explained. A different shade of sadness coloured his voice. The resigned kind. He knew there was nothing he could do. "I can't open them."

The woman's mouth went slack. Her eyelids dropped down over her empty eye-sockets. Her head fell against the glass and she died while they could do nothing but watch.

Rose reached out and clasped the Doctor's hand, twining her fingers with his. Instantly she felt a wave of the compassion and sorrow he felt for the dead woman in front of him. For all the creatures hidden away in these rooms. 

Tortured and hurt and alone. Rose wanted to cry.  
She gave his hand a squeeze and he returned it instantly. 

He was grateful she was there. That in that moment she didn't abandon him. Rose wanted to tell him that she never would. Like she had promised. But she said nothing.  
The Doctor suddenly bounded up, his hand slipping out of hers.

"Let's go," he growled, not looking at any of them.

They made their way slowly through the room. All the glass rooms held different creatures. All of them were dead or dying. It must be at least twenty of them.

Rose could tell the Doctor was struggling not to start yelling at Rose and the other's. Simply to get all his frustration out at not being able to help. Then he stopped dead.

He shone his torch at the wall in front of them. Written in big block letters were the words, LAB 7. Which meant there were at least six more of these. The Doctor twirled around. His eyes fixed on Tom.

"You worked down here!" he spat. "You were okay with this were you?!"

Tom took a step back. "I...I..." he stuttered.

Rose clasped the Doctor's arm. "Come on, Doctor," she said. "Yelling at Tom won't help."

He turned on her. "Oh, Tom is it now?" he growled. 

His scowl was enough to make even the bravest back away but Rose stayed firm.

"Stop it," she told him. "We don't have time for this."

Something made Rose glance past his shoulder and her eyes widened in surprise.

"How did that get here?" she asked and shone her torch at a statue that had suddenly appeared behind Hannah.

The Doctor twirled around and he froze. "Hannah," he said carefully. She looked at him with incomprehension. "Turn around," he said. "Rose keep looking at it. Don't blink. Don't even blink."

"What is it?" Rose asked as Hannah turned around. She stumbled back as she saw the statue that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.

"That's that statue thing," Tom exclaimed.

"Everyone, just keep looking at it," the Doctor ordered.

"What is it?" Rose repeated with more urgency.

It was the statue of an angel. The kind you saw at graveyards. Beautiful but tragic. Its hands covered its eyes as though it was crying over the dead and cracks broke up the stone.

"A weeping angel," the Doctor explained. "It can only move as long as it's not seen. Keep looking at it and it can't hurt you. But blink and you're dead."

They all began backing away, everyone's eyes fixed on the angel. The Doctor held out his arm, urging Rose back ahead of him, keeping himself between her and the angel. They reached the door out of the room.

"Just keep looking at it," the Doctor told them as he turned around and used the sonic screwdriver to swiftly unlock the door. He got Rose out of it first.

"Come on," he told the other two.

They hurried out after Rose, looking at the angel for as long as they could. 

The Doctor backed out of the room. He threw the door shut and locked it. A bang sounded from the other side and the door shook. The Doctor took a step back.

"Run," he said.

They ran through the hallway. The sound of the angel banging against the door chasing them. 

They reached the stairs and ran down them just as the banging stopped. The angel was through it. 

The Doctor glanced back but did not see it. "Hurry!" he screamed at them.

Rose skipped the last couple of steps, jumping down. She ran for the big metal door ahead of them. It wasn't locked. 

She pushed it opened and got hit by a wave of cold air. Turning back to the others she saw the angel on the stairs. It was a hairsbreadth away from the Doctor.

"Angel!" she screamed.

Rose stepped to the side. The others ran passed her while she kept her eyes on the angel.

It didn't look like it had before. All benevolent. Now its arms reached out towards them. Its nails were like claws. Its face twisted with razor sharp fangs protruding from its mouth.

The Doctor stopped as he reached Rose and turned around, his eyes focused on the angel. He clasped Rose's hand and pulled her with him. 

They backed inside the cold room. Rose reached for the door to close it.

But just as they were going to slam it shut a stone hand appeared in the opening and stopped them. They had lost sight of the angel for a mere second. It moved unbelievably fast.

"Back up, back up," the Doctor urged. "Where are we?" the Doctor asked.

Rose looked around while the Doctor kept his eyes on the angel's hand.

"You don't want to know," Rose said as she saw what horror surrounded them.

She had thought it couldn't possibly get any worse after those labs. But it could. There were tanks lined up along the walls. Cylindrical tanks holding creatures that looked like they were mixes between different races. 

She saw one that she thought might be part Wirrn and part human. Another one with a distorted body and crippled bat wings. These were all the failed test subjects, kept fresh for further research.

How could this have been down here and she had never known? How could she have let this happen? She should have looked closer into Torchwood. She shouldn't have been so naive as to think the old regime was dead. How many had suffered at the hands of the Conn sisters? Hundreds? Thousands?

"Rose, tell me!" the Doctor demanded.

"Failed experiments," Rose had to struggle to get the words out. "Preserved in liquid filled tanks."

"How many?" the Doctor asked.

"Fifty? Sixty?" She saw the Doctor's hands clench into fists.

"I got the angel," Rose said sadly so he was free to look.

The Doctor tore his eyes away from it and looked around the room. His hearts broke as he looked at the creatures in those tanks. He didn't care what it took. He would burn what was left of this place to the ground.

A door suddenly opened at their left. On instinct the Doctor and Rose turned at the movement. Annabelle Conn came out carrying a metal briefcase. She stopped dead as she spotted them.

"The angel!" Tom screamed.

Rose's head flipped back. The angel was inside the room.

"I got it!" Tom called.

"I really didn't think any of you would make it this far," Annabelle Conn was saying. "You really have quite surprised me."

The Doctor rushed towards her. "Your days are numbered!" he screamed at her.

Annabelle raised a gun. The Doctor stopped.

"Or maybe I should be pointing it at her," Annabelle said. She turned the gun on Rose. "I took a look at the security footage from when you murdered my sister. Unprovoked."

"Unprovoked!?" Rose screamed. "She tortured me! She would have killed the Doctor!"

Annabelle leaned her head to the side as she regarded Rose.

"What makes you think she would have killed your Doctor? Unless you could read her mind there was no indication she was doing anything but leaving."

Rose clamped her mouth shut.

"Interesting," Annabelle allowed. "Perhaps you are just what we need after all."

"You won't get anywhere near her as long as I breathe," the Doctor promised Annabelle darkly.

Annabelle turned the gun back to the Doctor. "Then perhaps I should just kill you," Annabelle concluded simply. She talked about murder as though it was nothing more than grocery shopping.

"No!" Rose called out and got in-between the Doctor and Annabelle.

"Rose, don't," the Doctor warned. 

Annabelle rolled her eyes at them. "Honestly," she sighed. "One minute you can't bare to have him touch you and the next you want to take a bullet for him? Make up your mind."

"It's simple," Rose ground out. "If anyone's gonna shoot him it's gonna be me."

The Doctor clasped Rose's arm, trying to pull her back. But she tore her arm free. Annabelle laughed. It wasn't a giggle like her sister. It was a throaty sort of laugh.

"Lovely," Annabelle said, smiling. "But I really must be going." The smile disappeared from her face. "I don't suppose you would just go with me," Annabelle said, looking at Rose. "Nor that you would let me take her," she said looking at the Doctor.

"No," Rose said.

"Never," the Doctor vowed.

"I guess your blood and tissue samples simply must be enough then." Annabelle indicated the briefcase in her hand.

"You have samples of my blood in there?" Rose asked in disbelief.

"Along with all our other research, yes," Annabelle confirmed. She glanced at her watch. "As I said, I really must be going." 

She moved towards another door, her gun still pointed at Rose and the Doctor. 

"And if I were you I'd try my best to be out of here within the next thirty minutes or so," she told them.

"And why is that?" Rose asked.

The smile returned to Annabelle's lips. "Boom," she said and winked at them.

Annabelle was so focused on Rose and the Doctor that she didn't pay attention to Tom and Hannah. Tom jumped her from behind. Desperately he reached for her gun, trying to wrestle it out of her grip. 

Annabelle screamed in frustration. She fought to twist free from him. Both Rose and the Doctor ran for them. A shot went off. The loud noise echoed through the large, cold room.

"Get off me!" Annabelle screamed at Tom.

But her movements were hindered by the large metal briefcase she refused to relinquish and Tom wouldn't let go.  
He managed to knock her knee out from under her. Annabelle went down. Tom finally wrenched the gun away from her.

Annabelle screamed in frustration and stumbled to her feet. She clutched the briefcase to her chest.

"Ignorant, simple minded fools," she spat at them. "There is so much more at stake than you could ever comprehend!"

Rose's eyes suddenly fell on Hannah. She was lying on the floor and clutching her hands to her stomach. Blood was spilling out between her fingers. That stray bullet. It had hit her. Rose forgot about Annabelle and ran for the girl.

Rose fell to her knees next to her. "It's alright, Hannah," she said, her voice shaking. "You're gonna be alright."

Rose took her head and put it in her lap, thinking she shouldn't have to lie on the cold floor. Rose pressed down on the wound, trying desperately to stop the bleeding.

"You're gonna be alright," Rose repeated.

She looked up, glaring at Annabelle Conn who was backing away from them. She was still clutching the briefcase to her chest as though her life depended on it.

"You shot her!" Rose screamed at the woman.

Annabelle looked over at Rose and Hannah. "I am sorry about that," Annabelle said. "Human life shouldn't be wasted lightly."

"And what makes human life so much more valuable?" the Doctor wanted to know.

"Oh, come now, Doctor," Annabelle said patiently, just a hint of strain to her voice. "If it is alien it is ours," she said and smiled.

"And what about Clive and Ford?" Rose demanded.

"Casualties are to be expected in order to push the boundaries of science," Annabelle explained simply. She spoke the words as though she had said them a thousand times. Like a mantra.

"Progress is worthless if you have to commit murder to accomplish it," the Doctor countered.

Annabelle sighed. "Semantics."

"I can't decide who is crazier, you or your sister," Rose growled.

Annabelle's eyes focused dead on Rose. "I've been dying since I was six years old," she said, her face betraying no real emotion. "My sister was born to save me."

The cold hearted woman smiled at them then and Rose felt sick. She clutched Hannah's hand and the girl squeezed it weakly in return.

Dr. Conn might have been cruel but she had loved her sister. She had done all these horrible things in order to save her. But why had Annabelle done them? For herself? For progress? Because she simply could?

"You're despicable," Rose said.

"Despicable? No, Rose Tyler I simply know what I want and don't let anyone stop me from getting it." She gave Rose a mocking smile. "Unlike you."

Rose gaze flickered a moment towards the Doctor when a sudden realisation struck her. Where was the angel? Hannah must have been the one watching it and when she got shot it was free to move. Rose raised her torch, running the beam frantically around the room. She couldn't find it.

The Doctor backed away from Annabelle. Back to the others. Something told Rose he knew something the rest of them didn't.

Tom was still pointing the gun at Annabelle. The Doctor stopped next to him. He put his hand over the gun, urging him to lower it. Reluctantly Tom did.

"Let her go," he told him. Annabelle narrowed her eyes at them. "Her time's up."

Rose lowered her arm with the torch, leaving Annabelle in sudden darkness.

They heard her gasp and the Doctor raised his torch for just a moment. They saw the angel, its arm clasped around Annabelle's throat. Annabelle struggled desperately to breathe.

"I can't die like this," she gasped and the Doctor lowered his torch back down. They heard the horrible sound of bone snapping.

The Doctor scrambled over to Rose and Hannah.

"The angel," Hannah breathed weakly.

"Don't worry about that. It got what it came for," the Doctor said.

The Doctor ran the sonic over Hannah. Rose caught his eye. He gave her the tiniest shake of his head. Rose swallowed hard.

"It's gonna be okay," Rose told her again.

Hannah looked up at her. "I thought you...you didn't even like me," she said, struggling to get the words out.

Rose smiled kindly down at her. "I was just jealous of you," Rose said softly. Hannah looked at her in confusion. "You were helping the Doctor," Rose explained. "You were doing what I used to do. What I couldn't do. It made me miss it that much more."

"I'm sorry," Hannah breathed but Rose immediately shook her head.

"Don't be sorry," Rose told her. "You were brilliant, ya hear. Brilliant. We would never have made it without you."

"She's right Hannah," the Doctor said softly. "You saved us."

Hannah smiled weakly up at them. She turned her gaze on the Doctor. "You wer... were wrong, you kn... know." And with those words her eyes flutter closed. Her last breath left her lips.

Rose felt tears sting her eyes. Hanna had been strong and brave. And Rose had been too wrapped up in herself and the Doctor to appreciate her. It wasn't fair. She should have lived. The Doctor put his hand over Rose's while she was still clutching Hannah's.

"Rose," he said softly. "We got to go. You heard Annabelle. This place is going to blow up. We gotta go."

Reluctantly Rose let the Doctor pull her to her feet. The Doctor turned to Tom.

"Run," he said. "I got her. Run."

Tom watched Rose for a second than he turned and ran. 

The Doctor squeezed Rose's blood soaked hand and let his mind bind with hers. Giving her all the strength he could.

"Come on," he said. 

Rose nodded and they ran.

They ran through the broken Torchwood halls, the Doctor clasping Rose's hand in his. Together they ran. They found the door marked Stairwell 4A. Rushing up the stairs they followed Tom's torchlight up ahead like a beacon in the darkness.

The first tremor shook the building when they still had two floors left to the surface. Rose stumbled. This was it, she thought. They wouldn't make it. The Doctor pulled her back on her feet.

"It's the generators!" He dragged her with him. "One is set to ignite the next and so on! There's still time!"

They ran up the stairs, Rose not caring that her chest was burning with the exertion. There was no stopping. Stopping meant dying. And she would not die in that place.  
Another tremor. Bigger than the last one.

Suddenly there was nothing but air beneath Rose's feet. The stairs collapsed under her. Her stomach dropped and she fell. She was yanked to a sudden stop as the Doctor clutched her hand. Her legs dangled in the empty air.

"I got you," the Doctor vowed.  
Rose looked up at him and saw sweat beading his forehead. She struggled to find some kind of purchase for her feet. But there was nothing but air.

"Give me your other hand!"

Rose threw her arm out towards him and amazingly he caught it. He dragged her up. Rose could feel the rest of the stairs crackling beneath them. Ready to give way.

Another tremor and they were both on their feet running for their lives.

They burst out of the stairwell at ground level.

"This way!" Tom screamed ahead of them.

They ran through a corridor, turned left down another and then right. Tom had stopped at a door up ahead.

"It's locked!" he screamed back at them. "I don't have my keycard!"

"Move!" the Doctor barked, pulling his screwdriver out of his pocket.

He shone the blue light at the card reader, the familiar humming accompanying it. He screamed in frustration and slammed his hand against the wall.

"No!"

"Doctor, what's wrong?" Rose asked, her voice desperate.  


They had to get through that door.

"Deadlock seal," he growled. "I can't...I can't open it."

Both Rose and Tom's faces drained of colour. No.  
Tom turned and yanked on the handle. He banged frantically on the door. 

The Doctor was leaning against the wall, staring up at the ceiling. He lowered his head and his eyes found Rose. She walked over to him. In his beautiful dark eyes she could see the pain of failure. But this was not his fault.

Tom stopped banging and cursing at the door. He slunk defeated to the floor. Another tremor shook the building.  


Rose took the Doctor's hand. It's alright, she mouthed silently. The Doctor shook his head.

"You need to stop saying that when everything is anything but alright," he said.

"I've said that before?" Rose asked.

The Doctor nodded. He reached out his hand and curled a lock of her blonde hair behind her ear. Her hair was coated with dust and she had dirt on her face. She was a mess. The most beautiful mess he'd ever seen.

"When you were dying in my arms," he said. His eyes were so unbelievably sad. "I couldn't understand how you could say that." He took a deep breath, his hand lingering at her cheek. "How could anything be alright if you were leaving me?"

Rose reached up her other hand and curled it around his.

"I'm here now," she said. "I'm not leaving you."

The Doctor took her and pulled her into his arms. He held her to him so fiercely nothing short of Armageddon was going to tear her away from him. Perhaps not even then.

Rose wrapped her arms around him in turn. 

_My Doctor,_ she thought and if she wasn't mistaken she got a softly whispered, _my Rose_ from him in turn.

She buried her face against his shoulder and waited for it all to end in fire.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the bit of a cliffhanger. I’ll try and get the next chapter up as quickly as possible. Promiiiise ♡︎♡︎


	12. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annabelle Conn might be gone but the present she left is about to go off. Can they make it out in time or is this the end of the line?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of a short chapter but it’s sets things up so I hope it’s ook :)

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The moments before were dominated by silence. No one said a word, barely even took a breath. They just waited. Waited for the end. Rose had one fearful thought that it would hurt but the Doctor's arms tightened around her and a comforting touch of reassurance brushed across the bond.

Rose tried to do the same for the Doctor but she was too new to it to know if she succeeded. The Doctor leaned down and nuzzled her neck.

I feel you, she felt as a soft whisper against her mind. It won't hurt. It will be quick. Don't be afraid.

Rose squeezed her eyes shut and held on as tightly as she could. If this was the last she was to feel she wanted to feel the Doctor. Only him.

It took a while before the beep registered in either of their minds. Rose and the Doctor looked up at the exact same time. 

For a moment they stared at each other in confusion. Then they both turned to the card reader right next to the Doctor's elbow. They both stared at the green light and then the door was yanked opened. There stood Mickey Smith.

All three of them stared at him in disbelief.

"Well, come on then," Mickey told them. "This is no time for a snog, the buildings about to blow up."

Rose stumbled back from the Doctor and he released her. Tom struggled up from the floor. Mickey turned around and ran and the three of them quickly ran after him.

They came out into the lobby, the great big glass windows letting in the late afternoon sun. The sudden, bright, light blinded them and Rose had to blink several times to finally get her eyes to adjust.

Mickey was accompanied by a Torchwood Search and Rescue Team. Rose recognising their gear. They urged them all to hurry.

"We got less than four minutes!" Mickey called over his shoulder.

They ran through the lobby, practically crashing through the front doors. Getting outside they all ran flat out.

"In the car!" Mickey screamed.

Everyone threw themselves into the back of the tactical vehicle belonging to the TSR-team. The driver floored it.

No one had bothered to close the doors to the back of the van. They swung back and forth as the car turned.

Rose and the Doctor sat and stared out as a deafening sound, deep and rolling like thunder echoed through the entire city. Then it all collapsed.

They watched in horrid fascination as metal beams crumbled and glass shattered. The whole building seemed to fold in on itself as the foundations gave way, the ground swallowing it up.

They all watched as the Torchwood Tower disappeared in a cloud of smoke and dust.

Two from the TSR- team leaned out and grabbed the doors. Hastily they pulled them shut, stopping the dust cloud that was rolling towards them from getting into the van. They felt it as it hit. The car shook and the sound of a thousand small stones hitting it hammered in their ears like hail.

Mickey clasped Rose's shoulder lightly to get her attention.

"You okay?" he asked.

She nodded. Rose wanted to thank him but it didn't feel like a simple 'thanks' was quite enough.

"I'm okay too, thanks for asking," the Doctor cut in. 

Mickey just rolled his eyes at that.

"Well as long as we're announcing our wellbeing," Tom said.

"I'm okay too." He raised his hand and gave a little wave.

"Good for you," the Doctor told him with a grin. Nothing like narrowly escaping being blown into bits to put a smile on the Doctor's face.

"Me too," one of the TSR-guys cut it.

"And me," another one announced.

Soon they were all happily declaring that they were alright. 

The Doctor turned his grin on Rose and it took less than two seconds before she smiled back at him. Rose shook her head. Only the Doctor could get everyone to smile after a catastrophe.

But Rose's smile quickly faltered and she felt a pang in her chest. A pang for the lives that were lost in that rubble heap that used to be Torchwood. She turned to Mickey.

"Do we have a death and injured count?" she asked him quietly.

"Now that you're here," he looked at Rose and Tom. "We have a total of five people who were supposed to be in the building at the time, missing."

"Five?" she asked in surprise. Mickey nodded. "Who?"

"Clive Bartley, Ford Velcon, Hannah Sky, Annabelle Conn and Elsa Conn." Mickey counted them off on his fingers.

Those were all the ones that had been with them. That they had personally lost.

"Everyone else was already out by the time the first tremors  
shook the building and the first sections collapsed."

"How?" Rose breathed in disbelief.

"Fire alarm," the Doctor said, clearly having heard the conversation. "I had Mickey trigger it before I went down to get you. Just to clear me a path."

"And to cause a hell of a ruckus," Mickey cut in.

"But it's not just like pulling a switch or putting a lighter under a fire-detector," Rose objected. "They wouldn't have called a building wide evacuation unless there was an actual fire."

"That's why I sat an actual fire," Mickey declared rather proudly. "Not a big one o' course. Just some ferns and stuff I never quite fancied in the cafeteria."

Rose stared at the pair of them in disbelief. "You did this together?" she asked, sounding as though that was the most unbelievable thing she could imagine.

"Of course," the Doctor said.

"You were in trouble," Mickey offered simply. "I might not be his biggest fan..." Mickey pointed at the Doctor. "...but it's not like there's anyone else I would rather have on my team if it involved saving you."

The van pulled to a stop. "Minimum safe distance reached," the driver called back to them.

The TSR- team flung the back doors opened and bounded out of the van. Rose got out after the Doctor and Mickey and Tom followed her.

"Rose! Rose!"

A frantic, blonde woman came running towards them. She pushed several people out the way. Apparently they weren't moving fast enough for her. Rose flung herself into her mother's arms.

"You're alive. Oh, Rose. When Pete said the building was on fire and Mickey said the Doctor had gone in to get you." Her mum was rambling, hugging her frantically. 

Rose smiled into her mother's hair. "I love you mum," she mumbled. "You know that, yeah?"

"Of course sweetheart," she said.

Rose looked up and saw Pete Tyler coming towards them. Before Rose had a chance to break free from her mother Pete had thrown his arms around them and hugged them both.

"You got my TARDIS out right?" the Doctor leaned closer and asked Mickey. "Please don't tell me I have to dig her out of there?" He looked over in the general direction of the pile of rocks that used to be the Torchwood Tower.

"Yes, we got your box," Mickey sighed. "Though you have Pete to thank for it. What happened down there anyway? I know my little fire didn't cause half the building to collapse."

"Those Conn women," the Doctor answered evasively. "They were insane."

"Riiight," Mickey drew the word out slowly, sounding as though he didn't quite believe that simplified explanation.

"Well Torchwood will undoubtedly want to debrief both you and Rose," Mickey said.

The Doctor glanced over at Mickey, a question in his eyes. Mickey gave him a pointed look.

"Yes," Mickey answered the Doctor's unspoken question. "If you don't want to answer question you don't have an answer for I suggest you get out of here." Mickey clapped the Doctor on the back. "Your ride is parked on the lorry back there." Mickey pointed behind them.

The Doctor glanced back to the spot Mickey indicated and saw his TARDIS, standing solemnly on the back of a black unmarked lorry. It felt unbelievable good seeing her again. It always did. 

He turned back to Rose where she stood, still surrounded by her family. The initial joy that had filled his chest when he had seen them together was slowly fading.  
How could he ever take her away from this, he thought. 

She deserved to have this. To be surrounded by family and the people that loved her. Not trapped in the dark with him. He rubbed his eyes tiredly.

Some medic came up to him, asking if he needed medical assistance. He shook his head. People were running around every which way. Dust still spun in the air. He saw Tom hugging some brown haired girl and Mickey was talking to Pete while Rose was still with her mother. The Doctor was the only one that didn't belong. The only one out of time and space.

Rose finally pulled away from her mother.

"Can we please just go home now," her mum was saying. "Tony's been alone with the nanny half the day. She must be going mental by now."

Rose nodded. She turned around looking for the Doctor. There was a whirlwind of people running around. Medics and firemen and Torchwood operatives. But nowhere did she see the Doctor.

Rose moved away from her family. Her eyes scanning over the many people, looking for the telltale sign of a slim figure and pinstriped suit. But the Doctor was nowhere to be seen.

"Doctor!" she called. She twirled around, her hair blowing into her face and dust getting in her eyes. She brushed her hair impatiently away. "Doctor!" 

She heard her mum calling her name, trying to get her attention. But Rose hurried away, searching the crowd. Her eyes caught on something familiar and blue. The TARDIS. Of course. She smiled a little as she headed over to the wonderful blue box, her brief touch of panic quickly receding. 

Rose climbed up on the lorry bed. Her hand froze at the TARDIS door. Should she knock?

The key she still had was in a chain in her room at home. She'd always worn it before but had forgotten to put it on when she had left for Torchwood. She hadn't used it when she had found the TARDIS outside of Martha Jones's house because she hadn't been sure of her welcome. She'd been away from the Doctor for a long time. What if he hadn't wanted her back?

But what about now? Did he want her to stay now? Did she? And did that mean she should knock or not?

As Rose stood there debating with herself the TARDIS door opened itself. Just a crack. Spilling a sliver of warm, yellow light at her feet. Rose sighed.

"Thinking I'm being an idiot are you?" Rose asked at the TARDIS. "You're probably right," she muttered as she pushed opened the door and stepped inside.

The minute she got beyond the doors she felt a calm sweep over her. She closed her eyes and sighed with pleasure. She didn't have to keep that careful control while in the TARDIS. She could it let go. Like finally being able to relax a tense muscle.

Rose wandered carefully inside. Oh, how she loved this ship, she thought. She loved everything about it. It's haphazard-looking construction, the way the TARDIS always hummed in welcome. The way she could sometimes feel the ship twisting and shaping herself around her.

Rose ran her hand along the centre console. She could feel the ship now in a way she hadn't quite been able to before. 

After looking into the heart of TARDIS she'd thought that she'd felt something. But at the time it had been to faint to define. It wasn't anymore. The TARDIS felt like a living breathing thing to Rose. A caring one. A kind one. But stubborn. Ever so stubborn.

So what have you done to our Doctor? Rose thought. Hidden him away?

"I really do think that dampers are the way to go..."

Rose twirled around at the sound of the Doctor's voice. He stopped dead and looked up from fiddling with his screwdriver. He looked around in confusion.

"How...?" he stuttered. "This isn't where I was going."

Rose smiled, thinking the TARDIS could also be rather cheeky if she wanted to.

"Doctor?" Rose peaked out from behind the console.

He started. "Rose." He looked adorably lost as he looked at her. "What are you doing here?"

"I can go," Rose offered, thinking she must have disturbed him in the middle of something.

"No," he hastened to say. "I just thought you... ah... would be with your family."

"Yeah, we're heading back. Mum thinks Tony will have driven the nanny mad so..."

"Tony? Ah right, your baby brother. Yes, right." The Doctor turned his gaze back to the screwdriver in his hands. 

"Good."

"I just wanted to say, thanks," Rose said. The Doctor's eyes flickered up to hers. "For coming to get me and everything."

"You know I'll always come for you," he said without looking at her. He leaned against the railing next to him

"Yeah, but things are... different, complicated now," Rose pointed out.

His eyes rose to meet hers again. "Are they?"

She couldn't interpret the strange tone he put to the words. She regarded him for a moment. Why did this feel so awkward? If there was one thing she didn't want it was to be awkward with the Doctor. No matter what he'd done he would always be a part of her. Whether she was with him or not.

"Doctor...-" she began.

"I need to ask you something," he interrupted her. 

Rose fell silent.

"Okay," she said, hesitantly. She wasn't sure she liked the sound of that.

The Doctor pocketed his screwdriver and strolled over to the console. He stopped next to her, running his hand over a couple of switches without flipping them. He was silent for a long time.

"When you left..." he began, sounding so unsure it actually made Rose a little worried. "When you left for Torchwood," he clarified. He turned his head and looked at her, his brown eyes carefully questioning. "Did you feel anything?" he asked.

Rose frowned at him. "What do you mean?" she asked, not at all sure what he was referring to.

He drew in a hasty breath and pushed away, straightening.

"Forget it," he said. "You'd know if you did." He walked away from her, around the console. He drew the screen to him and turned the dials. "You better head back. Your mother's already worried about you."

"Doctor?"

"Best ride with them," he said. "The TARDIS is still a little unpredictable. She doesn't like this universe. Can't trust I can get her there properly."

"Alright," Rose allowed hesitantly.

She turned away and headed for the doors. She stopped halfway there.

"There was this strange pressure over my chest.” She placed her hand over her heart remembering how she hadn't quite been able to define what it had been. But it had steadily gotten more and more painful. "Is that what you mean?"

It took a long time for him to say anything. "Did it hurt?" he finally asked, forcing the words out.

"Yes," Rose answered.

She turned back around, feeling worry fluttering in her chest. The Doctor was standing, both hands clasping the edge of the console and his head hanging forwards in defeat.

Rose swallowed audibly. "I'm guessing that's bad, yeah?" she guessed.

The Doctor straightened. "I was gonna leave," he said.  
"Leave?"

"Yeah. You deserve to be with your family, Rose. You don't need me here to complicate your life." He wasn't looking at her and Rose felt her stomach turn "But I can't leave you now," he said.

"Why not now?" she asked.

The Doctor looked over at her. "Because it's gonna hurt," he said.

Rose took a step deeper into the TARDIS, towards him.

"Hurt?" she asked.

The faded memories she had of when she lost control swirled to life inside her mind at the thought. The way every cell in her body seemed to scream.

"Yes," he said simply. "Or it might make you sick. I don't know." He rubbed at his eyes, clasping the bridge of his nose. "When you left for Torchwood I could feel your absence like a physical wound," he explained. "The further away you went the more I felt it."

"Like a pressure on your heart,'' Rose said.

The Doctor nodded "I'm so sorry. I never thought the bond would be this powerful," he said. "Not since you're... human. At least not for you. But if you could feel it even then. Even though we were on the same planet, same time. Imagine what a different universe would do."

The Doctor ran his fingers through his hair. He was making a right mess of it.

Rose took another step forwards. "What do you mean you didn't think it would be this powerful?" Rose asked. She felt her joints locking in sudden apprehension.

"You talk about it as though you expected this," she said. "But you said nothing like this had ever happened before."

The Doctor froze. There was no mistaking the look on his face. He knew he'd slipped up. Slowly he faced her.

"Rose..." he began. He raised his hands towards her.

Rose stepped back. "You lied," she realised. "This has happened before." She swallowed audibly. "Have you done this before? With someone else?"

The mere thought of him having that kind of connection with anyone that wasn't Rose made her physically nauseous. 

She clutched her midsection, feeling her stomach twist into a knot. It felt wrong on some kind of profound level. Like it went against the very laws of nature.

Rose had told Dr. Conn that there was no chance the Doctor would ever do what he'd done to anyone else. It was a truth that seemed burned into Rose's bones. A truth that was a part of her. A truth she could never doubt. Except now that truth might be a lie.

"Of course I haven't," the Doctor immediately refuted.  
He sounded as though the idea of it was as foreign to him as it was for her. But how could she know if that was true?

"How can I even trust that?" Rose asked.

"Rose..."

Rose ran shaking fingers through her hair. "You lie. You always lie."

"Rose, please."

But Rose shook her head."I need to get out of here," she said, turning around. She needed space. Time to think.

"You don't understand!" the Doctor called after her.

Rose twirled back around."Then explain it to me!"

The Doctor sighed and clutched the edge of the console again. Rose could see, even from that distance how his knuckles turned white.

"I knew..." he began, not looking at her. "I knew when I... cured you that there was a chance a telepathic link may form. I knew it was a possibility but I was in no way sure it would happen." He glanced up at her.

"Why did you talk about it as though it had happened before?" Rose asked.

"It was rare but sometimes..." he trailed off. "Sometimes it happened on Gallifrey," he said.

"Between your people?"

"Yes."

"But I'm not like you. I'm not even telepathic," Rose interjected.

The Doctor shook his head. "I don't have all the answers," he said.

He straightened and walked over to her. He hesitated for a moment, gauging her reaction before he reached out and took her hand. Rose felt the bond flaring up. Electricity hummed through her blood. Her eyelids fluttered shut.

"Is there any way you can make it stop doing that," she mumbled a little dazed. She felt his fingers tightened for the fraction of a second around hers.

"I don't think so," he said. "Sorry."

The Doctor looked down at their entwined fingers. He stroked his thumb softly over her skin, unable or unwilling to stop himself. It was like the bond hummed in tune with the movement.

"Rose, open your eyes. Look at me?" he said, his voice soft.

Rose did. He looked at her like she was the most important thing he'd ever known. It was hard to mistrust him when he looked at her like that.

"I have never had a connection like this with anyone before," he said. "And I never will again. I can't. I need you to believe that."

His eyes bore into hers. Desperately he tried to make her see the gravity of what he'd done. He wanted her to understand. What it had meant to his people. What it meant to him. But for her to understand that he would have to tell her the truth. And the truth would break them.

"I believe you," Rose said.

Her voice was steady but he could feel the doubt in her mind. Could she feel the fear in his? The Doctor let go of her hand. Rose stepped away from him.

"What are we going to do?" she asked.

"I don't know," he said honestly. "I need to figure out why the walls are weakening. But I can't leave you. Not in a different universe. I can't risk it."

"So I'll go with you then," she said.

The Doctor shook his head."I can't ask you to do that," he said.

"You didn't. I offered," Rose corrected.

The Doctor looked at her. A sudden banging made them both jump.

"I know you're both in there!" they heard Jackie Tyler's insistent voice from outside the door. "Doctor, you give my daughter back right now."

Rose left the Doctor and opened the door. She peaked out at her mum.

"Mum," she said, sounding only slightly irritated. "What are you doing?"

"We're leaving now, sweetheart," Jackie explained. "You both can't stay in that blasted box all day."

Rose looked around and realised that dusk had fallen. She glanced back over her shoulder.

"It's late," she told the Doctor. Though she couldn't see him she knew he was there. "We gotta head back." Rose scanned the room until she spotted him standing over by the console, watching her. "You won't suddenly disappear will you?" she asked. 

The Doctor shook his head slowly.

Rose stepped out of the TARDIS and joined her mother outside. She hugged her arms around herself, trying to keep warm. It seemed like it was going to be a cold night. But cold nights meant stars. When she'd been trapped in this universe she'd treasured the night skies. 

It reminded her that she had been up there and seen them all. That it had been real and not just a dream.

As Rose looked up at the sky she tried to recapture that feeling she'd had when she first travelled with the Doctor. That sense of wonder and amazement. The rush of discovery. The feeling of different ground beneath her feet. She wanted that again. Her heart ached for it.

Rose heard the Doctor step out of the TARDIS. She felt him behind her and had to fight the impulse to lean back against his chest. She feared that need to be close to him would never change. No matter what.

Rose looked up at the stars just as one of them winked out. She blinked in disbelief, thinking her eyes must have tricked her. But then another star followed the first.

"Did you see that?" she asked, looking over her shoulder at the Doctor.

He came up beside her. His shoulder brushed against hers.

"What?" he asked and raised his gaze to the sky above them.

"The stars," Rose whispered, just as another star disappeared from sky. "The stars are going out."

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·


	13. Ripples on the water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stars are going out and the Doctor and Rose rush across the barriers of the universe to find a solution. As they do they run into an old friend of the Doctor’s and the TARDIS has her own ideas of where they should go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is looonger ;p

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The Doctor twirled around and rushed inside the TARDIS, Rose hot on his heels. He pulled the screen over and set the scans to check the walls. Their deterioration had increased. They were breaking down.

"What is going on?" Rose asked, fear marring her voice.

The Doctor stared at the screen. He blinked a couple of times.

"I don't know," he said in disbelief. "I don't know." He looked over at Rose. "I have to go." 

She nodded once. 

The Doctor came over to her, clasping her shoulders. "You don't understand," he insisted. "I have to go and I can't leave you here with your family. I can't..."

"It's okay, Doctor," she told him. "I know. I understand."

He shook his head as though she didn't understand at all. Not the gravity of it. The risk.

"Doctor, this world is just as much in danger as the rest of them, yeah?"

He looked up at her and nodded.

"Well, what kind of defender of the Earth would I be if I didn't defend it?"

A smile lit up his face. "Brave Rose Tyler," he said.

"Oh, shut up," Rose smiled at his praise in despite of herself.

The Doctor let her go and hurried around the console, bringing the TARDIS to life. He was setting coordinates when he glanced over at her.

"You wanna say goodbye?" he asked, allowing his smile to falter for a moment.

Rose nodded. Another heartbreaking farewell.

Her feat were heavy as she stepped out of the TARDIS. Her mum was there, waiting. Understanding filled her eyes before Rose had time to say anything.

"You're leaving with him," Jackie said. It wasn't a question.

"I have to," Rose said a little forlornly. "The stars..."

"This isn't about the stars, sweetheart," Jackie said sadly. "It's about him... and you." She sighed. "I've seen you two together and I've seen you apart. I've seen what it does to you. Both of you. It hardens him and..." Jackie reached out and patted Rose's hair gently as though she was still a child. "... it hurts you," she said. "You are better together. Whether I like it or not."

Rose nodded. "Like you and Pete," Rose said. Her mother affectionately fixed a lock of Rose's hair.

"I love that man," Jackie said. "God knows I do but you and the Doctor, sweetheart that's... something else. You know?"

Rose dropped her gaze and nodded, wondering not for the first time if that something else was a blessing or curse.

"So you go on, Rose. I'll tell the others and you make him promise to keep you safe. To keep my daughter safe or he'll have me to deal with."

Rose couldn't help but smile at that. She threw her arms around her mother, hugging her tight, hoping against hope this wouldn't be the last time she saw her.

"I love you mum," Rose said.

"I love you too, sweetheart. Just be careful."

Rose let her mum go and hurried back inside the TARDIS before leaving tore her apart. The Doctor was by the console, his eyes on the monitor.

"Ready to go?" he asked, glancing over at her.

Rose nodded and walked over to the console. The familiar whining sound echoed through the room, signalling their departure.

The Doctor scratched his head.

"This isn't making any sense though," he was saying. "Even the void is gone. The dimensions are all collapsing." He rubbed at his neck. "How is that possible?"

The TARDIS shook then. Both the Doctor and Rose grabbed a hold of the console to stop themselves from falling over. They held on as the ship tore through what was left of the walls. Until they reached their universe. Or at least the one that had once been Rose's.

The Doctor looked at the screen. "We're back," he said. He turned the dials. Circular Gallifreyan flashed across it. A frown appeared between his brows as he read them. "We're lucky," he said. "The ripples haven't quite reached this far yet."

Rose came up next to him. "You're saying this universe is still fine?"

"For now. Which means there's still time."

"Well that's good."

"Yeah," the Doctor allowed thoughtfully.

"I'm putting her down," he said and flipped a couple of switches.

The TARDIS flew through space, down towards the Earth. The wheezing, whining sound let Rose know when they had finally landed.

The Doctor hurried over to the doors. He grabbed his coat on the way, throwing it on. Pulling opened the doors he stepped outside. Rose followed behind.

"Earth?" Rose asked as she stepped out after him.

She was getting better at locking down the energy inside her. But she could still feel it hit her like a punch to the gut the minute she stepped out of the TARDIS. 

The Doctor nodded.

"It all seems okay at least." she said, looking around.

They were parked in some random, completely normal London alley. Trash bin in a corner. Blue car parked to one side.

"It does," the Doctor agreed.

They walked out of the alley, looking around and seeing nothing out of the ordinary. Rose wandered over to a store selling tellies. Several were displayed in the window. All of them showed the news. There were things like; the price of gasoline going up, traffic jams on the M4, Arsenal winning over Manchester united. But nothing strange. Nothing at all.

The Doctor came up beside her. He put on his specs, looking at the screens over her shoulder.

"Anything good?" he asked.

"No," Rose said. "Unless you're an Arsenal fan."

"If there is one thing I've learned about you, humans it is to never take sides when it comes to football," he mumbled distractedly. Rose glanced at him. "Or any sport really," he added.

"Wise move," Rose allowed. "But anyway, how can it be so bad in the other universe and then nothing here? Nothing at all?"

"Oh, not nothing," the Doctor refuted. "Reality is collapsing. But it's like ripples on the water and the ripples haven't quite reached this universe yet."

"Oh, she can just button it! That's what I think!" they heard some loud woman announce from behind them. 

Rose turned her head. It was a redhead on her mobile. She really sounded rather upset. 

"Perhaps she should take a long look in the mirror before she starts in on me! Bloody Nerys. Years, she's had it in for me."

Rose fought a smile as she turned back around. The Doctor glanced at her.

"What?" he asked. 

Rose nodded her head discreetly at the woman. The Doctor turned his head. Rose saw his eyes narrow for a moment and then widen in surprise.

His gaze followed the woman as she walked on and entered the alley where they'd parked the TARDIS. He followed after her without a word and Rose hurried after him.

The redhead was walking to the blue car Rose had noticed before, still on her mobile. She pulled her keys out of her pocket and unlocked the car door saying goodbye to whoever she'd been talking to.

"Donna Noble?" the Doctor asked, disbelief in his voice.

The woman stopped and turned around. Utter shook fell over her face.

"Doctor?" she asked. "Doctor!" She ran over with a big smile on her face. She stopped right in front of him. "I have this crazy urge to hug you!" she exclaimed in happy disbelief.

The Doctor held out his arms for her and the woman threw hers around him.

"He has that effect on most people," Rose pointed out.

The woman's eyes shifted to Rose and she pulled away from the Doctor.

"Oh, you got someone with you then?" she asked. "Taking my expert advice are you?" She nudged the Doctor lightly with her elbow. "He needs someone with him," the woman told Rose.

The Doctor rubbed his neck a bit uncomfortably. "Donna... this is Rose," he introduced her.

"Rose?" Donna exclaimed before he had chance to say anything else. "The Rose?" She stared from the Doctor to Rose and back again.

"The very one," the Doctor confirmed, rocking back on his heals.

Donna turned to Rose, holding out her hand. Rose took it hesitantly.

"It's great to meet you," Donna said happily, "Donna Noble. Your spaceman kidnapped me on my wedding day. Christmas before last."

"Oookay." Rose was looking from the Doctor to Donna in confusion.

"I didn't kidnap her," the Doctor immediately argued. "There was this thing... Huon particles, Racnoss. Anyway, Donna, what are you doing here?" the Doctor asked.

"I live here thank you very much," she told him.

The Doctor looked around with a frown. "What? In this alley?" he asked.

Donna rolled her eyes at him. "No dumbo. In London, Earth, the solar system. I should ask what you're doing here, spaceman?"

The Doctor opened his mouth to reply but immediately got cut off.

"Oh my god there are not giant spiders again are there?"

"No, no," the Doctor assured. Donna breathed a sigh of relief. "At least not that I know of," he allowed as an afterthought.

Donna gave him a glare. Rose was just staring from one to the other. This was another part of the Doctor's life that she had not been a part of.

"Donna?" the Doctor asked. "Has anything happened here lately? Anything unusual?"

"No," Donna said. She thought for a moment. "Like wha?"

"Like, strange," the Doctor unhelpfully clarified. "Electrical-storms, freak weather...? Anything?"

Donna shook her head. "Except there's been this thing with the bees," she said thoughtfully.

"Bees?"

"Yeah, they've been disappearing."

"Bees disappearing," the Doctor muttered and rubbed at his head.

Then he turned around and bolted back inside the TARDIS. 

Rose began to follow but stopped and turned back to Donna.

"Wanna come inside?" Rose asked.

Donna looked suspiciously at the blue police box. "It's weird, that thing," she said.

Rose smiled at her, her tongue peaking out between her teeth and her eyes sparkling.

"That's the beauty of it," she said. She nodded her head towards the TARDIS. "Come on Donna Noble." And Donna followed Rose inside.

The Doctor was at the centre console. His spectacles were perched on his nose and his eyes were glued to the screen.

"Have you found something?" Rose asked as they walked into the room.

"Maybe," the Doctor allowed. "These calculations, they're gonna take some time though."

Donna came up next to Rose. "I'm really glad you're back with him," she whispered to her.

"Yeah..." was all Rose gave as a reply, her eyes on the Doctor.

Donna looked from one to the other and Rose got the feeling that she saw more than neither Rose nor the Doctor wanted her to see.

But before Donna had a chance to say anything the TARDIS suddenly shook. Rose and the Doctor immediately grabbed the console to keep from falling. Donna on the other hand wasn't quite quick enough. She fell backwards as the TARDIS tilted. The railing caught her. She grabbed on to it.

"Doctor?" Rose held on. "What's happening?"

The Doctor was leaning over the console, desperately trying to reach a lever. 

"I don't know," he answered as he strained to reach it. Gracing it with just the tips of his fingers he ground his teeth.

The ship tipped again. The Doctor stumbled but caught the lever. He pulled it down. Sparks blew out of the centre console.

And then they were hurtling through space. Rose could feel it.

"Don't you dare do this to me again!" Donna screamed.

The ship kept shaking. The Doctor managed to grab the monitor. He held on to it as he stared at the readings.

"We're crashing," he said in disbelief.

"What in the bloody hell do you mean, crashing!?" Donna's tone was half anger and half fear.

The ship shook so violently it felt like they were flying through a storm. Rose lost her grip then. She was tossed to the floor and knocked her head against the base of the console.

Donna screamed and the TARDIS crashed. The impact knocked them all off their feet.

Rose struggled up into a sitting position, her back against the edge of the console.

"Donna, you okay?" the Doctor called.

"Yeah, thanks," she growled, sounding none too pleased.

The Doctor scrambled over to Rose. He put his hands to either side of her face, tilting it up.

"You okay?" he asked gently.

Rose nodded. "Fine."

The Doctor ran his thumb over a sore spot right at her hairline, sending a pleasant tingle across her skin.

"Hit your head?" he asked.

"Mmmhm."

"Any visual impairments?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I'm fine," she repeated. Rose finally looked up and met his eyes. "Really."

The Doctor nodded and reluctantly drew back, rising to his feet. He held out his hand for her and Rose took it. The Doctor helped pull her to her feet. They found Donna struggling to rise across the room.

"You!" she said, pointing an accusing finger at the Doctor. "What the hell are you playing at!?"

"It wasn't me!" the Doctor explained affronted.

"Always kidnapping decent innocent people," Donna accused. "Did he kidnapped you too?" she asked Rose.

"Nope," Rose answered. "Went willingly."

Donna shook her head. "Bonkers, the pair of you," she muttered, straightening her black suit.

The Doctor was at the TARDIS console, talking to the ship as he was flipping switches.

"What's going on hmm?" he was asking her. "What's wrong?"

Rose left him to go check where they had landed. She pulled opened the door and stared out at a forested area. 

Huge towering trees reached for the sky with trunks so large it would take ten people to reach around them. The leaves were a coppery yellow, glistening in the blue sunshine. The grass was darker, more bronze. It was beautiful.

Rose stepped outside, noticing the TARDIS had crashed into one of the trees. She could just see the hint of an ocean beyond forrest, hearing the waves crashing against rocks.

"Is it safe?" Donna asked from behind Rose.

"Oh, it's hardly ever safe," Rose told her. "But for now I think we're good."

Rose turned around. Donna was carefully peeking out from the TARDIS, looking hesitantly around.

"Come on," Rose said.

"We're on a different planet, aren't we?" Donna asked. 

Rose wasn't quite sure if she sounded amazed or utterly terrified.

Rose nodded. "Yup," she confirmed, looking around. "Blue sun, bronze grass. Definitely a different planet." 

Donna didn't move. 

"Come on," Rose said again.

Donna took a hesitant step outside. Rose watched as Donna's face slowly lit up with excitement.

"This is completely mental," she said, staring at the ground.  
"I mean, wonderful but completely mental."

"That pretty much sums it up," Rose said with a smile.

Donna looked up at Rose and smiled with her whole face.

"A different planet!" she exclaimed.

Rose laughed and Donna laughed with her. For a moment Rose forgot all about the Doctor and the truths he wouldn’t say, about the stars going out and universes collapsing. She just laughed with Donna. Because they were on a different planet and it was completely mental.

The Doctor appeared in the TARDIS doorway. "What's wrong?" he asked urgently.

Donna turned around. "Wrong?" she asked back in surprise.

"You laughed?"

"And you naturally assume something's wrong?" Donna wondered.

The Doctor's eyes drew to Rose. For once her smile didn't falter as her eyes met his. They were shining with joy and excitement. He smiled back at her. It was impossible not to.

The Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS, closing the door behind him. He looked around.

"Any idea where we are?" Rose asked him.

"Not a clue," the Doctor answered.

"And the TARDIS?" Rose asked. "Any idea what's wrong with her?"

"She's moody," the Doctor said, running his hand down the side of the blue police box. "Needs about five hours to recalibrate."

"So we're stuck here for five hours?" Donna asked.

"Weeell," the Doctor drew the word out. "Yeah," he allowed.

Rose came over to Donna. "Plenty of time to explore," she told her and linked her arm through Donna's.

She tugged her along, glancing back at the Doctor. She'd seen the worry behind his casual facade. Something was up.

They walked through the forest, Donna and Rose chatting while the Doctor surveyed the area, trying to figure out where they had landed and why. 

They reached the edge of the woods. Cliffs shot down in front of them into the sea, waves crashing against them. 

Rose held up her hand, shielding her eyes from the light of the blue sun as she stared out at the sea.

"Is that a city out there?" she asked the Doctor over her shoulder.

Something was glimmering in the distance.

The Doctor looked out over the sea. "Looks like," he said. "And that there is how you get to it I imagine." He pointed to their left.

On another cliff was a cableway with large cablecars going out to the city on the water.

"Are we going?" Donna asked. "We're going, yeah?"

"Yeah, we're going," Rose agreed happily.

The Doctor smiled behind them as they headed towards the cableway.

There was a man, dressed in blue monk-like robes that bowed as they approached.

"Well met, travellers," he greeted them and straightened.

He had strange circles tattooed all over his skin. They covered most of his face and Rose could even hint them peaking out under the edges of his sleeves.

"Hello," the Doctor greeted happily. "Mind telling us where we are?" he asked.

"You are at the entrance to the city of Dentaar," the monk answered, his voice calm and serene.

"Yeah, I mean which planet."

The monks eyes narrowed ever so slightly at this question but he said nothing about it.

"The planet of Poosh," he answered, in the same tone of voice.

"Poosh! Lovely," the Doctor declared.

"To what do we owe the pleasure of your visit?" the monk asked.

"Oh...just seeing the sights," the Doctor answered.

"And do you have your pass for entrance to the city?"

"Pass...yes o' course."

The Doctor padded his pockets until he found the psychic paper. He held it up and the monk surveyed it closely.

"Very good." The monk held out his hand as the door to the cablecar slid opened. "Enjoy the beauty and hospitality of our city."

The girls and the Doctor stepped inside the cart.

"Remember, any and all forms of weapons are strictly prohibited. All violence will immediately result in your expulsion from the city limits. Fair well," he said, bowing as the door slid closed and the cablecar took off down the line.

"How handy that aliens speak English," Donna said.

"They don't, you just hear English," Rose told her.

"The TARDIS translates for you," the Doctor explained.

"Is there anything that weird box of yours doesn't do?" Donna asked.

The Doctor thought about that for a moment. "She's doesn't cook," he said after a while. "Not well at least."

"She's good at tea though," Rose said.

Donna looked at them as though she had no clue whether they were honest or not.

"Look at that," the Doctor said and pointed ahead of them.

They all went to the front of the cablecar. It was glass all around so they had excellent visibility in every direction. The cablecar was travelling quickly down the line, the city coming into view ahead of them. 

It looked like it was built right on the water. Great spires pierced the sky. Made of some form of crystal they shone it the light of the blue sun.

"That is beautiful," Donna said in awe.

Rose had to agree with her. It was. She glanced over at the Doctor next to her. As though he could feel her watching him he turned his head, his eyes finding hers. 

She felt a careful brush against her mind. Rose gave him a little smile and let her mind twine with his. It felt so natural. As though this was the state they should always be in. And it wasn't quite as overwhelming as when they touched. It was soft, pleasant.

"Hello!" Donna's voice finally penetrated their minds. "I'm sure you have time to stare soulfully into each other's eyes later. Let's go."

Rose drew back, the bond between them snapping back like letting go of a rubber band. The Doctor stepped away, awkwardly running a hand through his hair.

"Well, come on!" Donna insisted.

The cablecar had stopped at the city without the Doctor and Rose even noticing. The three of them walked out.

Everything was built out of that crystal. It caught the light of the sun giving everything a luminescent blue glow. There were a lot of people in robes. Like the man they'd met at the cableway. They all had the tattooed circles all over their skin. 

But there were other's too. Most were dressed in bright colours of yellow, orange, and sky blue. A woman with green skin and large black eyes walked by them. Donna's mouth fell opened.

"Don't stare," the Doctor reprimanded her.

Everyone seemed to be heading in the same direction so the three of them simply followed the current.

Rose turned to a man next to them. "Where is everyone going?" she asked him. The man looked at her as though she was daft.

"The sun will be setting soon," he said pointing at the sky. "Time for the Dedication isn't it."

"The Dedication, right," Rose nodded as though she had an actual clue as to what he was talking about.

Rose looked up into the sky. She could just vaguely hint the moon as the sun slowly travelled towards the horizon.

Something dark caught at the corner of Rose's eye. She turned and saw a woman dressed in white, with black short cropped hair disappear into an alley. She was the only one heading in another direction.

Rose wasn't quite sure why she followed but she did. She skirted the people heading for the Dedication and made it to the alley. Rose entered cautiously.

"Oh, but we had a deal, monk," Rose heard a woman's voice hiss.

There was some apologetic mumbling from a man. Rose hurried on, following the sound of the voices. She reached a corner and stopped.

"You know what will happen if you go back on our deal," the woman warned.

They were close. Rose peaked out from behind the corner. She saw the woman with the short black hair, her back to Rose. She was talking to a man dressed in monks robes, those same circles painted on his skin. 

There was something about the set of the woman's shoulders that seemed awfully familiar.

"Bring me what I want or my people will shoot your brother's family dead. It is that simple."

Rose knew that voice.

The monk stared in fear at the woman, wringing his hands. 

"It is the highest form of treason," he tried to argue.

The woman held up a device that Rose would bet was some form of communicator. She raised it to her mouth.

"Shoot the wife," she said. “But don’t kill her. Yet.”

"No, please," the monk begged.

The woman clicked on a button on her communicator. A holographic image of a man and woman tied up on the floor sprung from it. Next to them was a boy no more than ten. Also tied up. A large man came into the picture. Rose stared in horror as the man raised an alien looking gun and aimed it at the woman.

"No, please," the monk begged again. There was the sound of a dual gunshot. The boy screamed. His parents and the monk wailed in horror. Rose clutched her hand over her mouth to stifle her own cry.

"Next one goes through the her head," the woman explained calmly. 

She sighed. "Oh, stop your wailing," she told the monk who couldn't seem to stop crying. "Shoot the her in the head," she said into the communicator.

Rose stared in absolute horror at the hologram as the man raised his gun again. The father was struggling desperately to get free and the wife was crying frantically, asking over and over, why? Why? Why? 

Rose was just to step out from her hiding spot, willing to do anything to stop what was happening when the monk spoke.

"No stop!" he cried. "I'll do it. I'll do it."

"Hold," the woman said and the man in the hologram lowered his gun. "Wait for my call," she told him and with the press of a button the holographic image disappeared. "Now then," the woman said. All business. "I expect you to fetch me what we agreed upon within ten minutes."

The monk nodded and hurried off. The dark-haired woman looked at her wristwatch.

"You can might as well come out of there," she said loudly. Rose froze. "It is rude to eavesdrop." The woman turned around.

It couldn't be. It was impossible. Rose stepped out from behind the corner.

"You're dead," Rose said, staring at the woman in disbelief.  
Annabelle Conn's eyes widened in surprise as she saw who it was that stepped out from behind the corner.

"Rose Tyler, come to join me?" she asked, her lips spreading in a smile avoid of anything decent.

"Join you?" Rose snarled. "You're mad."

Annabelle shook her shoulders. "You will help us. Eventually," she said, sounding none to bothered.

"Whatever you're trying to do, you won't get away with it," Rose vowed. "We stopped you before, we'll stop you again."

"What makes you think you stopped me?" Annabelle said with a smile. "And by the way, speaking of which, where is your Doctor?" Annabelle looked around as though she expected him to pop out of a shadow. "Still at odds?"

"Shut up," Rose growled.

"You are going to be the death of him you know," Annabelle said. She was smiling like her sister, too sweetly. "Every time you reject him is like a cut. A tiny cut." Rose tried to shut out her words. "Stay with him and he's gonna bleed to death.

"Shut up!" Rose screamed at her. But screaming didn't help. All Rose heard inside hear head was Tom's word,

_He looks at you like loving you is killing him, and he doesn't even care._

"You know nothing about it," Rose growled. "Nothing!" 

Rose felt the power surging up inside her in tune with her temper. The energy moving, itching to be released.

Rose took a step forwards and Annabelle raised a gun. It was a small and sleek looking weapon.

"Easy now," Annabelle warned.

Rose stopped. "Are you gonna shoot me then?" Rose asked. "Go ahead. They'll be on you in a second. No guns allowed I hear."

Annabelle smiled. "Oh, no Rose Tyler I'd sooner avoid shooting you. We need you for later."

"Need me for what?" Rose felt her nails digging into her palms and yet the energy was still moving, she couldn't seem to lock it down. "And who is we?"

"All in due time."

Annabelle began backing away, her gun still trained on Rose. Dr. Conn had wanted Rose to help save her dying sister. Save Annabelle. But Rose wasn't sure that is what Annabelle Conn wanted at all. There seemed to be something far bigger going on with her.

Annabelle's gaze flickered down to Rose's hands. There was a sliver of fear in her eyes as they flickered back up.

"You should get that under control. Don't want a repetition of Torchwood now do we? A...a lot of people about." She stumbled over her words. It was the first time Rose had seen her afraid.

Rose didn't need to look to know that light was moving under her skin. She could feel it, pressing behind her eyes.

Annabelle continued to back away. Rose remembered Annabelle saying she'd seen the security footage of when her sister had died. She knew what Rose was capable of. Rose felt the ground beneath her shift.

"He turned you into a weapon," Annabelle was saying. "A beautiful, beautiful weapon. A nuclear bomb just waiting to explode."

Rose only half registered as Annabelle Conn turned around and ran. Rose stumbled. She didn't feel it as her shoulder hit the wall next to her. She squeezed her eyes shut and reached out with her mind, desperately trying to find the Doctor.

 _I need you,_ she cried out.

//

The Doctor was pushing his way through the crowds. "Rule one," he was muttering. "Rule one."

"What's rule one?" Donna called from behind him.

"Don't wander off! Rule one, Donna, don't wander off," he growled over his shoulder at her.

His eyes roamed over the crowds, desperately searching for a familiar blonde head. Her distress hit him like a punch to the gut.

_I need you._

The Doctor took off running. People were yelling and growling their discontent as he pushed his way through the crowds. But he couldn’t care. He had to get to Rose. 

He broke through a group of middle-aged ladies that got extremely cross with him. He payed them no mind but hurried on. 

He crashed into an alley and ran through it. Turning a corner he found her. She stood leaning against the crystal wall.

"Rose?" He clasped her shoulders. Light was moving beneath her skin. "Rose?"

She looked up and her eyes met his. "She's alive, Doctor," Rose whispered, pain in her voice.

"Who? Who is alive?" the Doctor asked.

"Annabelle Conn," Rose said and her eyes rolled up into her head. 

The Doctor wrapped his arm around her waist, keeping her from falling.

"What's wrong with her?" Donna asked worriedly.

The Doctor ran his hand down the side of Rose's face.

"Come on, Rose," he whispered.

Her eyes fluttered opened and she looked at him, her vision hazy. "Does it hurt to look at me?" she mumbled.

He caught her head as it dropped to the side.

"What are you talking about?" the Doctor asked, perplexed.

"Everyone, they keep telling me..." she continued incoherently. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You don't, Rose," the Doctor lied. A sad look fell over Donna's face as she watched them. "I promise. Do you hear me?"

He touched her face. Just a brush of his fingers before he put her head to his shoulder and held her. 

“I got you,” he said softly. “I always got you.” 

Eventually the light under Rose's skin dimmed. She let the Doctor hold her as he helped her regain control. 

Rose looked up then and saw Donna standing there. Her face both sad and worried. Again Rose got the feeling Donna noticed too much. Rose took a deep strengthening breath and pulled away from the Doctor.

"I'm okay," she assured him. Another breath.

The Doctor looked her over. She could see his fingers itching to reach out. She drew further away.

Donna looked from one of them to the other. "Anyone mind telling me what's going on?" she asked.

"Long story," Rose told her.

"Annabelle Conn is alive?" the Doctor asked.

Rose nodded. "I don't know how she is but she's up to something. She's not working alone either."

"What is she doing here?" the Doctor asked.

"She was threatening one of the monk blokes to get something for her. I don't know what but she was willing to kill people for it."

The Doctor's eyes darkened at this bit of news. The sound of hundreds of people cheering reached them.

"Dedication must have started," Donna said.

"Yeah, what is that anyway?" Rose asked.

"As the sun sets and the moon comes out they have this ceremony to honour the light the moon brings in the darkness," the Doctor explained a little distractedly. "Where did she go?" he asked.

Rose pointed down the alley. "She ran down there," she said. “I couldn’t follow.”

The cheering voices rang with joy until they didn't. At the flip of a dime joy turned into fear. Cheers turned to screams. All three of them looked at each other.

"That doesn't sound good," Donna said.

The three of them took off running, running through the alleyways until they got out onto the square. All the people in front of them were staring up at the sky. Some were screaming. Others were weeping.

The blue sun was getting closer to the horizon as the Doctor, Rose and Donna looked up at the sky. The sky was clear but there was no moon. The moon was gone.

"Wha...?" the Doctor began in disbelief.

He stared around. There was not even any indication of there ever having been a moon in the sky. It was just simply gone. People were pointing into the sky and crying out in fear.

Suddenly the ground beneath them trembled. A crack broke through the square. Water poured out of it. People fell in. The Doctor clasped Rose's waist and pulled her back, just as a crack broke the ground beneath her feet.

"Back, back!" the Doctor urged, pulling her with him.

Donna stumbled backwards. "What's happening?!" Donna cried.

"Earthquakes," the Doctor answered.

The ground shook again. More cracks broke through the square. More water burst forth.

"It's the moon. Without its gravitational pull the whole planet is going mad," the Doctor explained.

"But how can an entire moon just disappear?" Rose asked, staring around at the destruction in horror.

Most people were running. But some seemed too scared to move. They huddled down in groups. Crying, praying or both.

A band of painted monks stood before the largest crystal spire. Their hands were raised to the sky while they sang in prayer. Rose couldn't quite understand the words but she understood their meaning. It was a plead for aid. For salvation. But it was far to late for prayers.

Rose tore free of the Doctor's arms and ran into the square. He called after her. She didn't listen. 

Jumping over a crack, water blew up at her side. She skirted it and ran. She jumped over another crack and another. Until she made it to a group of frightened people. Grabbing the first one she reached, she pulled her to her feet.

"Get up!" Rose screamed. "You have to run!" She pushed the woman ahead and pulled up the next person. "Up! Up!"

The Doctor appeared at her side, pulling another person to their feet. 

"Run!" he screamed at them.

Finally the message seemed to get through. The last of the people got to their feet and ran.

Rose was about to run towards the monks when the Doctor got a hold of her wrist and yanked her back. A large crack erupted right in front of the singing monks. Rose tried to twist free from the Doctor.

"It's too late!" the Doctor screamed at her.

They stared as a whole section of the square slid into the sea. It took the monks with it.

The Doctor turned and pulled Rose with him. They jumped over cracks as they erupted around them. One crack widened unexpectedly. They both faltered. Rose grabbed the Doctor’s hand. She yanked him forwards with her. Water sprayed up, soaking their feet. 

They stumbled forwards barely escaping the rushing waves beneath. Dark and wild.

They found Donna at the edge of the square. She was urging people to run for the cablecars. The Doctor and Rose didn't stop as they reached her. They just ran on and pulled her with them.

The water was knee deep now. The whole city was sinking into the sea. It was hell getting forwards with any speed. All around them people were running and falling. There wasn't time to stop and help any of them. And yet they tried.

Everyone ran desperately through the city, trudging water. The Doctor's hand clasped tightly around Rose's. Neither daring to let go.

Finally they reached the cableway. People were pushing to get inside while one lonely monk tried desperately to get the panicked masses to do it orderly.

"No more than thirty per car!" he screamed. "Or the fastenings won't hold!" But no one was listening.

The Doctor fought his way through the crowd to the front. He pulled Rose with him and Donna followed right behind. He regretfully let go of Rose's hand and got between a large man trying to get inside the cablecar.

"Back up!" the Doctor ordered. There was such authority in his voice the man paused. 

"Thirty per car or you'll crash into the sea!" the Doctor screamed over the crowd.

He turned and took a quick look inside the car, quickly realising it was full. He used his sonic screwdriver to get the doors to shut. They whizzed closed and the cablecar took off, leaving room for the next one to dock.

"Alright!" the Doctor called, stepping back and letting people inside. The large man thankfully stumbled in, pulling someone who might be his wife with him.

The Doctor counted the heads as they passed him and once he reached thirty he sonic-ed the doors closed. Despite the panicked objections as people pushed to get on. The cablecar took off.

Rose, Donna and the lonely monk helped to funnel the people orderly forwards. Orderly but with haste. The ground kept trembling beneath them. The water levels were slowly rising. They watched as huge spires from the city fell into the awaiting sea. 

The Doctor loaded the last set of thirty people in a car and sent them off.

"Come on!" he called to Rose, Donna and the monk as the next car docked.

The doors slid opened. Donna ran for it. The platform they were on suddenly shifted. The gap between it and the cablecar widened. Donne jumped the distance.

"Rose!" the Doctor screamed.

Rose fell as the platform trembled. She caught herself on her hands and knees. The monk reached down and helped her back up. The platform shook violently. It cracked apart. Rose turned as a whole section collapsed right next to her. She caught the monk's eye just as the floor disappeared beneath his feet.

"Noo!" Rose screamed, reaching out for him.

By some miracle he managed to get a hold of his monk robes. Within a second the Doctor was there and together they pulled him back up. 

“Run,” the Doctor told him and the monk didn’t need to be told twice. 

He ran for the cablecar, jumping the distance despite his drenched robes weighing him down. 

Rose felt the Doctor as he clasped her arm and yanked her up. She turned around and ran with him. Donna was at the opening to the cablecar yelling at them to hurry. 

Rose saw the large gap between the platform and car. Both her and the Doctor simultaneously put on a burst of speed. She clasped his hand tightly and they jumped.

They crashed into the cablecar. Rolling to a stop on the floor Rose ended up half on top of the Doctor. The Doctor aimed his screwdriver against the doors and they slid closed. The car immediately took off. 

Rose let her head rest against the Doctor's chest for a moment, struggling to catch her breath. The Doctor's arm came around her. She could hear the frantic beating of his hearts beneath her ear.

"You alright?" the Doctor asked her.

She nodded against his chest. Rose took a deep strengthening breath before she pushed away from him. She struggled to her feet.

Donna and the monk was staring at the city. Rose came up next to them as the Doctor got up. They stood and watched as sections of the city crumbled. The cablecar shook. Rose glanced back ahead of them. Would they make it before the whole thing collapsed with the city?

The four of them stood in the cablecar, staring at the docking station at the top of the cliff. Neither of them was able to take their eyes off it. Any second it might fall, taking them with it.

Again the cablecar shook. Fear ran down Rose's spine. She did not dare glance down at the waves far below. Refused to think of the cable snapping and them all plummeting into the sea.

Finally the cablecar stopped at the top of the rocky cliff. The doors slid opened easily as though nothing was wrong at all. All four of them rushed out of it, desperate to feel solid ground beneath their feet.

All the people stood on the cliff. All staring out at the beautiful, sparkling city as it fell into the sea. The sun set along with it. So much lost.

The Doctor, Rose and Donna stood with the other survivors and looked at the destruction. How could this have happened? It seemed only a moment ago that they had stood there and watched the city spires sparkling blue in the distance. A few hours later and it was all gone.

Rose knew that Annabelle Conn had something to do with it. Anything else was too much of a coincidence. How she had managed to make an entire moon disappear out of the sky, Rose had no idea. But she feared it was all connected. Torchwood, Poosh and even her.

The Doctor touched Rose's shoulder lightly. "Let's go," he said.

Rose gave Donna a nudge. Donna tore her eyes away from the sea. She had tears in her eyes. Surely a lot of people had died as the city fell.

But before they could leave the monk stopped them. Stumbling forwards in his soaking wet robes. 

“Thank you,” he said, clasping each of their hands in turn. “I can’t thank you enough. You saved us all.”

He shook their hands again and again. 

“Glad we could help,” Donna was saying as he shook her hand rather vigorously. He turned and shook Rose’s again. 

“You saved my life. You saved all our lives. They would never have listen to me. The cableway would have fallen.”

“Are you going to be alright?” Rose asked. “Without the moon” 

The monk glanced up at the sky. “We’ll see,” he said, solemn for a moment before he turned his gaze back to them. “I don’t even know who you are.”

“Just right place, right time... people,” the Doctor said. The monk looked confused. “Sorry, but we really have to get going.” 

“Of course, of course. The monk finally released Rose’s hand. “Blessings be upon you.”

The three of them nodded and walked away. They walked into the woods.

Night had fallen. But despite the lack of moonlight the forest was not so dark. Rose looked up and gasped with wonder. Fluttering around in the tree crowns were hundreds of little blue lights, like fireflies.

She turned back to Donna, pointing up without saying anything. Donna glanced up. Her mouth tugged a little at the corners as though the sight made her want to smile but she didn't quite have the heart for it.

The Doctor stopped as he too looked up into the trees. Rose came up beside him. He took her hand. The bond flared to life. Linking their minds together. But this time Rose held back. She wasn't ready to share the thoughts running around inside her head.

She could tell that he felt her reluctance. Knew that it hurt him. It hurt him every time. Just as Annabelle Conn had said.

Rose pulled her hand out of the Doctor's and turned away. She couldn't bear it. She didn't want to hurt him. She never wanted to hurt him.

 _Don't,_ she heard like a painful whisper in her mind. _Please, don't._

It took so much strength to walk away from him in that moment. When every inch of her being yearned to stay.

Rose looked up and saw the light from the TARDIS. It glimmered between the trees. Like a beacon guiding them home.

She walked towards it. She felt the echo of the hurt she'd caused lingering in her heart. It mixed with her own. She knew neither of them would be able to take much more of this. That Annabelle Conn was right. It would kill them.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·


	14. The untainted truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna tries to help the Doctor and Rose find common ground and the Doctor finally tells Rose the truth about what he had to do to save her life.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

"She needs another hour or so," the Doctor said, looking at the screen.

They all stood inside the TARDIS, being strangely quiet.  
Donna walked over to the Doctor where he stood in front of the console.

"How could a whole moon just disappear?" Donna asked.

"Dunno," the Doctor replied without looking up.

"Are they going to be okay?"

"Who?" 

"The people," Donna clarified. "The ones we just left behind."

"They'll be fine," the Doctor assured her. "It's a level six planet. They have the means to get off it if they need to."

Donna noticed as Rose turned around and left without a word, disappearing inside the TARDIS. The Doctor continued staring at that screen as though he hadn't noticed her departure. Though Donna suspected it wasn't much he didn't notice about Rose.

"You gonna be alright?" Donna asked.

The Doctor looked up at her. "What?" he asked.

"You gonna be alright?" Donna asked again.

He nodded. "Yeah, o' course."

"I'm just gonna..." Donna trailed off, pointing her thumb in the direction Rose had gone.

"Um...yeah...sure," the Doctor mumbled and returned his attention to the screen.

Donna wandered through the hallways. They seemed endless. She couldn't understand how that was possible. It wasn't just bigger on the inside. There was a whole world inside this strange blue box.

It made her think how big the universe must be. Endless like these hallways. So what were the odds in an endless universe that she would run into the Doctor again? They'd even parked right next to her car. A crazy coincidence or fate?

Donna shivered at the thought. She wasn't entirely sure how she felt about the idea of an almighty force controlling her destiny. If she even had a destiny. Donna Noble from Cheswick? A destiny? Not bloody likely, she thought as she turned down another hallway.

Destiny or not she needed to find Rose. Because there was something the matter. Something between the Doctor and Rose that kept them apart. And maybe Donna couldn't save planets or whole galaxies or whatever the pair of them usually got up to. But at least she could try to help fix this.

Donna turned a corner and found a door discretely marked; kitchen. She heard noise from the other side. She opened the door and saw Rose at the counter. Well how about that. Fortunate indeed.

"So..." Donna joined Rose in the kitchen. The crazy blue box actually had a kitchen. "That was a bit mad. Is it always like that?"

Rose was making tea. "You fancy a cuppa?" Rose asked Donna and Donna nodded. Rose poured two cups. "Milk or sugar?"

"Both, please" Donna said. Donna watched the girl as she made tea.

She was beautiful, Rose. She had this spark to her, Donna thought. Sometimes when she smiled it was like the whole world got a little brighter for it. It was easy to see why the Doctor was so in love with her. In a world of monsters how could he not fall in love with someone as bright and brave as Rose Tyler?

"I reckon I met him not long after you left," Donna was saying.

"I didn't leave," Rose refuted. "I was trapped in a parallel world."

"Right, well you see, the thing is though, if you don’t mind me saying, when I met the Doctor you could see this pain in his eyes," Donna explained. "It made him hard."

Rose handed Donna her cup of tea without looking her in the eye.

"Except when he mentioned you. It was the only time I saw him vulnerable. The only time he seemed even a little bit human."

Donna tried to catch Rose's eye but she was staring into her cup.

"It's just..." Donna was saying. "...it's still there. That pain. He has you back now but the pain isn't gone."

Rose leaned against the counter and sipped her tea. "It's complicated," she said. "Things happened..."

"It can't be that bad," Donna said. "You love him don't you?"

Rose sighed."It's amazing how little that matters sometime."

Donna narrowed her eyes at her. "Isn't that all that matters?"

"You don't understand," Rose told her, taking another sip of her tea. "You don't understand."

Donna took a sip of her own tea, leaving Rose time to elaborate or not. The tea was really good. Spicy. Not a flavour she recognised.

"He did something," Rose said after they'd stood in silence for a while. "And he won't tell what it is. He thinks I don't know when he fibs. Thinks I can't tell."

"He probably has a good reason though," Donna tried. "I mean, I don't know him all that well but he seems to be the kind of bloke who plays things pretty close to the chest."

Rose held up her hand in front of her face. After a moment Donna saw golden light beginning to move beneath Rose's skin. Just like it had in the alley on Poosh. Rose turned her hand over, watching the light as it moved and curled along her veins.

"I was dying," Rose explained. "The Doctor did this to save me."

Donna stared at the golden light. It would be beautiful but looking at it felt like staring into the sun knowing that doing it would blind you.

Rose tightened her hand into a fist and slowly the light died away.

"It's dangerous." Rose confirmed. "If I don't keep control it could kill me. Kill you." She put the half finished cup of tea down and turned away, leaning her hands against the counter. "I'm sorry," Rose said. "I don't even know why I'm telling you this."

Donna walked over and put her cup down on the counter next to Rose's. She hesitated for a moment before she put her hand on Rose's shoulder.

"It's okay," Donna said.

"I guess I just need to talk to someone," Rose said.

"Maybe you should talk to the Doctor," Donna suggested softly.

Rose shook her head. "I can't can I? He'll just tell me another lie." Rose drew in an uneven breath. "I don't want to say that I hate him but I hate the lies. How can I not?" Rose said sadly. "And hating someone you love is..."

"Tragic," Donna finished for her. "It's really damn tragic."

Rose dried her tears away and straightened. "I'm sorry," she said again, trying to collect herself.

"Don't be sorry," Donna said. "I want to help."

Rose tried to give her a grateful smile. All the while her face was streaked with tears.

"You can't help us," she said. "We're a broken piece of glass. We can't be fixed."

The words actually hurt to hear.

"There has to be some way," Donna said. "He loves you."

Rose took a breath. Then her eyes caught on something past Donna's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I gotta to go."

Rose hurried out of the kitchen and Donna knew before she turned around that she'd find the Doctor standing there.

His hands were clenched into fists, his feet planted wide as though he was facing a firing squad. But his eyes were bare and fragile looking. Making Donna think that perhaps a single word could shatter whatever lay behind them.

"I take it you heard all that." Donna said.

The Doctor nodded. "She said she hates me."

"She also said she loves you," Donna pointed out. But the Doctor didn't appear to be listening. "Whatever you're hiding from her, just tell her." Donna stared at him hard. "I'm sure she'll forgive you anything as long as you're honest."

The Doctor shook his head, his eyes sad. "Not this," he said. "I know her. She's good. So very good. The best of what humanity have to offer. She won't forgive what I did."

"And what exactly did you do, Doctor? What could be so bad?"

He drew in a shaky breath and straightened."Come on," he told her. "I'll show you to a room."

The Doctor led Donna through the TARDIS, his feet moving on autopilot. He hardly even registered the countless times she asked if he was alright. He left her at a random room, mumbling something about dry clothes, and the library if she should get bored.

The Doctor wandered alone back to the control room. He walked over to the console. The TARDIS gave a sad little hum in tuned with the pain in his chest. He rubbed at his eyes.

Time Lords didn't need as much sleep as humans but the Doctor couldn't even remember the last time he'd slept. He had been so focused on Rose that everything else had become secondary. Even sleep.

The TARDIS would be ready to get going soon. Ready to take Donna home and take Rose and him wherever the road ahead led. His eyes traced the other calculations he'd set in motion. 

Trajectory calculation for the bee migration would take twelve hours yet. And he wasn't even sure if it was a lead worth following. He was only sure of one thing. Everything that had happened recently was somehow connected. 

He could see the strands weaving events together. The Conn sisters and their experiments. Their obsession with Rose. Stars going out. The walls between universes breaking down. Annabelle Conn on Poosh to get something right before the planet lost its moon. He could see the strands but not the weaver.

He rubbed at his eyes again. He needed to get some rest or his body was going to shut down. The Doctor left the control room. But once he reached the room where he usually slept he couldn't bear to go inside, knowing he would get no rest there. Alone in the dark.

He ended up wandering aimlessly through the hallways, repeatedly finding himself back at the door to Rose's room. 

He didn't even know if it was the TARDIS that was rearranging the hallways to get him there or if it was he who just couldn't stand to be anywhere else.

The fourth time he found his way back there he cursed and stomped off in the opposite direction. He managed to locate his study.

It was overflowing with books and bits of technology in construction, pieces of metal and wire and tools. He actually had to search for a moment to find the chair.

Getting rid of his coat he flung himself down into the chair. He propped his feet up unto the overflowing desk and closed his eyes, forcing himself to relax.

It wasn't easy. In fact it was closer to impossible than easy. His mind was still too preoccupied. Mostly with thoughts of her. Not just the fact that she hated him and the lies he could not help but tell but also that Rose seemed to somehow be caught in the middle of everything that was going on. She was an intricate part of the web and he didn't like it.

He thought he could bear an eternity of her animosity. After all, he knew when he saved her that she would never forgive him for the choice he made. 

What he couldn't bear was her hurt or worse, dead. A world without Rose Tyler was not one he ever wanted to live in. Even though he knew one day he must. But until that day came he would fight with everything had to keep her alive.

Eventually the fatigue took him over despite his hearts best efforts and he fell asleep. And dreamed of her. Of course he dreamed of her...

Darkness ruled the space around him and pain filled his chest. He'd screamed. A desperate, hopeless attempt to expel the agony inside. It raked his bones, made him shiver and shake but would not cease. He was losing Rose and he couldn't bear it.

She was lying at his feet. Pale and lifeless on the dark marble floor.

He was back in that place between time and light and matter. The place where he'd made his choice. And even knowing what he knew now he wouldn't choose differently. He would choose Rose a thousand times over.

The Doctor fell to his knees next to her. He picked her up, pulling her into his lap. He whispered her name. A broken, desperate prayer to the only thing left that he truly believed in. Her.

But she would not stir. Not wake. He didn't feel the tears as they streamed down his face but he saw them hit hers. Little droplets of sorrow he couldn't prevent.

But why should he? He'd been strong for so long and part of the reason for that strength was dying in his arms. Why shouldn't he cry?

He let his fingers trace along her jaw, over the bridge of her nose and across her cheekbones. Touching her in a way he never thought he could allow himself.

As he did he reached out with his mind. He let it caress hers, begging in silence for her to wake up.

A flutter of eyelashes. Far too delicate for this harsh world, he thought as she finally opened her eyes.

The Doctor let his forehead fall against Rose's. He whispered her name as though the simple word was the last one he knew and the only one that had ever mattered.

Then he kissed her. It was a brief touch. A momentary exchange of breath, nothing more. 

He pleaded with her through caresses. His fingers against her temples, his lips against hers.

Finally through his gentle coaxing she stirred. Waking further. She spoke his name in confusion. But she spoke the name he'd chosen. He wanted to hear the one he'd been given. A name not spoken for a very long time.

There were ramifications in speaking his name. Oaths that would be sealed. Promises he'd gladly give and die keeping.  
But what of her? What of Rose? Could he live with the knowledge that he hadn't let her chose whether she'd want to?

Wanting him or even loving him was not the same as what he would be committing her to if he did what the oracles suggested.

Doctor...?

He wasn't sure if it was a thought or if she'd said out loud. But it made him squeeze his eyes tightly shut for a moment because however he fought against it – it wasn't what he wanted to hear. What he needed to hear. What all this required in the end.

The Doctor leaned down and whispered in Rose’ ear. It was an ancient word by her standards. It felt ancient even to him. His name was a secret and a gift. A gift only he could bestow and a secret she would now be forced to keep.

The Doctor kissed her again. He pleaded for her trust. Blinding trust for she knew not to what she would be agreeing. 

He let his mind touch hers as his lips urged her to kiss him back. For she needed to be a part of this. He couldn't do it alone. He needed what they'd briefly awoken during the star fire.

Rose...

Finally she kissed him back. It was like an electric spark through his mind that rushed down his spine. Her lips were parting and like a thief he immediately stole the opportunity.

Kissing Rose was something he had once thought he could never allow himself to do. Not properly. Not the way he wanted to. Not the way he woke up from dreams gasping with the memory of.

And now he was. He was given his dreams in the shape of a nightmare and a small part of him didn't even care. 

He was kissing Rose. Holding Rose. Never had he wanted anything so hopelessly and selfishly in his whole life.

Like strings weaving and binding, his mind began twining itself with hers. It was an instinct he couldn't fight. Not with her. He never had. That's why being with Rose had scared the hell out of him.

But there was no longer any room for fear. Fear didn't exist. Only Rose in his arms. This wonderful creature that had somehow deemed fit to love him. 

And he'd show her. With every touch, every kiss just how much he loved her back. He would show her where his words had always failed him.

Her hands were moving lazily up his chest. She was coming awake. Giving herself over to the sensations he elicited with every faculty at his disposal.

If this was going to work he needed to engage her mind, her body and her heart. They both had to give themselves over to this one moment completely. A moment that would seal both their fates either way.

Rose's fingers were wrapping around his tie and deft hands swiftly untied it. She pulled it free and let it fall. He didn't even notice as the first buttons on his shirt fell opened. 

Suddenly he just felt her fingers against his skin. His hand he held at her back clenched into a fist and he pleaded for some measure of control.

But as her tongue stole into his mouth he quickly realised control was never an option. His fingers uncurled, wrapping instead around her waist. He was eager to feel her skin beneath his fingers. Explore every shape and curve until he'd learned her by heart.

He trailed kisses down her neck. Hot, urgent kisses as he fumbled with her clothing. He couldn't get clear of them fast enough and certainly not with any finesse.

He told her he was sorry. Sorry he couldn't do this better. She deserved better. She deserved the sky and all the stars.  
Or at least a bloody bed.

But at this moment he could give her none of that. All he could give was all that he was and pray it was somehow enough.

The Doctor drew his lips away from Rose's. With them both so far gone it was an act of pain. But then she mumbled his name. On a breathy little sigh it left her lips and the Doctor fell apart. For her.

So he let go. Let go of everything. Everything he had held back since he'd met her. He let it all go and allowed himself to love her with all that he had. Every ounce of his being he poured into this one act. Into this one beautiful human being with a silent prayer to any deity, entity or random twist of fate to please, just please let him keep her.

And as they reached the inevitable pinnacle their minds fused together in that act of completion. The one moment absolute. The strands between them woven into a bond that could never be broken.

The Doctor felt his very soul tie itself to Rose. It healed the damage done to her body and bound them together irrevocably. Creating a fixed point in time. Something that could never be altered. Lest time itself crumple.

But it did more than that. Because Rose was human. Her body wasn't built to sustain such a thing. It could never hope to.

The Doctor knew exactly as the power of it overwhelmed her. Ecstasy turned to agony on the flip of a coin. Rose screamed and the Doctor held her as she burned. He wouldn't let go. He would never let go.

If you burn, I burn with you, he vowed.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The Doctor awoke with a jerk. Torn out of the dream with the brutal memory of the pain of it. He thought he could still hear Rose screaming. Until he realised that she was.

It wasn't the dream lingering around him. It was Rose. Rose in pain.

The Doctor shot out of his seat and ran. He ran through the TARDIS to her room, tearing opened the door. He found her lying on the bed. Caught in the throes of a nightmare. His nightmare.

Rushing over he sank down next to her, clasping her shoulders in an attempt to still her.

"Rose," he said softly. "Rose wake up." He shook her lightly. "Rose!"

Her eyelids flipped opened and fear filled eyes met his. Sitting up, she tore herself free from his hold and scrambled away from him. She hit the headboard and was forced to stop.

"Rose."

She stared at him in panic.

"Don't... don't be afraid of me," he begged. "Not you. Never you."

"You made me burn," Rose breathed, her voice haggard.  
"And everything else burned with me."

She had shared his dream. It had been so real, so vivid he had projected it without realising it. How much of it he didn't know but she'd definitely witnessed the horror of it if not the beauty that came before.

Light had begun moving beneath Rose's skin. She clutched her head and the Doctor scrambled over to her. He covered her hands with his.

"Easy," he whispered. He couldn't let her lose control. But Rose fought against him. "You need to calm down," the Doctor told her. "Rose..."

"Don't touch me," she wailed, trying to twist away. "How could you do that?!"

"Rose..." he tried again. "Please, calm down."

Her head fell back against the headboard as she cried. He wanted so desperately to do something to ease her pain. But what could he do to ease it when he was the reason for it?

Rose leaned towards him, putting her hands to his chest and pushed him away with all the strength she had. He fell back.

"Get away from me!" she screamed.

Endless tears fell from her eyes. She put her hands up in front her face, staring at the light as it shifted beneath her skin and cried harder. She clenched her hands into fists, punching the bed in aggravation.

"Rose, you have to stop," the Doctor tried again.

Rose pulled up her knees and rested her forehead against them as she sobbed.

The Doctor reached out his mind towards hers. Anything to help her. To ease the pain. But despite the fact that she'd had no real training she could still shut him out. Yet he tried, prodding carefully for any weak point that would allow him to get in without force. He could never do it with force. 

Rose's head flipped up and tear filled eyes met the Doctor's.

"Stay out of my head!" she screamed at him and the Doctor withdrew instantly.

Her head dropped back to her knees and she interlocked her fingers across the back of her head. Golden light of dust began swirling around her. If the Doctor didn't do something he was going to lose her.

He moved over, hesitating only for a moment before he put his hands over hers. Immediately she tried to twist away. And that rejection hurt. Like twisting a knife into his chest.

But despite her objections he managed to push her hands away. He ceased a hold of her head, bracketing her face between his palms. The bond flared up as skin touched skin.

Rose grabbed his wrists, trying to bend free but the Doctor was stronger than her. He forced her head up. Forced her to look at him.

What he saw in her eyes was enough to shatter any hope he'd had that she might forgive him some day.

Cowardly the Doctor shut his own eyes, finding he did not have the strength to bear it after all. Instead he reached out with his mind. It was easy to link with hers when he touched her. But not completely. For that he needed her consent. Her willing participation. Forcing it would be painful for both of them.

Rose, he whispered from his mind to hers. I need you to stop. You need to stop.

Her mind was screaming, the pain of it overwhelming. The Doctor wrapped his mind around hers.

Stop.

The most effective way was to engage her heart. To make her forget. To make her feel only him and the bond that tied them together. But The Doctor found he didn't have it within him to do that. Not now. Not after this.

I'll let you go, he vowed. I'll do anything. I'll take it back if that's what you want. I promise. Anything.

Finally like a puzzle piece clicking into place she allowed her mind to link with his. The bond flared up. Brilliant and bright. It made the errant power within Rose shift. Binding them together instead of tearing her apart. 

A pleasant rush of euphoria filled the Doctor's veins. But it was a biological response. It wasn't emotional.

The Doctor opened his eyes and looked into Rose's. His fingers were still at her temples, his mind twined with hers.

She pulled back. This time the Doctor let his hands fall, making no attempt to hold on. They fell limply into his lap as though there was no further use for them.

Despite the fractured, broken images Rose knew the dream had been more of a memory than a dream. One that faded, the more she fought to hold on to it.

One thing was painfully clear however. Burning. Her skin turning to ash and releasing a power strong enough to turn entire worlds to cinder. The only thing she couldn't understand is how she was still alive.

The Doctor had poured everything he had into her and she'd failed. She hadn't been strong enough to hold it.

"It was just one possible future," the Doctor said, his eyes on his hands.

Rose looked up at him. He wasn't looking at her. "Did you read my mind?" she asked accusingly.

The Doctor laughed completely without humour. "It's not that hard to guess what you were thinking," he answered. "And no, before you ask I don't know how you stopped it from happening." 

He took a deep breath. 

"I thought my worst nightmare had become real,” he said. “I thought my loving you had destroyed you. But then you reeled it all in. You got it under control. It was impossible and you did it anyway. I've never met anyone as strong as you."

"I can still hear them screaming," Rose said. "Entire worlds burning."

"It never happened." The Doctor still wouldn't look at her.  
"You saved them.

"And you were prepared to sacrifice them." Rose stared at him in disbelief, struggling to wrap her mind around just what he'd done. "For the chance to save one human life."

"Not just any human life, Rose." And the Doctor finally looked up at her. His eyes were dark and flat. "Your life," he said. "I was willing to let a good portion of the universe burn for a chance to save you."

"What if I wouldn't have been strong enough?" Rose pointed out. "I could have..." she trailed off, unable to finish. "How could you do that?" she asked, her voice breaking.

"Because I love you," he said simply. There it was. The untainted truth. Everything he'd done. All the pain he'd put her through. All the wrong choices he'd made was for this one simple fact. He loved her. 

"I've never loved like this before," he was saying, his gaze dropping uncomfortably from hers. "I don't know how to...Or what to do with it."

Rose just stared at him. How did that even make sense?  
"But you... you told me you had kids once," she tried, struggling to understand. Surely he’d loved before. "You must have been married or at least..."

"I was."

"I don't understand."

The Doctor took a deep breath, struggling to form his thoughts into something resembling coherent sentences. To explain. Because she deserved that. She would hate him but she would understand. Understand just how rare, how dangerous this was.

"People on Gallifrey were not born Time Lords," he explained. "We became what we were through millions of years of exposure to the Time vortex. It became a calling. You dedicated centuries to study. It's was a higher form of  
learning. A responsibility."

"What are you trying to say?"

"Marriage for Time Lords was... well different than for average Gallifreyans. You didn't marry for love. At least not the way you see love. You married because of a certain compatibility."

The Doctor glanced over at Rose. There was something shy and uncertain in his regard that he couldn't hide.

"Love like..." He reached out and brushed his finger lightly against the back of Rose's hand. "...this."

Rose felt a tingle running across her skin from the point where he grazed her. The bond responding to his touch.

"Was forbidden," he finished.

"Forbidden? Time Lords were not allowed to marry for love?" Rose asked perplexed. It didn't fit with the view she had of his people. It suggested a coldness and a detachment.

"Not like this," the Doctor said, brushing his knuckles against the back of hers simply to emphasise his meaning.

"But that's horrible."

"No it's not," the Doctor said simply. "Or at least I didn't know it was until I met you." He pulled his hand back. "Time Lords are more powerful than you know, Rose. We can not only see all of time and space we have the technology to manipulate it."

He looked up at her, a hint of desperation entering his eyes. Desperate to make her see what he struggled with. What vows and creeds he’d broken when he’d saved her life. 

"Imagine a being with the power to bend the very fabric of time as he sees fit and this person only cares about one thing. The one he loves."

"But you wouldn't..." Rose began but fell silent because he had.

"I did."

He could have chosen to let her die and risked nothing. But he hadn't. He'd chosen to save her and risk it all.

"It is why I... Why I could never... before."

"Before?" Rose caught on the word. "You mean you felt this way before the bond? Before you did this?"

The Doctor sighed and rubbed his eyes. Was it possible she hadn't seen? Hadn't known? The possibility hurt. He might never have said those three words to her until now but he'd showed her in everything he did. Everything.

"Do you honestly think I didn't feel you every time I took your hand?" he asked, his eyes squeezed shut. "Every time I held you?" He opened his eyes and looked at her. "Don't you think I wanted so much more? That every day with you wasn't a bittersweet agony because I knew I could never have you?"

"But why couldn't you...?"

"Because of this!" he interrupted angrily, indicating the both of them. He got out of the bed in a flurry of motion.

Rose watched as he began pacing back and forth in front of her bed.

"It wasn't long after I met you that I realised I was falling in love with you," he explained in a rush. "I even tried not to but nothing worked..." He stopped his pacing and looked forlornly at her. "Don't you see?" he asked desperately. 

But Rose wasn't entirely sure she did. 

"I would never have been able to hold back," he cried.

"But I was dying," Rose said, trying to hold on to some remnants of sanity. "You did this because I was dying."

"I did this, Rose because I love you. I love you so much it burns me! To my core. Creating the bond is a bloody instinct. Millions of years of instinct urging every fibre of my being to bind itself to yours so I can never lose you!"

The Doctor ran shaking fingers through his hair, struggling to regain his composure. But all he did was mess up his hair.

"But you... you're human," he said, his hands on his hips, his gaze on the floor. "And I'm not. It could have killed you. It should have killed you." He glanced up at her, his eyes haunted. 

"The bond is powerful. The most powerful thing we know of. So much so that forging it creates a fixed point in time. You shouldn't be able to sustain that kind of power, Rose."

"So that's why you stopped. During the star fire..."

The Doctor nodded. "Could you feel it then? My mind rushing to bind with yours?"

"Yeah." Rose felt a shiver run over her skin at the memory. "I could feel it."

"It scared the hell out of me," the Doctor said. "I was just kissing you and already I couldn't hold back."

Rose leaned her head against the headboard. "So why didn’t it kill me?”

"I don’t know. The oracles. They told me this was my one chance to save you. To use the power created by the bond not just to bind us together but to heal you. But I knew that it was far more likely it would go the other way. The way I feared. The way I always thought it would. You turning to ash beneath my hands and the rest of the galaxy with you."

"And Time Lords do this when they fall in love and they can’t not...?" she trailed off as the Doctor shook his head.

"No, Rose. Time Lords don't fall in love. "

"But you did..."

The Doctor reached out his hand but Rose drew away. He swallowed hard as he pulled his hand back.

"The bond was only whispered about in hymns and fairytales," he explained sadly. "I had never even heard of it happening during my lifetime. This is rare Rose. So rare it is more legend than fact. This never happens."

"Then why did it?" she asked.

He laughed mockingly. "You want me to tell you why I fell in love with you?" he laughed. "How am I supposed to do that? How could a mere word or a thousand words ever describe such a thing?"

Rose let her head fall. The Doctor looked at her and then he used his fingers under her chin to urge her face back up. This time she didn't pull away.

"I fell in love with you because you are beautiful in every sense of the word," he said. "And I don't just mean your face, Rose. I fell in love with you because you are brave and clever. Because you help without ever being asked. Because you shine like the sun and I can no longer imagine an existence without you. And I love you, Rose Tyler, because you make me better. You always have."

Rose took his hand and for one shining moment it seemed as though she leaned towards him. But then she drew back, letting him go.

"What?" the Doctor asked. "You don't believe me?"

The thought of her not trusting this had never occurred to him. Him, loving her was a fact.

"No," Rose immediately refuted. "I believe you. Of course I believe you."

"Then what...?"

Rose moved away, putting her feet on the floor so they were sitting with their backs to each other.

"Well…they were right," she said sadly.

The Doctor turned around, staring at her back. Her neck was bent, her blonde hair falling over one shoulder.

"Who was right?" he asked, feeling a hint of panic surging up inside him. He didn't like the sound of that.

"The Time Lords."

"What about them?"

"You're a Time Lord, even more than that, you're the Doctor, you can't... afford to love like this."

"What?"

"Think about it, Doctor," Rose said, struggling to swallow the tears welling up in her throat. "What happens the next time? When you're faced with this choice again? Will you choose to save me or them? Those people who depend on you.

"Rose..."

"No," she interrupted him. "Tell me now that you will never choose me. Never. And I will be with you for as long as I live. I’ll forgive you for the lies, for doing this. All of it. But only if you can tell me that you'd choose them. Every time."

The Doctor shook his head sadly, feeling the last pitiful remnants of hope disappearing like ashes on the wind.

"I can't do that," he said.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·


	15. I know your heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Rose and the Doctor have to deal with the fallout of the truth coming out and Donna ends up in the middle of it.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The Doctor ran through the hallways of the TARDIS. He was desperate to find help. Something. Donna. Donna was here. 

Crashing into the library he tipped over some vase in his haste. It shattered as it hit the floor. 

He stared at the shards. Porcelain. Fine. Delicate. Broken. 

Like the last shreds of hope he’d clung to.

He’d always known it. Known that merely allowing himself to admit wanting her in the dead of night was enough to shake the very foundations of time. And yet he had. He couldn’t even regret it. He’d made his choice. For her life.

It took the Doctor time to notice. Notice that someone was talking to him. 

He looked up, his eyes focused. Red hair, worried eyes. Donna. 

“I need your help,” the Doctor said, his voice sounding raspy and foreign to him. He leaned back against the doorjamb not quite having the strength to hold himself up on his own.

“What is it?” Donna asked with urgency. “What has happened?” 

“Rose,” the Doctor managed to get out. “I don’t want her to be alone. She shouldn’t be alone.” 

“Then why aren’t you...” Donna began. 

“She doesn’t want me...” The Doctor hit the back of his head once against the doorjamb. “...there,” he finished. “She doesn’t want me there.” 

"Alright," Donna assured. "I'll see that she's okay."

The Doctor shook his head. "She's not okay," he said quietly.

Donna felt reluctant to leave him in this state. "Are you...-" she began.

"Just go," the Doctor ordered.

Donna hurried away. Too late she realised she had no idea where Rose even was. The whole ship was like one giant maze. She turned around to go back only to find the hallways behind her had changed. She turned back around. What the hell?

Donna continued forwards. She stopped in front of a door and stared in wonder at the small name tag next to it. 

Rose, it said. 

She looked around. She'd noticed both the Doctor and Rose spoke of the ship as a person. As though it was somehow alive. Had it guided her here? Even marking the door so Donna would know where Rose was? Donna shook her head. No, that was ridiculous.

Donna knocked once on the door and opened it. The room was dark. The only light came from a knocked over lamp on the floor behind the bed. Donna could just make out the contours of a closet and some items of clothing strewn on the floor.

"Rose?" she asked hesitantly as she took a couple of steps inside.

"He sent you, did he?" came Rose's voice from somewhere in the darkness.

Donna took another couple of steps inside, trying to pinpoint the origin of her voice.

"He's really worried," Donna said carefully. 

She walked around the bed. There were shards from a broken mirror all over the floor. They cast the light from the fallen lamp in strange shapes around the room. Rose was curled up in a corner.

The girl didn't look up as Donna drew closer. She just stared ahead at nothing. Donna knelt down next to her.

"Rose," Donna said softly.

She reached out but the instant Donna touched Rose's skin light sparked beneath it and Donna drew her hand back on a hiss. Her skin had burned.

Rose's gaze flickered down. "Sorry. Didn't mean to hurt you," she said. "Can't seem to control it properly. Keeps... fluctuating."

"It's okay," Donna said. 

"He told me everything," she said after a long while, sounding as though she wished he hadn't.

Donna tried to sit down, mindful of the glass. "Do you wanna talk about it?" Donna asked carefully.

Rose took a deep uneven breath. Donna could see her hands shaking.

"I didn't know anything could hurt this bad," Rose said. "I thought before... When he wouldn't tell me the truth. But this is worse." A broken sob fell from her lips. "What he did... I..."

"You don't think you can forgive him?" Donna asked.

But Rose shook her head. "I don't know. I don't know what to do. Seems whatever we do someone gets hurt."

Donna braved her fear and reached out and clasped Rose's hand. Rose flinched but her skin didn't burn Donna this time. She gave her hand a squeeze and after a while Rose gave hers a squeeze in return.

"What can I do, Rose?" Donna asked. "Tell me what I can do."

Rose looked at Donna, one lonely tear falling down her cheek. "Take care of 'im," she said sadly.

"Rose..."

"I need to know he'll have someone. You were right before. He needs someone with him. He's gonna need it more than ever now."

"Rose you can't leave him."

"I...I have to."

"You can't... Rose, you didn't see him before. He lost you once I don't think he can go through that again. I don't...-"

"He'll be fine," Rose interrupted her. But even Donna could tell she didn't really believe that.

Rose squeezed Donna's hand as though she was begging for reassurance. But Donna couldn't give her that.

"Rose, he loves you..."

"Don't you think I know that!" Rose spat, sudden fire flaring in her eyes. "Don't you think it breaks me?! I can't even breathe! I can't think...!...I..."

"I'm sorry," Donna tried to tell her but Rose's grip on her hand was tightening. Donna drew back as that strange light seemed to grow in her eyes.

"Don't you see?" Rose asked, her voice desperate. "It's killing me."

It was killing her. Donna could see it. It was breaking her apart.

"Rose stop."

Rose's burning eyes flickered up. Donna turned her head and found the Doctor standing, framed in the doorway.

"You're hurting her," he said softly.

"Stop?" Rose asked. "Like you stopped?"

The Doctor strode across the room. He kneeled down next to them, clasping the hand Rose had wrapped so tightly around Donna's.

"Let go," he told Rose. "Let go."

They stared at each other and Donna got the feeling they were arguing despite neither saying a word. She saw the Doctor's face harden and then he pulled them apart. Rose cried out with anger and Donna immediately scrambled back.

"Get out of here," the Doctor told Donna, his eyes fixed on Rose.

"Doctor..." Donna began, worried.

"Get out," he repeated, his voice hard and dark.

Donna scrambled up on her feet and fled the room.  
Rose glared at the Doctor and he glared right back.

 _Are you done?_ he asked to her mind.

 _Done?_ she snapped back across the bond.

She raised her hand as though to slap him but he caught it before she had a chance to do anything.

"Stop it!" he told her. 

She tried to pull her hands free, destruction burning in her eyes. 

"Stop!" he insisted.

"I hate you!" Rose spat.

"Stop," the Doctor growled back.

There was a broken kind of madness in her eyes as she nodded. "I do," she said. "Oh, I do."

"Stop it."

"I. ."

"Stop it, Rose. I said, stop it!"

"I hate you for what you did!" she screamed. "I hate you for ever taking me with you!"  
The Doctor got to his feet and dragged her up with him.

"I hate you!" Rose screamed. "I hate you! I hate you!"

He took her and slammed her back into the wall behind her. Anything to stop the painful flow of her words. Rose's breath left her in a whoosh.

"STOP IT!" he screamed at her, his fingers clutching her wrists mercilessly.

"Let go of me!" she screamed back at him.

"Let go of you?" he growled. "How am I supposed to let you go?" He shook her once. "How Rose?! Tell me because I would like to know. I couldn't bear being away from you for ten minutes how am I supposed to last a lifetime?!"

She turned her head away. He tried to catch her eye.

"Is it that simple for you then?" he asked. "Hm?" She still wouldn't look at him. "Is it that easy, Rose? You can just walk away? Leave me just like that?" 

He could see her jaw working as she ground her teeth together. 

"Look at me!" he screamed.

Rose squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the horrible pain in his voice. But she couldn't. Because it was inside her as well. Their hearts were mirror images. Holding the same useless hopes and painful truths.

She turned her head slowly and opened her eyes. They immediately found the Doctor's beautiful brown ones. She loved them as she loved all of him. But not just the shade of them. That dark, rich brown that turned to amber in sunlight. 

But the way they would light up with wonder as he discovered something new, something that surprised him. Or the way they used to sometimes soften when he looked at her.

"Is it that simple?" he asked again as they stared at each other, both wanting to look away but neither able. Both trapped.

"Yes," she said then even knowing what she was doing. Knowing it was going to hurt. Because she thought she had to.

Rose watched as all the blood drained out of the Doctor's face and she knew in that exact moment that even though he might not believe her. Even though his hearts would tell him differently, that if she let it that one word could seed enough doubt that it would fester and grow between them like a cancer and eventually rip them apart.

The Doctor shook his head as he stared at her. No, no, no his eyes said.

"Don't say that to me," he whispered, his voice frail and fractured. "Hate me, fine. I know I broke your trust but don't tell me I'm nothing to you. Don't you dare do that to me, Rose."

And Rose wanted to wrap her arms around him and tell him it was a lie. A stupid, pointless lie. But she didn't.

"It is the truth," she said instead.

"No, you're lying. You have to be." 

Rose said nothing.

After his confession her heart had broken. Fractured inside her chest. And every shard was as sharp as the broken pieces of mirror littering the floor. Every time she took a breath those shards cut and tore at her insides. Bleeding her out.

But you survived heartbreak. People did all the time. If she could just put enough distance between them. Enough so she could leave. He'd be alright in the end. He was always alright. He was the Doctor. And if they were apart the world would be safe. No one else would get hurt because of them. Because a Time Lord dared to fall in love.

"You're lying," the Doctor said again.

Before she had a chance to react he'd taken a hold of her face and kissed her.

Rose was so surprised she froze. The Doctor brushed his thumb once across the curve of her cheek and a tingle ran over her skin. She could never seem to get used to it. The way her blood ran with electricity, the way every cell in her body came alive. It was just as overwhelming now as it had ever been. 

Rose clasped the lapels of his suit, desperately trying to stay on her feet. His mouth slanted over hers as her blood sang in her veins. And she kissed him back.

The minute she did the Doctor ceased a hold of her, trapping her between him and the wall. He moulded his body with hers. His hands got tangled in her hair, his lips growing desperate and urgent against hers. And she let it all go.

Instantly her mind twined with his in wonderful abandon and the more the strands weaved together, the more intense it became. It was like she could feel what they were both feeling at the same time.

The exact sensation of her lips against his and his fingers in her hair. Even the degree of heat their bodies exchanged as he pressed her tightly to the wall.

The kiss was turning harder, more insistent. Less controlled. What was control anyway? A fleeting, useless idea. Pointless.

The Doctor's arm was coming around her waist and Rose arched into him. They were lost in a single moment of their own making. And in that moment it was easy to forget. To not worry about the consequences. Just let it consume and rage through them like fire until there was nothing left but them.

I know your heart, Rose Tyler, she heard him whisper inside her mind and immediately she understood.  
She tore herself away from him, screaming. "You tricked me!" She pushed at his chest, trying to get him away from her. "You bastard!"

The Doctor got a hold of her wrists again, forcing them back against the wall while she struggled. Forcing her to stay and face those consequences she had been so ready to forget.

"And you lied!" he screamed at her.

She had lied. But she had just wanted to somehow make it bearable. They couldn't be together like this. They weren't selfish creatures by nature. They could never live with the sacrifice of innocent lives for the sake of their own happiness. It would destroy them if they tried.

The Doctor's eyes were like pits of tar. Dark and hot and anguished.

"All I ever wanted was to keep you," he said.

"I know." Rose felt a tear trail down her cheek.

The fight was going out of her. Out of them both. But without its burning heat it left them with nothing but cold harsh reality.

He released the grip he still had on her wrists. But he didn't step back.

"For a moment I thought maybe the universe would let me," he said. "I never asked for anything. But I asked for this."

His fingers trailed down her cheek and more tears escaped Rose's eyes.

"I can’t bear it when you cry," he whispered and let his forehead rest against hers. "Tell me how to fix it. Anything."

Rose shook her head, trying to force the tears to stop. But there was no stopping them. So the Doctor took her and gathered her up in his arms. He held her to his chest and whispered words she didn't understand. 

They were the same words he'd said at Torchwood. When he'd come back after she thought she'd lost him. He'd told her then that the words weren't important. But they didn't sound unimportant. They sounded like promises. Endearments. Vows.

The tears fell silently down Rose's face. She wanted to rage and howl at the world for the injustice of having a love to great for it to bear. But she didn't. She just cried and cried while the Doctor held her. Cried until she couldn't cry anymore. Until she was completely exhausted and no longer had the strength to stand.

Then the Doctor slid his arm behind her back and under her knees and lifted her up. He carried her back to her bed, laying her down gently on the soft mattress. She looked up and their eyes met.

"What's gonna happen to us?" she asked.

"I don't know," he answered. “But we’ll figure it out. We have to.”

Rose curled in on herself, pulling her knees up to her chest and pulling her hand out of his.

She nodded into the pillow, not looking at him.

The Doctor leaned down and kissed her forehead. His lips lingered on her skin, savouring the contact until he forced himself to straighten and turn away.

He made himself leave even though it physically hurt him to do so. But he had to. He couldn't disappoint her. She expected better of him. And better he was going to have to be. For her. Even if it broke him.

The Doctor walked away down the hall, trying his best to bear it all. He'd told Rose what he'd done. The horror and the magnitude of it. He'd broken one of the most basic laws his people had. 

And not only that he'd broken Rose's trust. He hadn't asked her if this was what she wanted. To be tied to him body and soul for the rest of her life. He'd just done it because he couldn't bear an existence without her. It had been the single most selfish act of his life.

Making his way to Donna's room he found her pacing inside. He felt bad about putting her in the middle of it all. It had never been his intention.

He put his hands in his trouser pockets and leaned his shoulder against the doorjamb. Donna stopped pacing as she spotted him.

"Oh, thank god!" she exclaimed. "I was worried you two would kill each other."

"Not yet," the Doctor said, shaking his head and swallowing hard.

"How is she?" Donna asked.

The Doctor's eyes dropped to the floor. "She's... hurt." He rubbed at his tired eyes. "I did that to her," he said. "And the worst part is I know I’d do it again. I can’t lose her."

"Doctor..." Donna began.

"Come on," he interrupted her, straightening. "I'm taking you home."

The Doctor led Donna through the TARDIS and to the control room in silence. He could feel her eyes watching him. She was worried. He walked over to the console, quickly setting the coordinates for Earth.

"It will be alright," he said, looking up at Donna and trying to shape his expression to one of reassurance but wasn't sure if he succeeded.

"Will it?" Donna asked. The Doctor's gaze dropped from hers as he nodded.

"Sure," he said, unable to get any real conviction into his voice.

He flipped a couple of switches and pulled a lever, the TARDIS humming to life. Donna came over and put a hand on his arm.

"Give it some time," she said. "You'll find a way to be together."

The Doctor clasped the edge of the console, letting his head drop in momentary defeat. He knew Rose didn't hate him. Or at least she loved him in equal measure. He'd felt her love across the bond. She hadn't been able to hide that. But that meant this was just as hard for her as it was for him.

The Doctor landed the TARDIS. He couldn't think about Rose. It was tearing him apart and he didn't have time to fall apart.

"You're home," he told Donna. "Best get going.".

Donna's eyes were sad as she turned away from him. She paused and turned back at the door.

"If you ever need... anything, you know where to find me," she said and gave him a little encouraging smile.

He wanted to smile back at her but found he didn't have the strength so instead he just gave her a nod. Donna turned and walked out. The Doctor turned his attention back to the console. He looked at the screen. The calculations were almost done.

Then suddenly the whole place shook. The Doctor grabbed the console to stop himself from falling over. What the hell was that? 

He glanced at the doors. Whatever it was it had come from outside. He ran over to the doors and yanked them opened. The Doctor stared into empty space.

"But that's impossible," he said to the blackness in front of him. He ran back to the console and looked at the screen.

"We haven't moved," he muttered. "We're fixed."

Rose came hurrying inside the control room. "What's going on?" she asked.

He glanced over at her. Her eyes were still red-rimmed and her skin was pale. He looked away quickly.

"Don't know," he said. "I just dropped off Donna and..." he trailed off. "Take a look outside," he said.

Rose walked over to the doors and pulled them opened. She stared out at the blackness of space.

"We're in space," she said.

"Yeah," the Doctor confirmed. "But we're not supposed to be. We're supposed to be on Earth."

Rose turned around and looked at him in confusion."So where is it?" she asked.

The Doctor looked up and his eyes met hers. "I don't know," he said. "It's just gone. The whole planet. It's gone."

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·


	16. The Shadow Proclamation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an attempt to locate the missing Earth the Doctor and Rose travel to the Shadow Proclamation. But they might not be entirely on their side.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Rose closed the TARDIS doors and slowly walked over to the console while the Doctor kept muttering about the utter impossibility of what had just happened.

"Doctor," Rose said. "Doctor?" 

He looked up at her.

"Just like the moon of Poosh," she pointed out.

"You're right," he said. "This might not be an isolated incident. It could be connected. It could all be connected." He ran his fingers through his hair. "But how?"

"What if there are more? More planets that's disappeared?"

"Yes. Yes!" he exclaimed.

He ran around the console. "We need more information. More data." He flipped switches as he went. 

His hand brushed against her back as he ran past her and Rose stiffened. She wrapped her arms around herself. He stopped at the screen.

"Sorry," he said without looking at her. "I shouldn't have done that."

"It's okay," Rose said, her eyes on the floor.

"Force of habit," he said.

"I know, Doctor. It's alright."

"You really need to stop saying that," he muttered as he set new coordinates.

Rose took a deep strengthening breath. The Earth had just disappeared right out of the sky. They didn't have the luxury to deal with their issues at the moment. Not when there were lives at stake.

Rose looked up at the Doctor. "Where are we going?" she asked.

"The Shadow Proclamation," he answered distractedly.

"I've heard you say that before. What exactly is that?" Rose asked.

"It's sort of an outer space police force," the Doctor explained as he put the TARDIS in flight. "They uphold Galactic Law."

"Yeah, thought it might be something like that," Rose admitted.

"Rose."

The seriousness of the Doctor's tone caused Rose to pause. She looked over at him. His eyes were insistent.

"Once we get there you can't leave the TARDIS," he said.

"Why?"

"They're not exactly psychic but some of them have a small, latent ability."

"And, what?" Rose asked. 

The Doctor sighed, his gaze dropping from hers. 

"You're afraid they'll find out what you did to me, is that it?" 

He didn't answer her. 

"Doctor?" Rose walked over to him. "You said what you did was forbidden. Would they enforce that if they knew?" she asked.

The Doctor immediately shook his head. "No, Time Lord's predate the Shadow Proclamation. They have no influence over our legal system."

"Then what?"

The Doctor sighed again. "I'm afraid they might discover what you can do," he said, glancing at her. "What you're capable off and decide to use you. I can't let them do that."

"You mean use me as a weapon," Rose said, taking a step back.

She felt like she'd been punched in the gut. A weapon. That is what Annabelle Conn had called her. A beautiful weapon. A nuclear bomb just waiting to go off.

The Doctor looked over at her, ferocity in his eyes. "I'll never let anyone use you," he promised. "Do you hear me Rose? Over my dead body."

She nodded. "I'll stay in the TARDIS," she said.

The Doctor watched her for a moment longer. The TARDIS gave a sudden jolt. The Doctor read the readout on the screen.

"Could you push down those three buttons over there?" he asked Rose, pointing to a spot on the console. "The green ones." 

Rose nodded and hurried over to the area he indicated. She pushed down the three buttons and the TARDIS stopped shaking. 

"Thanks," he said.

They rushed through the vortex and eventually, surprisingly enough made a soft landing.

"Are we here?" Rose asked, The Doctor nodded. He drew on his coat that was conveniently hanging over the railing and came over to her. He raised his hands as though he meant to take hers. But stopped and let his hands drop.

"Just stay here," he told her. "I'll find out what's happening and we'll fix it."

Rose gave him a nod. Again he seemed to want to move towards her but stopped himself. He turned around and walked away. "I'll see you later," he said and reached for the door knob to the TARDIS doors.

"Not if I see you first," Rose replied thoughtlessly. 

She fell silent as she saw the Doctor's shoulder tense up.  
She would bet the exact same memory was flashing by inside their minds. An impossible planet at the edge of a black hole. The Doctor promising to come back. She having every faith that he would. The Doctor pushed open the TARDIS door and left.

Rose waited until he had closed the door behind him before cursing silently to herself. Stupid. She forced the thought from her mind and hurried over to the screen mounted to the console. 

She turned the dials until a clear picture of the Doctor standing outside the TARDIS appeared on the screen. 

Opposite him stood a troupe of strange looking aliens with head's like rhinoceroses. Clad all in black leather, strong and silent. They must be the police, he’d spoken of.

She watched as the Doctor went with them, eventually disappearing out of sight. She sighed in frustration and fiddled some more with the dials until the camera shifted and spotted him again.

The Rhino-things ushered the Doctor into another room. A large white one, with a high ceiling. A woman met him. She was dressed in a black floor length dress, loosely fitted and official looking. Her hair and skin were papery white and red lined her scarlet eyes. 

Rose could tell she was speaking but she couldn't hear anything. Rose changed the settings on the screen and sound filled the speakers.

"You cannot possibly exist," the woman told the Doctor.

"Yeaaah," the Doctor replied in a voice that relayed that he'd heard this many times before. "More to the point, I have a missing planet."

"Then perhaps you are not as wise as legend would have it," the woman said. 

Rose thought she sounded a tad smug as she said it and Rose got the feeling this woman didn't particularly like having a legend standing in front of her. A legend that didn't necessarily abide by her rules.

"There are twenty-six planets as of now. Taken out of time and space."

"Show me," the Doctor told her. 

The woman strode over to a computer and the Doctor hurried over to her side. Rose followed them with the camera.

The Doctor pressed a button and large holographic images of the missing twenty-six planets filled the room. The Doctor went through the list, muttering the names of the planets to himself.

"You missed one," he said. The woman glared at the Doctor's back.

"We do not miss things, Doctor," she told him frostily.

The Doctor punched in some buttons on the computer and the lost moon of Poosh appeared next to the other holographic images. Suddenly the projections of the lost planets rearranged themselves.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing," the Doctor told her, strolling over to look more closely at the holograms. "They rearranged themselves into the optimal pattern," he said. "Like parts of an engine."

A little blip appeared on the screen in front of Rose, blinking. What did that mean? The Doctor had started calculations of the bee- migration Donna had mentioned. He'd said it would take a long time. Could the blip mean it was done? 

Rose pressed her finger to the blip and the image of the Doctor wandering around holographic representations of planets minimised to one corner of the screen.

Rose sighed as she saw what filled the rest of the screen. Circular Gallifreyan. The one language the TARDIS didn't translate and one she couldn't hope to understand.

"I can't read this," Rose said out loud, exasperated. There was a hum from the TARDIS. "I don't know what that means either," she told the ship. 

The TARDIS hummed again, more insistent this time and that's when Rose realised that the hum was coming from inside her head.

Rose closed her eyes. Immediately a feeling of escape overtook her. Warnings. Leaving. Fleeing.

Rose opened her eyes and looked at the TARDIS.

"The bees left...? What the whole planet?" she asked. "So now bees are aliens? Give me a break." She ran her fingers through her hair, brushing it out of her eyes. 

"Okay, so where did they go...or, more importantly how did they know to leave? Some kind of warning or signal? Something only they could hear?" Rose mused. 

"If there was some sort of signal is there any way to track it?" Rose looked at the screen and the symbols changed, not that any of it made any more sense to her. 

"Is that what you're doing now?" Rose asked, squinting at the circular shapes not understanding one word of it.

She growled with frustration and spun away from the console. She turned back and looked at the image of the Doctor. He was still talking to the woman. Be done, Rose thought impatiently. 

The Doctor was talking about having seen something similar before, a long time ago.

This was taking too long, Rose thought, rocking back on the balls of her feet. They needed to find the missing planets now. They needed to stop whatever was happening. Time was running out, she could feel it slipping through her fingers. She walked across the room and opened the TARDIS door a crack.

Rose peeked out. The hallway that led to the room where the Doctor seemed to still be talking and inspecting the holograms was empty. 

Rose sneaked outside, closing the door carefully behind her. All she needed to do was discreetly get the Doctor's attention. And besides, even if they did spot her what exactly were they going to do? She tiptoed down the corridor.

Maybe she could reach him with her mind. But it was something she felt reluctant to do because every time they did it felt as though the strings tying them to each other twined together just a little tighter. Just being apart from him had been physically painful. Any tighter and they might not be able to be separated at all.

Rose crept closer. Carefully she peeked out into the room. She saw the Doctor standing in the middle of it, his specs on, surveying the holograms while muttering to himself. The woman from the Shadow Proclamation was watching him.

There was a strange mix of awe and distaste in her expression. Rose did a little wave with her hand to try and get the Doctor's attention but he was too focused on the holograms to notice. 

She drew back and sighed with frustration. She just knew that the information the TARDIS had provided was important. Possibly even vital and they were running out of time. 

She knocked her fist against the wall and took a deep breath. The Doctor was going to get so very cross with her, she thought and took a step out.

At first no one noticed her. She walked into the room, back straight and head held high. Show no fear. Never show fear. It was how the Doctor did it and it always seemed to work for him.

The room suddenly burst into motion, the rhino-things springing into action. Within a few seconds they had her surrounded, weapons aimed. 

Rose raised her hands slowly to show she wasn't a threat. Not at the moment anyway.

She looked up and her eyes met the Doctor's. He was staring at her. A brief flash of surprise crossed his face before his gaze turned hard. 

The rhinos where shouting at her in a strange sort of monosyllable language. The woman with the crimson eyes stepped forwards.

"What is the meaning of this?" she demanded. "Who are you?"

The Doctor hurried forwards. "She's with me," he hastened to say. "She's harmless, I assure you." 

Rose turned her eyes to the woman and found her red eyes fixed on her. She tilted her head a little to the side as she regarded Rose. Latent physic ability, Rose remembered the Doctor saying.

"I don't know what she is," the woman said. "But harmless is a word I don't think I'd use." 

She raised her chin, looking down her nose at Rose. The rhinos still had their guns pointed at her, their eyes watchful.

"What is your name?" the woman demanded to know.

"Rose Tyler," Rose answered steadily, lowering her hands. "I'm not here to harm anyone so you can tell the big fellows to put their guns down, yeah?"

"How did you get in here?" the woman asked.

"Like the Doctor said..," Rose told her, a hint of impatience in her voice. She was pretty sure they did not have time for this. "...I'm with him." She nodded her head in the Doctor's direction.

"I suggest you do as she says," the Doctor pointed out. "Or you'll have storms and wolves on your hands."

He caught Rose's eye and winked at her. She gave him a crocked smile in return. The Oncoming Storm and the Bad Wolf. The Shadow Proclamation better watch out. 

The woman was looking from one to the other. Finally she gave the rhinos a nod and they lowered their weapons.

Rose could feel the Doctor at the edge of her mind but she kept the walls up as best she could. It was more difficult now when everything inside her had seemed to crumble.

Keeping the energy contained outside the TARDIS was also a struggle. She needed to find some way to hold herself together even if only momentarily. 

The rhinos holstered their weapons and stepped back. The Doctor walked over to her.

"You alright?" he asked her. He clasped her hand but she immediately drew it out of his. His eyes watched her suspiciously.

"I'm okay," she assured him.

He leaned down towards her. "I do recall telling you to stay in the TARDIS," he pointed out.

"Do I ever do what you tell me to?"

He rolled his eyes."No, I don't know what I was expecting," he muttered.

"Would either of you care to tell me what is going on here?" the women interrupted, her voice cool with authority. 

The Doctor tore his worried gaze away from Rose and turned around to face her.

"Rose Tyler," he said. "May I introduce the Shadow Architect, the elected leader of the Shadow Proclamation."

Rose gave the woman a nod in greeting but the Architect stayed motionless, keeping her dark red eyes on them.

"And what are the rhino-things?" Rose whispered to the Doctor.

"Judoon," the Doctor answered. "The muscle. Hired muscle."

"Mercenaries?" Rose asked.

"Essentially, yes," the Doctor confirmed.

"If your mate or concubine is done with her inquiry perhaps we can return to the matter at hand," the Architect declared, her frosty glare glued to the Doctor.

"I'm sorry, what?"

The Architect turned her gaze on Rose. "Are you not then?" she asked coldly.

"Do I look like a prostitute to you?"

"Rose," the Doctor warned.

"I meant no offence," the Architect explained. "He has clearly claimed you but I see no object of acknowledgement on you. It was a logical conclusion, Miss Tyler."

The Doctor's fingers wrapped around Rose's wrist as though to halt her. A tingle rushed up her arm and Rose immediately tore free from his hold. Rose's eyes inadvertently flickered up to the Doctor's who turned away. But not before she saw the hurt in his eyes.

"I think we can agree that the nature of my relationship with Rose is none of your concern Lady Architect," the Doctor said, his voice cool.

The Shadow Architect watched them for a moment and then sighed with annoyance. "Well I assume the girl rushed in here for a reason," she pressed.

The Doctor turned to Rose. His eyebrows rose in question, all traces of the pain she'd seen at her rejection gone. He was clearly eager for her explanation since he had after all strictly told her to stay in the TARDIS.

"She finished the calculations," Rose said. The Doctor's eyes narrowed. "I think the bees fled because they knew something was coming. They got some sort of warning. Something only they could hear."

Rose could see the wheels beginning to turn inside the Doctor's head.

"The Tandocca scale?" the Doctor mumbled thoughtfully. "The Tandocca scale!"

He ran over to the computer, Rose smiling a little as she watched him go. It was wonderful seeing him that way. Full of energy and purpose. He began frantically punching in numbers.

"Tandocca scale, Doctor?" Rose inquired.

"It's a series of wavelengths used as carrier signals by migrating insects," he explained. "Infinitely small, virtually undetectable if you're not looking for it." He punched in more keys. 

The Lady Architect came walking over to Rose. She moved slowly, fluently. She stopped next to her.

"He says he is a Time Lord," she said to Rose without looking at her.

"That he is," Rose confirmed.

"Then he is the last of his kind," the woman pointed out. 

Rose nodded. 

"He shouldn't exist." The Architect's eyes shifted to Rose. "And neither should you I think."

Rose felt a shiver of apprehension rush down her spine.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Rose asked, folding her arms across her chest and staring the Architect down.

"The fact that you do is... unsettling. To say the least," the Architect said. "It has the potential to fulfill prophecies as old as time itself. Prophesies that should never, ever be realised."

"How would you know?" Rose asked.

"The last who will sacrifice all for the sake of one?"

Rose felt the words like a vibration through her chest. She knew them. She'd spoken them herself but without knowing where they came from. They had scared the Doctor. They spoke of the end, he'd said. A prophecy as old as time. Waiting in the time vortex for the right one. Then it struck her. The time vortex.

Suddenly Rose knew where she'd heard those words. When she'd looked into the TARDIS and absorbed the Time Vortex. Words that had been waiting. Waiting first for the Doctor when he was child and then for her when she turned into the Bad Wolf. But were they a warning or a promise? Had the prophecy been averted or was its realisation yet to come?

"How do you know those words?" Rose asked, finding it difficult to swallow, struggling to sound casual.

"It is you then?" the Architect said, half a question and half a statement. 

Rose said nothing. 

"Those words echo through time," the Architect said. "You just have to know how to listen."

She tilted her head a little as she considered the Doctor where he was still putting calculations into the computer. 

"The thing about prophesies is that they are all about choices," she said. "If it will be him that has to make it when the final choice comes or you, I do not know." 

Rose glanced over at the woman. She stood with her hands behind her back, her face cold and impassive. 

"The important thing is it is never to be made."

"There it is!" the Doctor suddenly exclaimed. "The transmat that took the Earth is running on the same frequency which means we can track it! Yes!"

The Shadow Architect stepped towards the Doctor. Rose didn't even notice as she nodded to the Judoon.

"Very good, Doctor," she said. "I must admit I am impressed."

Two big Judoon suddenly appeared on either side of Rose. They grabbed her before she had a chance to react. She tried to pull free. But it was no use. The Doctor looked up as she cried out.

"What are you doing?" he asked the Shadow Architect.

"I'm afraid we can't allow her to go with you, Doctor," she said.

Rose struggled against the Judoon even though it hurt. She felt energy moving inside her. Her hold on it was so very fragile. She struggled to lock it down. 

If the Doctor was worried they'd try and use her as a weapon by her just showing up, Rose couldn't imagine what they might want to do if she gave them a practical demonstration.

"Let me go!" she ordered. But neither of the Judoon moved so much as an inch.

"You will come to thank us. Trust me," the Architect assured.

"Trust you?" the Doctor said with disbelief. "Your actions don’t exactly inspire trust." A snarl twisted his lips. He was getting angry.

"It is for everyone's sake. We will keep her here for now."

The Doctor stepped out from behind the desk.

"You have no right to keep her," he told her quite simply. "I suggest for your own sake that you let her go right now." 

Rose noticed his tight clenched fists. So at odds with his calm, conversational tone. This is where you run, Rose thought about the Shadow Architect and her Judoon.

"It is..-" the Architect began again but the Doctor quickly interrupted her.

"I don't care why you are doing this. I care that you do as I say. Release her."

"I'm afraid I can't do that," the Architect replied with steel.

Rose watched as the Doctor's face darkened. It was like the whole lighting in the room dimmed in tuned with his mood.

"Give her back to me," he growled. "Now."

"You have no authority here, Doctor," the Architect pointed out, the barest flutter in her voice. Even she could not fail to notice that she was dealing with something ancient and powerful.

"I'm a Time Lord," the Doctor said, no mistaking the command in his tone. "There is no higher authority than me."

This was the ancient being shining through the Doctor's eyes, Rose thought. The man who had lived for over nine-hundred years and seen civilisations rise and fall.

"Your race is long since dead," the Architect told him.

"Yes, but I am not," the Doctor said. "Release her now." 

Rose could tell his patience was wearing thin.

"We've heard of the fury of the Time Lords in whispers and legends of the higher species," the woman said. "It belongs in battle, Doctor. Now, whoever stole these planets and whatever they intend they have declared war. There is a time for talk and a time to fight. Now is the time to fight."

The Doctor walked over to the Lady Architect. He stopped mere inches away, glaring down at her.

"You can do whatever you want with your little police force," he told her, effectively making the woman feel infinitesimal and Rose could tell how furious it made her. "But if you don't do as I say within the next ten seconds you will learn just why there are legends that have endured for hundreds of years. And why you should fear them."

"Doctor...-"

"Nine," he interrupted her.

"You can't...-"

"Eight."

"Listen to me...-"

"Seven."

"Doctor...-"

"Six."

The Doctor's eyes burned with dark promise. There was a tightening just in the corners of the Architects eyes and a slight tremor in her hands. Rose couldn't tell if the tremor was out of fear or frustration. Perhaps both.

"Five," the Doctor continued to count. The Architect glared at him, holding her ground.

"I am trying to prevent destruction," she insisted. 

But the Doctor ignored her."Four," he said. 

The Architect clenched her jaw, refusing to budge. She was brave. Rose had to give her that.

"Three...

...Two...

One."

A deafening noise rang in their ears and the whole building shook. The Judoon lost their grip on Rose and she stumbled to the ground. The Doctor didn't miss a beat. He rushed over to Rose and yanked her to her feet.

"Run!" he yelled and took her hand, pulling her with him.

"Doctor!" they heard the Lady Architect's scream echo behind them.

They ran for the TARDIS. The building shook again. Could they even enter any kind of structure anymore without it falling down around them? They ran through the hallway, crashing to a stop at the TARDIS. 

The Doctor fished his key out of his pocket just as a laser blast whisked by right next to them. Rose turned around to find a troupe of Judoon rushing towards them.

"Hurry!" Rose screamed at the Doctor. He pushed the key into the lock and turned it. Another blast nearly got Rose in the shoulder. She stumbled to the side as the Doctor pushed opened the doors. 

He took Rose and flung her inside, throwing himself in after her. He landed on the grated floor and kicked the doors closed before he scrambled to his feet.

"What was that?!"

They both hurried over to the console. The Doctor immediately began pressing buttons and pulling levers to get them out of there.

"An armed cruiser," he told her.

"An armed cruiser?" Rose asked with incomprehension. "An armed cruiser decided to shoot up the Shadow Proclamation just as you were conveniently counting down to zero. How did you know?"

"I saw it coming on the screen as I was done with the calculations," the Doctor explained hastily, putting the TARDIS in flight, the familiar whining sound filling the room. 

"I had planned on telling them about it but then they went and threatened you and I thought to hell with them."

"To hell with them? Yeah well, can't argue," Rose said. 

The TARDIS shook as it hurled itself into space.

"Do we have a destination?" Rose asked. The Doctor was fiddling with the dials on the screen.

"What did you do with this?" he asked. "It's all... messy."

"I don't read Gallifreyan!" Rose pointed out in frustration.

The Doctor glanced over at her with a surprised sort of look like he had expected she did. Then he gave her a crocked little smile. "I'll teach you someday." he said.

Rose, unable to help herself smiled back at him. She joined him at console. As she did there was a sense of finality to it and she was somehow sure he felt it to. 

The end was coming. Rushing towards them. Choices would be made and battles lost. Rose glanced over at the Doctor as he turned his attention back to the screen.

"Ah, here we go," the Doctor declared. Rose stepped to his side."See here," he said, pointing at a blip on the screen.

"That's a blip." Rose stated the obvious.

"Yes, it is!" the Doctor confirmed. "A blip we can follow."

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·


	17. I need you like I need air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Rose hurry to find the lost planets and once they do a horrible truth is revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so much everyone who’s left kudos and comments!! I loove you all!

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

They rushed through space, following a trail that was nothing more than a glimmer of hope. But if a glimmer is all they had then that would have to be enough. They'd faced worse odds after all.

As soon as the Doctor was able he let the TARDIS fly and turned to Rose.

"Alright, so what happened?" he asked, folding his arms across his chest, his eyes intent on her.

"You want to do this now?" Rose asked incredulously.

"The TARDIS can handle the flying for a bit," The Doctor replied.

He raised his eyebrows at her, inviting her to answer. Rose's gaze dropped. She fiddled with some button on the console.

"I told you to stay in the TARDIS," the Doctor told her. "I told you the Shadow Proclamation was not to be trusted. I admit that they have their uses but they have a tendency to shoot first and ask questions later."

"Sorry," Rose told him. "But it was important. We were in a hurry."

"What did it?" the Doctor asked. "What set them off, do you know?" 

Rose leaned back against the console. She rubbed at her arms, a desperate bid for warmth in the coldness of space.

"The Architect lady she wanted to know if you were the last," Rose said. "The last of your kind." 

The Doctor narrowed his eyes at this.

"Why would that interest her?" he asked.

"She knew that prophecy thing," Rose said. "The one that scared you. The last will sacrifice all for the sake of one?"

"What?" The Doctor straightened, surprised. "How could she?"

"She said the words echo. Through time." Rose wasn't quite looking at him. "You just had to know how to listen."

The Doctor ran shaking fingers through his hair.

"That's not all," Rose said. He turned to her. "I remembered how I knew the words. It was when I looked into the heart of the TARDIS. It was like they'd been waiting there for me. In the Time Vortex."

"But it's over," the Doctor tried and Rose could hear the hint of desperation in his voice, how dearly he wanted that to be true. "You pulled it back. Everything didn't end."

"No," Rose agreed. "But it still could, right? I mean prophesies are all about interpretation, yeah? How do we know it's not still out there, waiting?" 

The Doctor shook his head. "No," he said in denial.

"Think about it, Doctor," Rose tried to reason with him. "This is just one more bit of proof that...-"

The TARDIS jolted to a sudden halt, cutting Rose off.

"What was that?" she asked in surprise. 

The Doctor tore his gaze away from her and turned to the screen. "No," he breathed. 

Rose hurried over to him. "What?"

"The trail," he said. "It's gone."

"Gone? What do you mean, gone?" 

Rose turned her eyes to the screen. But it was still all swirls and circular patterns that meant nothing to her.

"It ends here," the Doctor explained. "The trail ends here."

"So where are all the planets?"

The Doctor stared ahead. "I don't know," he said.

This was not allowed to happen, Rose thought desperately. They had to stop this or what was the point. Her family, her mum, Pete, Tony, Mickey they would all be in danger. Everyone would. The stars were going out everywhere. If this was connected then it could be the end of everything.

"Doctor, we have to do something." Rose clasped his hand and his fingers immediately tightened around hers like a reflex. "Doctor?"

"I… I don't know what..." he trailed off.

"No, don't say that. Focus. Just concentrate," Rose urged.

She squeezed his hand, her fear for the people she loved and all those innocent lives forcing everything else from her mind.

"If there is one thing we don't do it is give up," she told the Doctor with conviction. "We never give up."

The Doctor glanced over at her. He was tired, she could tell. But despite that he gave her a thankful smile. He reached out on impulse and brushed his hand over the curve of her cheek. 

The touch was so light she could barely feel it. But that didn't matter. The tingle still ran over her skin.

She closed her eyes and shivered, the sensation moving like a ripple through her. Impossible to fight. 

"I need to touch you like I need air," the Doctor said and Rose knew exactly what he meant. It was like gravity. "But I know that each time I do it will only make it harder when..." 

The Doctor swallowed hard, unable to get the words out.

Rose opened her eyes. His was tortured but soft. So soft. Reaching up, Rose interlaced her fingers with his, turning his hand over and planting a kiss in his palm. 

It made him draw in a hiss of breath. Rose’s eyes flickered back to his. Worried she’d somehow hurt him. But he shook his head. He pulled her a step closer. Just a step and suddenly it felt as though he was all around her. Enveloping her. Rose had never felt safer or so much in danger. 

Because she knew just as he did, that every time they got close the link between them got stronger. 

The Doctor was the one who finally withdrew. He pulled his hands out of hers and straightened.

Rubbing at his tired eyes he tried to focus his mind on the task at hand. But trying to push Rose from his mind was like trying to tear out a heart. 

He could feel her eyes on him. The hope and faith in them. She trusted that he would find a way to solve this. To get them there. Wherever there was. She would never let him wallow in self-pity. She expected better from him. 

So the Doctor rubbed at his neck, forcing his mind to the problem in front of them.

How did they follow a trail that no longer existed? he thought. But why had it even stopped here to begin with? Right here? Why?

Both the Doctor and Rose froze as a ringing sounded through the TARDIS.

"What's that?" the Doctor looked up in surprise. For a moment his brain did not seem to be able to process the sound.

"Phone," Rose said with disbelief. The Doctor rushed around the console and grabbed a mobile he'd completely forgotten he even had.

"Martha's phone," he said with delight. He flicked it opened and put it to his ear. "Martha!" All he heard as a reply was a beep. "There's a signal!" he exclaimed. 

He rushed back to the screen.

"We can follow that?" Rose asked. 

The Doctor nodded.

He locked the TARDIS onto the signal and the TARDIS jerked ahead. The Doctor and Rose clasped the edge of the console, both long used to the quick reflexes needed to stay on your feet in the TARDIS.

"We've locked on!" The Doctor called in delight. "The signal is pulling us through!"

"Through what? Time?" Rose asked as she struggled to hold on.

"Yes!" He stared at the screen. "Pocket universe. Oh, that is clever! Someone's put the entire Medusa Cascade one second out of sync with the rest of the universe. Perfect hiding place!"

"Oh, I hate it when you complement the bad guys," Rose said. "Remember they're trying to destroy the universe,” she reminded him.

"It’s still clever," the Doctor felt compelled to point out.

Rose rolled her eyes as the TARDIS gave a good shake making her lose her grip. She just managed to catch a hold of the console and stay on her feet.

"You alright?" the Doctor asked her, just stopping himself from reaching out and steadying her. He flipped a couple of switches instead, the shaking easing up a bit.

"Yeah," she said. "Fine." 

The Doctor's eyes widened as he stared at the screen. "Rose, get over here," he said. 

She made it over to his side.

The screen was showing an image of the space outside the TARDIS. Rose was staring at twenty-seven planets perfectly arranged in relation to each other.

"Oh, my god," Rose breathed. 

A big red coloured planet moved to reveal the familiar shape of the Earth. 

"It's here. We made it." Relief filled Rose's chest at the sight of the Earth. 

All the planets were moving on their own axis, their gravitational pulls keeping them in perfect unison. 

The Earth moved to reveal a massive structure in the middle of the circling planets. It was sphere shaped, divided in the middle by a rim to which there were attached at least five arms ending in, what looked like docking stations. Though it had the shape and size of a planet, Rose could see metal gleam among artificial light.

"What is that?" Rose breathed, just as a familiar saucer shaped ship docked at one of the stations. She knew that ship. She'd seen it before. She'd seen hundreds of them.

"Daleks." The Doctor’s voice dropped to a growl, hate colouring it with darkness. 

There wasn't much hatred within the Doctor. There was anger and fury and compassion and love but there was not much he hated. Except the Daleks. They were the reason he'd lost his people. Lost everything he'd known. 

And though his race had died, leaving him alone in the universe the Daleks somehow always seemed to survive.

Rose took his hand. She couldn't let him think he was alone. Not now.

"We got a call," he said darkly. 

He pressed a button and a face came onto the screen. Rose had to fight the urge to draw back in revulsion.

It was a horribly aged and sagged face, deep lines cutting into its forehead and cheeks. Its skin was papery and decayed. 

There were no eyes in the eye-sockets. Skin was stretched over the hollow space, wrinkled and discoloured. 

There was some sort of metal brace attached to its head and wires were plugged into its skull. In the centre of its forehead was a glowing blue eye. Glowing like the eyestalk of the Daleks, Rose realised with horror. 

The lips of the creature twisted in a terrible, triumphant smile.

"Doctor," he said with satisfaction, the voice with a mechanical ring to it. Looking at him was like looking at a Dalek made of flesh and bone.

"Davros." The Doctor stared at the screen, his eyes filled with confusion and disbelief. "You're dead," he said. "At the gates of Elysium. I saw your ship fly into the jaws of the nightmare child."

"Yet here I am, Doctor," Davros said with his eerily mechanical voice. "I've been waiting for you. You needed to be here for this. The rise of my new empire. Davros, the father of all Daleks.

"So it's you then. You were behind this. All of it," the Doctor said and Davros smiled, the movement twisting his features into a horrible mask.

The Doctor was looking at Davros as though he wanted nothing more than to kill him with his bare hands. But Davros was looking at the Doctor as though he was seeing an old friend. As though he had waited years for this reunion.

"Where is she?" Davros asked, an eagerness in his voice that sent a shiver of worry down Rose's spine. "Show her to me, Doctor. Show me your Bad Wolf." 

The Doctor turned his head and looked at Rose in shock. 

"Show me my creation," Davros said with a terrible glee.

The Doctor's head snapped back to the screen. "What?!" he asked in surprised fear and Rose felt her blood run cold. 

Her hold on the Doctor's hand tightened until she feared it might be painful. Yet she could not ease it. 

Davros laughed. 

"What are you talking about?!" the Doctor screamed at the screen.

"Doctor," she said, trying hopelessly to calm him.

"What do you mean?!" he barked at Davros and all Davros did was laugh. A horrible, twisted, mechanical laugh. He laughed until the picture cut out and the screen went dark.

Rose stumbled back, her hand slipping from the Doctor's.

Show me my creation.

Rose shook her head, trying to clear her mind of the words, the echo of Davros’s triumphant laugh. That twisted thing could not have anything to do with what happened to her. What happened to them. It wasn't possible. It just wasn't possible.

"Rose..." Her eyes snapped up at the sound of her name.

"No," was all she managed to say.

The Doctor took a cautious step towards her. Fear filled her eyes and her name fell from his lips on a single breath. 

Brushing a tear from her cheek the Doctor pulled her into his arms. Rose went without hesitation. She didn't think she could have remained standing on her own for another minute. She needed him. Needed him as she needed air.

Rose's arms came around him. She held on tightly, fearing that if she let go she would lose him forever. Lose everything.

"It's going to be alright," he whispered in her ear. 

She clutched at his jacket, fighting the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. 

"I won't let him hurt you. Never."

Rose buried her face against the Doctor's shoulder. But she couldn't get Davros' words out of her head. It was as though he had put a snare around her neck and it was tightening.

"Tell me it was a lie," Rose mumbled into his shoulder. "Tell me he lied." 

She was pleading. The Doctor kissed her temple, sending a reassuring caress across her mind. But he didn't answer her. Didn't speak one lie to reassure her. He as done with lies.

Rose shivered in the protective circle of his arms. She wanted to stay like this. Just like this. Her eyes closed to the world, feeling nothing but the Doctor. 

But she couldn't. She knew they couldn't. Reality was pressing in at the edges. So she drew in a shaky breath and pulled away from him. The Doctor reluctantly let her go.

Slowly he turned to the monitor. "That signal on Martha's phone," he said. "It came from somewhere." 

He couldn’t help but glance back at her. Rose gave him, what she hoped was a reassuring smile. She didn’t want him to worry. They had enough to worry about. But the frown line between his brows did not go away. He drew his attention away from her with obvious reluctance.

The Doctor began running his fingers rapidly over the keys on the console.

"We just have to pinpoint it," he was saying, his fingers continuing their tapping. 

Rose brushed her hair out of her face and wrapped her arms around herself. She felt cold to the bone.

"Ohh, I've got something," the Doctor said. 

He turned the dials on the monitor and a familiar face appeared on it. Rose stared at it in utter shock.

"Jack?"

He was flanked by two people she didn't know. A man in a suit and a dark haired woman that looked strangely familiar.

"Rose?" Jack asked, staring at her. His eyes turned to the Doctor. "You found her."

"Hang on," the Doctor said, turning more dials. 

The screen split and Sarah Jane appeared on the screen next to Captain Jack.

"Doctor!" she exclaimed in delight. "And Rose!" 

Rose grinned. She’d never thought to see any of them again. 

The Doctor turned the dials some more and Martha appeared.

"Doctor!" she smiled as she saw them. 

And last but not least Donna's face appeared next to Martha's.

"Oi! What in the bloody hell is going on?!" she demanded to know.

"Nice to see you too Donna," Rose said. 

Donna's face softened as she saw Rose. "You alright?" she asked. 

Rose nodded. “Definitely a whole lot better now that I get to see you all.” 

"I assume we have all of you to thank for the signal that came through on Martha's phone," the Doctor said.

"It was a joint effort," Martha smiled.

"Good job." The Doctor beamed at them, infinitely proud of what they had achieved.

"Doctor, it's the Daleks," Jack quickly cut them off, getting down to business.

"I know," the Doctor replied.

"They're supposed to be extinct," Jack insisted.

"They were supposed to be extinct the last time too, Jack," the Doctor pointed out.

"They're everywhere," Sarah Jane said, fear thick in her voice. "They're killing people. Anyone who resists."

"It's worse than that, Sarah Jane," the Doctor told her solemnly. The woman's face fell. "It's Davros." 

Sarah Jane shook her head vigorously. "He's dead," she said, the fear in her eyes doing nothing to ease Rose's about what Davros had said. 

Sarah Jane was brave. If she was this scared it was for a good reason.

"You don't know how badly I wish that were true," the Doctor said, glancing at Rose. He drew in a hasty breath, gathering himself.

"I'm putting the TARDIS down in London," he told them. "We're sitting ducks out here. I've masked the transmission so no one can listen to anything we say but I can't hold the signal for much longer so if you got something important I need to know. This is the time."

There was silence for a moment.

"You're not alone," Martha said with a quiet smile. 

Her words caused the Doctor to go very still.

"Yeah, we all got your back," Jack concurred.

"Always," Sarah Jane joined in. 

Donna's gaze moved from the Doctor to Rose and back again. "Both of you," she said. 

Rose gave her a grateful smile. The screen began to flicker and the faces of all the people the Doctor had travelled with these last few years disappeared.

The Doctor began flipping switches and pulling levers, steering the TARDIS towards Earth.

"She was right you know," Rose said next to him. He glanced over at her. "You're not alone. Even if we're not..." she trailed off. "You're never alone," she finished, her gaze dropping from his.

The Doctor turned back to the controls. Rose hung on as he steered the TARDIS past the planets, into the Earth's atmosphere and landed on a dark street in the middle of London.

"Let's take a look," he said and headed for the doors. 

Rose followed after a moment of hesitation. The Doctor took a peak outside before he stepped out.

As Rose joined him she noticed they'd landed on a small side street leading up to Trafalgar. She could just hint the columns of the National Gallery in the distance.  
The city seemed eerily deserted. 

A few cars seemed to have collided further down the street, left there while the owners probably fled. Glass from broken windows littered the pavements, reflecting the light form the overhead street-lamps, making the shards glitter like diamonds.

Rose's eyes drew to the sky. It was a sky she'd never thought she'd see, standing on Earth. No longer did a lonely moon hang above, pale and solemn. Now the night was strewn with new stars and planets. Some of them so close she could distinguish their individual colour. 

One was gunmetal grey and another had stripes in cinnamon and gold. Surrounding them is what looked like storm clouds, lightning flashing inside them. 

But Rose had travelled with the Doctor long enough to know that they were not storm clouds. It was a nebula. Interstellar clouds of dust and helium and ionised gases. The colours of the clouds shifted in emerald green and ruby reds. It was a beautiful sight to behold.

"Why must something so terrible be so beautiful?" Rose asked as though of the sky itself. But the sky remained silent. 

The night however did not. She thought she could hear screaming in the distance. A harsh reminder that the battle was still raging.

The Doctor took a couple of steps back. "We should get back inside," he said and turned around, heading back to the TARDIS.

A flicker of light caught Rose's attention. She turned her head. She was staring onto a dark side-street. There was nothing there. 

She turned around to follow the Doctor into the safety of the TARDIS when one of the worst sounds in the world echoed through the dark night.

"EXTERMINATE!”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m gonna try to update once a week. Probably on Tuesdays from now on. Sorry this chapter was sort of a cliffhanger. Hope you liked it still!  
> I do have a tumblr for this story where I post some edits and outtakes and such if you wanna follow that. [ Link ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ifweburnweburntogether)


	18. Rain on fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Landing on Earth Rose and the Doctor attempt to locate their friends but a call for help sends them in another direction. A devastating one.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Rose twirled around, adrenaline rushing through her veins. She expected Daleks to come out of the shadows. For that blue light from their eyestalks to herald their arrival.

She took a couple of steps down the street, squinting into the darkness. She knew she should turn back and head for the TARDIS but what if someone was in trouble? What if she could help.

"Rose," she heard the Doctor call behind her. "What are you doing?" 

"I heard something," she answered absentmindedly. 

Her eyes searched the empty street. But it remained dark and quiet.

Turning back she saw the Doctor leaning out of the TARDIS looking at her. 

"Coming," she said and began walking back towards him.

Then a terrified scream cut through the night.

Rose twirled back around and ran before her mind had even caught up. She heard the Doctor call out her name. But the sound was drowned out by the blood rushing in her ears.

The scream rang out again. It was a female voice. A terrified female voice.

Rose picked up her pace. She jumped over a fallen bin, turning down another street. There she stopped.

The street lamps overhead were out, casting the street into darkness. Only the last light down the line flickered ominously on and off.

It illuminated a huddled up shape on the ground, only to cast it back into darkness. Rose felt her heart hammering away inside her chest as she stared at it.

"Hello?" she called out.

There was no response. Everything was quiet. Too quiet. Like the city itself was holding its breath.

“Hey?” she called out hesitantly. “Do you need help?”

"Please..." she heard a moan from the huddled shape.

Rose took off running down the street. Perhaps she should have been more careful. But she was incapable of resisting the call for help.

The Doctor came up behind her. "Rose," he hissed after her.

She heard the annoyance in his tone. The same tone that he used when he told her not to wander off. The tone she probably should listen to every now and then but never did.

Rose's gaze flickered around, trying to penetrate the darkness. There were alleys going off in both directions. Bottomless and black between the houses on either side of her.

Most of the shops had broken windows. Dark empty holes gaping at her.

Rose slowed down as she reached the lonely circle of light. She hunkered down next to the huddled up shape in it.

"Hey," Rose said carefully. "Are you alright?" She reached out her hand and pulled it over.

Rose fell back at the horrid sight. Lifeless, bloodshot eyes stared at her. It was a woman, an elderly woman. Her brown hair was caked with dried blood and her lips were opened in a silent 'oh' as though her end had come as a surprise.

Rose felt her heart clench inside her chest. Because as she stared at the dead face she realised she knew it. It was Harriet Jones.

Putting her hand to her mouth Rose tried to stop herself from screaming. She heard the pounding of the Doctor's footsteps against the pavement as he hurried to her.

"Doctor, stop!" she called without turning around. "It's a...-"

"Trap, yes," a woman's voice finished for her. 

Rose's head flipped around towards the sound. She stared into one of the dark alleys and watched as a shape materialised out of the darkness.

It was a tall, lean shape. A white pencil skirt hugged her slight curves. A delicate white silk blouse caught the light from the flickering streetlamp above. The woman's black hair was cut in a short bob, ending sharply at her chin. 

Rose noticed her long manicured nails were painted the same shade as her charcoal hair. 

Emerging as a spectre out of the dark alley, the woman smiled down at Rose. Annabelle Conn.

Annabelle held up a small device in her hand and pressed a button. 'Help me! please help me!' wailed out of it.

"Recorded it before she died," Annabelle explained simply, indicating the body next to Rose. "Took longer than I would have expected to get her to scream." 

She smiled fondly at the memory as Rose stared at her in horror. 

"Then, just before I snuffed the light out of her I said I would let her go. You should have seen the look on her face. So surprised." 

Annabelle Conn leaned her head a little to side as she looked at the woman she had murdered. "Well, I suppose you can," she said, her smile widening.

"You're insane," Rose breathed. 

She stared at Annabelle Conn because she couldn't bear to look at Harriet Jones. 

Annabelle turned her eyes to Rose. "Insanity is action avoid of reason Agent Tyler," she said. "What makes you think I had no reason?"

Rose scooted back and got to her feet, backing away from Annabelle Conn.

"ROSE - TY-LER - LO-CATED." 

Rose stopped at the sound of that heartless mechanical voice. Dalek. Her blood ran cold in her veins as she turned around. A Dalek was taking form out of one of the dark alleys.

"Rose." 

The Doctor held out his hand for her. She took a step towards him and the Dalek immediately aimed its exterminator gun at her. She stopped. 

Rose was no more than a few meters from the Doctor. But at the moment it seemed like a great wide chasm separated them. 

The Dalek rolled out onto the street.

"What do you want her for?!" the Doctor screamed at the Dalek. 

It turned from Rose, looking at the Doctor.

"DOC-TOR."

Rose had never heard a Dalek's voice coloured by anything other than hate. Except when they said the Doctor's name.  
Then you could hear the fear ingrained in their very DNA. 

Rose suspected there wasn't a Dalek alive that didn't know to fear the Doctor.

"ENEMY- OF- THE- DA-LEKS," the Dalek said.

"Yes, I'm your enemy. So take me and leave her!"

"All in due time, Doctor," Annabelle Conn said conversationally. 

Rose turned to her. "What do you want?" Rose asked.

"This isn’t about what I want, Agent Tyler," Annabelle said. "It is about what has to happen."

"And what is it that has to happen?" the Doctor asked, his voice hard, seething with anger.

Annabelle Conn looked at him and her lips spread in a terrible smile. Terrible because nothing that could make her smile like that could ever be good.

"You have to watch the woman you love die," Annabelle Conn said. 

The Dalek swivelled back towards Rose.

"EXTERMINATE!"

Rose could see the light gathering at the Dalek- gun. Her first thought was that she wished she could have had more time. Time to tell the Doctor everything she was afraid he no longer knew.

But death would be instantaneous. She would get no time.  
Rose saw a sudden light flare up out of the corner of her eye. 

In the next second the Dalek got blown to bits.

Rose started and turned. There stood none other than Captain Jack Harkness, looking as dashing as ever and holding a truly big gun.

"Jack!" she exclaimed in utter disbelief.

"Anything else needs shooting?" he asked of the entire street, keeping the massive gun raised. “I can tell you there is more where that came from!” 

He seemed to have materialised out of thin air. He must have teleported. Rose couldn't believe it. She wanted to run over and hug him a hundred times over. But her eyes drew irrevocably towards the Doctor. 

He stood staring at her as though she was the most amazing thing he'd ever seen. She smiled and ran towards him.

She heard the second Dalek before she saw it. Who knew how many were hiding in the shadows. She slowed and turned as that one dreaded word rang through the night. How many beings throughout history had died with that as the last thing they heard?

Exterminate...

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The Doctor saw Rose's eyes widen in shock as it hit her. 

Someone was screaming, the painful sound ringing in his ears. It took him a moment to realise it was him that was screaming. He watched as she fell to the ground and his entire world fell with her.

He ran forwards only to be stopped short.

"Doctor!" someone growled in his ear but he could not understand the word nor what it had to do with him.

He struggled against the arms holding him, desperately reaching for her. 

She was lying on the ground. Still, so frightfully still. It was his worst nightmare realised.

The Doctor managed to free himself from whoever was stopping him. But without the support he fell to his knees. 

He crawled towards her, reaching out his hand for hers were it lay lifeless and pale on the worn pavement. But he never made it.

Someone grabbed him and yanked him back. He struggled. He had to get to her. It was all that mattered. It was all he could think about.

Someone was screaming in his ear but he couldn't understand a single word.

Rose, he mouthed silently. It appeared to be the only word that still made sense to him. The most important, the most beautiful word ever spoken.

But she did not answer. Could not. She just lay there. An echo of the girl he loved. A memory. For all the things that made her Rose, was gone. The glow to her skin, the light in her eyes. 

A single second in time and his reason for existing was snuffed out. 

The words of whoever was screaming at the Doctor finally penetrated his mind.

"She's gone, Doctor! She's gone!"

She's gone.

She's gone.

The Doctor was yanked to his feet. He thought he could hear more Daleks. A lot more.

Whoever was trying to get him away was grunting with the effort. 

Blasts were going off and Daleks were getting blown to bits. An exterminator beam whisked past them so close the Doctor could feel the heat of it.

"STOP!" someone screamed. He thought it might be a woman. The sound seemed far away. Beyond his ability to properly perceive it. "Davros wants him alive!" the woman ordered. Annabelle Conn.

The Doctor's head jerked up and he saw her through the red haze clouding his vision. Fury like nothing he'd ever known blazed inside his chest. Annabelle bent down next to Rose.

Rose.

Rose dead.

Annabelle put two fingers to Rose's throat She checked for a pulse. The Doctor almost broke the arm holding him back in mindless rage. 

Annabelle straightened with a satisfied grin on her face. Satisfied because she had murdered what he loved.

The Doctor wanted to destroy her. Destroy Annabelle completely until there was nothing left. Not even ashes.

"Time to go," Annabelle Conn said into the small comm device in her hand.

No, the Doctor thought. You're not leaving until I'm done with you. He struggled against the arms restraining him. But whoever it was he was strong. 

The Doctor couldn't understand why he was being held back. His cause was just. Annabelle Conn deserved whatever he did to her.

A sudden light flared up around Annabelle Conn and Rose's dead body. The light winked out as quickly as it had appeared, taking Rose and Annabelle with it.

The Doctor tore himself free, not caring if he broke bones. 

He fell to his knees, not even feeling it as he hit the pavement. A scream was ripped from his throat. It was a terribly broken, inhuman cry. His hands clenched into fists at his sides. He raised his head and howled at the skies to bring her back to him.

A part of the Doctor actually thought that his word alone was enough to do it. But no answer came from the night. 

His hearts were beating like drums inside his chest, beating out the call for revenge. His blood surged through his body, giving strength to parts of himself he didn't even know he had. 

He took a breath and felt as though the world around him breathed with him.

The Doctor was so focused on the rage inside him that he didn't even notice as all the lights in the street flickered on. 

They quickly began glowing with an unnatural intensity. He clenched his fists so tightly his nails were digging into his skin. He knew he was drawing blood but he didn't feel it. Didn't care. All he felt was fury and rage. The lights overhead burst.

One by one they exploded. Sparks fell down all around them. Like rain caught on fire. The Doctor could feel the fear of the Daleks, feel them retreating. 

Just try to run, he thought. There is no place in this universe safe for you now.

Jack stared at the Time Lord brought to his knees. His fists were clenched at his sides. Burning fury were in every line of his face. The street ran awash with raining sparks of light and Jack realised he had seen the Doctor angry, even furious. But he'd never seen him vengeful.

The street plummeted into sudden darkness. Jack could hear the Doctor's laboured breathing. It was like the very city around them breathed with him. 

The Daleks were drawing back. Running. One by one the blue lights disappeared back into the shadows. 

The night became silent, as though movement and noise had been drawn out of it.

"Doctor?" Jack asked carefully. He received no reply. Slowly his eyes began to adjust to the darkness and he could hint the shape of the Doctor in front of him. He was still on his knees, his shoulders moving up and down with his laboured breathing. "Doctor?" Jack asked again.

He took a cautious step forwards, reaching out his hand to clasp the Doctor's shoulder. The Doctor didn't so much as twitch at the contact. Jack couldn't see his face in the dark.

"Doctor, we should go," he suggested. 

Nothing. 

Jack hesitated a moment before he reached down and hauled the Doctor to his feet. He went, but his body was limp as though he'd lost the power to stand on his own.

What the hell had just happened? 

Jack looped the Doctor's arm across his shoulders and pulled him with him. If the Doctor was here the TARDIS couldn't be far away.

They made their way through the dark London streets. Jack searched for the TARDIS. Further and further away they went from the place where she'd fallen. Where Rose had fallen.

"Jack!" someone called from behind them. 

Jack turned around and found Martha running towards him. Her face blanched as she saw what he was carrying.

"Is he...?" she trailed off as she reached them. 

Jack shook his head.

Martha put her hands to the Doctor's face, tilting it up so she could see him.

"We're trying to find the TARDIS," Jack said, looking around.

"Oh, it's back there," Martha said. 

She reluctantly let go of the Doctor, realising there was little she could do out there. 

"Sarah Jane and Donna Noble are already there."

They hurried through the night. Martha didn't ask where Rose was and Jack didn't tell her. He didn't think he could manage to get the words out if he tried.

They turned a corner and the welcomed sight of the TARDIS met them. Immediately Jack got the feeling that something was wrong.

The windows of the blue box was eerily dark. Donna and Sarah Jane stood leaning against a blue car. They straightened as they saw them. Worry flickered by behind their eyes when they saw the Doctor being dragged along by Jack.

"He's alive," Martha hastened to assure the two women. 

Both of them gave an obvious sigh of relief.

"Can you see if you can find the TARDIS key in one of his pockets?" Jack asked Martha.

"Sure," she answered and began searching.

She swiftly came up with the key in question. She used it to unlock the TARDIS door, stepping inside first. Jack followed her while Donna stopped. Her head flipped from side to side, looking around.

"Where is Rose?" she asked. 

Jack froze for one heartbeat before he continued on without answering.

As Jack stepped inside the TARDIS he could see he'd been right before. There was something wrong. The room used to be awash with light but it was dark now. Dark and gloomy. It looked... sad.

"What's wrong with her?" Sarah Jane asked as she came inside last, looking around the room. 

Jack put the Doctor down on the floor, leaning his back against the console. Martha was immediately there checking him.

"I don't know," Jack said.

"Doctor, can you hear me?" Martha asked him. Her voice clear and professional. There was no response from the Doctor. "What happened?"

Jack had no idea how to reply. How could he possibly tell them? How could he say the words? How could he even begin to explain?

"Where is Rose?" Donna asked again.

Jack squeezed his eyes shut. God, this hurt, he thought. He'd lost people before. Horrible, devastating losses and he never got used to it. Ever. 

When he opened his eyes Donna was standing right in front of him. All eyes in the room except the Doctor's were on him.

"Where is Rose?" Donna repeated.

"She..." Jack began but couldn't find it within himself to finish. "She..." he tried again. "She's gone."

"Gone?" Sarah Jane asked. "What do you mean, gone?"

"Dalek," Jack managed to get out. "The Daleks... They shot her."

"What!?" Donna exclaimed.

"It happened so quickly," Jack tried to explain.

Donna turned her eyes to the Doctor. "Oh, my god," she breathed. 

There was not only sadness in her voice but fear.

She left Jack and went over to the Doctor were he sat staring at nothing. She sat down in front of him. Next to Martha.

"Doctor..." she said softly and clasped his hand. There was no reaction.

"I can't see anything physically wrong with him," Martha said, her voice thick with worry.

Donna squeezed the Doctor's hand. "Doctor?" she tried again. "Please."

"He's been like that since..." Jack trailed off. 

He thought of the streetlights. How they exploded in sparks around them. The Doctor crying out as though his very soul had been ripped from his body.

"It's Rose," Donna explained. "This is bad."

"You wanna elaborate on that?" Jack asked.

Donna's eyes traced the Doctor's immobile face. It was like he wasn't even there anymore.

"He did something to Rose," Donna said.

"Did something?" Sarah Jane asked. "Did what?"

Donna shook her head. "I only got bits and pieces really. I wasn’t with them for very long." She looked up at the others. "Rose was dying and the Doctor saved her life. But it...had consequences, or something."

"What kind of consequences?" Martha asked.

"I don't know," Donna said. "But I think it linked them. I think they could feel what the other was feeling."

"That's insane," Martha said, rising to her feet and shaking her head.

"Maybe not..." Jack told them. "When Rose...When she... Something happened. He..." Jack trailed off, finding it impossible to explain what had happened. 

It hadn't been simply the physical manifestation of it. It had been something else. Something in the air. He had almost been able to taste it on his tongue. 

"It was...cosmic," he finished.

Everyone glanced over at the Doctor.

"If you are right," Sarah Jane was saying. "Then what happens when that link is severed?"

"This, I guess," Donna said sadly.

"You're all mad!" Martha told them. "He's just upset. He needs to snap out of it." She bent down in front of the Doctor, raised her hand and slapped him. Right across the cheek. "Doctor!"

But he didn't even move. Didn't flinch. Nothing. Martha raised her hand again but Jack caught it, stopping her.

"I think that's enough," he told her. 

Martha pulled free of Jack and stumbled back. "But we need him!" she told them in frustration. "People are dying and we need him!"

They all knew she was right. They didn't have the time or the luxury to mourn. But whatever was happening with the Doctor it wasn't simply mourning. It went far beyond that.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·


	19. Mea Maxima Culpa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The universe needs the Doctor but the loss of Rose has crippled him. His old companions stand by helplessly when aid comes from an unlikely source.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

A sudden banging brought everyone out of their momentary stupor.

"Hey! Anyone in there?!" Someone shouted from outside. 

Jack strode past them all and flung opened the door.  
"How on earth did you get here?" Jack asked the minute he did. 

Mickey pushed his way into the TARDIS. He held up a round, palm-sized device.

"Dimensional jump," he said. "Now where is Rose? Her mum is going mental." 

The minute the sound of her name echoed between the walls of the old ship everyone inside it stilled. Their gazes fell to floor, no one having the heart to face Mickey. 

"What?" he asked, looking around at them. His eyes landed on the Doctor where he sat. Unmoving. "What's wrong with 'im?" A hint of fear had creeped into Mickey’s voice.

"Mickey..." Jack began, struggling to form the words. 

Mickey turned to him, ready to demand answers. But the look on the Captain’s face made the words lodge painfully in his throat. 

Mickey shook his head. “No”, he said in sheer denial. For he knew. Surely he must. Jack Harkness didn’t falter easily. 

"She's gone," Jack said. 

Mickey continued shaking his head, refusing to acknowledge the words. 

Jack nodded. "I'm sorry, Mickey."

Mickey twirled around. She couldn’t be gone. Not her. Not Rose. Denial turned to anger at the flip of a coin. Anger strong enough to tighten his chest. Hard enough that he needed an outlet for it or he thought he might suffocate. 

Mickey's eyes returned the Doctor. He reached down and grabbed the lapels on the Doctor's suit. He shook him violently. Again and again.

"You were supposed to keep her safe!" Mickey screamed at him. "You bastard! You promised!" 

Jack grabbed Mickey, trying to tear him away. But Mickey had a death grip on the Doctor. "You promised Jackie! You promised all of us!" Jack's muscles strained as he tried to break Mickey away. "She loved you! She loved you and you killed her!"

"That's enough, Mickey," Jack growled. But Mickey wasn't hearing him.

"She trusted you!"

"Mickey, stop," Jack tried. 

If he didn't get Mickey away he was going to tear the Doctor to pieces. And Doctor would let him. He was doing nothing to defend himself, simply letting Mickey shake him like a rag-doll. 

"A little help!" Jack barked out at the others. 

Donna and Martha grabbed Mickey. They struggled to unbend his fingers from his iron grip. Jack yanked hard. Finally Mickey went with him, his fingers slipping.

Mickey pushed free of Jack. "Get off me!" he screamed. 

Jack held up his hands in a show of surrender. "Hey, I'm not the enemy here," Jack said.

"No," Mickey agreed and made another beeline for the Doctor. 

Jack lunged himself after Mickey and managed to grab him before he reached his target. Jack yanked him back.

"It was the Daleks," Jack growled at Mickey. "It wasn't the Doctor's fault." 

Mickey struggled to free himself. "He promised," Mickey growled back.

"I know," Jack told him. "He tried. Trust me. He tried." Jack gave the kid a good shake. "Just look at him," he insisted.

Mickey's eyes flickered down to the Doctor were he was sitting. And for the first time he really saw him. Not as an outlet for his grief or his anger. But really saw him. 

The Doctor was half leaning against the console. His clothes were a mess, his face was pale and his eyes vacant. It was like looking at a doll or a statue. An echo of life but nothing more. 

As he stared Mickey began to calm down. A bitter sense of triumph settled around his heart. Because whatever he wanted to do to the Doctor, nothing Mickey could do would compare to what the loss of Rose was already doing to him. 

Mickey tore free of Jack. "I'm fine," he assured. Mickey straightened his black leather jacket that had come askew in the struggle. "So why is he just sitting there then?" Mickey asked the others.

"He's been that way since it happened," Sarah Jane offered, her voice soft and sad. "We don't know how to snap him out of it."

"Or even if we can," Donna said. She remembered Rose, sitting in that broken room when she’d thought she could never be with him. The only difference between them was that this seemed worse. A lot worse.

"Alright," Mickey said, drawing in a hasty breath through his nose. "I'll get him going." He made a move towards the Doctor and Jack immediately moved to intercept him. Mickey shook him off. "I'm fine." he said. "Don't worry." 

Reluctantly Jack let him pass. 

Mickey had been jealous of the Doctor ever since Rose left with him. How could he not be? Mickey had loved her too. Loved her still. But how could he ever compete with a man who could show her every star in the universe and name them all? How could anyone compete with that? 

Mickey hunkered down in front of the Doctor. He knew what he had to do. But for a moment he paused. Taking in the Doctor’s vacant gaze and pale skin, he hesitated. The Doctor’s pinky finger kept twitching as though out of his control. 

Like death spasms, Mickey thought. And he found he was worried for all of them. Because who loved like that? What kind of man gave himself over so completely? And what happened to such a man when he broke? 

"You loved her right?" Mickey asked without expecting an answer. "I mean, she definitely loved you. Left me for you after all. So you're what now? Nine-hundred years old? Nineteen, that's how old she was when you took her away. Nineteen. Showed her the stars. And you made her fall in love with you. Made her leave everything she'd known behind to be with you. Do you know, I begged her not to go when she got sick. I said she should be with her family at the end and do you know what she said to me?" 

Mickey stared hard into the Doctor's eyes. Empty like glass. "She said, she had to make sure you were alright. She was dying and she had to make sure that you were not alone."

Mickey laughed without humour. "I told her she was being an idiot. But she didn't listen did she? And now she's dead. Your Rose is dead, Doctor. How does that feel? You feel anything?" Mickey searched the Doctor's eyes, looking for any sign that there was anything alive left in there. Anything capable of still caring. Or had it all died with her? 

"Yeah, guess you don't,” Mickey said. He needed to goad him. He needed to get him angry. “Didn't mean anything to you did it?” Because anger was the only thing strong enough to get him going. It sure was the only thing that kept Mickey on his feet at the moment. 

“Nine-hundred years. She was just the latest in a long line, right? Easily replaceable. You even have quite the fine selection right here," Mickey said, indicating the people around him. "I bet there all in love with you one way or another. All willing to risk their lives for you. What's one loss when you can replace it with four new ones?" 

Mickey turned back to the Doctor. 

He ignored the tears streaming down Sarah Jane's face and the furious look in captain Jack's eyes. He didn’t acknowledge the anger in Donna's or the hurt in Martha's. No one tried to stop him. 

Mickey leaned down close to the Doctor. "Admit it," he said, his tone dropping to a hiss. "Rose Tyler meant nothing to you." 

The lights in the TARDIS flickered. Mickey drew away. But a sudden vice-like grip around his arm stopped him. Mickey turned back. His eyes met burning ones, alive with fire, dark and hot.

"Don't," the Doctor growled at him, his tone of voice lethal in its intensity. "Ever. Say. That. To. Me. Again."

The Doctor let go of Mickey, practically pushing him away. Mickey stumbled back, clutching his arm. The Doctor took a deep breath and rose to his feet smoothly. He walked around the console, everyone scurrying out of his way.

"Doctor?" Donna asked carefully. 

The Doctor pulled the screen over and began turning the dials. He didn't answer. 

Donna walked over to him. "Doctor?" she tried again.

"You have a choice to make," he told them, his voice cool and calm. Scary calm. The kind of calm you find in the eye of a storm. "Either you come with me or I believe you know where the door is."

"Doctor..." Donna said softly, putting her hand over his. 

He moved so quickly she barely had time to grasp it before he'd grabbed her wrist. Donna gasped.

"Don't touch me," he growled. He released her. 

Donna backed away, staring at him. She remembered the Racnoss. Remembered how he'd stood there while they burned. Not knowing when to stop. 

As she stared at him she realised he was far beyond that now. There wasn’t even a concept of mercy in his dark eyes. She was sure he didn’t even care that he might have hurt her. There wasn’t room for such a trivial thing.

The Doctor turned back to the screen. "You have ten seconds," he told them.

"Doctor, maybe we should...-" Jack began. But the Doctor immediately cut him off.

"I'll make it easy for you, Jack," he said. "Either you're an aid or you are a hinderance." He looked over at Jack, his eyes hard. "And trust me, you don't want to be a hinderance."

Jack stared at the Doctor, fighting the sudden instinct to turn and run.

"Five seconds," the Doctor marked.

"I'm with you," Martha said. The Doctor didn't even acknowledge her.

"Me to," Sarah Jane announced, though she lacked the conviction in her voice that Martha'd had.

"What do you say, Jack?" the Doctor asked. Jack gave a nod, a touch of sadness in that one simple gesture. 

Jack knew what it meant. What they were condoning. Genocide. That was what was on the Doctor’s mind. He was going to blow every single Dalek out of the sky. 

Just because they’d been foolish enough to hurt him. Hurt him so much more than he was capable of taking. And now he was going to make sure they all paid for it.

The Doctor glanced back at Donna. "If you want to get off, now is the time," he told her.

"Tell me what you are going to do," Donna said.

"They took her from me," he said simply. "I'm going to destroy every last one of them."

"Murder? Is that what you are saying?"

"This is not a debate," the Doctor said with finality. Donna fell silent. He glanced back at her. She wasn't moving. "Staying then," he concluded. 

He turned a lever and the TARDIS roared to life. The lights flickered on around them, the whole room coming alive with purpose.

"Not gonna ask if I want to come then?" Mickey asked.

"Do I need to?" the Doctor asked back.

"No."

They took off, soaring up into the night sky. Up into space and towards the Dalek ship at the centre. That's were Davros would be. And Davros was going to burn for this.

In the midst of terror and rage and pain, when Annabelle Conn had taken Rose's body away with her, the Doctor thought for a moment that he'd still felt her. Felt her across the bond. Since then he'd tried desperately to feel her again. But there'd been nothing. Just an emptiness that burned through his soul. 

There were long forgotten stories about this. About what happened when the bond was severed. But he hadn't known what to expect. Now all he wanted was an outlet for the fire in his chest, the rage humming through his blood, demanding retribution.

"Won't we get shot, flying in like this?" Sarah Jane asked carefully.

"Good point," the Doctor said, flipping a switch. 

The TARDIS dematerialised in midair and materialised in the underbelly of the Dalek Crucible. The wooshing sound slowly quieted down, letting them all know they had landed.

"Is there a plan to this?" Jack asked. "Or are we simply going in, guns blazing?"

"I don't like guns," the Doctor said, changing a few settings on the TARDIS. "But every man to his own."

He finished whatever he was doing and walked past them, heading for the doors. He paused before them.

"You're all getting a job to do," he said without turning around. "Should you fail it I will not come for you. I can't. This is the point of no return. Is that clear?" 

No one said anything, silently concurring. There was no choice. They’d all seen the Daleks kill neighbours and friends. Death lay in their wake wherever they went. And more was sure to come. 

"Donna, Sarah Jane you get the people trapped on level thirty-four. The TARDIS registered forty human life-forms. Get them out. Martha, Mickey, there is a system wired to channel a massive amount of power. Disrupt it. Whatever you have to do. Jack, you saw the woman, Annabelle Conn. Find her. I'm going after Davros."

The Doctor opened the doors and stepped outside. Jack turned back to the rest of them.

"The TARDIS is still safe. You can still stay behind," he told them. 

Sarah Jane shook her head sadly. "We're not leaving him alone," she said. "How can we?" 

They all nodded in agreement. Their minds were made up. They were with the Doctor until the end.

Everyone followed Jack outside.

"Well, good luck," Mickey said.

"Yeah, we'll need it," Donna muttered as she looked around. 

The walls bore the colour of rust, the floors were of harsh and unpolished metal. It was a gloomy, foreboding place. Built for expedience and effectiveness. Much like the Daleks themselves. 

Everyone gave each other a look. It didn't say; see you soon or even good luck. It said good bye. None of them expected to be coming back. 

The Doctor strode away from them, having every faith that they would complete the tasks he’d set before them. Had his mind not been consumed with vengeance he would have been grateful they were so ready to follow him. 

Grateful for their courage and unflinching loyalty. But there was no room for something as simple as gratitude. There was only pain and rage. And for that he was thankful. 

After all it was the only thing keeping him on his feet. If he allowed himself to feel, even for a moment the loss of her. It would send him to his knees and he would not be getting back up again.

Then he heard it. The unmistakable sound of approaching Daleks. The Doctor looked around quickly. He spotted a nook in the wall and threw himself in. Just as two Daleks came around the corner. He pressed himself against the wall, watching as they passed him. 

The mere sight of them made his blood boil. He had to fight the urge to tear them to pieces with his bare hands. 

Dalekanium, he had to remind himself. Their outer-shells were made of Dalekanium. Nearly indestructible.

The Doctor squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't open them until he was sure they'd passed. One quick glance about and then he stepped out. Calmly he continued on the way he’d been heading. 

The Doctor had infiltrated enough Dalek ships to understand their basic construction. He knew where he was most likely to find Davros. 

It reminded him of being back in the war. He had been a different man then. A man forged by strife and loss. He had become what he needed to be. Done what needed to be done. It had marked him in the end. Left him tattered and worn. 

Rose had put him back together. But she was gone now. All that was left was an emptiness in the back of his mind. Where she’d used to be. Where the bond had once tied them together. It was hollow now. Hollow and dark.

That emptiness is what would break him in the end. He knew that. But not before he had his vengeance. 

Only a few more times did he have to hide from Daleks. He was being cleared a path. Davros was expecting him. 

Creeping along down the hallways the sound of voices reached him. With care he made his way closer, following them like a deathly siren call. 

He stopped as he began to recognise them.

"You were right," Annabelle Conn was saying. "It crippled him." 

The sound of that woman's voice caused the Doctor's hands to clasp into fists and his blood to boil. But something else followed it. Something that at times haunted his nightmares. Davros’s unmistakable laugh. Nothing but a depraved mechanical cackle.

"I wish I could have been there," Davros said, his voice filled with glee.

"I need to run a few test before...-"

"Yes, yes run all the tests you want," Davros waved her away.

"I still wonder if shooting her right in front of him was the right thing to do," Annabelle remarked. "You didn't see him."

"I need him broken," Davros explained. "Only then can his complete destruction be assured."

So everything was Davros’s doing. He’d given the order. He’d made the choice. And he’d done it to hurt the Doctor. Destroy him. Mickey had been right. Rose was dead because of him. It was his fault.

The Doctor, felt rage and guilt pulsing through his veins. His fault. It was all his fault.

The Doctor walked out from his hiding place. He saw Davros and hate surged up inside him. 

Davros looked much as he had the last time the Doctor had seen him. Long having lost the use of his legs he was stuck in his chariot. That thing that looked like the base of a Dalek.  
That thing that not only enabled him to move around but kept him alive. Long after he should have been dead. 

Davros smiled as he saw the Doctor. The grin twisted his face. It was wrinkled and marred, twisted and worn. By now the Doctor couldn’t guess at his age but it all showed. Like every year had been brutally carved into his skin. 

"Doctor," Davros exclaimed in delight. 

Annabelle Conn twirled around. Colour drained from her face at the sight of him. Davros greeted him with delight. Annabelle with fear. She took a couple of steps back. The Doctor turned his eyes on Davros. 

Holding out his arms, the Doctor said, “You wanted me, and here I am.” There was a dare to his tone.

"Yes, you are," Davros said. 

His dark, mechanical voice made the Doctor's skin crawl.

"Maybe I should go..." Annabelle suggested, taking another couple of steps back.

"No, stay," the Doctor told her, a horrible smile twisting his face. "Don't you want to see how this turns out? Now that you’ve murdered the girl I love?”

Annabelle took another step back. With every fibre of her being she believed in what Davros was doing. She followed him blindly. Willingly. There was only one thing she’d never understood. His obsession with the Doctor. 

She couldn’t see how facing the fury of a Time Lord could be worth it. The Daleks and the Doctor were old enemies and the last time the Daleks had not fared so well. 

"I need to..." Annabelle began.

"Yes, yes," Davros interrupted her. "Go. Finish your work."

Annabelle turned around and hurried out of the room. She made her way through the halls of the Dalek Crucible. The big flagship. 

Few Daleks patrolled the hallways. They were arrogant in their belief of their own superiority. 

Annabelle turned down another hallway, the rust coloured walls and dull metal floor not quite to her liking. She would have preferred it cleaner.There was a reason the labs at Torchwood had all been white and it wasn't just aesthetics.

Annabelle made her way down another corridor. The further away from the Doctor she got the better she felt. She soon regained mastery of her fear. It had been foolish to let him scare her like that. He was one man surrounded by millions of Daleks. No matter how furious he was, the Doctor was a dead man. She turned a corner and walked up to two Daleks standing by a door.

"Open it," she ordered them, her voice steady and controlled. 

The two Daleks glanced at each other before obeying. 

Annabelle knew they didn’t like it. Taking orders from a human. It was Davros word alone that made them do so. 

One of the Daleks finally used its manipulator arm to operate the control pad for the door. 

Annabelle had studied the Daleks long before she met them. Long before Davros. In the hidden rooms in the Torchwood basement, she’d learned their secrets. 

She understood the sophistication of their construction. The genius of their creation. And she understood their lethality. They had been created for one reason, to eradicate everything that was not Dalek. 

The door slid opened and Annabelle stepped inside.  
It closed behind her as she made her way over to a desk. 

She pressed a couple of buttons on the keyboard for the computer. Three separate screens flickered on in front of her. Pressing another combination of buttons a room adjacent to the one she was in lit up. 

It was separated by a glass wall. Annabelle walked over to it, her heals striking against the rough metal floor.

Clasping her hands behind her back she stared into the empty room. Empty but for one thing. 

A body lay on the floor, her blonde hair spread out about her like a half moon. 

A blue light webbed along the walls, floor and ceiling. A containment field. Designed especially to keep her locked away from the rest of the world. Locked away from him.

The memory of the pain in the Doctor’s eyes was burned into Annabelle’s memory. She’d never seen its like before. 

Davros was so certain the girl was the key to breaking the Time lord and until that moment Annabelle had her doubts. She didn’t anymore. The minute the Dalek had shot her everything had shattered behind the Doctor’s eyes. 

That raw and naked sorrow wasn’t the kind you bore but the kind that broke you. 

Annabelle pressed a finger to the glass and it lit up with information about the body inside the room. She pressed a lit round shape marked, speaker.

"Agent Tyler," she said, hearing her own voice echo into the room. There was no movement from inside. "Rose Tyler, time to wake up."

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rose lives! Yay. So no worries yet. But what did you think of Mickey’s handling of the situation? Blunt but effective? Or cruel, perhaps? Just really curious to hear your thoughts :)


	20. Right hand of the devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even though Rose is still alive she is not safe. No one is safe, because Rose and the Doctor is right where Davros wants them.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Rose gradually got pulled back to consciousness. She took an experimental breath. That strange pressure over her chest was back. Pushing down hard enough that it hurt, making it difficult to breath. And not only that, she felt strange. Like something was missing. Some essential part. But she couldn’t quite put her finger on what. 

She opened her eyes, trying to shake the feeling. Looking around at the empty room with its dull brown walls and metal floor she found she was unable to. It made her feel strange, ill. 

"Over here Agent Tyler." 

There was no way Rose wouldn't recognise that voice by now. The sound of it was like chalk against a blackboard.

"Annabelle Conn," Rose said as she pushed herself up. Her head spun, making her clasp it in a hopeless attempt to stop the spinning. "Didn't you kill me?"

"One of the Daleks shot you, yes," Annabelle concurred. "But their weapons can do more than kill. All it did was knock you out. And before you ask, your Doctor is alive and yes, he does think you're dead."

"You let him think you killed me?" Rose asked, struggling to sit up.

"You should have seen him," Annabelle Conn said. "Screaming your name as though he was going to tear down the sky to get you back." 

Rose looked over at Annabelle. She was still in her white pencil skirt and white silk blouse. The collar of the blouse was high, touching the ends of her black hair. She was like a snowflake amongst all that harsh metal and rust.

"Did he scare you?" Rose asked as she looked at Annabelle. 

Annabelle tilted her head. "He gave me second thoughts," she allowed.

“Second thoughts about what exactly?” 

“Davros’s obsession with him.” Annabelle rolled her eyes. “We are trying to achieve something great. But lately all he’s been doing is going on and on about the Doctor. “ 

“What does Davros want with him?” Rose asked, fear for him making her swallow hard. 

Rose knew very little about Davros. But she knew enough to know that nothing he wanted could ever be good. 

Annabelle’s lips curled in a wicked smile. Filled with dark glee. “Why, to destroy him of course. Utterly and completely.” 

“Then why didn’t you just kill us?” Rose asked.

“Killing someone is easy, Agent Tyler. Destroying everything they think they are is a tad bit harder. And well, Davros wants the Doctor destroyed. Not merely dead.” 

Those words sent chills down Rose’s spine. Horrible ones that left her feeling cold all over. But if Annabelle felt chatty Rose might as well try and gather as much information as she could. 

"So where are we then?" Rose asked, as she struggled up into a sitting position. 

"They call it the Crucible," Annabelle explained. She walked along the glass separating them. Large enough to cover the entire wall. "It is the Dalek flagship. It is were everything will come together."

"That doesn’t sound good."

"It better,” Annabelle smiled. “This is the culmination of years of manipulation and planning. You didn’t think saving my life was the only purpose of the Basement, did you?"

"Seemed like a waste of money."

"It was you." 

Annabelle stopped and smiled at Rose from the other side of the glass.

"Me? Why me?"

"The Basement branch of Torchwood have been trying to create you for years, Agent Tyler. Or something like you."

"Is that why you experimented on all those creatures?" Rose asked, remembering the cruelty she had witnessed in the dark, hidden parts of Torchwood. 

Annabelle nodded. "For years we tried and failed. But Davros has... What shall we say? Devine assistance."

“Of course he does.” 

Rose knew Annabelle was mad but she couldn’t possibly believe Davros was some form of god?

“A prophet,” Annabelle explained. “Brought to him through time.” Annabelle retraced her footsteps, her hands clasped behind her back. "You see, to realise Davros’s vision we needed, energy from the time vortex. But it’s vile stuff. You can’t control it. The only beings in the history of the universe who ever came close were-”

“Time Lords,” Rose realised. 

“Precisely,” Annabelle smiled. “But the Time Lords were dead and gone. All except one that is. One who just so happened to be vulnerable.”

Rose’s hands clenched into fists at that. “The Doctor is not weak,” Rose told Annabelle. “He is the strongest person you’ll ever know. Whatever you’re doing he’ll never let you get away with-“

“Weak?” Annabelle interrupted. “I never said he was weak, Agent Tyler. But he is the last of his kind and prophecy says he will burn down the world to save the one he loves. That, is what makes him vulnerable. Exploitable.” 

Annabelle smiled at Rose and Rose felt sick. "Do you begin to see where this is going?" Annabelle said. "How this is all coming together?"

"What makes you think it’s me?" Rose asked. “He’s lived a long time and he’ll live a lot longer.”

"Two words," Annabelle said. She stopped and looked intently at Rose. "Bad Wolf." 

Rose drew back in surprise. 

"The Bad Wolf is as entwined with the last Time Lord as the Daleks are."Annabelle continued her slow walk back and forth along the glass. "After all not even universes could keep you two apart. Nor could time separate him from the Daleks in the end.” 

“And the dimension jumps that nearly killed me?” Rose asked as she gave Annabelle a glare. 

"As I understand it you needed to be dying for him to do what he did? Tampering with the mechanism wasn’t difficult. Every failed attempt was another thread in the fabric. Another piece to the puzzle. To get you two here. "

Rose thought of the vague, misty memories she had from the dream she'd shared with the Doctor. Of that space between time. How she'd burned with enough power surging through her human body to destroy worlds. Annabelle was right. The Doctor would never have risked it if it wasn't the very last option.

"I was still doubtful," Annabelle was saying. "It wasn't until I watched the footage of you murdering my dear sister that I really knew. You even confirmed it. Naming yourself Bad Wolf. Davros had been right all along. We had struggled for years to create something capable of holding such power and now Davros had gotten the last of the Time Lords to do it for us. Just as it was foretold."

Rose clasped her head. This was giving her a headache. It seemed everything from the very moment she'd met the Doctor had all somehow been planned.

"Why are you even telling me this?" Rose wondered. “Why waste the time?”

"Because I want you to understand," Annabelle explained. "I want you to see the inevitability of what is to come and I want you to know that there is nothing you could have done to stop it. If I was being dramatic I would say it is your destiny. Yours and the Doctor's."

"Destiny is rubbish," Rose said. "There is no such thing." 

But even Rose could hear the doubt in her voice. Because even if Davros and Annabelle had expertly manipulated the Doctor and Rose in order to get them to this moment. They could never have made Rose fall in love with him. They couldn’t have known she would look into the heart of the TARDIS and become the Bad Wolf to save him. This thing of time. Neither could they have made the Doctor risk it all to save her. 

Yet they had and here they were. 

"How far back?" Rose asked. She hated feeling powerless. A puppet on a string.

"What do you mean?"

"How far back were you and Davros manipulating events?" Rose ground out between her teeth. For how long had she been a pawn in their game?

"You'll have to ask, Davros," Annabelle replied. "Not even I understand the whole scope of this. I sabotaged the the Dimension canon to make you sick. You met me on Poosh, I needed the pure version of the crystal that their towers are made of."

"Why?" Rose asked.

"See the blue light?" 

Rose looked around. Blue strings of light ran along the walls. She hadn’t noticed it before. 

"It's a containment field especially for you.The one thing that could completely isolate you from the rest of the world. It's powered in part by that crystal."

A containment field. Locking her away. 

There was a part in Rose's mind, where the bond was. Where, if she let herself, she could always feel the Doctor. Like he was a part of her. She realised that was the space that was empty. That's why she felt as though something was missing. The realisation made the pressure over her chest tighten. 

She struggled for a moment, the power surging up inside her. It tuned with her rush of fear. She clasped her hands into fists and forced herself to keep control. 

He was alive. The Doctor was fine. Annabelle had said so. There was no reason for her to lie. He was fine. There was no need for her to lose control. 

"Anything else you want to take credit for?" Rose ground out, trying to distract herself. 

"Oh, I did blow up that pitiful Shadow Proclamation.” Annabelle smiled at the thought. “Such pretty fireworks it made.” 

"That was you?" Rose asked in disbelief. She managed a few calming breaths.

"Of course," Annabelle replied simply. "We couldn't let them lock you up there. We needed you here."

"This is crazy," Rose muttered.

"Love and hate often drives us mad," Annabelle pointed out. "Which I guess you know all to well." She smiled knowingly at Rose. It gave Rose the sudden urge to punch her in the face.

"You know nothing about it,” she said.

"I know enough to know he'll do it," Annabelle said. "The Doctor will let the world burn if it means saving you."

"You know, your sister tortured me," Rose said. "And she had no qualms about it. A part of her even enjoyed it, I think. And yet she was more human than you."

"I beg your pardon?" Annabelle asked, sounding truly affronted.

"Your sister loved you, Annabelle. Everything she did she did to save you. But you didn’t care about her beyond her ability to keep you alive. So this is not about revenge. Why do you care that I and the Doctor suffer?"

"I don't," Annabelle immediately replied. "I simply believe in what Davros is doing. The progress we can achieve... -"

"What progress?" Rose interrupted.

"Just imagine it, Agent Tyler. The scientific advances, the technological breakthroughs. Davros is a genius. We can accomplish so much. What he's built will pave way for a new era. "

"Do you even hear yourself?" Rose asked. "They're Daleks! They don't care about advances!"

"Davros does. He’s promised me a brave new world. A world without pain. Without death."

Annabelle smiled. By the look on her face Rose knew there was no point in arguing with her. Annabelle Conn believed in her words to the very core. No matter how mad they were. Nothing Rose could say would change her mind.

"So Davros wants to make the Doctor suffer while you and him create some better world. But what about me? What do I have to do with any of this?” Rose asked. 

"You are the key," Annabelle explained. "You are bursting with what is essentially untempered vortex energy."

Annabelle hit the glass with the tips of her fingers and new calculations appeared before her. 

“Would you look at that,” Annabelle said. “Not even Dalek technology can properly read the level of power surging through your blood. Most likely there is only one civilisation that can interpret the data.” She glanced from the readings to Rose. “And it is long since gone,” she said. 

She returned her attention to the glass. "You should be dead," Annabelle said. Wonder filled her face. She was fascinated. As fascinated as her sister had been. "I don't understand how you're not dead." She punched in a number of commands.

Wires suddenly came out of hatches in the floor. Rose scrambled away. Grapple hooks were attached at the ends. They snapped at her. Rose pushed herself backwards. They kept coming. Like snakes across the floor. 

They lashed out. Too fast for her to avoid. Harshly they wrapped around Rose’s wrists. The metal, hard and crude tightened until Rose screamed. Desperately she tried to tear free. But all she did was scrape her wrists raw.

The wires snapped taut, yanking Rose’s arms to the side, keeping her on her knees. 

"I really do need you to stay still now," Annabelle said. 

Rose glared at her. 

"Interesting," Annabelle mumbled as she stared at the information pouring in, in front of her. "Your cells seem to be bonding with it. But how..." She punched in a couple of new commands, receiving a more detailed view of Rose's DNA. 

"Impossible," she breathed.

"What...what is impossible?" Rose managed to get out. The pain in her arms and wrists nearly made it impossible but she had to know. She probably wanted to understand what the Doctor had done to her just as much as Annabelle Conn.

"Your DNA..." Annabelle began. "...it’s no longer human. Not completely." She squinted at the readouts as though that would somehow make them more comprehensible to her.  
"Your DNA have bonded perfectly with the foreign elements," Annabelle was saying. "How is that possible? How did he do this?"

"It..." Rose began, struggling to talk. "It's a Time Lord thing, you know." she said.

"Time...?" Annabelle fell silent as she stared at her readings. "I thought he... I thought it was chemistry," she mumbled. "Or I thought he'd used a machine, or gene-manipulation to alter your cellular structure. But this... this is..."

"This is, what?" Rose ground out. Her wrists felt as though they were about to be torn off.

"Biology," Annabelle said in awe. "And not the kind you create in a lab."

"Speak english," Rose growled. 

Annabelle tore her gaze away from the numbers on the glass and looked at Rose.

"He gave you a piece of his soul," she said.

Rose blinked a couple of times as she stared at Annabelle. 

"I mean..." Annabelle began. "The science of it is here as far as these computers can understand it. He didn't just link you together. He bonded with you on a cellular level. There have long been theories about the soul, that the mechanics, what makes us unique, what survives our death, is locked within our DNA." Annabelle turned to look at Rose. 

Rose could see the awe in her face. The amazement, the wonder. 

"What I don't understand is how you can sustain it. The charge is incalculably higher than that of normal human cells. You are not compatible. It should have killed you. It should be killing you right now."

"Well, it didn't," Rose ground out. 

Annabelle took a step closer to the glass "How did he do it?" she asked with a sense of urgency. "It's some part of a Time Lord's physiology. How did he do it?" Rose gave Annabelle a crocked grin but said nothing. "I could hurt you from out here if I wanted to," Annabelle warned.

"So, do it then," Rose said. "Cus I have nothing to say to you."

Annabelle growled with frustration and turned back to her numbers. She put in new calculations, forced the computer to extract more data form Rose.

"There is an answer here," she muttered.

Annabelle kept her eyes on the glass. She struggled to figure out just how the Doctor had managed it. How he had bound himself so completely to Rose. How he had imbued her with enough errant power to destroy galaxies. How he had saved her life. 

Slowly and surely a picture began to form. If this was part of Time Lord physiology than this, whatever it was he'd done, had not gone as it should have. It was supposed to be done with another Time Lord. Not a human.

"You were together," she realised, as she stared at the readings. "Weren't you?" 

Rose ground her teeth together, saying nothing. She was not about to discuss this with Annabelle Conn. 

"I mean, I would need to study a Time Lord to verify the mechanics of it. But that is how he did it isn't it?" 

Rose glared at Annabelle. Rose's hair was falling into her eyes and sweat was running down her face.

"I told your sister he would never do it again," Rose said. "I wasn't lying." 

Annabelle stared at Rose, terrified comprehension filling her face. Then she shook her head, vigorously.

"No, I can still use this information to save myself. I can figure it out. I can...-"

"And if you did how are you ever going to sustain it?" Rose interrupted with a snarl. "You said it yourself. It should have killed me. So why do you think I'm still alive?" 

Rose glared at Annabelle, feeling a sadistic sense of pleasure at knowing her plan was coming down before her eyes.

The Doctor had thought that Rose had been able to hold it together because she alone was strong. The strongest person he'd ever known, he'd said. 

But Rose suspected that the reason why all those worlds hadn't burned, why Rose hadn't turned to ashes. It wasn't only because she was strong. It was because they were strong together.

The surprising sound of the door opening made Annabelle twirl around. A man with a huge gun stumbled in, in a cloud of dust and smoke.

"Aha!" he called. "Death to all pepper-shakers!" 

Annabelle only froze for a moment before she threw herself towards her desk where she kept her gun. But the man immediately raised his rather impressive weapon. 

"Naw, naw, naw," he warned. Annabelle froze. "Annabelle Conn, I've been looking for you," the man said, smiling as blood dripped down his chin. 

Annabelle's gaze flickered down. She saw blood soaking his shirt. He was injured. Mortally so. All she had to do was wait until he bleed out. Which would be rather soon, judging by the state of him. 

"Oh, are you looking at this?" the man asked, indicating his blood-soaked shirt. "This is nothing. Don't worry about it." His lips twisted in wry amusement. "Your Dalek boys are no match for the great Captain Jack Harkness!" he declared and laughed.

The laughter died as quickly as it had appeared, his eyes growing dark.

"You killed Rose Tyler," he said. 

Annabelle immediately took a step to the side, revealing the room behind the glass and the girl in it.

"She's not dead," Annabelle said. "Yet." 

Jack's gaze snapped from her to the girl beyond the glass-wall. Rose gave him a weak smile as their eyes met. She sat strapped down to the floor. Pain streaking her face with sweat and tears. 

Jack's eyes grew hard as he turned back to Annabelle Conn. Annabelle immediately held up her hand to the glass, a section of it still alight with numbers and calculations. Her finger hovered inches away. 

"One move and I'll kill her," Annabelle warned. 

Jack stayed very, very still. "I saw her get exterminated," Jack pointed out.

"You saw her get knocked out," Annabelle countered.

"I see," Jack announced, taking a couple of leisurely steps inside the room. "If you didn't kill her then I doubt you'd kill her now," he said.

"Actually I just found out she's of no use to me," Annabelle explained, her voice dripping with bitterness.

"Davros still...!" Rose called out before Annabelle pressed an area on the glass and killed the speaker.

"So, the big evil mastermind still needs her for something then," Jack concluded, moving casually around the desk.

"I'm warning you," Annabelle tried, but it was clear Jack wasn't falling for it.

"Let's just save us all a bunch of trouble," Jack suggested.  
"Let her go." 

Annabelle shook her head. 

Jack raised his gun. "Let her go," he ordered.

He painted quite the picture. Standing there half dead, battered and bleeding. But even though Annabelle knew he meant business. Knew that he could decide to shoot her any second and sure that this was not a man that missed. She was still not as scared as she had been when facing a completely unarmed but furious Time Lord. 

All this man could do was kill her but the look she'd seen in the Doctor's eyes had told her that he could do far worse than that.

"You're gonna have to shoot me," Annabelle told Jack.

Jack shook his shoulders once. "Fine," he said and shot her.

The blast from the gun actually knocked Annabelle back. She took a stumbling step, feeling the heel of her shoe snap under her foot. She fell ungracefully to the floor. The impact sent a shockwave of pain through her. She absentmindedly knew that was good. Pain meant she wasn't dead. 

She watched as through a haze while Captain Jack Harkness rushed over to the glass. He began frantically scanning the information, His eyes running back and forth. 

Annabelle moaned in pain. She was no stranger to it. All the tests and operations she'd suffered through the years. Getting shot was nothing.

Jack pressed a couple of areas on the glass and drew a gauge down to zero. He watched as Rose was released, the grapple hooks releasing her. She caught herself on all fours, breathing heavily. Jack pressed the symbol for the speaker.

"Rose?" he asked, a desperate disbelief in his voice.

"Feels good to hear your voice, captain," Rose breathed. A smile lit Jack's face. "Mind getting me out of here?" she asked.

"Yes, mam!" Jack announced, grinning like an idiot.

Rose struggled to breathe, fought to keep her eyes opened. She felt drained. Exhausted. But she had to get up. She got to her feet by sheer force of will. 

She stumbled over to the glass wall. She caught herself against it, using it to stay upright. 

She met Jack's eyes from the other side. She said nothing, only gave him a weak smile. He smiled back at her, his face alight with gratitude. 

He returned to trying to figure out how the get her out.

"You don't look so good," he remarked as he worked. Rose leaned her head against the glass.

"I think I may need a doctor," she said.

"You’re hilarious," Jack said with sarcasm. 

He winked at her and she smiled. But he quickly grew more somber at the rather pitiful state she was in. 

"Donna mentioned something about a link between you and the Doctor," he said. "That true?" 

Rose nodded yes. "This blue light stuff, is some kind of containment field she told me," Rose explained, indicating Annabelle on the floor. "Cuts me off from him. I think it might be making me sick. He said something about that. I don't know." Rose shook her head. "I just know I need him."

"He needs you too," Jack said, tearing his eyes away from the lit part of the glass. "He's mad, Rose," Jack said sadly. "Mad with grief. He'll destroy everything in his way." 

Rose's gaze fell to the floor. "Just get me out of here, Jack," she said quietly.

The gun blast seemed to come out of nowhere. Suddenly Jack's eyes widened in surprise. 

Rose straightened and looked at him. He glanced down at his chest. Rose followed his gaze. More blood bloomed there. He looked back up at Rose in disbelief. 

No, Rose mouthed silently. He opened his mouth to say something but only blood poured over his lips. He coughed and blood burst from his lungs, hitting the glass right in front of Rose.

"No! Jack!" He crumbled before her. "Jack!" she screamed, following him down as he fell to the floor. "Jack!"

Rose looked up from his body on the floor to find Annabelle Conn standing behind him. Her gun in her hands. Rose pounded on the glass.

"You murderous piece of crap!" she screamed. "I'm gonna kill you! Do you hear me?!"

"That might be redundant," Annabelle pointed out, indicating herself. 

Her white outfit was ruined. Stained red with her blood. But Rose could tell that Jack had aimed for her shoulder. He had attempted to put her out of commission but not kill her. Because killing people was not what they did. 

Annabelle stumbled and caught herself against her desk. "Well," she said. "No way out for you now," Annabelle told her. "See you on the other side, Agent Tyler." She gave Rose a smile before she fell.

Rose pounded in desperation on the glass. But it wasn’t just the glass that was holding her back. That blue light was like an impenetrable barrier. She could feel it push against her, right beneath her skin.

"Let me out!" she screamed. "Let me out!" 

Rose felt her knees folding under her. She sank down to the floor. Tears fell down her cheeks as she stared at Jack's lifeless body. She could feel the energy surging inside her, itching to be set free. 

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to hold it back. Her head was pounding, images flashing by behind her eyes. 

No, she thought desperately. Nothing she saw made sense. Past, present and future all jumbled up, too much for her human mind to take.

She saw Daleks disintegrating into dust. She saw Jack getting shot again and again. Different weapons, different times. She saw the Doctor, standing and watching as Davros screamed in fire. Then instead she felt the Doctor's lips against her forehead and heard him whispering goodbye. She felt her own heart breaking as he turned away from her. 

Then she saw herself, standing in front of Davros. Then light and fire and pain. Rose clutched her head desperately. Old moments, new ones and ones that would never be. And they all burned.

"Uh, I hate getting shot." Rose thought she heard Jack's voice through the pain pounding through her skull. But Jack was dead. "Hey Rose? You okay in there?"

Rose opened her eyes and there he was, sitting on the other side of the glass.

"You're alive," Rose breathed in disbelief, staring at her old friend. Not quite believing what she was seeing. "But you were dead."

"And you're kind of glowing," Jack pointed out, sounding a tad alarmed. 

Rose looked down at her hands. She was. "It's ok." 

Rose struggled, forcing the energy back, pushing the images away by sheer force of will. But it was difficult. She needed the Doctor. The thought of him made her chest ache. 

"Doctor," Rose managed to get out.

"He went after Davros," Jack explained. 

Rose shook her head. "No, he mustn't." she said with conviction. "Davros will... he'll hurt him... You have to get him off this ship, Jack."

Jack pulled himself back on his feet. "I'm just gonna get you out first," he said. “Then we’ll go get him.” 

“But if you can’t get me out. You have to promise me... Please, Jack.”

“Can you imagine what the Doctor would do to me if I left you here?” 

“So don’t tell him.” 

Jack continued pressing buttons, struggling to find the right controls to get her out. 

“I’m scared,” Rose said. 

“Don’t worry,” Jack assured. 

“No,” Rose said. “I’m scared it’s all gonna fall apart. All of it.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·


	21. Destroyer of worlds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose suffers a loss she might not be able to bear and the Doctor is faced with the truth of who he is.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

"You got here quicker than I'd imagined," Davros said with glee. "How you must have loved her. And here I thought your pompous race lost that ability long ago. "

"You're one to talk," the Doctor pointed out darkly. 

Davros smiled. "We are perhaps more similar than you might think, Doctor."

"We are nothing alike.”

"No, you're right," Davros readily agreed. "You destroyed your race and I raised mine from the ashes."

"I'll destroy you too," the Doctor promised.

"No longer in the business of saving people?"

"You don't deserve to be saved."

They were on the bridge. Davros could control nearly everything from there. Which meant the Doctor could too. If he could get at the controls. A thousand different scenarios and a thousand different possibilities got examined and discarded inside his mind as his gaze travelled over the room. There were Daleks at the edges, all with their exterminator guns following every move the Doctor made.

"And who are you to decide that then, Doctor?" 

The Doctor glanced over at Davros. He had to fight the fire burning in his chest. The fire that called for retribution. 

"God?" Davros mocked.

"Isn't that what you called yourself?" the Doctor asked back.

"I am the creator of life. Of all Daleks," Davros said and smiled. "What have you created, Doctor?" 

There was a knowing sort of glint in Davros's eyes that the Doctor really didn't care for. He knew something the Doctor didn't. Something that gave Davros an unnerving sense of satisfaction.

"We could have ended it," the Doctor said. "The Time War. It could have ended with us. Why?"

"Why did I kill her?" Davros asked. "Wouldn't you rather know why, all of this?" Davros indicated the space around them. "Don't you want to know what I've built?"

"I don't care," the Doctor growled. "I want to know why she had to die."

"Oh, he was right about you, Doctor," Davros laughed. 

The Doctor narrowed his eyes at Davros. "What? Who was?"

A voice dripping with madness rose from the shadows.  
"The Time Lord will come, he'll watch her die." The Doctor twirled around. "The Time War ends." 

There in a dark corner of the room was a Dalek. The top and middle parts of its armour looked like it had been ripped apart, revealing the true Dalek inside. 

It was difficult to think they'd once been humanoid. Now they were nothing but a mass of tentacles, the one eye in the middle of their squid-like body the only remnant of what they'd once been. 

The Doctor always felt a sense of revulsion at the sight of them, their forms so perverted and distorted. They were the creations of a once brilliant mind gone mad. 

"Soon. Soon the stars shall die."

"Dalek Caan," Davros declared with pride. 

Dalek Caan laughed, a mad, twisted sound.

"Had a feeling I might be seeing you again," the Doctor said.

"Doctor," it laughed.

"Dalek Caan is the reason I'm alive," Davros said.

"I fleew into the Time War," Dalek Caan cackled. "I saw all of time and matter."

"He knows what is waiting for you, Doctor," Davros said.

"Pain," Dalek Caan laughed. "Pain for the last of the Time Lords, the destroyer of worlds." 

The Doctor turned back to Davros. "Is that why you killed her!?" he screamed. "Because an insane Dalek told you!?"

"I would kill her, Doctor, for you to see you as you are. The man who murdered millions. The man behind your mask of mercy." 

The Doctor froze. He stared at Davros. "What do you mean, would? You did, you did kill her. You shot her! Shot her dead right in front of me!" The Doctor's hands balled into fists.

"Did I?" Davros said with a twisted smile while Dalek Caan's manic laughter echoed in the background.

"I'm warning you, Davros." The Doctor’s tone of voice was deadly. "Don't play games with me. Not where she's concerned. You won't like it."

"The hour is at hand," Dalek Caan informed them. "The time is come."

Davros pressed a few buttons on the control-pad on his chariot and a holographic screen flickered to life above them. The picture went out and came back again.

"Annabelle?" Davros asked. "Is everything ready?" 

At first there was no reply. Then a voice, hard and angry but beyond beautiful echoed through the room.

"Annabelle Conn 's dead, you twat."

The picture flickered again and a blond girl appeared on the screen. The Doctor stared as Rose Tyler rose like a phoenix from the ashes of his own grief. It was impossible. He'd watched her get hit. He'd watched her fall. 

Immediately he tried to reach her through the bond, calling out with his mind, desperately searching for hers. But there was nothing. It was just as silent and empty as before. He stared at the picture of Rose and couldn't understand how she could be there. Was it a trick? Another way for Davros to hurt him?

"What is this!?" the Doctor barked at Davros.

"Doctor?" came Rose's voice, the pitch and tone exactly as he remembered. He would always remember. Nothing could ever scrub her from his mind. No amount of time or regenerations. She was woven into the very fabric of his being. "Doctor, is that you?"

"Rose..." Her name fell of his lips, nothing more than a whispered plea. A plea for it to somehow be real.

"Doctor!" Her tone rose in anticipation, elation.

"Davros," the Doctor growled. "If this is a trick, I swear on all the souls who perished at Arcadia that I'll tear you apart."

"It's not a trick Doctor." It was Jack's voice. "She's alive. Really alive." 

The Doctor shook his head. "No," he said. "No, she's gone. Rose is dead. It can't be her." He was so scared of hoping only to have it ripped away from him again. He'd lost her too many times.

"Doctor...," she said softly. He refused to even look at the image of her. He knew Davros was smiling, enjoying every moment he suffered. "The first word you ever said to me," she said and he looked up in despite of himself. A careful half-smile was playing about her lips. Beautiful, beautiful Rose Tyler. Run, she mouthed silently.

The Doctor took a careful step forwards, coming in to her view. Her smile widened and her eyes lit up. So alive. 

"What happened to Annabelle Conn?" Davros, asked, interrupting them. 

The camera panned and Jack came into view. He looked terrible. Blood soaked his shirt and judging by the amount he must have died for a bit.

"I shot her," Jack told them. "She recommended it." 

The camera panned back to Rose. "Doctor," she said urgently. "You have to go. Get off this ship."

'Where are you?" the Doctor asked.

"Don't worry about me, just go."

"Go? Rose Tyler...-"

"Don't argue!" she interrupted him. 

Davros laughed. "He won't leave Miss Tyler," he told her. "Will you, Doctor?" Davros turned to the Doctor, his smile twisting his deeply lined face. 

The Doctor ground his teeth together. No of course he wouldn't leave, not without Rose. Not a chance.

"I'm coming to get you," he told Rose without preamble. 

Dalek Caan's manic laughter filled the room and Davros pressed a few buttons on his chariot. Rose screamed out. 

The Doctor immediately stopped and turned back to the screen. Something had grabbed a hold of her. Something metal around her wrists that forced her down to her knees.

"No!" the Doctor screamed. 

He stared in horror as something drilled it's way into the base of her skull. her face twisted in agony. Normally he would have felt it. He would have felt her pain but now he felt nothing. He only saw her suffer and that was somehow worse. 

"Rose!"

He turned to Davros. "Release her!" he demanded.

"This is what she was created for," Davros said. "A spark to ignite the end." He pressed another button. 

The Doctor lunged himself at Davros, thinking to keep his promise and tear him apart. But before he reached him he felt a singe across his arm and another across his leg. He went down on one knee. 

He glared up at the Daleks that had shot at him. To hinder and wound not to kill. Not yet. Davros wanted to toy with him more. The thought made the Doctor growl in anger. 

He looked up at the screen. Rose was on her knees, her breathing laboured, sweat trickling down her forehead. He could see her there and yet he couldn't quite allow himself to believe it was her. 

He had never known pain like having her ripped away from him. It had broken his spirit and it had warped his mind into something unrecognisable. It had made him mad and he could still feel the ache of it. Like a wound that would never heal.

But if Rose was alive. Than it was nothing. Nothing compared to what would happen if she actually died.

"Stop!" he heard Jack scream. "You're killing her!"

"Not killing her, no," Davros refuted. "Waking her up." 

The Doctor struggled back up on his feet. the Dalek guns around the room following him.

"No!" Davros suddenly exclaimed. "What is this!?" He turned around, driving his chair to a set of controls on a dome structure. He called a Dalek forth. "Find out what's wrong!" he barked at it. 

The Doctor looked at the screen. Rose was still on her knees, panting but no longer screaming. Something had gone wrong. The Dalek moved over to Davros. It used its manipulator arm to access the controls.

"POWER IS CUT O-FF," the Dalek explained.

"How?!" Davros barked. "Give me a visual!" Another smaller, holographic image appeared above the controls. It showed an engine room. "Pan! Pan!" Davros insisted. The camera turned, showing more of the room.

The Doctor's eyes grew round in surprise as he saw Mickey and Martha hunkered down on the floor, cutting wires apart. He had forgotten the job he'd asked of them because he’d only been able to focus on one thing.

"Ah, " Davros said as he saw them. "The Doctor's children of time." Both Mickey and Martha twirled around.

"Yeah, whatever you were trying to power up, you can forget it," Mickey said, holding up a cut cable before tossing it on the floor.

"Get them!" Davros ordered his Daleks. "Get them!"

"You better run," the Doctor told them. "Thank you." 

Martha and Mickey both gave the Doctor a nod before turning around and running. Davros turned his chair around, facing the Doctor.

"You think we can't repair the damage?" he snarled at the Doctor. "We have planned this for an age there is nothing that can stop it."

"Stop what exactly?" the Doctor asked then. “What is this grande plan you keep going on about?”

"A reality bomb," Davros answered in a matter of fact voice, like he'd expected the Doctor to already have figured it out.

Fear crept into the Doctor's face as he realised just what that meant. That is what all the planets were for. Of course. They were energy parts to a bomb. A bomb with the power to wipe out all life in the universe, in every universe. To reset the clock. 

"No, Davros," the Doctor said. "You can't! Not this!"

"What did you think your Bad Wolf was for, Doctor?" Davros spat. "For years I've been orchestrating events with the help of Dalek Caan's predictions. Years!"

"What are you talking about?" the Doctor breathed, fearing to believe the logical conclusions his mind was already making.

"Do you honestly think the Emperor was there by accident?" Davros said. "I sent him! I sent the Emperor through the hole in time. To the Earth, with one instruction. Destroy it. I knew you'd never let it happen. Your precious Earth."

"Why?"

"Dalek Caan saw the Bad Wolf being born out of the fear of losing you."

"No." The Doctor shook his head, taking a step back, feeling as though someone had knocked the air out of his lungs. "Canary Wharf? The void ship?"

"All me, Doctor." Davros smiled with utter triumph. And why shouldn't he feel triumphant? He had been playing them like puppets and they had danced along, never knowing who was pulling the strings.

"I suppose the Conn sisters were responsible for making her sick too," the Doctor said. Davros said nothing, only smiled. 

The Doctor felt ill. Everything planned out to get them here. To this point in time and space. 

"You're gonna use her to power the Reality bomb. She is the spark." The Doctor could longer run from it. The truth of his life. Of Rose’s life. 

Davros nodded. "You have made me the perfect weapon, Doctor," Davros said in his raspy voice. "You, who don't even carry a gun." The Doctor felt like he couldn't breathe. "Do you see yourself now?" Davros asked. "Destroyer of worlds." 

The Doctor stared at Davros, paralysed by the realisation. He was right. The Doctor abhorred violence. But he had destroyed his entire race. No matter he'd done it because he'd felt he had no other choice. He had still done it. Killed them all. Burned his home to ashes. 

And then he'd met a human girl. Young and beautiful. Innocent and brave. He'd clung to her because she was everything he’d lost. She'd pulled him out of an unimaginable darkness. She had saved him. And in turn he had corrupted her, turned her into a weapon. He was like a cancer. He poisoned everything he touched.

The Doctor hadn't noticed when he fell to his knees. Suddenly he just found himself staring at the floor, struggling to breathe. Everything he'd thought he was. everything he'd fought to become was a lie. He should have burned with Gallifrey. It should have ended there.

"Doctor..." Rose's voice. "Doctor, don't listen to him. Please. It isn't true."

"How can you say that?" the Doctor ground out. "Look at what I did to you."

"No," Rose refuted. "You... you saved my life."

"I condemned it."

"Yes, you did," Davros cut in. "You turned the woman you love into the very thing you hate."

"POWER RE-STORED," the Dalek announced.

"Activate it," Davros said. 

The Doctor's head flipped up as Rose screamed.

"Stop that!" he screamed at Davros.

"I would if Miss Tyler wasn't so stubborn," Davros growled with frustration. "Stop fighting, Miss Tyler," Davros urged her. "Become what you were meant to be."

"No!" Rose screamed. She twisted and turned, trying so desperately to escape.

The Doctor looked up and felt his stomach drop. Martha and Mickey were being marched onto the bridge. They hadn't gotten away. Martha dropped her raised hands as she spotted him.

"Doctor!" she exclaimed. 

She made a move to run to him but a Dalek immediately stopped her, aiming his gun straight at her. After them came Donna and Sarah Jane. Both gave the Doctor a nod. They'd completed their task. At least those people were off the ship.

"Ah, perfect timing," Davros said with delight. "Miss Tyler?" he called. "Can you hear me?"

"Yeah, but I think I’ve heard enough so just... button it... why don't you," Rose ground out.

Davros chuckled. "Some friends have arrived. Do you know them?" he asked. 

Mickey and Martha were urged forwards while Donna and Sarah Jane were held at gunpoint to stay where they were.

Mickey's eyes grew round in utter shock as he saw Rose on the screen. He had to stop himself from rushing forwards. Martha's gaze flickered to the Doctor, concern clouding them.

"Shall I shoot one?" Davros asked. "Or perhaps both of them?" 

Rose glared up at Davros on the screen. "Go to hell," she ground out.

"Very well," Davros agreed. "Shoot the girl," he said. 

The Doctor got to his feet. "No!" he cried out.

"Then I suggest you urge Miss Tyler to stop resisting," Davros told the Doctor.

The Doctor turned his gaze to the image of Rose. He could see how she struggled.

"I won't let him use me," she told him, her voice strained. "I won't... be a weapon."

"Shoot the girl," Davros said. 

The Doctor lunged himself forwards knowing he was too far away to reach Martha in time. Her eyes met his. Fear. That's what he saw in them. She didn't want to die.

It all happened in the blink of an eye. One of the Daleks aimed its gun and fired. But Mickey somehow managed to knock Martha out of the way at the last second. 

Both crashed to the floor. 

The impact knocked the air out of Martha's lungs. It took her a moment to realise she was actually still alive. She sighed with momentary relief. Mickey had saved her before, when they'd been hiding from the Daleks in the belly of the ship. He'd done it without even stopping to think. Because she'd learned that, that was just the kind of man he was. Sacrificing when it mattered most.

The Doctor ran over to them. He grabbed Mickey with hands that shook. The minute Mickey's empty eyes met Martha's she screamed. 

The Doctor pulled him off her and she scrambled up. Mickey's dead eyes were staring up at nothing where he lay on the floor.

"No, no, no," Martha chanted in desperation. It couldn't be. He couldn't be dead. "Mickey!" she cried. "I just got to know you," her tone of voice saying that there had been the beginning of something there. Whatever that something might have become it was dead now. It would never be. An entire life, full of possibilities snuffed out in an instance.

The Doctor reached down to Mickey's wrist and checked for a pulse, just to be sure. There was nothing. The Doctor stared at the dead boy's face. 

They'd had their differences. The Doctor had stolen Rose away from him after all. There was no denying that. The Doctor had been so desperate to cling to the joy Rose brought him that he hadn't stopped to think of the pain his own happiness cost. 

Mickey was a good man. He hadn't deserved to have his entire life upended. He had never asked for any of this. He'd never wanted to be a part of the Doctor's world. But he'd been too good to turn and run away. And now he was dead. Mickey Smith was dead.

The Doctor swallowed hard. "Martha, he's gone." He tried to pull her away. 

Martha pushed him off her. "This is your fault!" she spat, tears streaming down her face. 

The Doctor looked as though she'd struck him. Donna made a move forwards but the Daleks stopped her. Martha turned back to Mickey's lifeless body. She shook her head. 

"I didn't mean that," she cried. "I'm sorry, Doctor. I didn't mean that." 

Donna and Sarah Jane were clutching each others hands, a desperate bid for strength and comfort where none else could be found.

"Doctor!" Rose. 

The Doctor felt his stomach twist into a knot. Painful and harsh. This would hurt her. He should have kept Rose safe from this. He should have been faster. Better. 

The Doctor would gladly have traded places with Mickey if it meant Rose wouldn't be hurt. But he couldn't trade their places, however much he might want to. Now Mickey was another death added to weigh on his conscience. One he had to find the strength to bear.

The Doctor turned around, his eyes finding Rose's on the screen. 

"Tell me he's okay," Rose breathed. She was still strapped down. Whatever they’d used to drill into her skull was clearly meant to channel the power inside her. The power the Doctor had imbued her with. The spark Davros would use to destroy the universe. 

"Rose..." the Doctor trailed off unable to voice it. 

But his silence told her more than his words ever could. He expected her to scream or cry or curse him like Martha. But she did neither. She just sat there on the floor as light began moving beneath her skin. 

She clenched her hands into fists, struggling so desperately to regain the control she was losing. Losing because the boy she’d once loved was dead. But she couldn’t do it and the Doctor could do nothing but stare into her grief stricken eyes as they began to glow with the energy of the time vortex.

"Finally," Davros said, staring at the image of Rose in awe. 

Gallifreyans hadn't started out as Time Lords. Proximity to the time vortex during countless millennia had gradually turned them into what they'd become. It was an intricate part of their physiology, woven into their very souls. But in Rose it was errant. She was human and the power had nowhere to go.

Rose gave the Doctor a slight nod. He realised if she could, she'd turn herself to ashes in an attempt to stop what was happening.

He shook his head, knowing his fear, his pain at the mere memory of losing her showed on his face. But he realised as he looked at Rose that it wouldn’t be enough to stop her. Because Rose would gladly die to save the universe. Problem was he didn’t have the strength to let her.

“Please,” the Doctor said. “Stop.” He turned his attention to Davros. 

Once pleading with Davros might have cost the Doctor something. But his pride seemed to matter little now. It was a shadowed thing eclipsed by something far greater. The love of a girl much braver than him. 

“You will watch her burn, Doctor,” Davros said. “You’ll watch me win. Nothing you can do about that now.” 

"Use me instead of her," the Doctor found himself saying. Davros turned to him. But the Doctor kept his eyes on Rose.

"You think you can take her place?" Davros asked. “She was created for this.”

"If you wound me. Mortally. You can harvest the regeneration energy to power your Reality bomb." A tear fell down the Doctor's cheek. "Use me. Not her."

"And so the prophecy is realised," Dalek Caan's mad voice cut through the room. "The last will sacrifice all for the sake of one."

Davros smiled. Cruel and twisted. And the Doctor thought maybe he had expected this. Expected the Doctor to give it all up. To burn down the world just to save Rose. To fulfil words that had haunted the Doctor since he was a child. 

It had never been enough for Davros to simply kill him. He had wanted to break him. And he had. Davros had showed the Doctor who he was.  
A cancer.  
A poison.  
The destroyer of worlds.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is waayy late and I’m so sorry. It’s been a bit rough lately but I’m going to really try and stick to the schedule and post every Tuesday. Promiiise. Hope you liked the chapter!


	22. A broken man’s bargain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when you no longer have the will to fight?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I am sooo sorry this took me ages to post. That was not the plan. I’ve just been in a hole where I think everything I write is crap lol. But I realised that if I don’t post this now I never will. so here goes

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Rose sat on the floor, fighting to contain the power surging through her blood. Brutal images were flashing inside her head. She saw herself burning. She saw the Doctor bowing his head in defeat. 

She saw Mickey. Mickey happy and smiling with Martha Jones. One possible, beautiful timeline that would now never be. 

Mickey had been such an intricate part of Rose’s life for so long that the loss of him was devastating. The grief was ripping her apart, the energy pouring out of the open wound.

“Rose, please just hold on,” Jack was telling her. 

Mickey was dead. Dead. Rose screamed.

“Just wait,” Jack said frantically. “I almost got it.” 

He was still trying to get her out. But Davros wasn’t going to let her get out that easily. Not after working so long to get her and the Doctor here. To this one moment in time. 

“Doctor!!” Rose screamed. “Please!” 

“I’ll get you to him, Rose,” Jack promised. 

“No,” Rose cried. “Run! Jack please, just run!” 

She couldn’t hold on anymore. It hurt too much. 

Miraculously sparks suddenly blew out of the lock to her cell. Jack called out in triumph as the doors slid opened. 

//

Jack rushed inside the room but paused.

Rose was on the floor. Strapped down, energy swirling around her, scorching the very air. Dust caught on fire. 

Jack could feel the power of it. Like it wanted to rip the very fabric of reality apart. Neutrons and electrons torn asunder one minute and crashed together in catalyst the next. The kind of power that could only be born out destruction. 

No mortal man could get close to that and live. 

But Jack wasn’t mortal. As he stared at Rose he had a strange realisation. She was the one who had made him this way. The Doctor had claimed it was an accident. Was it? 

With the time vortex running through her head, had Rose seen this moment? Known that Jack needed to be something more to save her. To save them all. 

“Doctor,” Rose wept. “I can’t.”

Jack sprung into action. There was no time for theories and second guessing. 

Carefully he tore the thing out of Rose’s neck. She cried out as she collapsed. 

Jack took a breath before he reached for the metal around Rose’s wrists. It was the first time he made contact with the energy swirling around her. Pain ran like lightning through his hand. He drew back instinctively. 

He looked at his hand. It appeared unharmed but he could feel the broken parts inside fighting to tie themselves back together.  
Jack pushed the fear of what it could do to him out of his mind and reached back down. 

He tore at the metal, holding Rose. It was roughly carved and harsh, tearing his skin as he managed to free her.  
He spared no thought for himself before he picked her up. 

He felt it immediately. The pain. It shoot through his entire body, threatening to tear him into dust. 

Jack faltered, dropping Rose as he fell back. Maybe he couldn’t do it, he thought frantically. Maybe he wasn’t strong enough. He looked at his vortex manipulator, still strapped to his wrist. He reached for it, pressing a few buttons but it remained dead. Useless. 

“What are you doing?” Rose managed to get out. “Jack...”

“My vortex manipulator,” Jack said. “If only the stupid thing worked.” 

“You should get a sonic screwdriver,” Rose mumbled as tears streamed down her face.

He couldn’t imagine what kind of pain she was in and yet she teased him. Only Rose, Jack thought. Only she would go out with hope and a smile. 

Jack took a few strengthening breaths. He could do no worse. “It’s no match for a blaster,” Jack joked as he struggled back up. 

“It is if you want... to fix something.” 

Then Rose cried out. The sound of it fractured, torn out of her. 

Jack took another couple of hasty breaths. He could do this. He had to believe he could. That Rose had made sure he could. 

He reached down again and picked her up. Struggling to his feet he felt the energy tearing through him, ripping him apart. But he also felt his own body fighting it. 

Jack stumbled out of the room and this time he stayed on his feet.

Rose had made him but she’d made sure she could not unmake him. 

Jack hurried out into the hallway. He had to get her to the Doctor. Somehow he had to do it. 

Every step he fought to take. Every breath was a battle. He was being torn asunder under an onslaught of power strong enough to ignite the end of the universe. It hurt. And somehow Rose held all that inside her.

Jack took another step. And another. He thought he could hear them coming. The Daleks. Rushing through the halls to get to them. 

If they found them before Jack got Rose to the Doctor it was all over. 

Trying to evade the Daleks Jack hurried on aimlessly. Turning down a different hallway every time he thought he heard them coming. 

The energy swirled around both him and Rose. It reached and yearned to be released. Rose fought so hard to hold on to it and Jack held on to her. 

And then Jack suddenly faltered. He went down on one knee, nearly weeping with the pain of holding on to Rose as he did. 

He tried to get back up. He tried so hard.

But then someone was pulling him back, away from Rose. He fought whoever it was. Jack had a job to do. A job Rose had made sure only he could do. And he was going to do it.

But the minute Jack realised just who it was that had pulled him away he stopped fighting. The Doctor. 

“How did you get off the bridge,” Jack croaked out. 

“Had help,” the Doctor replied evasively. 

“How did you find us?”

Jack was pretty sure he’d led the Daleks on a merry chase, rushing through the ship haphazardly. 

“I can always find her,” the Doctor replied. He paused for a moment, looking down on Jack. “But without you I never would have. Thank you, Captain.”

Jack’s smile was weak but grateful. He’d done what he was supposed to do. He’d gotten Rose to the Doctor. 

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Rose saw everything through a haze of pain and grief and fear. She didn’t want the world to end. She didn’t want anyone else to die. 

Suddenly she felt fingers against her face. Soft. Trembling. Their touch lit up something inside her. Something vital she had lost. Something in her mind she’d feared gone. The Doctor. 

_Rose..._

It was a whisper across her mind. A caress, a balm on an open wound. She wanted to open her eyes but she feared what she’d see. What the Doctor would see in hers. That which he resented above all else. A weapon. 

_Rose..._

Tears were streaming down her face. Feeling him inside her mind was like she was finally given air, not knowing she’d been dying without it. 

Rose had put up so many walls to keep the Doctor out because the power of the bond had scared her. But feeling it now she couldn't imagine a life without it. Losing it had been like losing some essential part of herself. She had never felt so alone.

“Rose, open your eyes, please. I need you to open your eyes.”

“I can’t.” Rose shook her head. “I can’t stop.” 

The Doctor picked her up and put her in his lap. They didn’t have a lot of time. Or perhaps they had none at all. 

“Yes, you can,” the Doctor said. “You’ve done it before, Rose. You were so strong then. I need you to be that strong again.” 

He buried his face against Rose’s neck for a moment. She could feel his breath against her skin. She could feel his hand clutching her jacket, his fingers tangled in her hair. The force of his grip spoke of his desperation. Of his fear. 

“I held you then,” the Doctor said. His voice was broken and muffled but she could still hear him. Every word echoed an emotion so strong she felt it like a pulse beating within her own heart. 

“In that place between time,” he said. “I held you as I’d only dreamed.” And Rose felt him tremble at the memory of it. “Because I did dream of it, Rose. So many nights. So many days. And I thought it would kill you. My loving you. But it didn’t.” 

The Doctor raised his head. His fingers brushed against her cheek, tracing the curve of her cheekbone. She worried she would hurt him but he didn’t seem to care. 

“Because you were strong, Rose. Stronger than anyone I’ve ever met.”

"I can't stop," Rose cried. “I’m sorry.” 

"Just focus on me," the Doctor said. "Not..." he tripped over the name. "Mickey," he managed to get out. "Not the Daleks. Feel me, Rose. Only me."

Rose took a deep, uneven breath. She tried to close the wound and pull the energy back. The Doctor shook his head at her attempt.

"No," he whispered. "Don't try to control it, you won't be able to. We're far past that." 

He leaned down and kissed a tear away from her cheek. 

"Feel this?" he asked. The touch of his lips sent that familiar tingle over her skin. "Just focus on me," he whispered and kissed her.

It was like Rose could feel neurones firing off in her mind, finding connections that had been lost. She had wandered in darkness and this was the light. 

Every brush of the Doctor’s fingers, every touch of his skin against Rose’s shifted the energy burning inside her. It gave it focus. Gave it a connection. Made it easier for her to control.

Rose reached across the bond, opening her mind to the Doctor’s fearlessly. Like she’d never dared before.

As she did a rush of emotions overwhelmed her. His emotions. It was pain and desperation all mingled together with joy and disbelief and the most profound sense of gratitude. 

Gratitude that she was alive. That he got hold her one last time before the end. 

Rose gasped as that thought cut through her to her very core. 

She broke away from him. 

The Doctor nuzzled her nose. "You have to go now," he said. 

Rose stared at him in confusion. “You mean we,” she said. “We have to go.”

At first he didn’t answer. He just held her, touched her. His fingers ghosting over her skin like he thought she was made of glass. That she would shatter and he would lose her again. 

“You have to go,” the Doctor repeated. 

Rose shook her head, fearing the resignation she felt coming from him. Like his mind was made up. 

“Yes.” The Doctor ran his fingers down the side off her face and through Rose’s hair. He just couldn’t stop touching her. “I’ll take your place.” 

“No,” Rose denied. What did he mean, take her place? “That doesn’t make any sense,” she told him. 

“It does,” the Doctor assured. “I’ll take your place in the machine. I’m not like you so the spark won’t be as strong. You were created for this. You’re more. But Davros, he wants me to suffer. He’ll let me do it. By the time he realises it won’t work you’ll be long gone.”

"No, I'm not leaving you here. No," Rose told him.

“Yes.”

“No, no.” Rose straightened. “You’re a Time Lord, you don’t know what putting you into that machine will do. You don’t...-“

“If my calculations are correct, and they usually are you’ll be safe. The damage will be... contained.”

Rose pushed the Doctor back as she sat up. “Contained? What does that mean?” 

She felt the energy inside her shift. It was still alive and crackling. Still yearning to be set free. But she held it back. With the Doctor here for now she was able to hold it back.

“He means it will be contained to this universe.” Both Rose and the Doctor turned at the sound of Jack’s voice. “This small pocket of space and time. Isn’t that right?” 

Jack looked worse than before. Like he’d walked through hell itself and come out on the other side. 

Rose’s focus snapped back to the Doctor. “This pocket universe?” The horror of those words hit her like a knife to the heart. “Doctor there are thirty-six planets here including the Earth. You can’t.” 

Finally the Doctor opened his eyes and looked at Rose. In his eyes she saw the horror of what he’d endured. When he thought he’d lost her. The pain of it driving him insane. The agony burning through him until he thought there’d been nothing left. 

_I can't watch you burn._

The words he sent soundlessly across the bond were wrapped up in his despair. She could feel the weight and truth of each one. 

_Please, don't make me._

But Rose shook her head again. "No," she said. “You won’t. Doctor, please.” 

“I’m not worth saving, Rose,” he said. “But you are. This will work. Trust me. The universe will go on. You will go on.”

“No, you’re giving up. Don’t do this. Doctor you can’t believe what Davros said about you. None of it’s true.” 

"But it is true, Rose," the Doctor said sadly, looking at her as though he expected her to understand. "I killed my people. Every last one of them and I turned you into this. Everyone dies around me. I am the destroyer of worlds." 

“No...”

“Enough of this.” Davros’s voice boomed out along the halls over the speaker system. They’d been found. 

Rose looked around hastily and saw them coming. Daleks. Immediately she pushed at the Doctor to get him up. She stumbled to her feet but the Doctor rose smoothly. 

Jack was scrambling behind them, looking around frantically for any kind of weapon 

“Run,” the Doctor said, placing himself in front of Rose, shielding her from the Daleks. “Now.” 

Rose clasped his arm. “There are still thirty-six planets out there, Doctor,” Rose reminded him. “Thirty-six planets that will be destroyed if you go into that machine.”

“That’s better than the whole universe, Rose. That’s what I have to consider,” he growled impatiently. “The whole bloody universe. Not just the Earth. Not just you humans. Everyone and everything. ”

More Daleks were coming, filling the edge of the hallway. 

“Guys, I think we should really go,” Jack tried to point out. 

“Take her,” the Doctor told Jack. He shook free from Rose’s hold. “Get her out of here. I’ll see to the rest. “

“Doctor, no.” She would not leave him, no matter what foolish plan he’d gotten into his head. “If you stay I’ll stay...” 

The Doctor looked back over his shoulder. But he didn’t look at Rose. His dark eyes caught Jack’s instead. 

“Get her out of here,” the Doctor told Jack. His voice was uncompromising. He was giving an order and he expected it to be obeyed. “Or I’ll never forgive you. Do I make myself clear?” 

Jack’s fingers tightened around Rose’s arm, urging her back. 

Rose took a step towards the Doctor but Jack’s hold held her fast. 

The Doctor turned back, facing the Daleks as though he’d done it a hundred times. And he probably had. He’d fought a war against them. A war that had devastated the whole galaxy and burned his home to dust. 

Yet he didn’t seem afraid. His arms were opened. His stance one of welcome. 

Rose tore free of Jack and ran for the Doctor. But before she reached him. Before she had any chance of stopping him he’d turned around and grabbed her. 

His hold on her was brutal, each finger leaving an imprint on her arms as he yanked her close. 

“I thought I lost you,” he growled. “Can you understand that?” Rose stared at him. “And I can’t...” he faltered for a moment, struggling to form the words that would make her see. “I can’t go through it again, Rose. I’ll distract them. I’ll distract Davros. I’ll make sure to buy you enough time. I’ll end it.” 

Rose’s hands were on the Doctor’s chest, her fingers slipping beneath the lapels of his suit jacket. He swallowed hard, his eyes fluttering shut as though her touch hurt him. 

Before Rose could say anything that familiar cry of the Daleks rang through the hallway. 

“EXTERMINATE!”

The Doctor pushed Rose away from him. Her hands slipped from his chest and she crashed into Jack. Both of them stumbled back. The exterminator beam missed them by inches. 

“You do not harm her!” the Doctor shouted as he spun around. “That was the deal.” 

Rose tried to get free of Jack’s hold on her. “We have to go, Rose,” Jack tried to tell her. 

Another exterminator beam and both Jack and Rose ducked, avoiding it by inches. It hit the haul sending sparks flying. 

Jack pulled her back and reluctantly Rose tore her gaze away from the Doctor. She turned and ran with Jack. 

It physically hurt to do. Like the strings tying Rose and the Doctor together were not meant to be drawn so taught. 

Rose and Jack turned down another hallway. Rushing down it, they took a hard right turn and kept running until they couldn’t hear the Daleks anymore. 

That’s when Rose stopped. 

Jack skidded to a halt, turning back. “Rose, we got to-“

But what she held in her hand made him pause. The Doctor’s sonic screwdriver. 

“Give me your arm,” she said, smiling. 

Jack glanced down at his wrist and the broken vortex manipulator strapped around it. 

“Come on,” Rose urged and Jack hurried over. She ran the sonic over it. It beeped and objected some. “Just give me a minute.” And then the display lit up. “Yes!” she exclaimed in triumph. “Told you, you should have had a sonic screwdriver.”

“Not bad,” Jack admitted. 

“You mind if I borrow this for a tic?” 

Rose was already unclasping the vortex manipulator but Jack yanked his hand away before she could take it. 

“I’ll get him,” Jack said and immediately he saw Rose was getting ready to argue. “Just please, Rose,” he interrupted her before she could start. “The Doctor will have my head if I let you run head first into a handful of Daleks. Besides, you don’t know how to use it.”

“So show me.”

“I will. Some other time when we are far away from here.”

“Fine,” Rose growled with frustration. “Just hurry. I’ll meet you back at the TARDIS.” 

Jack nodded with relief before he pressed a couple of buttons on the manipulator and vanished into thin air. 

Rose spun on her heel and rushed on. She could feel the energy inside her twist and coil, harder for her to hold on to the further away she was from the Doctor.

And that one thing she couldn’t think about. That one thing she’d lost. That someone who was gone.

She followed the dull hallways. What guided her she wasn’t quite sure but she knew where to go. 

She knew how to find the TARDIS. Just as she’d known when she’d first found the Doctor. When she jumped across universes just to see him again. She knew how to find the TARDIS. She felt it. 

Deeper into the bowls of the Dalek crucible she hurried.

She heard them arguing before she saw them. 

“How dare you?!” the Doctor screamed. 

It was dark that deep into the ship. 

“What would you have me do?” Jack ground out. 

The light from the TARDIS gave little illumination as Rose saw it come into view. 

She skidded to a stop. The Doctor had a brutal hold on Jack, a snarl to his lips. 

“You do not put her life in jeopardy. Do you hear me!”

“I didn’t,” Jack told the Doctor. He made no effort to fight or get free. Jack simply let the Doctor push him harshly against the TARDIS door. 

His gaze fluttered up as he spotted Rose. “She’s right there,” Jack said. 

It took the Doctor a moment to turn around. A moment of fear. Of doubt. 

He looked back over his shoulder. Seeing her standing there he let go of Jack. 

“Are you going to shout at me too then?” she asked him. 

But the Doctor didn’t shout at her. His shoulders slumped and he looked tired. More tired than she thought she’d ever seen him. 

“What is your plan?” he asked them. The fatigue was in his voice too. Like he didn’t really have the strength to care what they had to say. 

Rose walked over to them. “Get in the TARDIS,” she told the Doctor. 

He raised his gaze slowly to hers. Hopelessness turned the rich brown of his eyes flat. Like dead leaves. 

“What for?” he said. 

Seeing him like this was breaking Rose’s heart. 

“So we can figure this out,” she said with a bit of steel. “Our friends are still out there. My planet and thirty-five more are out there. They need us.” She took a step closer to the Doctor, catching his gaze in hers. “They need the Doctor,” she said. 

She’d hoped some spark to ignite in his eyes. Some fire that made him who he was. But if there was she did not catch it before his eyes slid from hers. But he turned to the TARDIS. 

Jack moved quickly out of the way and the Doctor opened the door and walked inside. 

Rose and Jack exchanged a look before Jack followed him.

Rose paused for a moment, taking in the sight of the old ship. She ran her hand along the wood before she followed the others. 

Rose expected the energy to settle the moment she stepped past the doors. As it had before. But this time it took a moment. It scared her. Perhaps one of these days not even the TARDIS would be able to help Rose keep control. 

Rose and Jack found the Doctor at the centre console. 

“What will it be then?” he asked, while he flipped a couple of switches. “Barcelona?” 

“Doctor,” Rose said carefully, walking up the ramp towards him while Jack held back. 

“Or perhaps New New Earth, Rose?” he suggested. “You remember New New Earth? I can drop you off before it all went wrong.” 

“And then what?” Rose asked. “You’ll come back here? Sacrifice yourself? Blow everything up?” Rose stopped as she reached the console.

“Davros won’t stop,” the Doctor said. He moved around the console. Making calculations or setting coordinates, Rose wasn’t sure. “But don’t worry I’ll be sure to take him with me. It ends here.” 

“You’ve lost it,” Jack muttered from the door. 

The Doctor stopped, clasping the edge of the console so hard his knuckles turned white. 

“Have I?” he said. His gaze snapped to Jack. “Have I?!” he screamed. 

“You’re ready to die and take everyone with you!” Jack shouted back. “For what? Pity? Pride?!” 

“For her!” the Doctor screamed back, throwing one arm out towards Rose. 

Rose’s eyes fluttered shut in pain. As though his words had been a physical blow. 

“For the rest of the bloody universe!” the Doctor added. “With me gone, the Daleks and Davros gone there will be peace, Jack! The Time War will finally end.” 

“Yeah?” Jack spat. “And what about her?” He pointed at Rose. “You’re so worried about her. What do you think losing you will do to her?!” 

“She’s strong,” the Doctor said. “Stronger than you know.”

“Yes, I am strong.” Rose stepped between them, forcing the Doctor to look at her. “But I am not strong enough to let you die like this,” she said with force. “Like a fool.” 

His chin jerked back as though she’d stuck him. “Rose...” 

“No, Doctor.” She took a step towards him. “The Doctor in the TARDIS with Rose Tyler. That’s how it’s suppose to be.”

The Doctor ran shaking fingers through his hair and Rose took another step forwards. Carefully as though she was approaching a wounded animal. And equally he watched wearily. 

"Touch me," she said, her voice trembling but her resolve firm.

"What?" The Doctor narrowed his eyes at her in suspicion, clearly that was not what he’d expected.

"Touch me," Rose repeated. “Here.” 

She ceased his hand and placed his fingers against her temples. The way she’d seen him do when he read minds. The Doctor's eyes searched hers. Searched for permission. 

Rose gave it. Without thought or fear she gave it. 

Tentatively the Doctor raised his other hand and placed it against her other temple. And Rose took down every wall she’d ever put up against him. 

She took down the walls fear and mistrust had hammered down around her mind. There was nothing she needed to fear. She knew evil. She'd seen it and the bond wasn't it. The Doctor wasn’t it. 

What he’d done he’d done out of love. He’d created something huge and terrifying but it was equally wonderful and indescribably beautiful. 

That’s what she showed him. Her love for him. Her faith in him. 

It had begun that very first time he’d asked her to come with him. On that cold December night after she’d saved his life beneath the London Eye. 

She imagined the moment as clearly as she could. So he’d see. 

The Doctor had stood in the door to the TARDIS and suggested with a simple shrug that she should come along. Travel the stars, with him. 

She’d said no at first, fear of the unknown holding her back. But she wasn’t afraid anymore. Not of him. Not of the bond. 

It is what the Doctor did. He made things better. He wasn’t a poison but neither was he simply a cure. 

He was a man. Mad, fantastic and complicated, but most of all a good man. And the universe needed good men. She needed him. He had to see that. She had to make him see that.

“Rose...” Her name fell from his lips like a benediction. 

She took the last step, close enough to him that with every breath they touched. She placed her hand against his chest, right between his two beating hearts. 

“I know your heart,” she said, echoing the words he’d spoken to her. So long ago when she was the one who’d been scared and on the brink of breaking. “I know every beat because it beats with mine.” 

The Doctor stared at her in wonder as his hands fell from her temples. His fingers trailing down her cheeks before he placed his hands around her’s. The one she held against his chest.

“Now you decide who you want to believe in, Doctor” Rose said. “The girl who loves you or the madman who hates you.”

The Doctor closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath. Rose felt as though he breathed her in with him. Her strength, her conviction, her belief in him. She prayed he did. She’d gladly give him everything she had. 

“You,” he said and opened his eyes. Rich brown ones looked into hers. Rich like burnt umber. Alive. “Always you.” 

The Doctor looked at Rose with a fearful sort of hope. Inch by inch daring himself to believe. Believe he could risk everything without losing her. That they could save everyone. That they could win. 

“So, no longer running us off then?” Jack asked carefully.

The Doctor tore his gaze away from Rose and looked at Jack. He gave him a smile and Rose thought her heart might burst with the joy of it. 

Drawing in a quick breath through his nose the Doctor said, “can’t seem to get rid of you no matter how hard I try, Jack.” 

Rose laughed and immediately drew the Doctor’s attention back to her. 

“My beautiful Rose Tyler.” The Doctor lips spread in slow smile. Filled with wonder and gratitude. 

“My brilliant Doctor.”

At that the Doctor picked Rose up and spun her around once. Holding on to her for a moment before putting her back on her feet. 

“Well then,” he said, letting her go hastily, perhaps fearing if he held on too long he wouldn’t be able to let go at all. He clapped his hands together and turned. He disappeared around the console. 

"So, is there a plan then?" Rose asked after him. 

“Plan, yes, well,” the Doctor said distractedly. “Nothing to get the gears going like a lecture from you two.” 

He cleared his throat a couple of times before he pulled the screen over and began tapping away at the keys. 

“Or a snog or two,” Jack remarked and winked at Rose as he came walking up the ramp. 

Rose smiled back at him and the Doctor coughed awkwardly. 

The Doctor retrieved his glasses out of his pocket and put them on, clearly deciding to ignore them. 

He squinted at the screen. His eyes ran back and forth over it before he tapped the keys again. His fingers dancing over them in a rush.

“Oh, you are beautiful,” the Doctor said. 

Rose leaned her hip against the console as she stood watching him. Happy to recognise that glint of fire in his eyes again. 

“Alright, so we’ll stop the Daleks,” the Doctor said. “and... get Martha, Donna and Sarah Jane and return all the planets. Easy." the Doctor said, flipping a couple of switches. 

"Or maybe get Martha, Donna and Sarah Jane first, then stop the Daleks and then return the planets. Or...-"

"Doctor," Rose interrupted him. "You're rambling.”

“I am not rambling. I’m telling you the plan,” he said. 

“Alright,” Rose admitted. “Is it possible we could learn a little more about the ‘how’ of this plan of yours and not so much about the ‘what’?” 

“Of course.” The Doctor straightened his tie.

The room felt lighter already. Like even the TARDIS had held her breath. 

Rose walked over to the Doctor's side and Jack quickly joined him on his other.

"So what exactly are we looking at?" Rose asked, staring at the screen and understanding nothing about the strange circular shapes flashing across it.

"See this here?" The Doctor pointed at a particular circle within another circle overlapped by lines. "It's the Dalek Pathweb."

"Pathweb? What's that?"

"It's this kind of artificial telepathic sort of web. All Daleks are linked up to it. It’s how they share information."

"So they have Wifi," Rose concluded. Both the Doctor and Jack turned to her. "What?" she asked at the looks they were giving her.

"This is a highly sophisticated piece of technology," the Doctor explained, gesticulating with his whole hand to further emphasise his point. "During the war we tried multiple times to hack it but we never could."

"It is a web they share information over, an artificial one, not like with you and me right?" Rose said, pointing her finger back and forth between her and the Doctor.

"Yeah, what is that about anyway?" Jack cut in. "You can hear each other's thoughts or what?" 

Both Rose and the Doctor ignored him.

"So it's an information web that they can all access wirelessly..." Rose continued, smiling impishly at him. 

The Doctor sighed and rolled his eyes. "Alright, yes they have Wifi," he conceded, clearly annoyed Rose had simplified such a complicated thing.

"So you can hear every crazy little thought inside his head?" Jack asked, too curious to let it go.

"It doesn't work like that," the Doctor said, turning back to the monitor.

"Yeah, it's more like I can feel him," Rose tried to explain. "If I let myself. It's sort of..."

"Intimate?" Jack asked, raising one eyebrow. 

Rose nodded slowly. “Very.”

"Can we please focus back to problem at hand," the Doctor insisted, pointing at the screen.

Both Rose and Jack immediately gave him their attention. 

"So..." he began. "Before we left I set the TARDIS to infiltrate the Pathweb. Not hack it per-say, just gain some access to it."

"And did she?" Jack asked.

"She did," the Doctor confirmed. 

He began pressing buttons, the picture in front of him changing, showing new circular shapes. 

"Problem is it isn't enough. Not enough to do anything. I was going to open up the feeds when I got to the bridge but I couldn’t do it alone and then things got... complicated. Anyway, it would hopefully have been enough for the TARDIS to access the Dalekanium power feeds and reverse them. Blowing the Daleks and everything they'd built back into oblivion."

"So you really were on a suicide mission from the start?" Jack asked, his voice turning sad. "You were never planning on coming back."

"I thought I'd lost Rose. There was no reason for me to come back," the Doctor said, keeping his eyes on the screen, his fingers tapping away. 

Rose captured his hand and gave it a squeeze. He stopped for a moment and squeezed hers in turn. Both taking strength form the other. 

Even through the bond it was hard for her to imagine just what he’d been through. The mere thought of losing him was enough to make it feel like her whole world shifted. Like she was losing her balance. Like she was falling.

The Doctor pulled his hand out of Rose's and returned to the monitor.

"Anyway, had any of you made it back to the TARDIS," he said to Jack. "Protocol One would have been activated. She would have taken you home."

"So now all we need is access to the bridge then?" Rose asked. The Doctor nodded. "Which we might have," Rose said.

"We do?" Jack asked.

"Donna, Martha and Sarah Jane.” Rose paused for a telling second. “If they’re still there,” she finished. 

"Is there anyway we can contact them?" Jack asked.

"Maybe," the Doctor said thoughtfully. 

Rose turned around, leaning her back against the console. She folded her arms across her chest and smiled at the Doctor.

"Is there a full on plan forming in that clever brain of yours?" she asked, smiling cheekily. 

He turned his eyes on her and his lips spread slowly, until his smile made his eyes come alight.

"Oh, yes," he said. "Oh, yes."

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·


	23. Risk and Reward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose have fought to get the Doctor back out of the darkness of his own dispair. And though he might have come out the other side the fight is far from over.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

It took him a little while but eventually the Doctor managed to hack his way into the surveillance feed for the bridge. The screen flickered once and then showed them an image of Davros. He appeared to be screaming out orders to the Daleks. 

Donna, Martha and Sarah Jane stood huddled together surrounded by a ring of Daleks. Mickey's body still lay on the floor, discarded, forgotten. The Doctor felt a horrible twinge of guilt at the sight of him. He should have been faster. Somehow he should have saved him. 

He glanced at Rose standing next to him afraid he would see sorrow in her eyes. But her eyes weren't on the screen. They were on him, alight with hope and trust. She had so much faith in him. Even now.

How she managed it the Doctor would never know. He’d just showed her one of the darkest parts of himself. The part of him that was tired of losing the people he loved, tired of fighting and never really winning. Tired of the struggle, the guilt and the pain. The part of him that wanted to give up. 

But Rose hadn’t run. She hadn’t given up. Not even on him. 

The Doctor turned his eyes back to the screen.

"Right then," he said, focusing his mind on the task at hand. "See this here." He pointed out a number of control stations spread out on the bridge of the Crucible. "I need you all to get to these. I need you to open the feeds and reverse them. I'll do the rest."

"I don't know about you but I have very little knowledge of Dalek technology," Jack pointed out. "How will we know how to reverse the feeds?"

"I can show Rose, she'll talk you through it," the Doctor explained.

"And how do we get to those stations?" Rose asked. 

The Doctor glanced at her. "You run," he said and gave her a wink. 

She smiled back at him.

"I'll make sure to keep the Daleks busy," the Doctor said, returning to pressing buttons. "They'll be reluctant to kill you, Rose and they can't kill Jack, however you are going to need Martha, Donna, and Sarah Jane to operate the stations and they are still vulnerable."

"Doctor," Rose said carefully.

"Hm," he mumbled distractedly, focused on the screen.

"You do know, what you're doing?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" he asked back, not looking at her.

"This will kill everyone of them," she said.

"Yes," he replied.

"It will be a slaughter."

"Yes,"

"I know you were all ready to end everything but are you sure...-" she began but he cut her off.

"I don't know what else to do," he said, a hint of the exhaustion he still felt sipping through his tone. "Davros won’t stop. He’ll never stop.” 

The Doctor looked up and finally met Rose’s eyes. "It's not vengeance. I swear to you it's not Rose. But he can’t be reasoned with. He's proved that. So either I stop him now or everyone dies."

Rose nodded. "Alright," she agreed. 

Just like that. It was strange and wonderful having her trust him like this again. He knew there were still things between them. Fears that needed to be faced and truths that needed to be told. But for now Rose trusted him and that was all that mattered.

The Doctor finished putting the calculations into the TARDIS computer. 

He turned to Rose. "Ready?" he asked. 

She nodded. He reached up. Carefully he put his fingers at her temples. 

"Close your eyes," he said. 

She did. A tingle ran over the Doctor’s skin from the points where he touched her. Making him acutely aware of who he was touching. Who’s mind lay at the tips of his fingers. 

Slowly he felt Rose’s mind opening to his. 

The last time she’d been fearless. Because she had to be. The only way to make him see all wasn’t lost had been to show him there was still hope. And even through the depths of his own despair she’d managed to make him see it. Through her. 

This time she wasn’t as fearless. She was careful. Each layer unraveling in increments. It was a gift he would never deserve. 

The Doctor got some flashes of memories from when she’d been little. A new pink bike. A Christmas with her mum. He realised he was going to have to teach her about guarding certain thoughts and memories she perhaps did not wish him to see. 

But there was so much more to this. So much he could teach her and so much she no doubt could teach him. If only they’d had the time. He had a time machine and yet it always seemed to come down to a matter of not having enough time.

The Doctor forced his mind to focus on putting the images inside Rose’s head. Showing her what they all needed to do.

"You got it?" he asked. 

She nodded. 

The Doctor was supposed to let go then. But for some reason he didn't. He could feel his mind binding itself tighter and tighter to Rose’s. Strings twining together and he knew he had to let go. It was dangerous making the bond too strong. It was more of a risk then he wanted to admit, even to himself. But feeling her was intoxicating. He couldn't get enough of it. 

Suddenly he found that his hand had slipped into her hair and he was pulling her closer, unable or unwilling to resist the urge.

_Doctor._

It was like a breath across his mind. A caress soft as a whisper.

"Guys, there is a time and a place." 

Jack's words was like being doused with cold water. Both the Doctor and Rose drew apart. The link snapped. 

"Um," the Doctor ran his fingers awkwardly through his hair. He needed to get a grip. "Right then," the Doctor called out. "Everyone ready?"

"Ready as we'll ever be," Jack said.

"Ready." Rose nodded. 

At first she didn't meet his eye and he worried he’d let it go to far. Perhaps he’d scared her again. But then she looked up and her beautiful whisky eyes met his. She gave him a smile. One that told him everything would be alright. And that was all he needed. 

He flipped the switch, the TARDIS humming to life.

"Off we go," he said.

"Off to save the universe!" Jack declared. 

Rose laughed.

The TARDIS dematerialised and materialised a few floors up. As close as the Doctor could safely get them to the bridge.

"Alright, you two know what to do," the Doctor said, both Jack and Rose nodding. "Good luck."

"And you," Jack said with a swift salute, hurrying to the doors. 

Before Rose followed she turned to back to the Doctor. There was so much he wanted to tell her. And so much he feared to tell her. And now they had time for none of it.

“I have something for you,” she said.

“Oh?”

Rose fished the sonic out of her pocket and held it out to him. 

“That’s how you fixed Jack’s vortex manipulator,” the Doctor realised and Rose smiled. He took the sonic. “Clever girl.”

Rose twirled away from him. 

“Rose, wait.” She glanced back at him over her shoulder. “Be careful," the Doctor told her. 

Rose winked. "I'm always careful." 

She turned to follow Jack. But the Doctor was suddenly there, spinning her around and pulling her into his arms.

He held her to him."You are never careful enough," he told her, hugging her tight. "Your bravery scares the hell out of me. One day it will take you from me..." he trailed off. 

Rose’s arms came up around his shoulders, hugging him back.

"I'll be careful," she said. "I promise. As long as you are. You're not known for it you know," she reminded him. 

He laughed, the sound getting muffled by her hair. "Promise," he said. Finally they managed to pull apart. "I'll see you soon," the Doctor said.

"Not if I see you first," Rose promised.

She turned around and hurried after Jack, slipping out through the TARDIS doors. 

Once outside Rose snuck down the hallway after Jack. They could hear Davros shouting about having detected the TARDIS, ordering the Daleks to find it immediately.

"Hurry," Jack urged over his shoulder. 

They both ran down the hallway when they heard the Daleks coming. Jack clasped Rose’s arm and yanked her with him down another hallway. They flattened themselves against the wall, both of them pushing their backs to it, trying to be as small as possible. The first they saw was a Dalek eyestalk. 

Both Rose and Jack immediately stopped breathing. The Dalek moved past them. It did not look their way. 

Three more followed the first. The last one stopped for some reason. Right next to them. All it had to do was turn its head and it would see them. Rose and Jack pressed themselves tighter to the wall.

"TARDIS DE-TECTED ON LEVEL FO-UR," one of the Daleks announced. 

The Dalek that had stopped moved again, all four of them disappearing down the hall. Jack peaked out.

"I think we're clear," he said.

They continued down the way they had before. It wouldn't be too hard finding the bridge. All they had to do was follow Davros's screams of frustration. Apparently things weren't quite going according to plan anymore.

"Fools!" they heard Davros scream. "He's on level eight now! Level eight! Catch him!" 

Jack and Rose sneaked closer. They peaked out behind a bend and saw the bridge. Davros was screaming at a holographic image of the TARDIS as it dematerialised. They could just spot Donna, Martha and Sarah Jane off to the side, only two Dalek's guarding them now. Many were off chasing the Doctor. There were however still some Daleks about. Rose could hear them in the shadows.

"Okay," Jack whispered back to Rose. "I'll get the girls and you get to one of the control stations."

"How about I get the girls and you go to one of the control stations," Rose countered. 

Jack shook his head. "It’s far more dangerous and I can't die," he reminded her.

"No, but if they shoot you, they'll knock you out, we can't afford that. We need you conscious." Rose surveyed the scene before her, careful not to be seen by either Davros or his Daleks. "I'll go," she said. 

But Jack shook his head again. "I can't," he said. "The Doctor...-"

"What about the Doctor?" Rose interrupted, turning a glare on Jack.

"I can't put you in harms way like that," Jack whispered, trying futilely to curve Rose’s willingness to throw herself heedlessly into danger. 

"What do you mean, harms way? No place here is safe, Jack," Rose pointed out with a growl. "And if we don't do this everyone we've ever cared about is going to die. Just like Mickey. Dead. Not breathing. Dead." 

Jack drew back a little at her harsh words. Rose felt her gut twist into a knot just speaking Mickey's name. But she couldn't let that cripple her. If she did she’d lose control all over again. No, she had to use it. Let it make her angry and use that anger to fight. 

"They won't kill me," she said, forcing her voice to a more reasonable tone. "Davros still needs me."

"The Doctor will kill me," Jack pointed out. "If something happened to you he will kill me. You do realise that?"

"If we fail it wont matter anyway," Rose insisted.

Jack stared at her for a moment before finally conceding. "Fine," he said. "You get them. I'll get to one of the control stations. Do you still know what to do once we are in position?" he asked. 

Rose tapped her temple with her finger. "All safe and sound in here," she said.

"Okay, then," Jack said. 

Rose turned back to the bridge. "Here goes nothing," she said and sneaked out.

Rose streaked along the walls, keeping to the shadows. She was hoping against hope that she wouldn't run into any Daleks on the way. Not before she got to Donna, Martha and Sarah Jane. 

Davros's attention was focused on the holographic screen which he kept shouting at. He wasn't paying attention to anything else. Annabelle Conn had been right. Davros was obsessed with the Doctor. Obsessed with his destruction. 

The thought made a shiver run down Rose’s spine. But Davros wouldn’t be destroying anything if Rose had something to say about it. 

She paused, watching the two Daleks on guard. They kept swivelling around, watchful where Davros was not. 

One of them turned in Rose’s direction and she threw herself down behind a set of large canisters. Holding her breath she hunkered down behind them. Swearing she could feel the blue eyestalk of the Dalek boring into the metal that was the only thing separating her from it she had to fight not to close her eyes. 

After a few minutes she dared to peak out behind her hiding spot. Neither of the Daleks were looking in her direction. She rushed over to the girls. Their focus was on Davros who was still livid.

"Don't turn around," Rose whispered behind them. All three women froze at the sound of her voice. "There is a plan," Rose told them.

"It better be a good one," Martha hissed out of the corner of her mouth.

"Well..." Rose began.

"Oh, just spill it out," Donna interrupted. 

Rose told them the plan quickly.

"That's insane," Sarah Jane exclaimed as quietly as she could. "How are we going to get past these Daleks without being shot? How are we going to get past Davros?"

"Leave that to me," Rose said. "Then the Doctor will handle the rest."

"What are you planning on doing?" Martha asked.

"All we need is a diversion," Rose said. "And I make a pretty good one." Rose looked hastily around the room. "Get ready to run to the control stations. One at each one," Rose told them.

"I can't even change a plug," Donna pointed out frustratingly.

"You'll be fine," Rose told her. "I know you will, because there is no other choice. This is it. Or the world ends."

Rose took a deep breath and straightened. "Chasing ghosts, Davros?" she asked, loud and clear as she stepped past the two guarding Daleks with all the confidence in the world. The minute she did, they both erupted with chatter.

"ROSE TY-LER LO-CATED!"

"ROSE TY-LER LO-CATED!"

Rose watched Davros's eyes widen in disbelief as he saw her.

"Why would you be here?" he asked in his rattly mechanical voice. 

Rose wandered over to him, knowing she held the attention of the entire room.

"Why indeed?" she asked. 

Rose saw out of the corner of her eye, the three women get to their stations. And if she turned her head a little she could spot Jack at his.

"This is a trick!" Davros exclaimed, angrily. "The Doctor would never send you here. He would never risk it."

"You're right," Rose agreed. "He wouldn't." She smiled at Davros. "Unless the risk was worth the reward."

Davros stared at her as the wonderful whooshing sound signalled the arrival of the TARDIS. Rose just smiled at Davros, her eyes focused dead on his. Because, she knew that if she strayed her eyes would find Mickey on the floor. 

The TARDIS materialised and one of the doors was pulled opened. The Doctor stood in the doorway. He leaned his shoulder casually against the doorjamb, hands in his pockets, one sneakered foot crossed over the other and smiled roguishly.

"Doctor!" Davros screamed as all the remaining Daleks in the room cried out in unison.

"EXTERMINATE!"

"No!" Davros screamed out. 

A few exterminator beams still whisked past before Davros had a chance to stop them. The Doctor didn't even flinch as they missed him. 

"No one will shoot him until I give the order!" Davros called. 

The Daleks reluctantly lowered their weapons. Rose could almost taste it on the air. Just how much the Daleks wanted to kill the Doctor.

"How did you like my game of hide and seek?" the Doctor asked Davros with a smile. 

Davros's marred face twisted into a snarl. 

"Seems a lot of your Daleks are still playing," the Doctor remarked as he glanced around the room, noting on the fact that there were a lot fewer Daleks currently on the bridge.

"The end has been prophesied, Doctor! There is nothing you can do to prevent it," Davros snarled.

"Is that so?" the Doctor asked, sauntering out of the doorway, his long brown coat draped over his lean figure.

 _Go,_ he urged to Rose across the bond. 

She slowly backed away. Davros attention was focused on the Doctor but Rose knew the Daleks were not so easily fooled.

"If that's true then you have nothing to worry about do you?" the Doctor was saying while Rose edged ever closer to the last control station.

"You are finished, Doctor," Davros spat. "Your reign of terror ends." 

The Doctor's eyes focused dead on Davros. "You actually had me believing that," he said. "For a moment." 

Rose reached the station. She caught the eyes of the other companions. Time to get to work.

"Because it is true," Davros hissed at the Doctor.

"Only through the eyes of a Dalek," the Doctor countered.

"Press all the green buttons except the third form the left," Rose whispered to them as loudly as she dared. 

Everyone did as she said. Although Davros appeared to notice nothing, whether out of arrogance or ignorance the rest of the Daleks were not so easily deceived.

"DE-SIST!" the Daleks shouted at them.

"Don't stop!" Rose told them. "Left lever. Pull it down!" 

The Dalek's began firing. Rose ducked just as a beam blew past her. A hidden keyboard of sorts unfolded from the base of the station. Regular buttons. Not designed to be used by Daleks. They must be meant to be used by Davros alone. 

"First three!" Rose screamed. "Last two!"

More Daleks were firing now. Rose could hear Davros shouting at them to hold fire. But she didn't think they were listening anymore. She continued shouting out instructions, praying that the others could hear her and follow through.

"EXTERMINATE!" 

The dreaded word rang around the room, their deadly beams shooting off everywhere. Sparks flew as they missed their targets and hit the ship. But how many misses before a hit? It only took one.

"The gauge! Pull it up to sixty!" Rose screamed over the noise, staying focused. 

Rose put in the last commands. The station hummed and lit up. But then suddenly the station powered back down. Rose looked around in panic. 

She saw Donna. Donna was down on the ground. No. 

Rose peaked her head up. It was chaos. The Daleks were shooting at everything that moved while Davros was shouting at them to stop. They weren't heading him. But Daleks were meant to follow orders. They were built for it. Without it, it was anarchy. Madness.

Rose took her chances and ran. She could practically feel the heat of the exterminator beams as they blew past her, missing her by inches. One hit and it was all over. 

She fell to her knees next to Donna, hunkering down behind her station to avoid getting hit.

"Donna?" Rose heard the hitch in her own voice. The fear. 

Rose turned Donna over. She had a horrible burn on the left side of her face but she was breathing. She was alive. 

Rose turned to Donna's station. She must have hit a button as she fell. Rose scrambled for a moment, trying to find what was different. When she did, she didn't have time to fix it.

"EXTERMINATE," she heard from right behind her. 

She twirled around. A Dalek stood there, pointing its gun right at her. It was different from the others. It was red instead of the usual dull, metal brown. And all Rose could think about for a moment was that it was the colour of blood. Human blood.

Rose stared at it and it stared at her. But it didn't fire.

"You won't kill me," Rose said. "You still need me."

"WE NEED NO HU-MAN!" the Dalek declared.

"You need me to power you stupid bomb!" Rose shouted at it. "It's what I was made for after all. The Doctor wasn't. I was." 

The Dalek was silent for a long time. "CO-RRECT," it confirmed.

"Thought so," Rose said and twirled back around. 

She hit the buttons as quickly as she could. But immediately she felt agonising pain lash through her shoulder. She faltered, catching herself against the floor. She could smell burnt flesh.

"RI-SE." the Dalek ordered.

"No," Rose ground out between her teeth, struggling for a moment to stay conscious.

"RI-SE OR I WILL KILL THE FE-MALE."

Rose glanced down at Donna where she lay, her face burned, her eyelids closed. Too still. Too quiet. 

Rose couldn't watch anyone else die. She wouldn’t do it.

So Rose struggled to her feet. The room was now under some kind of order. No more Daleks were chaotically shooting at everyone and everything. She saw Sarah Jane, Martha and Jack all held at gunpoint. The Doctor was standing in the middle of the room. surrounded by at least ten Daleks. Guess they weren't taking any more chances.

The Doctor’s eyes met Rose's as she straightened. She gave a slight shake of her head, as to say they'd failed.

 _It's alright,_ she heard softly inside her mind. _It's going to be okay._

 _Liar,_ Rose thought back and got an overwhelming sense of sadness from the Doctor. 

She clutched her shoulder. It hurt to move, it hurt just to breath. The Dalek must have shot her just to wound her and done a very good job of it.

_Are you hurt?_

_I'll live._

"This is mutiny!" Davros was screaming. "I did not create you to defy me!"

"YOU HAVE LOST SIGHT OF THE DALEK CA-USE," the red Dalek behind Rose told Davros.

"The cause is whatever I say it is!" Davros shouted.

"NOT ANY MO-RE." The red Dalek turned to two of the regular ones. 

"TAKE HER DOWN TO BE RE-INSERTED," it ordered them and pushed Rose forwards.

"No!" the Doctor cried out and lunged towards them. 

Immediately he got stopped. The Daleks around him raised their guns. He could get no further. 

Rose turned her eyes to the Doctor. He was shaking his head, a look of fear in his eyes the like of which she'd never seen. It was all still fresh. He still felt what losing her was like. The memory of it might never leave him but he hadn’t yet learned to live with it. Which meant it could still make him fall. 

It hurt Rose beyond words, beyond reason to see him like that. The brilliant Doctor, not afraid of anything. Anything but this. Of watching the suffering of others. Her suffering. The one thing he couldn’t bear. 

"Take me," he asked of the Daleks foolishly, desperately. "Take me not her. Please. Not her. I’ll do anything."

But the Daleks didn’t care for the Doctor’s suffering. They weren’t created for something as human and messy as vengeance. They were bread for war. And in war you just had to win.

"SHE WAS CRE-ATED FOR THIS," the red Dalek said. 

The Doctor just continued to shake his head. 

_I can't. No._ The words held such desperation as they brushed past Rose’s mind that it brought tears to her eyes. She could see his eyes, shifting. Back and forth, his mind fighting for a solution. _Rose, I can't._

 _It will be alright,_ she tried to assure him. 

_Liar,_ he told her. 

"MOVE!" the red Dalek insisted, effectively snapping the strings between Rose's mind and the Doctor's. It brought them both back to the world around them.

The Dalek pushed Rose forwards. Harsh and unforgiving. Like the universe itself it would bend for nothing. 

"Spark-plugs be damned."

Rose twirled around just to see Donna reach up her hand and press the last button on her station. 

Everything lit up. Every single station. All the Daleks spun around. They scrambled for moment, not knowing where to focus. 

The Doctor took immediate advantage of their distraction. He rushed past the circle of Daleks surrounding him. Throwing himself at Davros, he went for the controls on his chariot. Of course that is how they’d reverse the feeds. 

Davros tried to fight him off but the Doctor would not relent. He managed to press a series of buttons before he stumbled back. Immediately the Doctor got the sonic out of his pocket and raised it.

"Hey, Daleks," he called out. They swivelled around. "Goodbye," the Doctor told them and the blue tip of his screwdriver lit up.

Rose wasn't sure how you could tell a Dalek was afraid. It didn't have a face. It couldn't show emotion. But at that moment, when they all turned to the Doctor. In that moment she knew without a shadow of a doubt that they were all scared to death.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·


	24. Bad Wolf Bay

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The Daleks exploded all around them. They screamed as their casings blew, their true forms burning. One next to Rose blew with such force the shockwave knocked her to the floor. She hit her injured shoulder as she landed, groaning in pain.  
She was immediately yanked to her feet. She thought it was the Doctor at first. But it was Jack.

"Time to go!" he screamed over the noise.

She saw the Doctor helping Donna. Martha and Sarah Jane were running towards the TARDIS dodging the Daleks as they blew apart. The Captain and Rose ran after them. Everything was burning. The whole Crucible was going up in flames.

Jack rushed inside the TARDIS just after Martha and Sarah Jane. Rose stopped in the doorway, looking back. The Doctor was running towards her, pulling Donna with him. Suddenly the red Dalek was in front of them.

"IF WE DIE, YOU DIE WITH US, DO-CTOR!" the Dalek vowed.

The Doctor pushed Donna ahead of him. She stumbled past the red Dalek. It paid her little mind. Rose ran forwards and caught Donna. Quickly she helped her to the TARDIS.

Rose spun back around "Doctor!" she called.

The red Dalek was crying out. A shrill painful sound. It was going to blow and it was going to take the Doctor with it. Rose ran towards him, not thinking beyond the need to save him.

"Don't!" the Doctor screamed.

She stopped dead just as the Dalek exploded in a ball of fire. Rose covered her face, the heat of it reaching even her. She lowered her arm, looking around desperately. She didn't see the Doctor.

 _Doctor!_ Rose shouted in panic. She didn’t even realise she wasn’t screaming it out loud. _Doctor!_ There was smoke and fire everywhere. She could see nothing. _Doctor!_

Then he came like a phantom through the dust and flame. At first Rose saw only his shadow on the smoke. That familiar silhouette, his coat billowing out behind him. The smoke parted as though for him alone, curling in subjugation to the force of the last of the Time Lords.

It was moments like these that Rose felt the most apart from him. She had done marvellous things. Brave things. But at the end of the day she was just a shop girl from London.

But the Doctor was a force of nature. A storm wrapt in time and steeped in power she could never understand.  
Some of that power ran through her veins now too but that didn’t mean she understood it. Or could ever hope to.

"Run! Rose, run!" he screamed, but the sound was drowned out as the ship around them exploded in fire. "Run!"

Rose ran, sure he'd be right behind her. She crashed through the TARDIS doors, stumbling up the ramp, smoke following her in.  
Martha was bandaging the burn on the side of Donna's face. Sarah Jane stood to the side, worried eyes and trembling hands.  
Jack was vibrating with energy, looking about ready to rush back out. He took a visible breath of relief at the sight of Rose.

His eyes shifted to the doors behind her. "Where is the Doctor?" he asked.

Rose twirled around. The Doctor wasn't there. He hadn't been right behind her at all. She felt her heart clench painfully inside her chest. She was about to go back out and drag him inside if she had to.

But then the Doctor came stumbling in. He was carrying something big and heavy over his shoulder. A second later Rose realised what it was and her knees buckled. She didn't know how she managed to stay on her feet. Not when all she could do was stare at the Doctor as he carried the body of her dead friend.

The Doctor walked past her, placing Mickey's body gently down to one side. Sliding off his long coat he placed it over him. Rose’s eyes began to blur, the image of the Doctor kneeling next to Mickey swimming before her.

Some part of Rose still thought he would get back up. That Mickey would just laugh and tell her it had all been part of the plan. A horrible ploy but a ploy none the less. But Mickey wasn’t getting up. He was never getting up again.  
Suddenly the Doctor was in front of her. Rose felt it as his hands clasped her wrists, the bond flaring to life.

_Rose_

She looked up. The angles of the Doctor’s face slowly sharpened. The delicate lines and ancient eyes. Ancient and sad.

 _I need you,_ he said. _We have to go and I need you._

Rose nodded. His eyes traced her face. "I'm alright," she assured him "I'm alright."

He nodded, reluctantly letting her go. He hurried over to the console. "Alright, everyone." He began pressing buttons, his fingers swiftly tapping away.

"What are you doing?" Donna asked, sounding a little dazed as she and Martha rose from the floor. Half of Donna’s face was covered in a white bandage wrapped around her head.

"Sending the planets back to where they belong," the Doctor told her. “Without the Crucible to hold them it’s easy as pie.” He pulled a couple of levers. "And I’m taking us away from an exploding Dalek ship before we join it."

"What about Davros?" Sarah Jane asked carefully. "Is he gone for good this time?"

"Yeah, I'd say so," the Doctor replied evenly without taking his eyes of the controls.

"They're all dead?" Martha asked.

The Doctor grabbed the screen and pushed it over so they could see. The picture showed the Crucible exploding. Fire tore it apart. A fire they’d all help start.

"All dead," the Doctor confirmed, his voice tight. "An entire race obliterated and the universe is safe."  
Rose got the feeling that something had happened out there. Something the rest of them didn't know about. If Davros had burned, Rose was sure he’d left making sure he’d hurt the Doctor as much as he possibly could.

The Doctor pulled the screen back, his eyes flickering up to it every now and then. "Oh, what now?!" he exclaimed in frustration.

"What is it?" Jack asked immediately, probably fearing the worst already.

"The Earth, I can't send it back like the others," the Doctor explained. Her ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up. "We're gonna have to tow it," he concluded. Everyone just stared at him.

"Tow it?" Sarah Jane asked incredulously.

"Jack, I'm gonna need to talk to your people," the Doctor said. He pressed a couple of buttons. "Torchwood, Cardiff, come in," he called. The screen flickered and the man and woman that had been with Jack earlier appeared.

"Reading you loud and clear," the woman said, sounding a little surprised.

"Well now, I need you too open up the rift manipulator and send all its power to the TARDIS," the Doctor explained. “ We’ll be hard pressed to find a tow line stronger than that.”

"You don't happen to have Jack about do you?" the woman asked.

"Oh, he's here," the Doctor confirmed. "Can't seem to get rid of him."

Both the man and the woman smiled at this. "Doing it now," the woman said, never thinking to question the Doctor because they wouldn’t question Jack. They trusted him.

"Alright!" The Doctor pressed another set of buttons. "Sarah Jane, what was your son's name?" the Doctor asked her. A big smile spread over Sarah Jane's face.

"Luke," she said. "He's called Luke and the computer's name is Mr. Smith. They can help you with anything."

"Okay, calling Luke and Mr. Smith!"

The picture flickered again and an image of a young boy replaced the one of Torchwood. Sarah Jane came running around to stand next to the Doctor, waving happily at her son. He waved back at her, relief filling his eyes.

"Luke I need you to tell Mr. Smith to loop the energy of the time rift around the TARDIS. Like a tow line," the Doctor explained.

"For this I would need the TARDIS base code," the polite, artificial voice of Mr. Smith came as a reply.

"Oh, the base code," the Doctor moaned, rubbing at his head. "That could take a while."

"I think I know who can help with that!" Sarah Jane exclaimed happily. "K-9," she called.

"Here, Mistress," the robot dog replied over the comm system.

"Give Mr. Smith the base code," she told him.

"Right away, Mistress.” K-9 complied immediately. That wonderful robot dog who’d been with the Doctor and Sarah Jane a long time ago. But he’d been Sarah Jane’s companion these last few years. A gift from the Doctor.

Everyone stood huddled around the screen in the TARDIS, watching as the energy from the rift in Cardiff was looped around the TARDIS. The most powerful ship in the universe and it was going to tow the Earth home.

"Okay, now, everyone!" the Doctor called out. "Those of you who complain about my driving..." The Doctor glanced at Donna and Martha. "This is the reason the TARDIS is always shaking about." He directed Sarah Jane to a spot at the console. "Sarah, if you could hold this down," he told her, pointing at a lever.

"It's because a TARDIS is supposed to be piloted by six people and I have to do it alone." He ran around clasping Martha's hand and pulling her to another section of the console. "Just hold this steady, here," he told her. Martha smiled at him.

"Donna!" the Doctor called as he got to her. "You up for this?" he asked. Donna gave him a smile. Her face muscles pulled at the bandages Martha had placed on her face.

"I'm up for anything me," she said.

The Doctor smiled back at her. "Right over here then, if you please Miss Noble."

Donna took up her position at the console.

"Jack!" the Doctor called. "Steady this, right here." Jack hurried to the section the Doctor indicated.

"Rose!"

Rose hurried around the console to meet him. "Here," Rose said.

The Doctor smiled as he spotted her. They ran up to each other, the Doctor’s eyes getting trapped in hers.

"Rose Tyler," he said, a hint of reverence in the way he said her name.

"Doctor."

They were standing close enough to touch but neither of them took the final step.

"Care to fly the whole of the Earth home with me using a blue police box?" the Doctor asked.

"I thought you'd never ask," she said and she smiled.

She smiled that way of hers that had the power to light up a whole room. Her tongue peaked out between her teeth and her eyes sparked with joy. No one in the whole of the universe smiled like Rose Tyler.

The Doctor led her over to the console. He gave her quick instructions on what to do, thinking he should have taught her years ago. There was so much he should have done. If he’d only had the time.

The Doctor took up his own place next to Rose. "Allons-y!" he called and pulled the lever, sending the TARDIS on a course for home. Home for the humans. Home for Rose.

The TARDIS pulled the Earth on across the stars. For the race that practically invented gravity, towing a planet was nothing.  
The Doctor looked around the room, seeing all his friends with him, flying the TARDIS as she was meant to be flown. They were laughing with the joy of victory. their eyes bright and shining with happiness.

He remembered them telling him that he wasn't alone. And in that moment he could believe it.

He glanced over at Rose next to him. Immediately she turned her head, as though she'd felt his eyes on her. He knew there was pride and wonder in the look he gave her. They'd all been so brave, so magnificent. They'd all done more than he could ever ask, and no one more than her.

She was the light to the darkness. The darkness that sometimes he couldn’t fight. Her memory would be his light to, he told himself. It would be enough. It had to be.

The TARDIS gave a shake, reminding him of the present. The moments that were so precious right now because they couldn’t last.

The Doctor looked at the screen. He watched as the blue planet, he’d come to to care for like a second home slid back into place. Back to were it belonged.

The room erupted with joy and the Doctor was swept up in it. Everyone laughed with their success. Hugging each other because they’d done it again. They’d saved the whole universe when they’d been so close to losing it all. Including their lives. But they were all here. All but one.

The Doctor glanced at Rose. Though everyone else was overjoyed there was a sadness to the tilt of her head. The Doctor reached out and clasped her hand. Rose squeezed his in turn. He gave her a small smile and she smiled back. He wanted to hold her. He wanted to hug her and spin her around until she laughed. But he didn’t dare. So reluctantly he pulled his hand out of hers.

It was time to get their friends home.

The Doctor set the TARDIS down in a nice little park at the centre of London. Everyone filed out excitedly. Rose looked up at the familiar blue sky, seeing the sun once again shining bright. Everything was back to normal. She couldn’t quite believe it. They’d done it. Together. All of them. And if that wasn’t proof that the Doctor was a force for good she didn’t know what was. He was the one who had proved to all of them how amazing they could be.

Sarah Jane came up to the Doctor. "Thank you," she said, smiling with her whole face. The Doctor smiled back and gave her a hug. But she quickly pulled away. "I have to go!' she exclaimed. "He's only fourteen!" She hurried off, eager to see her son. She turned back, still smiling. "It's a long story," she said, before anyone had a chance to really ask. She waved goodbye.

Martha looked a little unsure as she faced Rose. They’d never really gotten to know each other. “I’m really sorry,” she said. “About Mickey. He was... a good man. Great even. He saved my life. Twice.”

Rose nodded. “Thanks,” she said, a smile ghosting past her lips.

"Well, you two," Jack said. "Keep out of trouble and don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Rose broke into a surprised little laugh, stifling it with the sleeve of her jumper. "That doesn't exclude much.”

Jack smiled at them and straightened. He gave a proper salute and Martha followed suit. The Doctor and Rose both responded with a discreet two fingered one. 

Jack turned to Donna. "It's been a pleasure Miss Noble," he said.

"I wouldn't mind a salute," Donna said. Jack smiled and gladly gave her one. "I could get used to this," Donna remarked.

"Any time," Jack said and winked.

"Oh, stop it," the Doctor told Jack.

"You, don't get to say that anymore," Jack told him, pointing a finger at him. "Not with the way you two keep looking at each other." Jack indicated the Doctor and Rose. “Like you can’t wait to tear each other’s clothes off.”

"Ahem." The Doctor cleared his throat awkwardly, rubbing at his neck.

"You're just jealous," Rose told Jack with a smile.

"Too true," Jack admitted. He smiled at both of them and clasped Martha's hand.

"Bye." Martha gave them a little wave as Jack turned away and pulled her along.

The Doctor, Donna and Rose watched them go. For a moment there was this strange sort of gap between Martha and Jack as though a third person was supposed to fit there. Then Jack turned around, locking eyes with the Doctor.

"I know that look by the way," he called back. "You are going to do something stupid. Don't do it," he said and walked off with Martha, telling her something about the benefits of working at Torchwood instead of Unit.

"I should be going too," Donna said.

"Are you going to be okay?" Rose asked her, indicating her bandaged face.

"Oh, hang on, I got something for that," the Doctor said and disappeared inside the TARDIS.

He came back moments later, a small jar in his hand. He handed it to Donna. "Here," he said. "Once in the morning and once in the evening for a week." Donna took the jar from him and unscrewed the lid. She sniffed the yellowish salve and sneezed. "Careful, it's strong stuff," the Doctor told her.

"Uhu," Donna agreed, screwing the lid back on.

"But trust me, you wont even have a scar," he ensured her.

"Thanks." She gave the Doctor a smile. "Well I best be off. Me mum and me grandad must be going mental," she said.

"Can you make your way from here?" Rose asked. "I'm sure we can...-"

"No," Donna interrupted her. "With his driving I'll never get there," she said, nodding hear head towards the Doctor.

"Oi," the Doctor noted, affronted.

Donna gave Rose a hug. "You gonna be alright?" she asked her.

Rose nodded. "Always," she said. They pulled apart.

"Well you two," Donna said to the Doctor and Rose. "Like Jack said, do everything I wouldn't do."

Both Rose and the Doctor smiled at her before Donna turned and walked away, fishing her mobile out of her pocket as she went.

Rose leaned closer to the Doctor. "What did Jack mean?" she asked.

The Doctor unfolded his arms that he'd crossed over his chest. "Nothing," he said. "Come on."

He fought the urge to take Rose’s hand. If he touched her now he might never be able to let her go.

Rose followed the Doctor into the TARDIS.

"One last trip," he said and flipped a switch on the console, bringing the TARDIS to life. Rose looked around the room. That familiar, wonderful room and got the strangest feeling that this might be the last time she saw it.

"One last trip," she said, echoing the Doctor's words back to him.

"Yep," he confirmed, his eyes on the controls, not looking at her.

"Doctor, what are you doing?" Rose asked.

It took a long time for him to answer. "I'm taking you both home," he finally said. His voice was heavy and sad. "The walls between universes are closing again. We don't have much time."

"Both of us," Rose said. It wasn't quite a question.

"I've sent a message ahead. Your family should be waiting for you."

"Waiting for me," she said, realising she was simply repeating whatever he said. Probably in some daft attempt to get him to grasp just what it was he was saying.

"Yes."

The TARDIS shook and Rose clasped the railing next her. She stared at the Doctor, her gaze intent. But the Doctor refused to look at her.

"You are leaving me behind again," she said. "Aren't you?"

The Doctor stopped what he was doing, clasping the edge of the console. He squeezed the metal between his hands so hard Rose suspected he thought he could actually bend it.

"I'm not leaving you," he said. "I would never leave you. I can't leave you."

"Then what are you doing?" Rose asked him.

Again it took a while before he answered. "I'm taking you to your family. I'm keeping my promises to your mother. I am getting the body of your dead friend home so he can be buried properly." The Doctor's words were strained and hard, like it took him great effort to speak them. His head fell forwards, clearly he'd lost the strength to hold it up.

"This is what Jack was talking about isn't it?" Rose asked, a hint of anger creeping into her voice. "This is the stupid thing you planned on doing."

The Doctor pushed away from the console roughly. He straightened, glaring at her. "I'm trying to do the right thing," he said.

"The right thing?"

"Yes!"

"Bullshit!"

The Doctor looked taken aback for a moment, her harsh tone catching him off guard. "What then, Rose?" he asked her. "Do you want to stay with me? Is that what you want?" He took a step towards her. "It will be forever this time. You will never be able to see your mother again or your brother or Pete."

"I thought you said we couldn’t be apart anyway,” Rose pointed out. “So what does it matter?"

"I said I didn’t know," the Doctor refuted. "That I couldn't risk it."

"And now suddenly you can?" Rose asked back in disbelief.

"It beats the alternative."

"The alternative?" Rose took a step back. "What, being stuck with me?"

"What? No!" The Doctor ran his fingers frustratingly through his hair. "Facing your hatred everyday. Living with it."

“I don’t hate you,” Rose told him. “I forgive you for what you did. You know I do. I showed you I’m not afraid anymore.”

“Well, perhaps you should be!” he threw out.

“Stop trying to push me away. Not when we’ve come this far.”

“Far? Rose, if you don’t hate me now you will. I’ll be taking you away from the people you love.”

“I love you!”

“Do you?” the Doctor asked. “Enough? Do you think you love me enough, Rose?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“You’ll lose everything. Everyone. I am trying to save us both a lot of pain.”

“Are you? Because I don’t recall you asking me,” Rose spat. “Do you care, Doctor? Do you care at all what I want?”

"Fine," the Doctor said, leaning back against the console and folding his arms across his chest. "Tell me then, Rose. Tell me what you want."

Rose growled in frustration, running her fingers through her blonde hair to get it out of her face. "I want..." she began but fell silent. "I want Mickey back. I want to be able to see my family whenever I want." Rose didn't even notice as tears began running down her face. "I want you to not have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders for just one day. I want...-"

Suddenly the Doctor was in front of her. He reached out his hands towards her face as though he meant to dry her tears. Halfway there he stopped. Instead he let his hands drop. Rose looked up at him. She couldn’t read the emotions chasing each other across his face.

"I wish I could give you all those things," the Doctor said. "You don't know how much I wish I could. But I can't, Rose." He shook his head and turned away from her.

"So you're going to drop me off at a parallel universe and just hope for the best?"

"You'll have your family,” he said calmly. “Your world. I am not enough for you. One day you’ll realise that too. "

"Oh I see, so that's what we're doing now then is it?" Rose asked him angrily. "Wallowing in self-pity?"

"This is not self-pity!" the Doctor cried out hopelessly as he twirled back towards her. "I'm...-" He got interrupted as there was a knock on the door.

"Rose?" They heard Jackie's voice, accompanied by another knock. "Rose, are you in there?"

"Are we here already?" Rose asked.

The Doctor didn't answer. He simply gave her a nod. Rose turned away from him, moving towards the doors. She pulled one opened and there was her mum. Her mum, alive and wonderful and standing right in front of her. Rose hadn't realised how much she missed her until that moment.

"Rose, what's wrong?" Jackie asked, and Rose realised there were still streaks of tears down her cheeks.

Rose threw herself into her mother's arms. There were few things in the world that could measure up to a hug from her mum.  
Jackie rocked Rose back and forth, brushing her hand soothingly up and down her back. "It's okay, sweetheart," she tried to assure her. "It's okay."

Rose hugged her mother as though it had been years since she'd seen her. Because that is exactly what it felt like. Rose looked up and saw Pete, standing by his jeep on the beach. She recognised the beach immediately. Dårlig Ulv Stranden. Bad Wolf Bay. It would be here, Rose thought. If he was going to leave her again, it would be here. Rose forced herself to let her mother go. 

The wind caught a hold of Rose's hair, blowing it across her face. Jackie brushed it away. "What happened, sweetheart?" she asked.

Rose felt her throat closing off. How did she even begin to tell her. How did she... "Mickey," Rose said.

"What about him? Jackie asked.

"Mickey, he's..." Rose struggled to form the words. "Mickey's..." Fresh tears began running down her face. Oh my god, she thought. How could she ever form the words.

Then the Doctor appeared behind her, carrying Mickey's body over his shoulder. "Mickey's dead," the Doctor told Jackie, walking past the two women.

Jackie simply stared after him as he walked over to Pete and the jeep. The two of them exchanged a few words and than Pete helped the Doctor get Mickey's body inside the car.

Jackie turned back to Rose, disbelief on her face. Rose nodded, unable to stop her tears. Tears for Mickey and tears for everything that had happened. Tears for what was still to come.

"He's gone, mum," she cried. "Mickey's gone."

Jackie's face twisted in sorrow and tears spilled over and down her own cheeks. They hugged each other again, desperate for the support.

"I'm sorry," Rose heard the Doctor's voice next to them. "I have to go." Rose reluctantly pulled free from her mother.

"Well, goodbye then, Doctor," Jackie said, her voice a touch unkind as she brushed tears away.

"He died a hero," the Doctor said. "He died saving the world."

"Thank you, Doctor.” Though the words in and of themselves were kind Jackie’s tone was not.

She’d blame him, Rose thought. Jackie had never quite understood why Rose went with the Doctor in the first place. All she saw was the danger. And no matter how many times the Doctor might have assured he’d keep Rose safe that danger had just become a reality.

"I'm sorry," the Doctor said again and disappeared inside the TARDIS.

"Come on Rose, let's go home," Jackie said hopefully.

Rose took a step back, away from her mother. "Mum, I can't," Rose said sadly.

Jackie shook her head, her eyes on the sand at her feet. "I thought you might not," she said. "Will you ever be able to come back and see us though?" Jackie asked. Rose shook her head, unable to say the words out loud. “You now it’s dangerous,” Jackie pointed out. “This thing with you and the Doctor. It’s not natural the way you are with each other.”

“Maybe not,” Rose allowed. “But if I leave him I’ll break. He’ll break. Even if he doesn’t want to admit it.”

The sadness on Jackie’s face was palpable.

Rose snivelled, fighting to collect herself. “Besides, you don’t need me anymore,” she pointed out. “You’ve got Pete and Tony."

"Don't think that anyone could ever replace you, Rose," Jackie said, tears getting caught in her throat. "You’re my daughter. Your home is with your family."

Rose reached out her hand to her mother. "Everyone leaves home in the end," Rose said.

After a long while Jackie nodded. "Go then," she said. "Go, before I lock you in the bloody car."

Rose leaned down and kissed her mother's cheek. "Bye mum. I love you." she said and somehow managed to turn around.

A part of her had expected the TARDIS to be gone but it was still there. So it seemed the Doctor had decided to finally let Rose make her own choices instead of making them for her.

Rose opened the TARDIS door and stepped inside. The Doctor looked up from the console. He swallowed hard.

"You're sure then?" he asked.

Rose nodded. "I'm sure," she said

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·


	25. A million stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Rose have made their choices and this is how it ends.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Rose took one step forwards and then another. She watched the Doctor as he brought the Tardis to life. The green glow of the time rotor pulsed in time with her heart as though the Tardis was somehow in tuned with the beats. 

I’m sure.

Rose took another step. The sound of the engines filled the room. With every rise and fall Rose left pieces of herself behind. A piece with Mickey, the boy she'd loved. A piece with her mother, with her baby brother and even Pete. Who had only had a couple of years to try and be her father.

Another step.

"What do you say, Rose?" the Doctor asked. His tone was light, almost cheerful. "New Years on Bakuu? Did you know the planet takes a thousand years to make its trip around its sun? The celebrations are amazing. Whole cites full of light." He danced around the console, flipping switches as he went. "Or something closer to home perhaps?" he said thoughtlessly. Like she hadn't just left her home when she'd left her family. "San Fransisco? RThe roaring twenties?"

Rose tried to take another step. She could do it. One more. And then another. Before she knew it she could be running. Things didn't seem quite so bad when you were running.

But her feet wouldn't move. She just stood there while the Doctor prattled on. She watched him with a strange sort of detachment. Like he was an actor in a play she wasn't a part of.

She wanted to think he was trying to distract her out of kindness. But some dark part of her heart that could still hold doubt feared he just didn't want to pick up the pieces. After all, the Doctor never stayed for the clean up. He soared off in his magical blue box. Always forwards. Never stopping.

Rose did want to follow him. Run with him across the stars. Never looking back at the pieces she'd left behind. But this time she couldn't.

"Doctor..." His name fell of her lips on an exhale, leaving her like it was caught on a breeze. Carried away.

The Doctor stopped. She watched him go unnaturally still. One heartbeat passed. Two. He raised his head, his dark eyes finding hers. She thought she'd find sympathy in their depths. Or concern. Anything.

The Doctor could be aloof but he was never cold hearted. He had never hesitated to pull her in for hug when she'd needed it. Never failed to catch her if she fell.

But is face was impassive, his eyes held no comfort. Perhaps he was frightened. Perhaps it was something else.

The thought made Rose's knees lock in, like she didn't dare to take the risk that she might falter and he wouldn't be there.

"I need you,” she said, her voice hesitant, not know knowing how much she dared ask of him. The Doctor was used to running. Did he even now how to stop anymore? How to stay?

He looked torn and a little frightened. But Rose didn’t now why.

She knew that he understood loss. Better than anyone because few had lost as much as he. But then how could she ask him to help bear hers to? Would it be too much?

Rose tried to take that next step. If only she managed that she knew she'd be alright. One more step and by the next one she'd be running with him. He wouldn’t have to carry her. He should never have to carry her. 

But she never took that step. Never managed to get her foot to move before her knees folded. Despite her determination not to let them.

She was falling. She expected the hard, grated floor to meet her. Only it didn't. Whatever strings had held the Doctor back. Whatever thought or emotion that had kept him frozen to the spot snapped. He rushed around the console, catching Rose before she hit the floor.

He sank down with her, cradling her as though she was the most precious, fragile thing he knew. He didn’t used to do that, Rose thought. He’d treated her with care but never as though he feared she’d break. 

"You shouldn’t have to catch me," Rose said, her voice barely a whisper.

"I will always catch you," he said without looking at her. _Always._

Why wouldn’t he look at her?

"I'm sorry," he said. "Tell me how to make this better, Rose.” He clenched his jaw before he finally raised his gaze. "Anything you want of me I'll give it."

Rose looked at him, her eyes painfully dry. She had an absent thought that she should be crying. Surely one did when they'd lost so much in a single day?

"Can you tell me my mum won't hate me," Rose blurted out. A strange request and one she could not expect him to meet. 

But the Doctor's eyes softened almost immediately. They turned from something burnt to something melted. Heat without pain. 

"She does not hate you, Rose," he said and he sounded so sure it gave her pause.

"I left her," Rose reminded him. "I left all the comfort and security she fought to give me for a love she thinks will destroy me."

At that she saw the Doctor flinch and she regretted the words. She had not meant to hurt him. His eyes fluttered shut. He absorbed the blow. Accepted the implication as his to bear.

Rose opened her mouth to take it back. This they both carried. It wasn’t his alone. But he started speaking before she got the chance.

"You know she knew long before I did," he said. "How I felt about you. What it would mean if we let it." He forced his eyes back opened. They were soft, like looking at her brought him some measure of peace."I think that's why she was cross with me most of the time. She knew I'd end up taking you away."

"You didn’t take anything," Rose said. “It was given.” 

"I know, Rose.” He held her a little tighter as though her words had given him leave. A confirmation he might have known but still needed to hear. 

“What I am trying to say is that she could have stopped you,” he said. “Or tried at least. But she didn't. Because she understood. Probably better than anyone. She chose to leave everything behind for someone she... loved too," he finished, his gaze dropping from hers. He still struggled with the word. Even now.

"Thank you," Rose said and meaning it. 

There were times, glimpses when she had felt like Jackie and the Doctor had had some kind of strange understanding of each other. Some kind of mutual respect even if they didn't get along. Which is why she took his words to heart. 

Rose reached up and brushed a lonely strand of hair away from the Doctor’s forehead. She let her hand trail down the side of his face. The bond flared at the contact and the Doctor sighed with it, leaning his head into her hand. Rose could feel a hint of it from him. What this meant to him. How her touch was ecstasy. How feeling her mind was rapture.

"Will we be alright?" Rose asked. Finally one lonely tear fell from her eye. One for all that she’d lost. But for what she’d gained as well. 

As she’d told her mother. Everyone left home in the end and Rose had always known she’d leave with the Doctor. 

The Doctor's eyes found hers then. The dark brown of them burned with that inner fire. Lit by conviction. Lit by truth. He knew too. 

He parted his lips, ever so slightly. Words began spilling out. Soft ones that she recognised but did not know. It was the words he'd spoken before. Words he'd dismissed as nothing, but had sounded like anything but. Gallifreyan words.

He turned his head and kissed her palm, her hand still at his cheek. She could feel the imprint of his lips like a seal.

“I still don’t know what that means,” Rose said. 

“I didn’t used to either,” the Doctor said. “They’re old words even by my people’s standards. Words that hold a scope I couldn’t begin to imagine. Until I met you.”

“Will you ever tell me what they mean?” Rose asked. 

He took a breath before he answered. Because answer her he would. He’d promised her he’d do anything. 

“I love you,” he said. “They mean, I love you.” 

At that Rose felt warmth spread throughout her entire body. She wasn’t sure if the words alone had brought it on or if the bond itself had responded to the declaration. But she was sure she’d never tire of hearing them. Not when she’d waited so long.

“Except your pitiful excuse of a language can’t even begin to explain the breadth of their meaning,” the Doctor continued, sounding genuinely frustrated. 

His eyes went to the ceiling for a moment, searching for some inspiration. Some way to explain what it was clear was important that she understood. 

His gaze fell back to hers. “It doesn’t simply mean that I love you,” he said and Rose saw him struggle to find words where they had never failed him before. “It means I love you beyond the very fabric of time,” he explained. “Beyond the concept of life or matter. We could watch a million stars burn out through millennia and it would not dim with them.”

He reached up and caught her hand, twining his fingers with hers. She felt a rush of his emotions. It filled her until she thought she might burst. 

“They are vows Rose,” he said. “Vows far more ancient than I am.”

Rose took a trembling breath, feeling as thought the power of his words is what had stolen it. 

“You own all that I am. All I ever was or ever will be,” the Doctor said. “Do you understand?“ 

Rose nodded slowly. She thought she did. But perhaps she’d only begun to understand. Only glimpsed the tip of the flame of the inferno burning underneath. 

Her eyes searched his for a moment. Then she rose up, his lips meeting hers before the thought was even complete. The bond exploded inside Rose’s mind. She let it burn, wild and free. 

She did not possess his beautiful words. Instead she tried to show him. Show him that she was equally bound. Equally fierce in her conviction that what tied them together was ancient and forever. 

The Doctor clutched Rose to him, gradually losing that careful way he’d touched her. Need taking over. The need to be closer, the need to let the fire consume them. 

The bond wound and bound. Strings of gold and starlight, stronger than the blackest iron. It tied their minds and stole their breaths. 

It made them both gasp with every touch. Each step another knot tied. 

The Doctor’s hands were around Rose’s waist and then they were in her hair. His lips could not leave hers long enough for her to catch her breath. His skin could not touch enough of hers to satisfy. 

Their need increased with every caress, every passionate gasp. It was a drumming in their blood, their hearts beating with it. It consumed their senses. Burned out grief and reason and fear. Which is why Rose was so shocked when the Doctor suddenly stopped. 

Rose blinked, like her eyes needed a moment to focus. Sight having been forgotten when there were senses that had far surpassed it. 

The Doctor’s face slowly sharpened before her. He was smiling. She had not quite expected him to and the surprise made her smile back. 

“I’m sure we can do this better this time,” he said. 

And Rose felt confused, her mind still scrambled. He got up, pulling her up with him. Rose swayed a little on her feet. Her body was still buzzing, her mind still twined with the Doctor’s. Which is how she finally realised what he meant. 

They could do it better. Not in a dark place avoid of time. In the throws of desperation and fear. When her life had hung in the balance. 

The Doctor held her hand as he grinned at her. Rose grinned back. 

Yeah, they’d be alright, Rose thought. They had all of time and space to figure it out. To run and love and heal. It was all there. Just beyond the next step. And finally Rose could take it. Together there was nothing they couldn’t do.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This marks the end of part one! Yay. 
> 
> I just want to thank everyone who has read this, left comments and kudos. I loove you so much I can’t begin to explain it. You are amazing! 
> 
> This story has three parts in total. The first chapter of part two will be up either on Thursday if I’m impatient or next week :) I really hope you will want to continue reading to find out how this all goes. There is soo much I want to tell you <3
> 
> So what did you think of this first part? Any thoughts?


	26. Gravity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Rose head out for a night of champagne and dancing. But if they’re not careful their nightmares will become a reality.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·  
\- PART TWO -  
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Rose's heals made a pleasant tip-tap sound against the floor as she made her way through the TARDIS. The dress she wore whisked about her legs as she walked. Satin and chiffon, light as gossamer.

She picked up her pace, cool air brushing past her bare arms. The short sleeves and most of the back of the dress was made of delicate gold lace. Woven in a pattern so fine and intricate she wondered at it being manmade. The lace was beaded with tiny sparkling gems that caught the light as she moved. The whole dress had an antique feel to it. Old, exquisite and expensive.

She’d chosen it for two reasons. One was that it was probably the most beautiful dress she’d ever worn. And two, the hem was longer in the back but shorter in the front. Which Rose, figured made the dress ideal for running. The thought made her smile as she hurried up the steps and into the console room. 

She turned her head in search of the Doctor. The countless hairpins she'd used to arrange her hair made her head feel heavy as she moved.

Rose found him standing, leaning his hip against the console. He was fiddling with something he was holding in his hand. Dressed in his black tux he’d even donned black chucks for the occasion. But he’d kept his hair a gravity defying mess, making him look young and wild. An unruly boy dressed up in his fathers finery.

The Doctor looked over as Rose entered the room. His whole face lit up as he saw her. Straightening he tossed whatever it was he'd held behind him. Couldn't have been anything overly important then, Rose thought. 

He straightened his jacket and brushed his fingers carefully through his hair. Rose walked over to him. She smiled and straightened his bowtie.

"You look..." he began, his voice filled with awe. The look he gave her sent any similarities to a boy flying out the window. "Beautiful," he finished. "You look so beautiful. Rose, I can't even..."

"You don't look too bad yourself," she interrupted his stuttering. 

He glanced down. But his eyes quickly returned to hers. "I changed my suit," he said, grinning at her.

Rose's smile widened. "Yeah, I noticed." 

The grin slipped from the Doctor's face a she watched her. His eyes ran over the planes of Rose’s face and the painstakingly created curls of her hair. He mumbled something she did not catch.

"What?" Rose asked, her hands still at his bowtie.

"Gravity," the Doctor repeated. "You're like gravity."

"Uhm... not sure if that's a compliment," Rose said, scrunching up her nose. 

The Doctor reached out his hand and ran his knuckles lightly across her cheek. Every molecule in her body gave off a sudden spark. 

“It’s not,” the Doctor said. “It’s a fact. Like the point of a spacetime singularity.” His voice had dropped to a thoughtful mummer as though he considered an applicable comparison. A scientific fact to match what he was feeling.

Rose just wanted to lean into his touch. Let the sensations heating her blood take over. When it came to this she had no use of scientific facts. No need to understand it beyond what she felt. At least that is what she thought. 

Taking a step back Rose watched the Doctor's hand fall. "Was there a reason we got all dressed up then?" Rose reminded him, her voice a little breathless.

"Right," the Doctor exclaimed. "Right!" 

As he spun away from her Rose could practically feel the strings tying them together resisting. It was like pulling free of a forcefield. Like fighting gravity.

The Doctor left her, forcing his feat to move. He ran around the console, flipping switches. The TARDIS’s engines hummed to life. 

The Doctor had come to find Rose earlier and asked her if she’d be interested in going to a party. A New Years eve party. Fireworks and dancing. He actually hadn't mentioned anything about dancing but Rose was sure she could coax him into it. She had succeded on a previous occastion after all. 

So she had said, yes. After all she could use a bit of fun. They both could. She hadn’t had an easy time of it. Grieving the losses she’d suffered. Coming to terms with the realities she now faced. 

The Doctor had tried to help as best he could. But he was used to running when things got bad. And Rose hadn’t wanted to run. Mickey had mattered. Leaving her mother had mattered. She hadn’t wanted to just run until she forgot the pain. Until she forgot them. 

"Temporal shift stabiliser!" the Doctor called to her. 

Rose kicked of her shoes. Smiling, she hurried over to the console, pulling the lever for the stabilisers. One of the Doctor’s better ideas had been trying to teach her how to fly the TARDIS. 

The Doctor smiled at her from the other side of the console. "I really should have taught you this ages ago," he said.

"Things got in the way," Rose reminded him. "Nurse- cat- things and werewolf's and devils."

"And we beat them all!" the Doctor declared, flipping a switch with a theatrical flourish. Rose laughed at him as he came running over to her side.

"Your turn to steer," he said and gave her a nudge with his shoulder. 

Rose ran around the console and took the position he'd just held. Steering the TARDIS was far from easy. Rose had a whole new understanding for why traveling in it was always such a bumpy ride.

Since the fall of the Dalek Crucible. when they’d all been together flying the ship as it was meant to be flown, it had become even more apparent. 

Sometimes Rose wondered what they were all doing now. The friends who had stood by them. She hoped they were infinitely happy.

Rose grabbed a hold of the console as the ship hurled through space. The Doctor had lined up the target. All Rose needed to do was aim. But it was easier said than done. 

"Put her down!" the Doctor yelled at Rose while holding on for dear life.

"I'm no good at landing! You know that!" Rose yelled back at him.

"Just don't crash us in the Cretaceous period again!" the Doctor told her. 

Rose clung to the console as she fought to land the ship. Without crash- landing amongst dinosaurs that wanted to eat them this time. 

There was a jolt as they hit the ground. But both Rose and the Doctor managed to stay on their feet. Rose pulled the monitor over so she could check where they were. The Doctor was standing with his eyes squeezed firmly shut. 

"Okay, tell me. Where are we?" he asked. "Are there things that want to eat us?"

"Mmm, planet Dakuu," Rose said. "51st century...New Years Eve... 9 pm?" 

The Doctor hurried over to her side. He looked at the screen. "Well, would you look at that!" he exclaimed with delight. He turned to her. "You are brilliant you are," he said, smiling broadly.

"Aren't I though," Rose agreed, giving him that tongue in cheek smile of hers.

"Allons-y." 

The Doctor gave her a wink before he rushed over to the doors. Rose got her shoes. She strapped them on and hurried over to him. The Doctor held out his hand for her.

"Rose Tyler, would you care to accompany me to the grandest party of the millennia?" 

The smile he gave her was charmingly crooked. Rose took his hand and felt the pleasant tingle run over her skin at the contact.

"I don’t know,” Rose teased. “Will there be dancing?” 

He pulled her a step closer. “Whatever you want,” the Doctor said. 

“You promise?” 

Without answering he pulled her with him out of the TARDIS. Rose laughed as she went with him.

She'd managed to land them in an alley. They’d knocked over a couple of bins but other than that she’d parked pretty well, if she did say so herself.

“Not bad.” The Doctor nodded at the TARDIS and Rose felt giddy with the praise. They hurried out of the alley, eager to feel new ground beneath their feet, the excitement of a new sky. 

"Well, if this isn't a party, Rose, I don't know what is," the Doctor said as they emerged into an ocean of light. 

A large square spread out before them, wide and paved with white stone. It was flooded with lights. Bright glowing orbs that seemed to float on the air. Like someone had brought the stars down from the skies just for the night.

Built in the style of an amphitheatre the square felt like one great stage. And what a play it was.

Several people sported dresses and gowns that sparkled all on their own. Other’s, like the Doctor wore tuxedos black as the darkest coal. Silk scarfs and velvet. And there weren’t only humans either. There were people with skin the colour of moss or blue like the ocean, some with tails and others with horns like rams or eyes that looked like entire galaxies were contained within them.

The glittering spires of the city reached for the dark skies above them and Rose thought she heard the sound of thunder in the distance. 

Then something caught her eye, drawing her attention. "Was that...?" she trailed off. One minute it had been there and the next it had been gone.

"What?" the Doctor asked her.

"I dunno," Rose said. "I could have sworn I saw an Ood."

"An Ood?"

"Yeah, but you said you freed them all, right? They're no longer slaves?"

“Thought I did.”

Apparently one day when Rose had been snuggled up with a cuppa and a good book the Doctor had gone off gallivanting about the place and had ended up on the Ood’s home world.

He’d told Rose he'd freed them. Finally being able to repay in some small measure his failure to save the others. Those Ood who had been lost to the Beast on that impossible planet. 

Rose had a feeling it had been a close call though. He had been sad when he came back. Like something had happened that lingered with him. Something he couldn’t quite shake. But when he’d dismissed Rose’s concerns she had not pressed. Perhaps she should have. 

"You sure it was an Ood?" the Doctor asked, his tone a bit strange. 

Rose shook her shoulders. Maybe she'd been mistaken. Because why would an Ood be on Dakuu?

"I probably saw something else," Rose said with a shrug, eager to get back to the cheerful mood of a few minutes ago. That’s why she didn't notice the frown on the Doctor's forehead. His eyes searched the crowds for a moment. "Well, then," Rose said excitedly. "New millennium. Time to start celebrating."

"Suppose you're right," the Doctor agreed distractedly.

"Oh, come on," Rose said, linking her arm through his and pulling him with her into the crowds. 

"Do you have a destination in mind at all?" the Doctor wondered as they navigated through the revellers. 

Everyone around them were laughing, chatting and shining. It was like they had been dropped straight into a giant jewellery box. Everything shone and sparkled. Glittered and gleamed.

"I do," Rose confirmed. She nearly bumped into someone who took a stumbling step back to avoid a collision. “I’m sorry,” Rose said. 

“I’m not.” 

Rose looked up to find a man with hair pale like moonlight and cheekbones too sharp to be human. 

She gave him a smile. When Rose was happy she spread it around, like starlight in her wake.

“Rare is the beauty to rival the wonders of this night,” he said, his gaze roving over Rose. 

She felt the Doctor tense up next to her but Rose only laughed. Nothing could dampen her mood tonight. 

The man leaned towards Rose and the Doctor took a step forwards, intercepting him. 

“Rare indeed,” the Doctor agreed, his eyes sharp. 

The stranger's attention left Rose and focused on the Doctor, looking ready to meet the challenge. Eager even, like he’d been itching for some excitement. But he paused. His gaze flickered between them. For a moment his brows drew together in concentration.

“Rare and also... bound,” he said with disbelief. But the disbelief quickly turned to interest. “How interesting. Those ways were lost even to the higher species long before they fell.” 

He studied both the Doctor and Rose. The way his eyes roamed over them reminded Rose of Annabelle Conn. Watching her like a puzzle that had to be solved.

“What creatures might you be that could still perform such a feet?” he wondered, tilting his head a little to the side as he considered them. 

The Doctor’s hand tightened around Rose’s.

“It’s no concern of yours,” the Doctor warned. “Trust me,” 

“Trust,” the stranger mused. “Trust requires something in return.” He smiled. “A name perhaps?” 

The Doctor’s eyes narrowed. “Names have power,” the Doctor said. “Why would I grant you that, Skydiver?” 

The stranger looked surprised. “Appears I am at a disadvantage.” His gaze flickered over to Rose as though he might somehow have more luck learning her secrets. 

The Doctor shifted Rose behind him, the action smooth, simple. 

“I suggest you move along,” the Doctor said, his lips turning up in a slow smile. But his voice dropped, giving his words a dark edge and his smile one of promise. The kind of promises you'd never want anyone to keep. “There is nothing of interest to learn from us.” 

A moment passed and then the stranger smiled. “So there isn’t,” he agreed. He took a step back. “My apologies.” He sketched a bow before vanishing into the crowds. 

The Doctor watched the space where he disappeared, looking none to pleased. “Skydivers,” the Doctor muttered. “Can’t trust those wiley....” 

“What was that?” Rose interrupted him.

He turned his attention to her. “They’re wily,” he said, looking down at her. Something he saw made him smile in despite of himself. 

“Is that so?” Rose asked, smiling back. 

“Extremely,” the Doctor confirmed. “They used to be empaths. Great ones actually. Which is why I assume he could tell...” He cleared his throat. “... about us. Anyway they all went and decided to use their gifts for-“

“Evil?” Rose cut in. 

“Profit,” the Doctor corrected. 

“Same thing.” Rose shrugged before she drew him along. They'd been held up for too long and Rose was on a mission. 

“You know, I knew that dress was going to get me into trouble,” the Doctor was saying as he followed her. 

“Only you?” Rose asked back. 

“Well, I’m the one that’s going to lose my head over it,” the Doctor pointed out and Rose smiled at him over her shoulder. 

She stopped then, the Doctor following suit. Rose turned to him, ceasing his hand and placing it at her waist. She felt his hand tightening on instinct. 

“What are you doing?” the Doctor asked as Rose put her hand on his shoulder. 

“Well,” she said, taking his other hand in hers. “You promised me a dance.”

The Doctor looked around. Realisation dawned on his face. They were standing in the middle of a crowd of people. All of them dancing. Everyone but him and Rose. Music played from somewhere, the melody somehow familiar and foreign all at the same time. 

“Technically I never promised,” the Doctor pointed out, hesitation in the curve of his lips. 

"The world does not end because the Doctor dances," Rose teased him with a smile that grew slowly until it lit up her eyes with a light he could never deny.

"Well, I suppose it didn't last time," the Doctor allowed reluctantly. “Even though it was a fairly close call to be honest.” 

"You do remember how to do this, yeah?" Rose asked. 

The Doctor finally smiled. "Let's find out.”

The Doctor pulled Rose one step closer and then they were dancing. Effortlessly he threw them into the swirl of the other couples. He twirled her and Rose laughed, the satin of Rose’s dress spinning about her legs. The gold lace sparked off the lights overhead. The dress wasn’t made for running it was made for dancing.

"Not too bad, eh?" The Doctor smiled as he spun Rose back to him. 

Rose laughed. "Not bad at all," she agreed. 

She let him spin her around, enjoying every blissful second of it. It was rare for them. Being caught up in an ordinary moment. A moment where they were just two people dancing. No the last of the Time Lords or a human girl plucked out of time. Not the Bad Wolf. Just the Doctor and Rose Tyler. The easiest, most wonderful thing in the world. So of course it couldn't last.

The music abruptly ended. Angry calls and surprised screams filled the square. The Doctor pulled Rose to a sudden halt. Both of them twirled around looking for the source of the commotion. On the other side of the square she could see a troupe of Judoon. 

They fanned out. Some moved to block exists while others began searching the crowds. 

"What was that you were saying about the world not ending?" the Doctor told Rose.

"What? It's just those rhino-things," Rose said. "You said they were police."

"Judoon," the Doctor corrected. "Yeah, and last time we met them they tried to lock you up. Remember that?"

"Well there is no way they're here for me," Rose said, folding her arms across her chest. "They can't have known we'd be here."

"Doctor!" The lead Judoon called out. 

"Oh, you are bloody kidding me," Rose said in absolute disbelief. 

The Doctor clasped her hand. "No more dancing," he said and pulled her with him.

"It's not the dancing," Rose told him. "It's your bloody tux. Something bad always happens when you wear that thing."

"I thought you liked it."

"What? You in the tux or bad things happening?" 

The Doctor glanced back at her over his shoulder a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Well, a bit of both," he said.

Rose found herself smiling back. "You are impossible," she told him as they scurried between the quiet revellers. 

Everyone's eyes were on the Judoon. No one was paying attention to the Doctor and Rose. The Judoon were systematically going through the crowds.

"Doctor!" the Judoon called out again. "You will relinquish Rose Tyler."

"I will not," the Doctor muttered, his hand instinctively tightening around Rose's.

"What do they want with me now?" Rose asked him in a hushed tone. "I thought we were passed this."

"Don't know," the Doctor replied. "But I am not sticking around to find out."

"We have a warrant for the arrest of Rose Tyler!" the Judoon called out. 

"I'll show you how much I care about your stupid warrants." The Doctor was definitely not having it today. 

The Doctor and Rose skirted around a group. Many of them had eyes black as night and much larger than any human. Their eyes tracked them as Rose and the Doctor hurried on. But none of them gave them away. 

The crowds grew steadily thicker. Until they couldn’t get by without rousing suspicion. 

The Doctor’s head swivelled this way and that, desperate for an exit. He urged Rose with him, hesitation in his step as they moved into a more open area. 

It was the only way forward but it would leave them exposed. 

Rose’s eyes traced the steps of the amphitheatre, over the heads of all the people, creatures and aliens right down to the huge fountain at its centre and back up. Right across from them, far on the other side stood the lead Judoon, stoic and watchful. 

But he was not who caught Rose’s eye because right next to him stood the white haired stranger. The empath who had been strong enough to sense the bond between the Doctor and Rose.

Had he notified the Judoon? Had he known they might have been looking for her somehow? The thought made anger rise in Rose’s chest. It felt like a betrayal. Not that the stranger owed them anything but the universe couldn’t have let them have just one dance? 

Her change in mood caught the Doctor’s attention. His gaze followed hers. He spotted the stranger just as a wave of anger rolled off her. 

“Rose, no...” But that was all the Doctor had time to say before the stranger’s eyes snapped around and fixed straight on Rose. 

A gleeful smile split his face. He’d sensed her anger. She had given them away. 

He leaned towards the Judoon next to him. Raising his arm he pointed across the square. The Doctor and Rose were already running. 

"Halt!" the Judoon shouted.

Neither Rose nor the Doctor headed them. They ran through the crowds, forced to push some people out of the way. Four Judoon came marching towards them. The beats of their boots a steady rhythm. People moved out of their way. No one wanted to pick a fight with these creatures that oozed authority and the promise of violence. 

The Judoon blocked of the exit they'd been heading for. The Doctor and Rose skidded to a stop. They twirled around. More Judoon were coming from behind them. 

"This way!" The Doctor pulled Rose with him down the stairs just as a gun blast sang past above their heads. The blast was like a siren going off. Suddenly there was chaos. People screamed and threw themselves out of the way. The Judoon fired again. 

The Doctor and Rose both ducked their heads, hoping to avoid the blasts. The shots hit the light orbs overhead instead. Sparks rained down all around them. 

The Doctor took several steps in one bound and Rose stumbled after him, slightly hindered by her heals. They ran down more stairs until they got to the fountain. The Judoon were closing in around them, weapons raised.

"Surrender!" they insisted.

"Come on." The Doctor jumped up onto the edge of the fountain. He pulled Rose up next to him. 

Round polished stones were placed out in the water. The Doctor jumped onto the first one and then swiftly on to the next. Rose looked down at her shoes and made a split second decision. She reached down and pulled them off, tossing them to a woman in an elaborate purple dress. Surprisingly she caught them.

"Happy New Year," Rose gave her a cheeky smile before she jumped barefoot onto the first stone.

The Judoon split up and hurried around the enormous fountain. But the Doctor and Rose were quicker. Reaching the edge the Doctor jumped down. He twirled around, his hands already raised for Rose. She reached the edge with a final skip. He clasped his hands around her waist and lifted her down. Placing her next to him he noticed her bare feet.

"What happened to your shoes?" he asked. 

Rose shrugged. "I gave them away."

"What? Why would you...?"

"Duck!" Rose dragged the Doctor down just as a shot blew by inches above them. It hit another sphere that exploded in a shower of sparks. Seems the Judoon were determined to start the fireworks early. 

The Doctor took Rose's hand and together they ran. Realising their mistake the Judoon quickly regrouped. They were big and imposing but thankfully not that fast. 

Running up the steps of the amphitheatre the Doctor and Rose dodged most of them with relative ease. But people were panicking, running in every direction. They nearly knocked them both to the ground several times as they tried to flee from the gun blasts. 

The Judoon fired again. This time they hit the ground. White stone splintered and flew into the air. What were they even thinking firing their weapons in a crowd like this? 

Rose stepped on pebbles from the blast, wincing as they cut into her bare feet. The Doctor pulled her tight against him, just avoiding a blue-skinned woman that had been pushed in the fray. She fell at Rose’s feet. 

Rose was already reaching down to help her back up. “What is happening?” the woman cried. She was wearing an elaborate, sparkling headpiece that had come askew. 

“Stop running,” the Doctor told her. “They’re not here for you and Judoon don’t miss.” The woman’s eyes fixed on the Doctor. “Find a place, down by the fountain. Stay put. You’ll be fine.” 

The woman seemed dazed as she nodded but did as the Doctor told her. 

“Judoon don’t miss?” Rose asked him. 

“Rarely,” the Doctor answered. “They’re trying to coral us not kill us.”

He looked around, finding the Judoon in the panic crowds. They were still coming for them. 

“Come on,” the Doctor said. “Time to change the game.” 

He pulled her with him in a new direction. They’d been trying to get back to the TARDIS but there was no way for them to reach it. They needed a new plan. 

They climbed up more steps until they finally reached the edge of the square. They threw themselves into a throng of people. The Judoon followed. But thankfully they couldn’t get at them while lost in the crowd. They may be good shots but no one was that good. 

Spotting an exit that hadn’t been covered or left unattended in pursuit of the Doctor and Rose they broke free from the crushing crowd. It spit them out and then they were running again. 

Hand in hand they rushed for the opening. It was a small one between two high buildings and they had no idea where it might lead. Neither of them hesitated. One minute they’d been lost in people and light and sound but once they reached the alley the world grew dark and quite. 

The buildings where high enough that they almost blocked out the night sky. Again Rose thought she heard thunder but maybe it was just the Judoon shooting at more light spheres. 

They ran on, the Doctor taking a sharp right at the next intersection. The sound of his chucks against the pavement echoed of the walls. Rose’s steps made no sound at all. 

That’s when they heard it. Not the noise of Judoon coming but the sound of music. The Doctor and Rose took one look at each other and then they hurried towards that sound. 

Another sharp turn and they saw light at the mouth of the alley. They both grinned as they ran for it. The music got steadily louder, mingling with sounds of cheer and laughter. 

The Doctor and Rose stumbled out onto a street. The music hit them with a gush of air. People crowded the sidewalks, waving flags of every colour in the air. They were gathered for a parade. Down the street rolled a float with an entire orchestra playing instruments the like of which Rose had never seen. They sounded like wind blowing in trees, creating melodies that made you want nothing more than to cheer and dance. 

Acrobats tumbled passed, meeting excited appreciation from the crowds. Dancers in dresses of gold and copper spun as they threw tiny fireworks into the air. 

Rose laughed. She couldn’t help it. The Doctor glanced down at her, grinning. That’s when they heard it. The steady beat of the Judoon. 

Neither Rose nor the Doctor turned to look. The pushed passed the crowd and threw themselves straight into the parade. Dodging jugglers that were throwing flaming torches into the air they made it to the other side. 

People moved to let them pass as they ran on through the glittering night. 

It was a big city. Skyscrapers like spires reached high into the air, neon signs glowed and nearly every corner. 

They reached another street. Less crowded. There were lights strung up between many of the buildings in favour of the celebrations. 

The square had been more elegantly decorated. The streets were wilder. The whole city alive and vibrant.

Slowing their pace both the Doctor and Rose looked around. There was no sign of the Judoon. At least for now. Rose felt laughter bubbling out of her mouth. Adrenaline sang in her veins making her feel like her while body was vibrating with the city. 

The Doctor looked over at her. The worried frown quickly melted from his face and a smile lit it instead.

"Sorry," Rose said, trying to stifle her laughter. "Feels like I haven’t run like that in forever." She smiled at the Doctor.

"Too long," he agreed. 

She wrapped her free hand around his arm. "And all that because the Doctor danced," Rose said with a smile.

"Dangerous business dancing." He glanced down at her.

"Doctor..," she began. Thunder cracked across the night cutting her off. 

Both of them stopped and glanced up. A spiderweb of light and electricity chased each other across the sky. The boom came almost instantly, the massive sound rattling the glass buildings. Then the sky opened up. A cascade of rain poured down. Everyone around them scattered.

The Doctor pulled Rose with him. Under the roof an old theatre they huddled together with others who fled the storm. 

Thunder cracked again, violent and loud. The rain hammered against the pavement, quickly gathering in pools of water. People were rushing under umbrellas and newspapers. Some were holding up the flags they'd just moments ago been waving in the air, uselessly trying to stay dry.

Rose pulled free of the Doctor's hand then. She ran out into the middle of the street. Throwing out her arms she spun around, laughing as they rain soaked her through. It ruined her carefully made curls, darkening their colour to an antique gold. It drenched her dress, plastering the silky material to her body. 

But Rose just raised her face to the heavens, closed her eyes and smiled into the impending storm. The Doctor couldn't take his eyes off her. She held him, spellbound. He’d never needed a bond to follow Rose Tyler. He’d walk to the ends of time for her and if he couldn’t walk he’d crawl. 

He watched as rain ran over Rose’s skin. He could see each drop as they trailed down her back, disappearing behind the gold lace of her gown. In that moment he was jealous of everyone of them

Then Rose turned her head, her eyes catching his, her face alight and alive like the storm above her. 

That’s when the Doctor finally moved. He rushed out to join her, ignoring it as the rain soaked through his suit and plastered his hair to his forehead. Catching Rose as she spun she laughed with delight and he laughed with her. Why he’d still tried to keep some barriers between them was at the moment a complete mystery to him. 

He’d been taught that the bond was ancient and dangerous. Something to be feared above all else. But how could anything with this beautiful human be anything but. Loving such a creature as her was never going to be safe. But what did it matter? He was given a brief speck of time with her and by god this time he’d make it count.

Rose was running her hands up around his neck. The careful brushes of her fingertips making him shiver. Playfully she tugged at his wet hair at the nape of his neck. The Doctor bent her over his arm and she clung to him.

_Are you sweeping me off my feet, Doctor?_

"I try my best." 

The Doctor leaned down towards her. Like gravity, he'd said. Hard to fight gravity. Impossible.

They both knew how much they wanted to give in to it. The call of the bond. They longed for it. Hungered for it even. And in that moment neither of them could think of a single reason why they shouldn't.

For just a second there was a question in the Doctor’s eyes. But before Rose could even begin to answer, his gaze dropped and his long dark lashes hid them from her. His lips were mere inches from hers. They shared a breath. Two. Three.

The Doctor was the one who finally closed the gap. He leaned down and ran his tongue along Rose’s bottom lip. Her eyelids fluttered shut. 

"Mmm," he sighed. _You taste like rain and fireworks._

Her eyes flipping back opened. Rose ceased the collar of the Doctor’s suit and pulled him down towards her. His lips crashed against hers. Immediately the bond blazed up between them like fire, untamed and wild  
Rose sighed into his mouth and let her tongue tangle with his. He tasted of the city at night, of running and storms.

"There they are!" Rose and the Doctor heard someone call through the night. 

They both froze. The Doctor pulled her back up. They looked around. A group of Judoon were marching towards them down the street. Guess they hadn't lost them after all. The Doctor retook Rose's hand and they ran. Water splashed around their feet as the Judoon gave chase.

They crashed though a door into a restaurant. Red lanterns hung in the ceiling. Smoke and steam from the kitchens filled the air, the aroma of exotic foods overtaking Rose’s senses. Every small rectangular table was filled. Several head's swivelled in their direction.

"Sorry," they both said, nodding and bowing towards the staff, who had stopped in the middle of serving. Doctor and Rose dripped water all over the floor. “Sorry.”

The Doctor pulled Rose through the restaurant into the kitchen. There her hand tightened around his and she yanked him towards her. They were kissing before either had finished the thought. Someone barked something angry at them that Rose didn't understand. Cursing then, she concluded and pulled away from the Doctor. The TARDIS didn't always seem to translate curse words for some reason. Perhaps it was beneath her, Rose thought with a smile.

A big angry man with a white apron stained with soya sauce, or possible something far more exotic came striding towards them brandishing a ladle. The Doctor pulled Rose away and they ran through the kitchen, dodging staff and flambés.

They stumbled through the back door and out into another alley. It was still raining. But above them hung strips of cloth in different vibrant colours. It prevented some of the rain from reaching them. 

The Doctor spun Rose around and quickly had her trapped between him and the alley wall. Rose wrapped her arms around him and kissed him desperately, adrenaline rushing along with the electricity his touch sparked in her blood. The Doctor's hands were in her wet hair. Pins scattered and the wet strands spilled between his fingers. Rain ran in rivulets down Rose's back, but she wasn't cold. No part of her was cold. She was alive with heat and fire.

Every touch was ecstasy, every brush of his tongue against hers a delirium. Rose had never felt this out of control or this much alive. She found she didn't care about anything else. Not the warnings whispering in the back of her head. Warnings about playing with fire and getting burned. None of it seemed to matter. There was a ruckus from inside the restaurant and then they were running again.

They ran aimlessly through the alleys, the rain pouring down. It hit the cobblestones at their feet with such force the drops seemed to bounce back into the air, catching the light from the streetlights. It looked like it was raining stars. 

They came out on a larger street as a big red paper dragon was making its way past. It's head was golden and it's body long and slim as a snake's, gold details painted all along its edges. People were dancing underneath it, holding it up and making it seem alive with their movements. Another parade. 

There were people everywhere. Some hid under their umbrellas but others, like the Doctor and Rose had realised the futility of trying to escape the forces of nature. They danced and cheered in the rain. Young people, old people, kids. Aliens and humans alike.

Women in beautiful dresses and white painted faces with lips red like cherries threw confetti into the air. The rain seemed to have no effect on them. Men were playing more instruments Rose had never seen before. They filled the atmosphere with spellbinding melodies. Rose wanted to stay and listen. Let the music sweep her up and away. 

But lightning exploded across the sky and the hammering feet of the Judoon drummed closer behind them. The Doctor and Rose ran along the edge of the parade and ducked through the crowds.

Rose dodged inside a doorway, pulling the Doctor with her. She wrapped her hand around his bowtie and pulled him against her. His lips moved hungrily against hers as the Judoon ran past without seeing them. The Judoon marched right across the street, momentarily holding up the parade and disappearing down another alley.

Rose and the Doctor tore free of each other and hurried back the way they'd come. Rose laughed as she ran with her hand in his. She was high on the thrill of the chase. But the energy shifting back and forth between her and the Doctor was a different kind of thrill. It consumed them. Made them giddy and reckless. There was nothing left but running, letting this night sweep them away, never to return.

Turning a corner they came out into a courtyard covered in flowers and greenery to contrast the pavements of the city. Lights hung above them, swaying in the wonderful storm. Somewhere in the distance they could hear thunder rolling across the night sky. 

Underneath the festive lights was a pavilion. The entrances hung with nearly transparent white fabric. The Doctor brushed the light material away, letting the wind and rain catch it as they stumbled into the pavilion to escape the rain. The Doctor captured Rose's face between his hands.

"I love you," he said, as he looked into her eyes. "I love you."

"Shut up," she told him and pressed her lips to his.

They were lost. Lost in the heady rush of each other. In the promise of ecstasy. Rose undid the Doctor's bowtie, unbuttoning the first few buttons on his shirt. She pushed the labels of his jacket apart and he let it drop to the floor. Even his shirt was soaked through with rain. She ran her fingers over his chest, revelling in the feeling of his body beneath the wet fabric. 

The Doctor was kissing her until she was breathless. Never in her life had Rose felt this good. It was like she was weightless, suspended in midair, her body nothing more than a swirl of sensations.

That was why it took her so long to notice. Notice that something was wrong. She didn't even hear the screams at first, didn't feel the pain. What finally penetrated her blissful delirium was the Doctor screaming inside her head.

_ROSE! STOP!_

Then the pain registered. Rose looked down at her hands and saw her skin turning to ash. Golden dust and ash. The energy inside her was burning its way out. Rose raised her head to the night sky as a painful, broken cry ripped its way from her throat.

"Rose!" The Doctor's terrified scream almost drowned out her own.

It was like there had been strings holding Rose up and suddenly those strings snapped. Pain shot up her leg as the bones in her right foot fractured on impact. 

She could feel the Doctor, his hands against her skin making the energy immediately respond to him. He wrapped her up in his jacket and pulled her to her feet. But Rose cried out as she felt the fractured bones protest. The Doctor didn't seem to care. He pulled her with him, his hold on her relentless. They stumbled through the streets. Somehow the festivities seemed less merry. Sound seemed far away. Everything was a blur of colour and motion as the Doctor pulled her through the city.

Rose felt it the minute they got inside the TARDIS. It was like a comforting hand brushed against her exhausted, scrambled mind. But even though it was comforting Rose thought she could still feel a hint of fear underneath it. The TARDIS, afraid.

The Doctor left Rose on the jump seat. But she didn't seem to quite have the strength to hold herself up so she swayed where she sat. The Doctor fired up the ship, getting them into the vortex faster than he ever had before. 

He left the console and hurried over to Rose and pulled her back up. Her knees immediately folded under her. He lifted her up into his arms and ran with her through the hallways. Rose vaguely recognised the ceiling passing by above her before the Doctor got her into the infirmary. He deposited her on the exam table in the middle of the room. Rose thought she could hear the whirring sound of the sonic. Then metal against metal, frantic fiddling.

"I'm sorry," she thought she heard the Doctor mumble. She cried out as he reset the bones in her foot. "I'm sorry," he mumbled again, his voice as fractured as her bones. 

Rose struggled against the tears burning at be back of her throat. He wrapped her foot up in something and slowly the pain there receded. Unfortunately that only made everything else hurt more. Her skin felt as though it was still burning. She ground her teeth together, struggling not to cry out again. 

"Hang in there, Rose," the Doctor told her. She could feel him running about around her, the frantic urgency in his movements.

Tears finally spilled over and ran down Rose's cheeks. She couldn't fight them no matter how much she struggled. She didn't know what had happened. Didn't understand what was going on. And however hard she tried to form the words to ask him, she couldn't manage to push a single syllable passed her lips.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I will try to post on Thursdays instead cus I got a 5 hour ballet class on Tuesdays now and I’m kinda exhausted after that. Sorry this took a wee bit longer to post than planned. Life stuff got in the way. 
> 
> But anywho, hope you liked it!


	27. Darkness falls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Rose both struggle with the aftermath of what happened on New Years Eve. But a message sends them somwhere new where dark things await.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Rose awoke to pain pulsing through her hand. She unclenched her fingers, seeing the deep indentations left in her palm by her nails. She struggled to breathe, every breath like trying to force shards of glass down her lungs. 

Opening her eyes she recognised the pink duvet and the nightstand overflowing with familiar photos and trinkets she’d collected through her time travelling the universe. She was in her room, in her bed on the TARDIS. It was a dream. It had all just been a bad dream. 

She'd had them before. Nightmares where she lost control and people got hurt. 

She turned, the movement strangely painful. As she did she found a messy head of brown hair resting next to her. 

The Doctor was sitting in a chair by her bed. He must have fallen asleep there, his head on the bed by her shoulder. She reached out her hand to touch him. It wasn't often she was allowed such a luxury. Touching him when he had no defences up. Even seeing him asleep was quite the rarity. Time Lords and their superior physiology. 

But it was when she let her fingers disappear between the strands of his hair that she saw it. The bandages wrapped neatly around her wrist and her forearm.

The realisation hit her hard. Sharp and painful. A dream wouldn't do that. A dream wouldn't leave marks visible in the light of day. A dream would have faded when she woke. A dream didn't leave scars. 

"Doctor...." His name was a strangled, inhalation of breath. 

The Doctor came immediately awake. He raised his head. The moment of disorientation vanished within one heartbeat and the next. He saw the tears that had begun to trail down Rose's cheeks and he looked like very single on of them hurt him. 

"It wasn't a dream was it?" Rose asked him. He shook his head, his gaze dropping from hers, like he really couldn’t bear the sight of her tears. "What happened?" 

She couldn't quite fit the pieces together. She remembered rain, running barefoot and the Doctor. The Doctor in her mind, his fingers against her skin, his lips against hers. A wonderful whirlwind of heat and fire that had somehow turned into one of her nightmares.

"It was my fault," the Doctor said. 

Rose waited for him to continue. But he didn't. 

"What was your fault?" Rose pressed. 

The Doctor wouldn't look at her. Why wouldn't he look at her? A hint of panic nestled its way into Rose's heart. It was corrosive, burning through her system with every beat

_Look at me!_ she demanded across the bond, her fear sharpening the mental imprint to a point. 

But something was wrong. The words didn't flow effortlessly from her mind to his as she had grown used to. It was like they had to trudge through mud to get there.

Finally the Doctor looked up. "I lost control," he said. 

Rose stared at him. "You mean, I lost control," she corrected.

He shook his head. "I should never have let it go that far," he said. "Not in a crowded place. I wasn't thinking. I..." he trailed off.

"Did I hurt anyone?" 

The Doctor reached out and took Rose's hand. Carefully, so as not to hurt her he laced their fingers together. He brushed his thumb lightly across hers. His touch should have sent a pleasant tingle across her skin but even that seemed somehow dulled. 

"No," he answered without looking at her.

"Don't lie to me," Rose said. "You promised." 

Slowly the Doctor raised her hand and gave her knuckles a kiss. His lips trembled as they graced her skin. Even as they lingered his eyelids fluttered shut in pain. Like even touching her hurt him.

"The Judoon," he said. "They found us. They got too close."

"Did I kill them?" Rose asked, feeling a fist of guilt tighten around her heart. 

"I don't know." He let go of her hand and she instantly missed it. He let his head fall into his hands, his fingers getting lost in his hair. "All I could think was to get you out of there," the Doctor said, speaking to the mattress not to Rose. "I didn't stop to look if anyone was hurt." He squeezed his eyes shut. "I just took you and I ran."

This was exactly what they'd both been afraid of, Rose thought with dread. That others would be hurt because of them. Because of what they were. Bound. Bound and wound so tight they couldn't see anything else. 

Is that what had happened? Had they'd been so lost in each other they had not cared if the world suffered for it?

Rose tried to reach the Doctor across the bond. For comfort. For anything. But she couldn't quite do it. 

"What's wrong?" she asked. 

The Doctor looked up at her then. "What do you mean?"

"Why can't I..." Rose tried to clarify. "I can't feel you," she said. 

He looked stricken, frightened even. "It's me," he said and Rose watched as he swallowed hard. "I'm blocking off the connection. As much as I can."

“Why?” Rose’s voice trembled and she fought to steady it. “Why would you do that?” 

"We can talk about that later." The Doctor rose to his feet suddenly. Like he’d had to force himself to stay long enough when all he’d really wanted was to leave. "Please just rest for now. You need to rest."

He turned away but Rose managed to catch his hand. There was no spark. No rush of electricity. It was only the fear that she might never feel it again. 

She squeezed his hand, pleading for whatever comfort he could spare. Even if it was forced. She was desperate. 

Slowly the Doctor turned back. He sank down on the edge of the bed. He retook her hand and Rose nearly wept with gratitude. He didn’t leave. He’d spare a moment more. At this point she’d take anything. 

"Please, Rose," he said and Rose was surprised he was the one pleading with her. "You have to rest. I need you to get better.” His voice was strained, like a string pulled too tight. “We'll talk later, I promise." 

The Doctor gave Rose’s knuckles one more kiss before he got back up. He placed her hand down gently by her side. 

"I need to go change my clothes," he said and first then did Rose notice he was still wearing the tux. The bowtie hung undone around his neck. Half the buttons on his shirt were unbuttoned and the sleeves were hastily rolled up. The jacket was gone. Lost or discarded Rose didn't know. 

She had a whisper of a memory. A memory of her taking it off. Of her fingers undoing the bowtie and slipping the buttons out of their holes. Rain making them slippery. 

"Get some rest," the Doctor said. 

He turned away and left her before she could say anything else. The minute the door closed behind him Rose was alone. Completely and utterly alone. It had been a long time since she'd felt it so keenly. She'd gotten used to having the Doctor in her head. Of feeling him wherever she was.

But there was nothing to keep her company now but her own dark thoughts. Her own crippling fears that, his eagerness to be anywhere but with her, had stirred deep in her chest. 

Her mother had warned her. Warned her that love like this hurt. Problem was it didn’t just hurt them. 

Rose knew the choice she’d made that day at Bad Wolf bay had been a dangerous one. To stay with the Doctor when knowing that destruction might rain down on the universe for the sake of their happiness. 

But she had taken a leap of faith. She thought not she nor the Doctor would ever allow such a thing to happen. That in the end it would be choice. A choice between right and wrong. But perhaps she had been deluding herself. Perhaps there never had been a choice. 

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Three days Rose spent in bed. Three days until her skin finally healed enough that the Doctor agreed to remove the bandages. During that time she barely saw him at all. He stayed far away. Hidden in the deeper corners of the TARDIS doing whatever he did when he wanted to avoid her. 

A far easier feet now that he was blocking their connection. Once, Rose tried to go find him but got lost and eventually ended up in the library. She'd fallen asleep on one of the sofas and had woken up in her bed. 

The Doctor must have found her and carried her back. But he'd been long gone by the time she woke up. 

Rose remembered how it had felt when she'd been trapped in that room on the Dalek Crucible, surrounded by the blue web of light from the crystal Annabelle Conn had collected from Poosh. 

How empty and alone it had made her feel. This wasn't quite the same. Rose could still sense the Doctor to some degree. But it was like he was always far away. Just out of her reach.

When Rose woke up on the fourth day she struggled out of bed and got in the shower. She was done with recuperating. Her foot was alright. A little sore but she didn't limp. Her skin was still red in places where it had yet to heal fully. But it no longer hurt. She healed faster now.

It was wonderful standing under the hot water. Since the Doctor started blocking her she always felt cold. Like the first few weeks she’d spent with him and she hadn't been used to how cold space could be.

After nearly an hour under the hot spray Rose finally got out of the shower. Getting dressed in jeans and a pink jumper she felt more and more like herself. She ran a brush through her hair, taking note of how long it had gotten and wondered if perhaps she should cut it. 

After applying a couple of layers of mascara she felt ready for battle. Because that was undoubtedly what she was facing. 

Before she left the bathroom the image of herself in the mirror made her pause. There was a haunted look in her eyes. It was the fear she couldn’t shake. Fear of herself and for them. Her and the Doctor. Because what where they together but heat and destruction? And what would they be apart? Echoes of themselves? Shells without hope or heading? Was that their only future?

Taking a deep breath Rose left, the haunted image lingering in her mind. She made her way through hallways, running her fingers along the walls of the old ship as she walked. She could feel them hurtling through the vortex. 

She’d decided she wouldn’t give up until she found him this time. But at the speed they were going there was only one place he could be. 

Rose made her way up the steps to the console room. The Doctor was at the monitor, his fingers running rapidly over the keys, his spectacles perched on his nose. 

He was back in his pinstriped suit and Rose briefly wondered what had happened to the tux. Perhaps he'd burned it. Or flung it into a supernova. 

Rose walked into the room, her steps quiet and careful. "Where are we going?" she asked.

The Doctor started at the sound of her voice. "Rose..." If he hadn't been blocking off the bond she never would have been able to sneak up on him, Rose thought. He would have felt her coming. His gaze flickered away from hers. "What are you doing out of bed?"

Rose walked over to the console. "I'm better now," she said, tapping her fingers on the coral edge. She held up her arms for him to see. He glanced at her briefly. 

"And your foot?" he asked. 

"It's fine," Rose said. She took a breath and folded her arms across her chest. She should have worn a warmer jumper. She was still cold. "So where are we going?" she asked again. 

It took a couple of heartbeats for him to answer. Twice as many for him.  
“Well...I’m just checking on something," he told her distractedly. 

He reached over the console, pushing buttons for the space calculations. Rose remembered him telling her about their importance. How one wrong press of a button. One miscalculation and they could end up in the middle of a sun or a supernova. 

Rose watched the Doctor as he made his way around the console, flipping switches as he went. She tried to reach out across the bond to get some sense of what he was feeling. But he was making it difficult. He was worried. That was about all she was able to discern. 

"What's going on, Doctor?" Rose asked. 

The Doctor kept flipping switches, looking at anything but her.

"You should get back to bed..," he said.

"I told you I'm fine."

"...Don't want to take any chances," he continued as though she hadn't spoken at all.

"Doctor, stop it," she ground out. "Just stop it." 

He did. He stopped, his hands clasping the edge of the console. But he still wouldn't look at her. 

"Why are you blocking me?" Rose asked. "You said you’d tell me so just do it." 

The Doctor drew in a deep uneven breath but did not answer. 

"Are you afraid of me?" Rose asked. The thought of such a thing made her ill. She was terrified of herself but if the Doctor was too she'd fall apart. "Do you think I'd..." she stumbled over the word. "...hurt you?" she finished.

The Doctor shook his head. "No," he said.

"Then what?" 

Finally he glanced up at her and the minute his eyes met hers she was sure she felt a crack split her heart. 

Because she knew that look. It was the look he got when he was going to tell her something so bad he'd rather not say it at all. This was the look he got when he forced himself to stay when he'd rather run.

"Rose..." he began slowly but fell silent, "Rose...I..." he tried again but he couldn't seem to get the words out.

The silence was deafening. Rose wanted to scream at him. Demand that he tell her what was going on. But just as much as she wanted to know she feared it. What if the knowing was worse? 

"We've landed," Rose noticed.

"What?" the Doctor asked, blinking at her.

"We've landed," she repeated.

He glanced at the monitor. "Yeah."

"Where?" 

The Doctor hesitated. Rose ground her teeth in frustration. While he debated whether or not her question merited an answer Rose marched over to the door. 

"Rose, don't go out there," the Doctor called after her. 

She stopped with her hand on the door handle. "Then tell me what's wrong," she said without turning around. "Tell me even if you think it will hurt me."

"Hurting you is the last thing I want," he said.

"You owe me an explanation," Rose insisted. She waited and he said nothing. "Fine," she ground out. Rose opened the door and stepped out.

The sight beyond the TARDIS doors was breathtaking. It was a giant ballroom. The scope of it was massive. The ceiling so high it was hidden in shadow. A dance floor spread wide before her, high polished marble gleaming in eerie pale light. Four chandeliers hung from the ceiling, some of the crystals as big as a fist.

Beyond the dance floor were round tables with white tabletops and all along the edges of the room were pillars of green marble. They supported gilded balconies overhead. Across the room from Rose was a staircase, carpeted in ruby red. It split in two halfway up, one going right and one left.

It was opulence and splendour from a bygone age. And long gone it was. Dirt had begun to dull the shine of the gold plaited railings on the balconies. Chairs were topped over and tables upended. Mould were slowly crawling up the walls and darkened the carpet covering the stairs. 

When Rose took a step onto the marble floor, the soles of her shoes got wet from the water that had leaked from somewhere. 

"The Emperica," the Doctor said, stepping up beside her and putting his hands in his pockets as he surveyed their surroundings. "One of the greatest ships ever built."

"Please don't tell me it was unsinkable," Rose remarked.

"No," the Doctor said thoughtfully. "It was decommissioned. Ended up used for transporting goods rather than people." 

Rose looked around the room and all its splendour. "You're saying they took this ship and turned into a freighter?"

"Yeah."

"That's just kinda tragic," Rose said with a touch of sadness. 

It was tragic because this ship had been built for parties and champagne. For nights that knew no end and mornings that broke at noon. It was built for laughter and falling in love under a star strewn sky. She could feel it through the wood and marble. Someone had put passion into building her.

"When you say ship, though," Rose wondered. "Do you mean spaceship or...?"

"Spaceship, yes," the Doctor confirmed.

"Then where is the water coming from?" Rose asked, as she splashed around a little in the puddle she was standing in.

The Doctor looked around. "I don't know," he allowed. 

He left her and walked over to something that Rose assumed was some kind of information point. It was cut in the same marble as the pillars with gold leaves along its edges and even gold inlayed buttons on the top. 

The Doctor used the sonic to fire it up. Rose shivered, rubbing at her arms for warmth. She turned back to TARDIS, thinking to go back and grab a jacket. That's when she noticed the glass windows.Three of them. 

They were huge, stretching from the floor to the ceiling and right to the edges of the room. They showed her a beautiful night sky, twin moons glowing among millions of twinkling stars.

"Doctor," Rose breathed as she stared at it, imagining what it must have been like to be on this ship at the hight of its beauty. To dance in this room with the night sky behind you.

"I can't get this to work," the Doctor was muttering. 

Rose found it hard to tear her eyes away. But it wasn’t the beauty, however spellbinding. Something else held her attention. Something tickling at the edge of her mind. 

She walked over to the window. Looking out she saw what it was that had teased her vision. The ship was lying on its side in the water. The water was vast as an ocean. That is what had not quite made sense. Because even though the ship was over on its side they were still the right way up. The ship must have some artificial gravity that was still functioning.

"Ah! I got something," the Doctor exclaimed. 

Rose turned back to him as light flooded the room. The chandeliers overhead sparked to life, casting most of the room in a golden glow. But even the huge chandeliers couldn't quite scare away the shadows hiding in the corners. 

The info-point's screen flickered and the Doctor ran the sonic over it until the picture cleared. It showed them the face of a man. His eyes were widened in terror and his mouth open in a silent scream. Rose felt the hairs on arms stand on end.

"You can't run," they heard a scared male voice say from the info-point. Rose would assume it was the man on the screen but the picture had not moved. The picture was frozen. The Doctor ran the sonic over it again.

"Can't get the picture to work," he said.

"You can't run," the voice said again. Rose could hear the absolute fear in it. The terror. "You can't run. Darkness," it said. "It's coming. It's coming. It's coming." 

Like a broken record he kept repeating the same phrase. It's coming. The Doctor turned the message off. Chills ran up and down Rose's arms. Suddenly the room didn't seem so tragically beautiful anymore. It looked frightening. It's grandeur overwhelming.

"The data is too corrupted," he said.

"What darkness?" Rose asked. “What did he mean?”

The Doctor glanced over at her. His expression told her he had no idea.

"Doctor," Rose said as she looked around the room."What happened here? What happened to this ship?" Rose turned her gaze back to the Doctor, her eyes narrowing as she considered him. "Why did we come here?"

"According to the log," the Doctor said. "The Emperica set out with a cargo from Ro'chi 7. But halfway to their destination something happened."

"What happened?"

"Darkness," the Doctor said. "That's all it says. Darkness fell."

"So did something happen to the ship?" Rose asked. "Because it's lying on its side in the water."

"Water?" the Doctor asked. Rose nodded. He ran over to the window she'd just stood gazing out of.

He turned around and ran back into the TARDIS without a word. Rose hurried after him. She found him at the console.

"We're not on a planet," he said. "We are in the middle of a very large astroid belt. One that's not even on the TARDIS maps.” He tapped away on the keyboard. "That’s strange,” he said. “The ship appears to be fine. Just give the power-cells a boost and you could fly it out of here."

"So what happened then?" Rose asked. “I very much doubt they landed voluntarily in the middle of an astroid belt.” 

The Doctor stared at the screen. "No idea," he said. "The TARDIS isn't picking up any life signs and not a single escape pod has been launched."

"Well, the people on the ship didn't just step outside for a swim," Rose pointed out.

"No," the Doctor agreed. "It had a crew of a hundred and five when they set out so something happened to them." He turned a few dials and punched in new commands. "Let's see what happens if we widen the parameters," he mumbled as he worked. "Wow..."

"What?" Rose asked.

"There is something alive on that ship," the Doctor said.

"What is it?"

"No idea."

He glanced over at her. Rose’s eyes caught his across the room and suddenly the space separating them vanished. It was like he was standing right in front of her. She could feel him. They way his body shifted in response to hers. She could feel the exact amount of air that movement caused and how that air brushed against her skin. For just the blink of an eye everything was alright again. But then it was like a door slamming shut in her face. She took a step back.

"Sorry," the Doctor muttered. "I didn't mean to..."

"You didn't mean to let me back in or you didn't mean to slam the door in my face?" Rose asked.

"Both," the Doctor answered.

"Right." Rose turned on her heal, fighting every urge, every impulse, every need she felt to stay with him.

"Rose!" he called after her. "I don't know what we're walking into.”

"I don't care.” 

Rose grabbed an old jacket she'd discarded on the railing and drew it on before walking out. 

Once outside the TARDIS, she took a deep calming breath, trying by will alone to slow her frantic beating heart. If he wasn’t going to help she’d just figure it out herself. She could use the distraction. 

Something made Rose glance up. Her eyes focused on a shadow filled corner to the left of her. She narrowed her eyes, trying to see into the darkness. She had the strangest feeling something was staring back at her.

The Doctor came up behind her. "Throwing yourself into the jaws of death as usual?" he asked, Rose noting the hint of irritation in his voice. 

She struggled to contain her frustration. "It happened once," she told him and walked away. "Twice. Tops. And it was more like tripping, not throwing myself," she corrected.

"Yeah, like you can accidentally trip into danger like you do," he muttered and followed her.

They walked across the dance floor and up the grande marble staircase. Up close Rose could see the marble was cracked in places, the carpet frayed at the edges and stained with dirt.

"Where do we even start?" Rose asked.

"We should find an info-point that works," the Doctor suggested as they made their way up the stairs. Both were looking around trying to find some clue as to what had happened to the old ship and its crew. 

Rose’s eyes kept getting caught in the shadows. She couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something there. Not hiding but waiting.

"Is it just me?" Rose asked. "Or does it feel like there is something in the shadows?" 

The Doctor paused a step bellow Rose. They both looked back. Somehow the room seemed darker.

"It's just our minds," the Doctor said. "...playing tricks on us." But he didn't sound sure.

One of the big chandeliers suddenly went out. Another one followed. They could no longer see the stars beyond the window.

"Doctor..?" Rose said hesitantly, fear creeping up her spine. "Why are the lights going out?"

It took him a moment to answer. "They're not going out," he said and turned on his heal. "Run!”

Rose tore her gaze away from the falling darkness and ran. The Doctor pushed her ahead of him. They took the left set of stairs, running without turning to look behind them. They reached the top and Rose tripped over the last step. 

The Doctor caught her hand and yanked her back on her feet. But the minute his skin touched hers the link between them flared up. The Doctor released her as though she'd burned him. But she’d gotten a glimpse of something. Something cold and frightening inside his hearts.

There was no time for Rose to try and figure it out. They both rushed on down a hallway. Panelled wood covered the walls and paintings hung in gilded frames. 

Rose dared a glance behind them. The darkness was chasing them. Darkness falling. That is what the log had said. 

The hallway abruptly ended in a set of double doors. The Doctor yanked on the handle but it would not open. He pulled the sonic out of his pocket. Desperately he tried to use it on the lock. 

Rose was staring into the blackness. It was rushing towards them. Rose felt like they where being hunted. Stalked by a predator that far surpassed them. Here they were the pray.

"What is taking so long?" Rose called over her shoulder, her voice frantic.

"It doesn't do wood!" the Doctor screamed in frustration. 

She turned to him and caught his eye. "On three," she said. He nodded. "One, two, three."

They threw their shoulders against the double doors. They burst opened, wood splintering. Someone had jammed them shut. The Doctor and Rose stumbled inside the room, They pushed the doors shut behind them. The Doctor picked up the piece of wood someone had used to bar the door. Showing it through the handles he bared it again. 

They both took a step back. Staring at the doors they expected something to bang against them. For something big and horrible to force its way in. But nothing happened. Everything was suddenly too silent. 

Looking around quickly they noticed they were in some form a parlour. Made for entertaining smaller parties. Dusted luxury. Old expensive furniture and cocktail bars. 

Next to the bar was another info-point. The Doctor hurried over to it, already with the sonic in his hand. 

But something that flashed white caught Rose’s eye. In one dark corner. The soft yellow light from the lamp in the ceiling barely reached it. She had to take a step closer. By the third step she feared she already knew what it was but was still hoping she was wrong. She wasn’t.

The white that had caught the light was bone. Human bone. In the corner of the room lay all that was left of what had once been a person.

"Doctor.” Rose’s voice was hesitant. What if whatever had done that was still in the room. Barring the door obviously hadn’t helped them.

"Why are they all broken?" the Doctor was muttering from across the room.

Rose walked carefully closer. It was just bones in a bag of clothes, she told herself. They couldn’t hurt anyone anymore. As she drew nearer she saw one skeleton hand clutching a small book. Whoever it had once been had died holding on to it. 

Rose hunkered down. Gently she took the book. It was leather bound and dusty, a strap of rubber around it to hold the pages together. Rose removed the rubber band, her eyes glancing at the human skull. Some irrational part of her feared it would rise up and reclaim what she’d taken. But the bones stayed where they were. 

Rose flipped quickly through the pages, thinking it was strange to find something as ancient as a book this far into the future. Most entries were marked with a date, describing nothing more exciting than everyday life. Words about the daily toil on the ship. Of sleepless nights and friendships formed and lost. It was a journal. 

Rose skipped ahead to the last entry. Reading it her eyes widened in terror, her heart beating so hard she felt it against her ribs.

"Doctor..." she tried again, her voice trembling slightly. But he was having an argument with the info-point.

_Doctor!_ She shouted it from her mind to his. Her distress ripped through the barriers he'd put up like they were nothing more than tissue paper. 

The Doctor twirled around instantly. "What?"

"I found a journal," Rose said. "I imagine it was his." She indicated the bones on the floor. "Or hers," she allowed since there was no actual way for her to tell. The Doctor's eyes flickered down to the bones and then back up to Rose's. The armour was back on. 

"What does it say?" he asked. 

"Darkness is falling," she read. "Darkness is falling and there is nowhere left to run. Everyone's dead. I count the shadows. Every minute, I count the shadows. They are coming. Oh, god please help me. They are coming."

Rose raised her gaze to the Doctor's. "I think it's time you tell me why we're really here.” 

The Doctor drew in a quick breath through his nose and turned back to the info-point without a reply. 

"Doctor?" There was a clear warning in Rose's tone. "Doctor, you are going to tell me what is going on this very instant or I swear I'll...-"

"I don't know," he cut her off. "At least I'm not sure. Not yet."

"We came here for a reason," Rose insisted. "You purposefully landed here. I know you did. Why?" 

He wasn't answering. But with his back turned towards her she couldn't tell if he was searching for a reply or simply ignoring her. 

"Doctor..." A hint of sadness coloured her tone. "Doctor, tell me this at least."

The Doctor paused before reaching into his pocket. He withdrew something. A moment of hesitation and then he tossed it to her. Rose caught it. It was the psychic paper. 

She opened it. Words appeared on the otherwise empty squares of white paper. Coordinates and a message. 

_The Emperica, come as soon as you can X._

"They sealed it with a kiss," Rose remarked, trying not to feel the sting of jealousy that stirred unwelcome in her gut. The Doctor didn't reply. "So, who's it from then?" Rose asked. 

The Doctor was still trying to get the info-point to work, running the sonic over it. But the machine was clearly not cooperating.

"Don't know," he said absentmindedly. 

Rose held up the psychic paper. "Old girlfriend?" she asked.

"No."

"Ah, new girlfriend then," Rose concluded bitterly. 

The Doctor pushed away from the info-point. He stalked over to her, snatching the paper out of her hands. There was fire in his eyes. Anger and heat that darkened their colour. Burning coal. 

"Don't you dare," he growled at her. "Don't dare imply I could ever-..." he failed to finish, the words getting caught in his throat. He twirled away from her, shoving the psychic paper angrily back inside his pocket.

Rose wanted to say something. Something to calm or something to ignite. She wasn’t sure. At least if he was angry he might tell her something. But before she could do either the doors from the other side of the room burst opened. It startled them both. 

Instead of darkness rushing in to consume them bright lights blinded them. Immediately the Doctor got between it and Rose. Even if she didn’t always need his protection it was an instinct he couldn’t fight.

A woman strode into the room, past the light of torches. Every step she took was filled with confidence and every sway of her hips was a challenge. Two men flanked her. One with a scar down the side of his face and the other had eyes that made Rose sad. They were eyes that had seen too much. It reminded her of the Doctor. 

A slim girl with her long dark hair in a ponytail trailed behind. Distracted by the handheld computer strapped to her forearm she muttered something Rose did not catch. But it sounded displeasing. 

The woman in the lead had a gun strapped to each hip and wore a well used brown leather jacket. One of those, pilots favoured during the second world war. Her hair was a mass of wild curls piled high on her head. Her lips spread in a smile as she spotted the Doctor. A smile of secrets shared. Like a joke only her and the Doctor were in on. 

"Hello, sweetie," she said.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·


	28. Lie to me

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

"I don't know who you are," the Doctor told them all. "But you need to get out of here now. You need to leave."

"What did I tell you," the woman turned back to the girl behind her, ignoring the Doctor. "Two human lifeforms."

"You were right," the girl allowed. 

The woman flipped her hair out of her eyes. She looked like a female version of Indiana Jones. It made Rose glance down at her self critically. She was in jeans and a jumper and a grey jacket with an array of handy pockets. Compared to this woman Rose looked terribly ordinary. 

"Get out now," the Doctor told the group again. 

The woman sashayed over to him and held out her hand. "Professor River Song," she introduced herself.

"Oh, no,” the Doctor groaned. “You're archeologists, aren't you?"

He did not take the woman's hand but instead his lips twisted in disgust. The Doctor was a time traveller. He laughed in the face of archaeologists. They guessed at history. He lived it. 

"Indeed," River Song replied, letting her hand fall with a smile. "Well some of us at least," she said, winking at the guy with the scar. "This is Jonathan Fox," Professor Song said, pointing at the guy with the sad eyes. "Miss Evangelista." She pointed to the girl who gave them a small wave. "And Drake." She indicated the guy with the scar. 

He locked eyes with Rose, a crocked smile spreading on his lips. He was holding some big weapon. Something resembling a shotgun but far more advanced. He leaned the gun casually against his shoulder.

"Well ain't ye a beaut'," he said. His accent sounded strangely Australian. 

But perhaps if many planets had a north, Rose thought, then maybe they also had a down under. 

The Doctor was looking from the bloke to Rose and back again while River Song was simply rolling her eyes.

"No," the Doctor tried again, clearly flummoxed. "Leaving. You're all leaving."

"We're not leaving, Doctor," River Song said. Rose didn't notice it at first but the Doctor did. He hadn't told them who he was. "We came here to get a few things," Professor Song was saying, not paying attention to the surprised look on the Doctor's face. "Not leaving until we got them."

"Well, I detect no more lifeforms," the girl at the back, Miss Evangelista, said as she looked at her computer. "I'm sure this time," she added.

"I should really listen to him though," Rose said. She took one step to the side, revealing the human bones behind her. 

Miss Evangelista gasped at the sight. But the only thing that suggested River Song had even been surprised was her eyes widening ever so slightly. 

River made her way passed Rose and hunkered down next to the bones. She got a scanner out of her pocket and ran it over them. 

"The bones are stripped clean," she said. "Perfectly clean."

"That is why you need to leave," the Doctor insisted. 

River Song straightened and turned to him."You know what it is then?" she asked. "You know what happened to this ship?"

"I know what it appears to be but it's not possible," he said.

"Why not?" Rose wanted to know. 

The Doctor's eyes moved from River to Rose. They finally fasten on Rose. "Because it can't be here. Not on a spaceship. It doesn't make sense.*

"What exactly can't be 'ere then?" Drake asked.

"Vashta Nerada."

The Doctor said it with just a touch of reluctant respect. It made them all pause, his tone making it clear this was not something to be taking lightly. 

"And what's that?" Drake was the one who finally spoke.

"It's a swarm," the Doctor explained. "But they live in forests. Not on spaceships."

"Swarm?" River Song asked.

"Yes," the Doctor confirmed. "They do that," he pointed to the bones in the corner. 

"They eat flesh?" Miss Evangelista's nose wrinkled in disgust.

"And why should we believe you?" Drake asked the Doctor.

"Because I'm right," the Doctor told him.

"Gonna need a bit more than that, mate."

"No, you don't," Professor Song said. "If he says there are flesh-eating swarms on this ship then there are flesh-eating swarms on this ship."

"We're just gonna believe this random guy?" Drake asked, pointing his hand at the Doctor. "How did you even get here, no other ships were docked."

"Not the point," River interrupted before the Doctor had a chance to say anything. River turned to Drake. "I trust him, that is all you need to know," River said. After a few moments Drake gave a shrug.

"Fine," he said. "At least Sheila over there ‘s cute."

"Oi," Rose said. "Watch it or you're gonna get a smack you are." 

Drake's lips spread in a smile at this. "Think I might like that," he said.

"Alright, enough," the Doctor said, his voice hard. "You all need to get out of here now."

"Sorry, Doctor but we're not going yet," River said.

"You don't need to go you need to run," the Doctor insisted. “Thought I was clear about that.”

"Runnin 's all well and good, mate," Drake said. "But how we kill 'em is better."

"You don't," the Doctor told him sharply. "It's a swarm. That gun of yours won't do a thing. Just look around," he said. "No escape-pods ejected. No life forms. The whole crew were all taken out in a matter of days."

"Two," Rose said from behind him. He looked back at her, his eyebrows raised. "Two days," she clarified, looking up from the journal.

"Does it say anything about where they came from?" the Doctor asked, a hint of hope colouring his tone. Perhaps if they understood how this was possible they could somehow find a way out of it. But Rose shook her head.

"Don't think so," she said.

"Right, of course it doesn't. Didn't have time to figure that out. Too busy dying."

"So what do we do?" River asked. Her tone was sharp and clear, quite effectively focusing the Doctor on her. It was quite impressive. Not a lot of people could do that.

"They appear like shadows to you. It's the only way to spot them. So just stay out of the shadows," he told them. "Stay out of the shadows."

"Miss Evangelista!" River Song called.

"Professor Song."

"Find me a route to the cargo bay," she said. "And make it quick, I don't much fancy dying here today." 

The Doctor's eyes widened as he looked at her. "Nothing in that cargo bay could be worth it," he remarked. He obviously thought he'd been clear enough. Few things were worth dying horribly over. Certainly nothing in a cargo bay. But Professor Song didn't look like someone who got scared easily.

"Ah mate, try like thirty million credits ," Drake told him.

"That's what you're getting for this?" the Doctor asked.

"Curtesy of the Lux Cooperation," Miss Evangelista said while tapping away on her computer. 

The Doctor walked over to Professor Song, clearly having decided that she was the one to convince. Rose kept flipping through the pages of the journal. It wasn't all diary entries. There were quotes and poetry and drawings in there too. It was someone's mind and soul between those pages. She began to understand why, whoever it was had clung to it as they died.

"Soo," Rose heard a deep Aussie drawl right next to her. "What's a nice girl like you doin' in a place like this, eh?" 

Rose glanced up at the bloke, Drake. He was smiling crookedly at her. Upon closer inspection she could tell he wasn't as old as she'd initially thought. Which would account for his lack of originality when it came to pick up lines. He was probably around her age, but the scar down the right side of his face easily added a few years. 

Rose returned to leafing through the journal. "Oh, you know," she said. "Just seeing the sights." 

He chuckled. The sound was rich and amused and above all things honest. It made Rose glance back up at him. 

"Same here," he said with a nod. 

He leaned down a little closer to her. He smelled faintly of something sweet. Some kind of candy she couldn't quite place but that brought memories of her childhood to mind. 

"So what's this book then?" he asked. 

"The thoughts of a dead man," Rose said with a touch of sadness. "It's also currently our only account of what happened here."

"So what does it say?" Drake asked. "Except that we are all gonna die bloody that is."

"No, that pretty much sums it up," Rose confirmed. "Seems it was just a few people at first. Then it spread through the ship. Darkness. Panic."

"Well he was a cheery fellow wasn't he." Drake glanced back at the bones. 

"Hard to be cheerful when everyone's dying around you, I suppose." Rose flipped another page, most of her attention on the book. 

Drake shifted so he was next to Rose, able to survey the room. "So anyway, what's this deal with you two?" he asked, nodding his head in the Doctor's direction. 

Rose glanced up. The Doctor was still talking to River Song. She was holding some blue book in her hands and whatever they were discussing it seemed to have stumped him. She fought the impulse to reach across the bond to try and see what he was feeling. 

"Two of you a thing or...?"

"That would be none of your business... mate." Rose gave Drake a crooked smile, taking the bite out of her words. 

"Ah, I see. Complicated then, eh." He nodded knowingly.

"You have no idea."

Drake fished something out of his pocket then. That sweet smell Rose noticed before grew stronger. Rose glanced up to see him popping something into his mouth. He caught her looking and opened his hand to show her what he held. Rose started.

"Jelly Babies?" she asked in disbelief. "They can't still have Jelly Babies. Haven't had one of them since I was kid."

"What you mean still?" he asked. "And why not?"

"No reason," Rose said, shaking her head.

"Want one?"

Rose hesitated only for a moment before she snatched one out of Drake's outstretched hand and popped it into her mouth. 

"Good, right?" 

Rose nodded. 

"Can't seem to get enough of 'em," Drake said. He downed the last ones in his hand.

"Drake!" River Song called from across the room. "Stop trying to flirt. We got a route, time to head out."

"Comin' Professor," he said. "See you around, blondie," he told Rose and gave her a wink before hurrying over to River and the others. Rose walked over to the Doctor's side.

"Not leaving then?" she asked him.

"No," he replied, his eyes locked on River as she took her team and headed out the way they'd come.

"You alright?" Rose asked, remembering the stricken look on his face as he'd stood speaking to River.

"Yeah, fine," he replied. Rose knew what that 'fine' meant and it had never meant fine. "Come on," he said and made to follow River and the others. Rose took a step but stopped. Looking down at book in her hands she made a quick decision. She twirled on her heal and went and placed the journal back where it belonged.

"Thanks for the loan," she said softly. "Sorry." She got back to her feet and hurried to the Doctor who'd waited for her at the door.

"It was quick," the Doctor assured as she reached him. Rose nodded. 

She saw his hand twitch, beginning to move towards hers. But he stopped the motion. His hand tightening into fist. His gaze dropped to the floor. 

Rose bit back the frustration, the hurt that he didn't even dare to touch her. She walked passed him.

The Doctor and Rose followed River Song and her team. They didn't feel like they could just abandon them after all. Even though they had every intention of getting them to the TARDIS and out of there rather than running around in the cargo bay and getting themselves killed. But that meant finding a new route back to the ballroom. 

"On a scale of one to my mums cooking, just how bad is this?" Rose whispered to the Doctor.

"I shouldn't have brought you here," the Doctor said instead of answering that. "I'm sorry."

"This is still what we do isn't it?" Rose said. "We help people."

The Doctor shoved his hands in his pockets and didn't reply. 

Miss Evangelista was leading them, her eyes on her computer. "We can take a short cut through the kitchens," she said, indicating a big door. 

Drake and Jonathan Fox took the lead. Fox opening the door while Drake aimed his gun. Rose figured the gun-waving was either for show or comfort. Since if anyone was miraculously left alive they were unlikely to be a threat and he couldn't very well take out a flesh-eating-swarm with bullets. 

Carefully the two men entered with River Song and Miss Evangelista following. The Doctor and Rose brought up the rear. 

Everyone stopped once they'd entered the kitchens. It was dark. Not so dark that they couldn't see, light coming from port holes placed high up near the ceiling. They cast beams of moonlight in diagonals across the room. But the shadows were dark. Very dark. 

"You got any life-sign readings?" the Doctor asked Miss Evangelista. 

"Nothing," she said. She spun around, looking a little unsure. 

Drake and Fox walked carefully onwards through the room. 

"Don't touch the shadows," the Doctor warned them. 

They stepped in the beams of moonlight, River following.

"Wait!" Evangelista called out then. "I've got movement. I think." She looked at her small computer. 

The Doctor clasped Rose's arm and pulled her with him. Like he wasn't sure she'd come of her own accord and equally sure he couldn't allow her to be more than a decimetre or two away from him. 

"Where?" he asked Miss Evangelista.

"Um..." she said hesitantly. 

Rose tore free from the Doctor's grip. He gave her a glare. One that said, stay put. So Rose spitefully took a step away from him, her eyes roaming the room trying to see something in the shadows.

"I can't seem to pinpoint it," Miss Evangelista continued, spinning around. Her eyes flickered from her computer screen to their surroundings and back again.

The Doctor took Miss Evangelista's arm. "Here," he said. Holding up her arm he got his sonic out of his pocket and ran it over the computer. A few seconds and the computer started beeping frantically.

"Behind us, " the Doctor called out. He let go of Evangelista and urged her to follow River and the others while he reached for Rose. 

Ignoring him Rose hurried passed, leaving the Doctor to stand between the rest of them and whatever was coming. Good. The way he liked it. Him between Rose and whatever the universe threw at them. 

"Miss Evangelista," Professor Song urged. "Talk to me!"

"Ah.. it's still coming," she said.

"I can't see anything." Rose's gaze darted around. 

"Door," the Doctor said. 

Everyone's eyes fixed on it. Darkness was reaching in under the frame. A shadow that steadily grew. Immediately it seemed to latch on to shadows that were already there, camouflaging itself. 

The Doctor's eyes were fixed on the entry point as he urged everyone back. 

"They’re gone.... Or they've stopped," Evangelista said, the fear in her voice making the words stilted. "Why would they stop?"

"Maybe they left?" Drake suggested doubtfully. 

The Doctor spun, searching their surroundings. Marching over to a big silver door he yanked it opened. The stench of decay and rotten food assailed them. 

"What the hell," Drake muttered, shaking his head as though he could avoid the stench. "You think to scare them away with this wonderful smell?"

The Doctor grabbed a piece of chicken bone that still had a fair amount of chicken on it. "They won't care."

The Doctor marched back to the front of the group. He glanced questionably at Evangelista. She gave him a nod as if to say the Vashta Nerada were still staying put. That or they’d just nicely left like Drake had suggested. 

The Doctor tossed the bone into one of the shadows. Half a breath and it was licked clean. The pale white bone clattered to the floor. Every single string of meat gone. 

"Run," the Doctor said, his breath short and shallow. He spun. "Run!"

No one needed to the told thrice. They bolted.

Rushing on through the kitchen they tried to avoid the shadows around them. Who knew how fast they were. How many they'd already infected. 

"They're coming!" Evangelista screamed, her eyes glued to the computer screen as she ran. 

They crashed through the kitchen doors and burst out into hallway. Rose thought she could hear a buzzing behind her. Like swarming insects. But it was just blood rushing in her ears. 

"Left!" Miss Evangelista called out. 

Everyone turned left. Another hallway with panelled walls, frayed carpets and darkness so black it seemed to eat the light around it. 

"Stop!" the Doctor screamed. He got a hold of Rose's sleeve and yanked her back. She crashed into his chest. Wrapping his arm swiftly around her he steadied them both. "Back! Get back!"

Stumbling back they all stared at the darkness. It did not move. It just... waited. 

Both the Doctor and Rose turned their heads around in perfect unison. The shadows had caught up with them. They filled the hallway behind them, blocking any chance for escape. The darkness was thick and impenetrable. Rose felt like she could even feel the hunger there. Deep in the black. Itching to consume them. 

Drake was uselessly aiming his shotgun back and forth between the shadows. The Doctor's arm tightened around Rose. 

"Miss Evangelista?” River Song's voice trembled. Her eyes did not stray from the darkness. "What's bellow us?" she asked. 

Her fingers ran rapidly over the keys as she answered. "Stairs," Evangelista said. "A set of stairs."

"Any movement?" the Doctor wanted to know. 

Evangelista shook her head. "I don't think so."

"Look out," River told them. 

Getting one of her guns out of its holster River aimed it at the floor between them. Rose recognised the gun. It looked exactly like the sonic blaster she'd seen Jack Harkness use the very first time she'd met him.

A blue light emitted from the gun, accompanied by a swift hum. The blue light created a perfect square hole in the floor. Exactly like Jack’s gun. In a rush Drake put away his weapon in a holster strapped to his back. Jonathan waved Miss Evangelista over who snapped her computer shut. Rushing to his side, she let him take a hold of her hands and lower her down into the hole. 

Drake got River and did the same. Rose heard the thumb of their boots as both women hit the stairs below. 

"Come on," Drake told Rose. His voice hushed and urgent. 

Reluctantly the Doctor released her. Taking Rose's hands Drake lowered her down as far as he could before he let go. It wasn't a long drop. But it was enough. Rose's barely healed foot gave way under her. Biting her lip Rose swallowed the cry of pain. The Doctor landed lightly next to her. 

Rose tried her best not to show the effort it took for her to get back on her feet. But the Doctor noticed. Of course he did. 

Taking Rose’s arm to steady her, his gaze roamed down trying to determine the fault. His eyes caught on her foot. Her body betrayed her as she tried to put her weight on it. She winced. 

Drake and Fox jumped down to the rest of them and Professor Song raised her blaster. There was nothing but darkness above. She fired it at the hole. The ceiling returned. No indicator it had ever been a hole at all.

“I think we’re clear,” Miss Evangelista said.

There was an audible sigh of relief from the whole group. 

"Sit down," the Doctor unceremoniously ordered Rose. 

She shook her head, "I'm fine."

His grip tightened around her arm and her gaze shot up to his. There was impatience there. Like things would go a lot smoothing if she simply did what she was told. The look made Rose's ire rise. If there was one thing she did not stand it was the Doctor trying to tell her what to do when she did not need it. 

Pulling her arm free of his hold she gave him a glare back. Letting her defiance blaze. The Doctor might have tied her to him which meant she had to follow him to the ends of the universe but that did not mean he got to dictate how they got there. 

"I said, I'm fine," Rose repeated, her voice not much more than a growl. 

"It could be broken," the Doctor ground out. "Let me have a look."

"Stop treating me like glass, Doctor. I am not going to break."

Staring at her, the Doctor refused to back down. But Rose was equally stubborn. If not more so. She did not need him to coddle her. She had managed just fine without him for at least a year while he was off getting snuggly with doctor students or what not. 

Suddenly River Song appeared in their peripheral vision. "Whatever this is,* she said. "Perhaps we could do it later? she suggested.

"We need to find somewhere to stop," the Doctor told River without his eyes leaving Rose's for one second. "I need to have a look at her foot, it might be broken."

"It's not broken," Rose told him. "It's fine."

"See, Doctor, she's fine," River agreed readily with Rose. Rose would have appreciated the gesture if it had anything to do with being on Rose's side and not just a valiant attempt to get all of them going. 

Taking a step closer to Rose, the Doctor’s face darkened and Rose was forced to tilt her head back to even be able to look him in the eye.

"You are going to let me have a look at that foot, Rose Tyler," he told her in no uncertain terms.

"Rose Tyler?" River asked. "You're Rose Tyler?"

But neither the Doctor nor Rose paid her any mind

"I almost died once," Rose told the Doctor. "Once! And you turn into this overprotective ass." 

"Once?" the Doctor spat. "Once? Try a hundred times! You have no idea Rose. None, what it's like living with the constant fear of losing you." Taking a step back he ran his fingers though his hair, like he didn’t know what else to do with them. "You are so damn... jeopardy friendly!"

"I am not," Rose refuted.

"Barrage ballon, Rose!” the Doctor reminded her.

He turned to River who was still standing next to them. "In the middle of the London blitz," he told her. "Hanging from a barrage ballon during a German air raid! Oh, and she literally wore the Union Jack. Wore it."

"It was a fashion statement," Rose said folding her arms across her chest.

"A highly questionable choice," the Doctor said. 

"Shut it. I love that jumper." She gave him a warning glare. "Besides, that happened once. I don't understand your need to keep on bringing it up."

"First time she flew the TARDIS," the Doctor told River. "Landed us in the Cretaceous period. We nearly got eaten!"

"Accident," Rose refuted.

"Clockwork droids, Cybermen, Daleks, bloody Davros! Judoon on New Years Eve...!"

"Fine!" Rose interrupted him. "You've made your point."

"All though this is all very fascinating," Drake interrupted them. `”Maybe we should get going? In case you lot forgot we might still end up like that sorry sod upstairs so..."

"Yeah, good idea," Rose agreed. She turned away from the Doctor and began limping down the stairs.

"I'm still going to need to have a look at that foot," the Doctor said after her. 

Rose glanced back, prepared to tell him just where she'd stick her foot if he didn't leave her be. But her eyes caught on River Song and the words died on her lips. River was staring at Rose, the strangest expression on her face. Like she was seeing a ghost. And not a friendly one either. One that scared the hell out of her.

The Doctor made his way to Rose’s side. "Let's go," the Doctor said, pulling Rose reluctantly with him while River stared after them.

Trying really hard not to limp Rose made slow progress down the stairs. But she’d broken bones before. She knew what it felt like. There might have been some stress to the soft tissue of her foot when she landed. But that was it. She was sure of it.

"There's some kind of library here," Miss Evangelista said, pointing to the map on her computer. "It looks okay. No movement. Only two entry points. Round so no dark corners. Plus according to schematics there should be plenty of light in there. Lights help right?"

"Light slows them down, but it doesn't stop them," the Doctor said. 

Carful not to touch her bare skin the Doctor wrapped his arm round Rose’s waist to keep weight off her foot in case it was broken. Reluctantly she let him. She knew he would keep avoiding direct contact. Direct contact meant it was harder for him to hide whatever it was he wasn’t ready to tell her. Whatever it was she’d felt from him when she’d tripped and he’d caught her hand. 

They made it down the stairs. Miss Evangelista led them on, River by her side. It was dark here. The Doctor had turned the lights on for the whole ship, running on what was left of the emergency power. There was light in the ceiling but it flickered on and off. Like a dying insect trying to stay alive. 

"Over here," Miss Evangelista pointed to a door. It had once been gilded and polished but was now dirty and matted by time. 

Drake and Jonathan Fox made their way to the door first. Just like the last time Jonathan opened it and Drake stepped through, gun raised. They both disappeared inside. Light from inside the room spilled out, warm and welcoming. 

"I don't detect any movement," Miss Evangelista said, looking at her computer.

"Seems clear!' Drake called from inside the room. 

Despite the all clear everyone was cautious as they stepped into the room. The Doctor dug into his pocket and got his sonic screwdriver out. He raised it, the whirring sound filling Rose’s ears. More of the room lit up. The light wasn’t blinding but pleasant. And after the darkness they knew was still out there hunting them, it felt essential. 

The library was sure to have been beautiful once. As much as the grande ballroom. When it had been stacked with books and perhaps comfy chairs for reading in a private corner it must have been a pleasant escape. But now it was stacked mostly with boxes. A velvet sofa and a forgotten armchair here and there but not a single book left on the empty shelves. 

Entering last, River closed the door behind them. The Doctor tried to help Rose but she slipped out of his hold. She was determined she’d walk the last few steps alone. Proving she was indeed fine. 

Resigned, the Doctor let her. Watching her every step as she walked all the way to one of the old sofas. She sank down into it. Grateful for the break. A chance, if nothing else, to rest for a moment. She could smell the dust, heavy in her nose. The Doctor ambled over, hunkering down in front of her. 

“For my own piece of mind, Rose please.” Pleading eyes glanced up at hers and despite her stubbornness she couldn’t deny him. 

Giving him a nod, she let the Doctor take her foot and place it on his knee. Hastily he untied her laces and carefully pulled the shoe off. The Sonic was still in his hand. Rose watched as he ran the blue light over her foot. She thought he took a little longer than was necessary, taking the readings at least twice. 

“Satisfied?” Rose asked, eyebrows raised. 

“You’re fine,” he admitted. “No, new fractures.”

"See," Rose pointed out.

“I’d still like to wrap it though,” he said, his eyes on her foot and not on her. “Just to make it easier for you to walk.”

“Here.” Suddenly River was standing right next to them, holding out a handy roll of elasticised bandage. 

Hesitantly the Doctor took it. “Thanks,” he said, like he didn’t quite trust this bit of convenient kindness. 

Returning his attention to Rose he froze and Rose quickly realised why. If he was going to wrap her foot he was going to have to touch her skin. 

She could feel it. How the walls he’d built to block their connection intensified. It hurt. Physically hurt to the point where Rose snatched the roll away from him. 

“I can do it myself,” she said. 

Looking as though he was about to say something the Doctor opened his mouth only to close it again. Abruptly he straightened and left without another word.

Rose planted her foot on her own knee and began wrapping the bandage around it. She hoped she was doing it tight enough without it being too tight.

“What’s the matter with you two?”

Rose glanced up in surprise. She had not realised River had stayed when the Doctor left. 

“It’s nothing,” Rose muttered. 

“Doesn’t look like nothing.”

“And what would you know about it?” Rose’s irritation over all of it coloured her voice, making her tone rise when she had not meant it to. 

To be honest Rose didn’t quite understand River Song. Not so far. She acted as though she knew the Doctor. And the way she’d looked at Rose in the stairwell. Like Rose couldn’t possibly be real and she wasn’t sure what to do with the fact that she might. 

Professor Song, however was undeterred by Rose’s tone. Surprisingly she sat down next to her on the sofa. 

“I’d tell you it would probably help to talk about it,” River said. “But you already know that, right?” 

They sat in silence for a moment as Rose finished wrapping her foot. “He’s lying to me,” Rose said then, not sure why she was confiding this to a stranger. “Something bad happened and he’s too much of a coward to tell me the truth.” Rose shoved her foot back in her shoe. A little too roughly, causing her to wince. Ignoring the pain she tied the laces. 

“I’d say the Doctor is many things but never a coward,” River was saying. “Sometimes you just have to lie. To protect the ones you care about.” 

Rose looked over at River. The other woman’s eyes were filled with compassion. But a compassion that seemed stemmed from pity. Why would this woman, they’d never met pity them for a quarrel that had nothing to with her. Unless it was only Rose she was pitying. 

“The Doctor does what he thinks is right,” River explained, sounding like she thought she somehow knew the Doctor better than Rose did. “Or what he knows is right. You just have to trust him.” 

“Why are you talking about him like that?” Rose asked, feeling her chest contract painfully. She didn’t like what River was saying anymore than how she was saying it. 

“Like what?” River asked. 

Having finished tying her shoe laces Rose straightened up. “Like you know him,” Rose clarified. 

And the next words out of River’s mouth had the power to shatter Rose’s world. “Because I do,” she said. 

Rose’s vision swam before her. Another lie, she thought. Another betrayal. He’d promised. And yet they’d been with River Song for hours. Never once had the Doctor indicated to Rose that he knew her. Not once. Is that why he didn’t want to touch her? Because then Rose would find out about River. Whoever she was. 

This was a dark path. One Rose did not want to take. But if she couldn’t trust the Doctor who could she trust? No one. She’d left them all behind in another universe. For him. 

Desperately Rose thought there had to be some kind of explanation. 

“I haven’t met you, have I?” Rose found herself asking River. Perhaps it was one of those things Rose couldn’t remember. That her mind was protecting her against. When she lost control. 

"No," River was saying. "We've never met before. But he told me of you once.” 

The Doctor had told this woman about Rose? Had he told her about the two of them as well? About the bond? About everything?

“It took him a long time.” 

River was still talking but Rose wasn’t sure she could hear her anymore. Something drummed through Rose’s blood. Something ancient that demanded her attention. Something that wouldn’t allow for what River was insinuating. Something dark and possessive. Something that quite frankly scared the hell out of her. 

“He came when I called like he always does,” River said. 

Rose shook her head, trying to stay clear. Trying to take in River’s words. To hear them over the inferno whipping up inside that threatened to overtake her. 

“The psychic paper,” Rose managed to get out. “That was you?” Through the haze Rose saw River nodding. 

Suddenly Rose was on her feet. She didn’t feel the pain of her foot. If there a was any. All she felt was whatever was building up inside her. It was white hot and deafening. A scream and song. A battle cry and a lament. 

“Rose?” 

River had risen too, surprised at Rose’s sudden movement. The Doctor was leaning over Miss Evangelista's computer screen but the minute Rose got to her feet his head swivelled around. His eyes met hers and Rose saw his widen with fear. 

Rose tilted her head a little to the side, regarding him. Fear? Strange. The Doctor rushed over to her. Without hesitation this time he ceased her hands with his, wrapping his around her fingers. The bond responded immediately. Crackling like sparks igniting. But it wasn’t what it had been. What it should be. He was still blocking her. Still too afraid 

“What did you say to her?!” the Doctor barked at River. 

River took a stumbling step back, shaking her head. “Nothing,” she said. 

The Doctor’s attention snapped back to Rose, his fingers tightening around hers. “Rose?” 

That wasn’t her name, Rose thought. Not the one she’d given herself on that day so long ago when this had all been set in motion. 

Bad Wolf.

She wasn’t quite sure if she said it out loud or in her mind. But it didn’t matter. The man before her. Her storm would hear it. He would always hear her. 

The Doctor shook his head. One hand shot to Rose’s face. He touched her skin, desperate for a response. Her eyes glowed golden as she looked at him. 

Bad Wolf. The name she’d given herself when all the strings of time and space was at her fingertips. When she had destroyed the Dalek fleet knowing that would be the proof for Davros that she was the one. His weapon. When she’d brought Jack back. Made him immortal just so she couldn’t kill him when she needed him to get her to the Doctor to save him. To save them all.

What else had she done then? What other strings had she pulled?

“Rose...” The Doctor took a deep breath. “Please, listen to me. Whatever that woman told you is a lie. I can make it a lie. Trust me.”

“Trust?” There was a strange sort of echo to Rose’s voice. Like it wasn’t in just this one dusty room. But everywhere. Echoing through the very fabric of time itself. “You did not tell me about her,” Rose said. 

“I didn’t know.” The Doctor’s fingers trembled at her cheek, shaking with every word spoken. “She’s from my future. I don’t know her yet.” 

Between one blink of her eyes and the next the light vanished and the Doctor could see Rose in there again. She was always Rose but ever since the Gaming Station she had been a little of this too. And ever since he’d tied them together he had seemed to ignite some spark that had laid dormant. Something he found he couldn’t quite understand. Something he couldn’t control. Something far beyond just giving her piece of his soul.

Rose turned her head, River was still standing there, looking scared and confused. 

“You’re from his future?” Rose asked her. 

River nodded hesitantly. “It’s our curse,” River said. “Always travelling in opposite directions.” 

“You said the Doctor had told you about me,” Rose pressed. 

“Yes,” River confirmed “Once.” 

“River.” The Doctor’s tone was dark with warning. 

“What did he say?” 

River’s gaze shot between Rose and the Doctor, clearly at a loss as to what was going on but smart enough to be weary of it. 

“He said he loved someone once. A girl named Rose Tyler.” 

“Once...” A tear fell down Rose cheek as the word fell of her lips. She turned back to the Doctor. “Once,” she repeated. As in not anymore. 

The Doctor clutched Rose’s hand to his chest. “Time can be rewritten,” he said. His eyes were intent on hers, his other hand still at her cheek. His touch was still making the bond sing as much as he would allow. Euphoria and agony. Want and restraint.

“Doctor...” Absentmindedly Rose recognised that she’d probably never heard so much pain in a single word as when River uttered that one. 

“Something’s wrong with me,” Rose said, another tear spilling over the rim of her eyes. River was forgotten between one thought and the next. 

The Doctor shook his head “No, Rose,” he said. You’re perfect. It’s the bond. It... It’s my fault. I did this to you.” 

He raised her hand and kissed it before placing it back against his chest. Rose could feel the dual beats of his hearts against the back of her hand. 

“Please, you have to stop,” he said. 

"Then tell me you won’t leave me," Rose said, her eyes searching his. "Lie if you have to."

“I don’t have to lie,” the Doctor assured quickly. “I would never leave you, Rose. I can’t.” 

"Make me believe it," Rose asked of him. "Just make me believe it. Please. Make me believe we'll always be together. Lie to me."

The Doctor glanced once around the room, Rose seeing the unshed tears rimming his eyes. She knew that every eye were on them. It didn’t mater. Such a trivial thing never could. 

His gaze returned to hers then, having found strength or inspiration, Rose didn’t know. 

“I would die before I left you,” the Doctor vowed. “You have to know that.” 

“How can I?” Rose asked, drawing in a trembling breath. “You won’t tell me why you’re blocking me. Is it because of River?” 

The Doctor looked distraught at that. So much so that Rose didn’t think she could even entertain the thought for a second more. 

“I’m sorry I have to do that,” the Doctor said. “I know it hurts, Rose. I know. I won’t be able to keep it up much longer.”

“Then don’t.” The words were so quiet they were nothing more than a breath of air. 

He drew her close then. With lips that trembled he kissed her forehead. Lingering there like just the touch of her skin gave him the strength to keep breathing. 

“Do you have such little faith in me...” he asked. “...that you think I could ever leave you? I could much sooner tear my own beating heart from my body.” His whole body trembled at the thought of it. “Trust me when I tell you Rose, that I have made very sure I can never lose you again.” 

In the warmth of his arms and to the beat of his hearts Rose finally found some resemblance of peace. After all, she knew she could not be with him forever. That was not a surprise. There would come a time when he had to go on without her. And if River truly was from his future than all that meant was that he wouldn’t be alone. 

Rose took a deep steadying breath. Letting her heart quiet down. And the fire that had been raging through her blood at the thought of losing the Doctor fade to a quiet flame. 

Right now time was theirs. In that she would trust. Even if he could not yet tell her what it was he was so afraid of. She would trust in him. She owed him that. 

"That's it," the Doctor whispered softly, rocking them from side to side. Like she was a mere babe in his arms that only required a cuddle to sleep. Rose required more than that. She required the truth. And he would give it. Soon he wouldn’t be able to hide it any longer. The mere mental exhausting of blocking of the bond was nearly enough to make him pass out. 

He wanted to hold Rose forever but the effort was wearing on him. Touching her skin directly made the bond ignite with such force he almost couldn’t keep it at bay. And he certainly wouldn’t be able to for long. 

Reluctantly he let Rose go. There was no more golden light in her eyes, nothing simmering under her skin. No Bad Wolf. 

“You okay?” he asked, combing his fingers through her hair, still loath to relinquish her.

Rose nodded. Urging her back down on the sofa, the Doctor noticed her legs shaking. He didn’t know what kind of strength she’d called upon yet again to regain control. Or how much of a toll that took. By all accounts she shouldn’t be able to do that. But he guessed such a simple thing as impossible did not exist for Rose Tyler. 

He finally managed to release her and immediately he turned on River. 

River had backed away. What she’d witnessed between the Doctor and this girl he’d claimed to once have loved had shaken her to her very core. She watched the Doctor as he came walking over. His stride almost casual. That was the first sign, she thought. He might be a different man now from when River knew him but this had not changed. It was when the Doctor was calm that you truly needed to be afraid. 

Not stopping until he was close enough for River to smell him, the Doctor took a breath before he spoke. 

“You do not speak to her again,” he said. “Am I understood?” 

“I didn’t lie to her,” River pointed out, trying to keep her voice from trembling. Reminding herself that she knew this man. Knew him better than she knew herself. He would never hurt her. Never hurt someone innocent. But how innocent was River? Really?

“I don’t care,” the Doctor said, biting of the words. “You hurt her again and you won’t live to regret it. Do I make myself clear, Professor Song?”

River had never seen the Doctor like this. She’d seen him fierce and frightening and protective of those he cared about. But she’d never seen him devoted to the point of obsession. Never seen a single touch from another heal and break him at the same time. She realised she’d never seen him in love. 

River drew back, needing space to breath, to function “I never understood,” she said as she looked at him. His eyes dark and burning their way down to her very soul with his conviction. With his belief in this one thing. In the protection of this one girl. “You tried to tell me,” she continued. “But I never understood.” 

He watched her a moment longer, making sure his message hit home before turning and walking away. With every step River’s heart broke a little more inside her chest. She’d thought she’d had something. Some important part of the Doctor. But perhaps she’d never had anything at all. For what was left to give when he’d given it all to Rose?

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·


	29. If I falter

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

"Is it just me here Foxie, or is there some weird tension in this room?" Drake said as he stood leaning back against one of the bookshelves, watching.

Jonathan Fox was standing next to him. The pretty blonde girl, Rose was sitting on one of the sofas. She was clutching her hands in her lap and seemed to be taking long, deep breaths. She was visibly shaken. Why exactly Drake didn't quite understand. But it obviously had something to do with that Doctor bloke. 

He was currently with Miss Evangelista, both of them talking in low voices as they discussed something on her computer. But the man's eyes kept shifting to Rose, only to snap back. Like it was an involuntary action. Like he couldn't stop himself. 

Then there was Professor Song. One of the most impressive women Drake had ever met. She’d found him on one of the border planets of Sigma Y. She'd saved his neck. Quite literally. Because the good town folk had been about to hang him. Through not fault of his own of course. Just a drink or two too many and a foolish bet involving robbing a Mayor. 

Professor Song was like no woman Drake had ever met. Fierce and sexy and to be honest probably a little mad. And Drake had never, not once seen that impressive curly haired ruffled. Until now. 

Drake shifted his position as he recalled the Doctor and Rose when they'd stood there. Close enough to touch each other and barely doing it. A brush of their fingers or a touch of a hand and yet Drake had felt uncomfortable watching it. Like he was intruding on a moment not meant to be shared. 

But his discomfiture was nothing compared to the pain that had washed over Professor Song's face. Like her whole world had fallen apart before her eyes. 

"Yeah, somethin's definitely goin' on here, mate," Drake said. He turned to Fox who remained silent as always. "You know this whole not speaking thing, when you gonna tell me what's up with that eh?" Fox turned his dark, watchful eyes on Drake but remained just as mute. "Never? You're saying never ain't ya? Yeah?" Drake squinted at the other man. "If you're not gonna talk you really need to work on your facial expressions. 'Cus I'm getting nothing here."

"He doesn't speak because he's cursed," River said as she came up to stand next to Drake.

"Cursed?" Drake turned his head from River to Jonathan Fox. "You never said you were cursed." Fox turned his eyes back to the room without giving any sort of reply.

"Every word he speaks is doomed to be a prediction," River explained. "So he says nothing. At least that's what the monks told me. No idea if it's true though."

"So why is he even here then?" He turned back to Fox. "No offence, mate." Fox only shook his head, as though he found it all slightly amusing.

"Owe him a debt," River said. "This was what he wanted."

"And how did he tell you that?" Drake asked, leaning down towards River and winking. 

River glanced up at him, one sarcastic eyebrow rising up slowly. "He wrote it down," she said. 

Drake laughed. "Alright, Professor," he said "So are you telling us what the deal is then?"

"Deal?" River leaned back against the bookcase, folding her arms across her chest.

"With those two and you." Drake indicated Rose and the Doctor.

"There's no deal," River said, a warning in her voice.

"Oh, there's a deal. We can all see a deal," Drake said. "Can't we?" he asked, nudging Fox next to him. 

Fox glanced their way but didn't seem overly interested in the conversation.

"Spill the beans, Professor," Drake said, his insatiable curiosity as always getting in the way of his common sense. "Is she his mistress? Or are you?"

River straightened."You listen to me," she interrupted him in a hard voice. Drake immediately shut up. "...that is the greatest man I have ever known. You will never meet another like him and right now he might be the only thing keeping you alive. If you don't show some respect I will personally, leave you here and let these Vashda Nerada have you for dinner."

Drake's gaze dropped from Professor Song's. He swore she could be flirting with him one second and the next she was giving him such a verbal lashing he thought he might be back home hearing from his folks how much of a disappointment he was.

"Are we clear?" River demanded. 

Drake nodded. "Clear as the frozen lakes of Illona, Professor," he said. 

River raised her eyebrows at Fox who immediately held up his hands as to assure her he had nothing to do with any of this.

"Good," River said. 

She watched for a moment as the Doctor left Miss Evangelista and walked over to Rose. She shouldn't be looking. It hurt. This Doctor was so different from the man she knew. So young. So hopeful. Scarred but not broken.

The Doctor hunkered down in front of Rose, gazing up at this girl like she was his only reason for breathing. But he was hesitant too. Careful. Even when he'd wrapped his arms around her he'd held her with care. Like she was made of glass and he feared he'd break her. 

What kind of love was that? What kind of life could they lead if he barely dared to touch her? How could he be happy? 

Somehow River finally managed to tear her eyes away. She'd never been a masochist, no point in starting now. 

She walked over to Miss Evangelista. "I imagine you two have mapped out a route," River said as she got to her. 

Evangelista looked up from her computer. "He wanted to find the quickest way to the ballroom. Said that was our way out. Tried to convince me to forget about the cargo."

"Maybe he's right," River allowed.

"I was thinking the same thing," Miss Evangelista said. She glanced over at Drake and Fox. "I doubt the boys will agree though. Not Drake at least. If he wasn't with you that boy would be a pirate."

"That's why he is with me," River said. "So I can keep him out of trouble."

"And yet you brought us here," Evangelista said with a smile. 

River backed up. "Hey, I had no idea shadows would want to eat us." She turned to the rest of the room. "We have a new route everyone. Let's head out." 

Drake and Fox immediately straightened and moved to follow her. River forced herself to face the Doctor.

"She okay with continuing on?" River asked him.

Rose got to her feet. "She is," steel in her voice. She didn't appear weak, River thought. Not at all. If nothing else Rose seemed rather resilient, stubborn and infinitely defiant. So why did the Doctor treat her like one gust of strong wind might shatter her right in front of him?

Leaving the library River Song took the lead with Evangelista at her side. The Doctor and Rose walked behind them and Drake and Jonathan Fox brought up the rear. 

Shadows moved along the walls and curled in the corners. The feeling of being watched was ever present. They all felt it. Like a tickling at the back of their necks. But if the Vashda Nerada were in the shadows, watching. Then what were they waiting for?

The lights hanging form the ceiling had begun to sway. Like instead of the ship being on its side in the water they were sailing the high sees. 

"Something's going on, isn't it?" Rose asked the Doctor. 

He glanced up at the lights. "Feels like the artificial gravity might be failing."

"What happens once it does?"

"Depends on if it all fails at once or not. Most likely it will slowly degrade. It will shift and fluctuate. Moving around will be... difficult."

"Great," Rose muttered.

"This way," Miss Evangelista said, turning a corner.

"Hold up," Drake said, stopping. "That can't be right. We're going backwards."

"We are going the right way," River assured.

"Naw, naw," Drake insisted, shaking his head. "If we wanna get down to the cargo bay we need to head that way," he said, pointing in the other direction, down a dark and dingy hallway.

"We're not heading for the cargo bay," River told him.

"Come again?"

"It's not worth it."

"Is this a joke? Are you joking?" Drake asked.

"Not a joke."

"Thirty million credits, professor," Drake reminded her.

"No amount of credits is worth getting eaten over," Miss Evangelista chimed in.

"Listen to your friends," the Doctor urged him.

Drake looked at Professor Song, a certain hint of desperation in his eyes.

"We've come this far," he said. "You know what that money would mean to me." 

River's eyes were filled with understanding. "I know Drake, but Miss Evangelista is right. You can’t spend that money if you’re dead."

"Who says we're gonna die eh?" Drake countered. "We got this guy you seem to think can walk on water. He'll get us there." He indicated the Doctor.

"If you go down there, you're gonna die." Rose's eyes flashed gold. It was just for a moment. But it made Drake pause. 

"What the hell...?" He took a step towards her and the Doctor moved to intercept him. "What's wrong with her eyes?" Drake asked. 

But it wasn't just the girl's eyes. It was both of them. Where had they come from? How did River know them? Why did she trust some guy in a skinny suit and spikey hair that acted as though he was so much better than everyone else? And since when did they let strangers get between them and a payday? 

"There is nothing wrong with her eyes," the Doctor said.

"They were on fire, I saw it! It was the same before."

"What are you talking about?" River stepped forwards, unable to hide her curiosity.

"Didn't you see it?" Drake asked. "In the library. She... glowed or something."

River was looking from Rose and the Doctor to Drake and back again.

"What is he talking about?" River asked the Doctor.

"Delirious, if you ask me," the Doctor replied evenly. 

River's eyes narrowed on Rose and Rose stared back at her. Her eyes were hazel brown, the kind that changed to whiskey in sunlight. Pretty. Sure. But quite ordinary.

"Drake, her eyes are fine," River tried to convince him. 

Drake took a step towards Rose but the Doctor was already in his way. "You said I would die. Why? Why'd you say that?"

Rose's eyes shifted from River to Drake. "Of course you will," she said, her eyes normal, her voice even. "We have no idea how many shadows are infected. It could be all of them. And you want to go traipsing about in the belly of the ship? Personally I wouldn’t do that for all the jelly babies in the universe."

Drake watched her suspiciously. "What was that thing with you're eyes then?" Drake asked, flickering his fingers in her direction.

"Trick of the light?" the Doctor suggested.

"Are we going or what?" Miss Evangelista interrupted from behind them. 

River walked over to Drake. She placed a hand on his arm. "It's not worth your life," she told him again. 

Drake glanced over at Rose one last time before he growled with obvious frustration. "Oh, alright," he agreed. 

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. 

"That must be the smartest choice you ever made," Evangelista teased Drake before turning and leading them on down the hallway. 

"What's down there, that is so important anyway?" the Doctor asked River. 

She glanced back at him over her shoulder. "A data core," she said. "Property of the Lux corporation."

"What kind of data core could be worth this much?" Rose asked. 

River shook her shoulders. "Don't know," she said. "Not part of my job."

"But you said you were an archeologist," Rose pointed out. "What interest do you have in a data core?"

"None," River replied. "But this ship, it's famous. No one knows what happened to it. So when it was finally found I simply couldn't resist."

"It never crossed your mind that whatever happened was something bad?" the Doctor asked. 

River glanced back at him with a smile. "Definitely," she replied. "Why else would I come?"

Miss Evangelista had stopped at a heavy hatch door ahead of them.

"We need to get through here," she said.

"Out of the way," Drake pushed his way to the front.

"It's som kind of engine room," Evangelista explained. "It should have a hatch to reach the upper deck." 

Clasping the wheel at the centre of the door Drake pushed. Nothing happened.

"Damn thing's stuck," he muttered. 

Jonathan Fox joined him. They both pushed, muscles straining, sweat beading on their foreheads. 

"Maybe we should take another route," the Doctor suggested carefully.

"I agree," Rose said, both of them taking a step back. Maybe the door was sealed shut for a reason.

"We almost have it," Drake ground out. 

The door flew opened, knocking Fox back. A floodway of water burst forth. Drake was pushed out of the way by the crushing force of it. Grabbing Rose's hand the Doctor yanked her around. They ran. Water came barreling after them, the sound deafening.

Rose dared a glance back. She couldn't see the others. There was only water.

"Don't let go!" the Doctor screamed, his hand tightening around hers a second before the water hit them. 

It knocked their feet out from under them. Rose tried to hold on to the Doctor but she was torn from his grasp. She hit what she thought might be the wall. There was water everywhere. She couldn't breathe. There was no way of knowing what was up and what was down. She was being knocked about like a rag-doll. 

Suddenly everything seemed to shift. The artificial gravity. It must have started to fail. It was like being stuck in a barrel as it rolled down a hill. Only the barrel was filled with water and there was no air and you couldn't breathe.

Rose tried desperately to grab a hold of something, anything to stop the momentum. But there was too much water, too much force. She hit something else, hard. It made her instinctively gasp for breath but there was no air, only water. Panic ceased her. No air. Water. Everywhere water. She was going to drown.

Tumbling down, her vision was turning black at the edges. Not that it mattered. There was nothing to see. Suddenly she landed hard. Water hammered away against her. She clung desperately to what she thought might be bars of some kind. Slowly the water began to ebb out.

Rose coughed, desperate to get the water out of her lungs. She dragged in a lungful of air. Despite the pain, nothing had ever felt better. She coughed again, spitting out more water. Her body felt battered from the beating it had taken. Laying still for a while she resigned herself to just breathing. 

"Rose? Rose, you alive?" Rose blinked the water out of her eyes and looked towards the sound of the voice. River was lying a few feet away, her mass of curls a drenched mess.

"I'm alive," Rose croaked. "You?"

"I'll live," River replied. 

Both Rose and River seemed to be lying against a metal railing. Rose glanced down between the bars. Far down were big machinery, the water disappearing between the cogs and gears. If she had to guess, she would guess it was the ships engine. It was quiet now. Rose closed her eyes, the altitude making her a little nauseous. 

Rose was just about to struggle to rise when she felt the artificial gravity shift again.

"River," Rose said warningly. "Hang on to something." But there was no time. It started out slowly. Rose could feel the tug in her belly. Then it flipped. Like a light switch. Both Rose and River tumbled down onto what was actually the floor.

Rose struggled up on her feet. Her head was spinning madly. All these gravity shifts were messing with her balance. She stumbled, catching herself against the railing. The floor was grated, the walls a dull metal. She saw the arched exit from whence they must have fallen. 

It was difficult to get her bearings knowing the gravity had shifted. Taking a couple of careful steps forward and looking around Rose felt her heart contract painfully inside her chest. There was no one but her and River. 

_Doctor!_

She screamed it in her mind. There was no response. Closing her eyes, she tried to reach him across the bond. The energy shifted inside her. Restlessly it moved as soon as she let go of even a fraction of her control. She needed to calm down, she needed to focus.

"Rose," she heard River ground out.

"I can't reach him," Rose said frustratingly. 

River was getting up on all fours. "What are you talking about?" she asked.

Rose searched for that place in her mind where she could always feel the Doctor. She'd felt that even when he'd done everything in his power to block the connection. It was like it was a part of her now. And it was still there. A flicker of hope. 

"He's alive," Rose sighed, leaning against the railing with a smile. "The Doctor's alive."

River was getting to her feet. "I don't know how you could possibly know that," she said. "But can you tell if anyone else made it as well?" 

Rose straightened, shaking her head.

"Then how can you tell the Doctor's alive?" River asked.

"I just can," was all Rose said as she glanced around the room. "Where are we?" Rose asked River. "Engine room, or something?"

"I think so," River said hesitantly, holding up her scanner and shaking it, water dripping out.

"You think?" Rose asked.

River began pressing buttons on her scanner. "This needs to dry," she said, shaking the scanner a couple more times to get rid of the water.

Rose's eyes caught on shadows moving along the walls. Shadows that didn't quite move as they should.

"We should probably get going though," Rose said. 

River followed her gaze. "Looks like you're right," she allowed. 

The lights flickered overhead, sending a chill down Rose's spine. The shadows moved towards them across the floor.

"Run!"

Rose and River ran down the walkway they were on, away from the shadows. Away from the Doctor. Because Rose could feel it. The further they ran the further she got from him. But wherever he was he would head for the TARDIS so that is where she had to go. 

Darkness suddenly spilled out in front of them. Rose grabbed River's sleeve, pulling her to a stop.

"Oh, my god," River breathed.

"This way," Rose said, hurrying over to a ladder attached to the wall.

"We don't even know where that goes," River pointed out, her gaze flickering desperately about, trying to see every shadow. Trying to count them. 

"We'll just stay here and die then," Rose suggested sarcastically. 

River conceded with a sigh and climbed the ladder. Rose quickly followed.

Desperately they scrambled up, the shadows hunting them. Rose didn't dare to glance down. She knew there would be nothing but darkness below. Darkness and a million Vashda Nerada ready to tear their flesh from their bones. 

River frantically struggled up the ladder, Rose tight on her heels. The shadows were inches away. If they didn't hurry they would die right there. Screaming. If they didn't just fall, their bodies breaking on the cogs and gears far below.

"River! Hurry!" Rose screamed. 

The fear in Rose's voice made River put on a final burst of speed. She pulled herself up and over the ledge, quickly turning around and reaching her hand down to Rose. But Rose hesitated. Taking River’s hand meant putting her life in her hands. Even if it was just for a moment. And Rose found she couldn’t do it. Ignoring her help Rose scrambled up on her own.

"You really need to start trusting me," River said.

"No, I don't." 

They both got to their feet. They were on a platform, one metal door in front of them. Running for it Rose reached it first. She yanked it opened and they both threw themselves inside. One quick glance told them they were in some sort of control room. 

River helped Rose pulled the door shut. The sound of it locking echoed through the metal walls. Backing away they both stared at the door. It had a round glass window that showed them nothing. Nothing but blackness. 

"Do you think they can get through?" River wondered aloud.

But Rose never had a chance to answer what she might think. The question was answered for her as a shadow spilled in beneath the door. It stretched across the floor. Reaching. 

Neither Rose nor River stayed to watch. They turned and ran. The room was filled with control panels they had to zigzag to get passed. One door on the other side of the room was their only escape. But the shadows were creeping along the walls. 

River reached the door before Rose did. She pushed it opened and almost fell through. Her foot passing the doorway half a second before the shadows spilled out across the opening. Rose stumbled back.

"Rose!" River screamed. 

Rose could not see her. All consuming darkness filled the space where she knew the doorway was. A more brutal barrier than any wall. The shadows were filling the room, darkening everything around her. They took their time with their food, Rose thought bitterly.

She heard River scream her name. 

"Just run!" Rose shouted back.

"I can't leave you!"

"I'm not with the Doctor when you know him," Rose said.

Her eyes darted about to the shadows crossing the floor. Reaching for her. The Vashda Nerada didn’t just take their time they played with their food, Rose realised.

"Maybe this is what happens,” Rose said, fear gripping her heart so tight she thought it might give out. At the mere thought of never seeing the Doctor again the pressure increased. Her body rejecting the very notion of it. 

"No it isn't!" she heard River scream. "Trust me, it isn't!"

"Just shut the door, River. Shut the door and run."

"No!"

"Just go!" 

Rose was getting annoyed with her. It was quite enough that one of them died here today. But at the thought of dying, of her story ending here Rose found herself gasping for breath. She didn’t want to die. Alone. In the darkness.

"I can't!” River insisted. “This isn't how he loses you. I know it isn't."

"How would you know?" Rose asked, stumbling further back. Some shadows creeped closer only to retreat. Predators playing with their pray. 

"Because..." River began but fell silent. "Because you don't die," River said. "That's not what happens."

There was something like sorrow in River’s voice that surprised Rose. And she found that it scared her far more than anything else would have. Rose didn't want to hear the end of River's sentence. But she had no way of stopping her.

"You leave him, Rose."

You leave him.

Rose felt her heart stop dead inside her chest. The very fabric of time froze then and there. 

"You're lying." Rose shook her head. It couldn't be true. 

"I have no reason to lie," River tried to assure her. "I said he told me about you once. He did. But only once. I've never seen him hurt like that. Please, Rose. You don't die here, You can't." 

She couldn't because then time would change for River. If the Doctor lost Rose here he might never meet her. Rose didn't feel it as her knees hit the floor. Didn't feel it as she lost control. The shadows were drawing back in earnest now, recognising a more dangerous predator. When Rose opened her eyes she saw through the energy of the time vortex. She saw through the eyes of Bad Wolf.

Pain began searing through her head. Violent images of things to come and some that never would. In there she saw it. She saw the possibility of River’s words. Another beach. Another heartbreaking farewell. Broken pieces that couldn’t be put back together and the image of it tore her heart in ways Rose had not known a heart could be torn. 

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·


End file.
